A Spoonful of Sugar
Author's Note: Hi there! How are you? I hope that 2013 has been treating you well so far! I also hope that you like this story. It kind of has no point, but is pretty fun in its own way. :P Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or nothin'.
"Okay, so here's the thing," Sugar Motta says as she flounces into the choir room, "I have a proposition for you guys."
I'm a little concerned. I look over at Kurt, who shrugs in response. We both found notes in our locker at the end of the school day that said: Meet me in the choir room. The notes were printed in purple ink on pink construction paper and they smelled like green apple. I was pretty sure that it was a mistake until Kurt admitted to getting one too. That led to the two of us sitting in the plastic chairs, not sure what to think, awkwardly and nervously waiting for whoever sent them.
That person is obviously Sugar Motta.
She spins around and locks the door before looking at us once more. I exchange another worried look with my boyfriend, who nervously strokes the strap of his satchel. "Um, Sugar?" he says, "Why exactly did you leave us notes so that you could lock us in the choir room?"
She laughs a little and skips over to drag the piano bench across the room. She's dressed like she's in an aerobics instructional video from the 80s. Before Kurt and I could do or say anything more, she's perched on the piano bench with her hands on her lap, watching us intently. "Don't be scared," she says in her slightly-raspy voice, reaching out to pat both of our knees, "I'm not here to kill you; I'd make my daddy have you assassinated if that's what I wanted. But it's not." I see Kurt lean back slightly out of the corner of my eye. "I just want to make you guys a deal."
"What kind of deal?" I ask slowly.
Sugar grins breathlessly, "Well, I realized yesterday that you two are boyfriends," Kurt raises his eyebrow and she continues to explain, "I mean, I couldn't really tell before because you act pretty much like good friends who occasionally smile at each other too long. But then I had a dream and I was like, 'Oh yeah. Cutie and Hottie are totally dating'. I'm sorry if it offends you; it just kind of slipped my mind."
Kurt crossed and un-crossed his legs, looking slightly uncomfortable and confused. "So…what does mine and Blaine's relationship status have to do with anything?"
"Okay, I'll just say it straight up," Sugar reaches into her leather handbag and pulls out a handful of bills, "I will pay you $200 if you guys make out in front of me."
I'm slightly weirded-out, but also a mixture of bemused and intrigued. Kurt's eyebrows go to his hairline. "You what?" he says disbelievingly.
I'm letting Kurt do the talking because his reactions amuse me.
The girl rolls her eyes, as if she shouldn't have to explain herself. "Guys, come on," she says, "For most girls, watching some guy-on-guy action is a real turn-on. I am included in that category of girls. And, the Luke and Noah story from As the World Turns used to do it for me, but it's mostly really depressing and I can't handle it right now. I need some authentic gay make-out sessions to get my fix." She begins to fan herself with the stack of money as Kurt and I stare at her blankly, "You know, there's a real appeal in Tom Cruise sucking Brad Pitt's neck in that one vampire movie… But you guys aren't like that. Compared to that kind of stuff, you're cotton-candy on a stick!" Her brown eyes are serious as she gives us a sweet smile, "But I'm okay with that. And I really want to watch you guys kiss."
After a long silence of staring at each other to no result, I clear my throat, "Well, Sugar…" I look over at Kurt for assistance, but he's still kind of stunned, "Um…Kurt and I are really flattered. But—"
Sugar gently hits me on the lips with the money and I shut up. "Nuh-uh," she patronizes, "No 'but's. If you want, I'll double the money."
"It's not about the money, really, it's just that—"
She cuts me off again, "I'm not taking no for an answer, mister strong-arm-muscles." I frown and look down at my arms in bewilderment. She shakes her head and sighs, "Don't pretend that you didn't wear that T-shirt just to show off those guns."
I'm about to reply, but Kurt's evidently not liking the change of topic. "Sugar, we really like you, but I'm not sure that Blaine and I could—"
It's then that Sugar stands up dramatically. "Come on, Kurt CoBlaine! I really need my boykisses, okay? It's after school, nobody's around, and the doors are locked. And you're both really nice guys and I think you're awesome and, if you did this for me, I would be so grateful. Plus, I'm paying you." She shoves the money towards us again. We shake our heads to decline her politely. She throws the bills into the air and they scatter to the ground. "What is wrong with you?" she asks, but she's not angry. More like upset…disappointed.
It's that expression that makes me change my mind. I sit up straighter, "Hey, Sugar, listen. How about you go re-decorate Mr. Shuester's office while I talk to Kurt, okay? We'll discuss it."
Her face lights up like an excited child on Christmas morning. She claps and does a little happy dance, "Okay! I'll come back in five minutes!" Then, she gives us a wave and runs into the adjacent room, leaving Kurt and me alone in the choir room.
"You're not seriously considering this, are you?" Kurt asks me dubiously.
I shrug one shoulder. "It's not for the money, Kurt," I say, "Did you see the look on her face? I mean, it's pretty harmless, and she is our friend..." He still looks a little wary of the whole thing, so I take his hand. "But, I can't exactly do it without you. So, if you're not comfortable with it, then we'll just say no."
Kurt bites his lip thoughtfully. I can almost see the gears in his mind turning as he mulls it over. "It's just a little weird," he admits, "I mean, we're usually so private. Making out in front of somebody is just…a completely different thing." He looks the way he sometimes does in the bedroom when I suggest something new for us to try out; contemplative, hesitant, but open-minded. The thing that I like most about him is that he's not afraid to try new things, but he's also not afraid to speak his mind when he's not up for something.
I raise my eyebrows. "What?" I say dumbly.
He breathes out and takes my hand. "Okay…we'll do it. For Sugar…and the designer clothes I can buy with that money…" I laugh a little. We're both a little nervous about the whole thing, but I'm kind of weirdly excited and I don't know why—the thrill of it? "But, we make her swear not to tell anyone."
"Agreed," I say and we pinky promise with a laugh. "Sugar, you can come back now!"
She jumps back into the choir room. "So, have you made a decision?" she asks expectantly, "Because I'm getting kind of impatient with you two. I mean, hurry up."
Kurt shakes his head with a peculiar smile on his face that says I can't believe I'm doing this. "Yes, Sugar, we've decided."
I speak up, the words sounding weird coming out of my mouth, "We'll do it. We'll…make out in front of you." She squeals and does a little dance, so I talk again before she can get too worked-up, "But, we have one rule."
Sugar sits herself down on the piano bench in front of us, "Okay, what is it?" She's got an excited gleam in her eye.
"You can't tell anybody about this," Kurt says firmly, making sure she understands. I nod along with him.
"Yeah, okay!" she says, clapping. "Now, come on, get to it!"
Kurt gives her a steady blue-eyed look, "Seriously, Sugar. It's important." We don't want anyone judging us and we also don't want any of the other girls to get any ideas.
She waves her arms, "Yeah, yeah, my lips are sealed, I got it! Now go!"
"Okay…" I mutter, then I turn to Kurt and look him in the eye. He swivels in his chair as well so that he's facing me. We've done this countless times, but it's an entirely different experience, sitting in the choir room with somebody watching. We're both tense as we lean towards each other for a closed-mouthed kiss.
We're over-thinking it, too conscious of Sugar's presence. Our hands don't move from our sides and I'm not putting it past Kurt to even kiss with his eyes open. This doesn't feel right. Kissing Kurt is, literally, number one on the list of my favorite things to do (before we were dating, it was 'performing on stage', but then he became my boyfriend and kind of rocked my world.) This shouldn't be as weird as it is, because this intimacy has become such a part of both our lives.
I make myself forget about the tension in the room, forget about the stiff chairs we're sitting on, and I concentrate simply on Kurt. I lose my newfound inhibitions in the act of kissing him, concentrate on his soft skin and the sweet but manly scent of his cologne. When I place my hand on his smooth cheek, he breathes in through his nose and it's like our first kiss all over again.
It takes Kurt a little longer to relax, but he gradually releases the tension in his shoulders and the kiss deepens. He places his hand on my leg—close to my knee—as my tongue probes into his mouth. It's suddenly too hot in the room; my hand is tangled in soft the hair on the nape of his neck, he's pressing me into the back of the plastic chair, his hand is resting on my left hip bone.
Then Kurt pulls away with another deep breath. We stare at each other, slightly dazed and rumpled. I can't help but grin and my boyfriend lets out a breathless laugh as well. There's also a noise from our previously silent observer.
We both look over at Sugar in slight surprise; we forgot she was there.
She's fanning herself with another stack of money. "Here you go," she says, placing it in the front pocket of my T-shirt, "You can have the stuff on the ground, too, but I'm not gonna pick it up."
"Oh, um, thanks," I say. I can see Kurt blushing and trying to straighten himself up. I give him a small smile and I'm pleased to see the glint in his eyes as well.
Sugar kisses us both on the cheek then stands up and dusts of her neon elastic pants. "That was really sexy," she says, "I'm glad we did this." She flounces to the door of the choir room and unlocks it. "See you later!" she shouts before leaving.
I look over at Kurt and there's a moment of silence. We pick up the money on the floor, both lost in our thoughts, and then we both start to laugh. "I can't believe we just did that," my boyfriend says, covering his face with one hand.
"I don't know," I say before kissing his cheek. I love the pleased expression he always gets when I do that. I shrug a little, "I thought it was strangely erotic, actually."
"Really?" Kurt says, leaning towards me and placing a hand on my leg again. "Having another person there turns you on?" he murmurs into my ear. I gulp.
I look beyond him to see that Sugar closed the door when she left. "W-well, I guess. It's more just the feeling that it's not…not just us, you know? Adding another person adds something to the whole experience." I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm saying and not on the way Kurt is kissing down my jaw.
"Mhm," he hums into the side of my neck, "So, how do you feel about the fact that somebody could walk in right now? Do you like that?"
My response, rather than being an intelligent one, is some kind of groan.
Kurt grins. "Well, although I do appreciate the scandal of it all, these chairs are really uncomfortable…"
My boyfriend looks shocked but intrigued. "Blaine!" he exclaims, smiling slightly, his eyes bright. I just shrug and then chase him for another kiss. He pulls away, "I was thinking more along the lines of my house."
I climb into his lap and straddle him on the plastic chair. "Your parents?" I say between kisses.
"Dad and Carol have a date," he replies breathily.
We see Sugar in the parking lot on our way out and she gives us a knowing smirk and a thumbs-up before we drive away.
Author's Second Note: Okay, wow. Those boys kind of got away from me there. They're horny, okay? This is probably the most…sexualish thing I've ever written, so please be nice. Also, reviews would be wonderful.