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Author's Note: What I think Raj's thoughts were when Howard and Burnadette got married. I'mas huge Raj/Howard shipper.

Raj's Thoughts

It hurts.

It hurts a lot to see you with her. Kissing her, touching her. Marrying her. Because it's not me.

Remember when Leonard's mom came to visit and she said we were in a relationship? I didn't mind. It hurt me that it embarrassed you.

Remember when we accidentally kissed? That was the best moment of my life. I was drunk, yes, so it's a little blurry. But it was amazing.

I've loved you from the day we met. You may have been perverted, awkward, and a little to attached to your mother. But I loved your flaws. I still do. I love you.

I'll smile and act like everything's fine. Because I love you more than her. I'll give you up so you can be happy. I wish I had told you before Burnadette came and screwed everything up. That will always be my biggest regret.

I truly hope your happy. I hope you love her and that she loves you back. I hope she never hurts you. I know you'll never be mine, so all I can ask is for you to be happy.

I'll move on, probably. Maybe I'll get married, have some kids. No matter what happens, my heart will always be yours.

Be happy, Howard. I'll always be here for you. I'll always love you.