It's been so long since Lelouch's death. Suzaku couldn't forget anything that had happened that terrible day. Everything had been set up and Lelouch, knowing he'd die, smiled the whole way.
Suzaku never understood how it made sense. Sure, his plan to change the world included his death, but how could that smile… That sly smirk he always has, stay upon his beautiful face?
Underneath the mask, Suzaku wanted to cry, but he convinced himself that he was too strong. Tears are weakness in the eyes. And he wasn't weak, but he did stain his hands with his friend's blood. And that gave anyone, even somebody as emotionless as Lelouch, an excuse to break down crying.
Suzaku, wondering around the city in the middle of the night, couldn't stop thinking about that day. It always haunted him. Pushing his sword through Lelouch's stomach, his eyes watering as the prince grabbed onto him, whispering words that he could no longer remember. The blood smearing down Suzaku's mask once Lelouch let go, dying. And the worse moment of all, Nunnally's painful and piercing cries as she held on to his body. "BROTHER! BROTHER!"
The heartless hurrahs of the people upon the death of such a special boy….or more…a man.
Suzaku never seen him again, and he'd live with this murder for the rest of his life. However, Lelouch was the cause of Euphemia's death…so why was he not happy about spilling his blood? He should have been. That was something he yearned for, but when it happened, all he felt was disgust and gloom.
Suzaku continued to walk, turning a corner and then catching sight of somebody. He was, or seemed around the same age as Suzaku, wearing a hoodie and jeans, with purple, killer eyes and…a familiar face… Was that really?
"Lelouch, is that you?"
The boy turned around. His hood was up, shielding his face. "My name isn't Lelouch. It is R.R."
Suzaku couldn't stop staring. He looked so much like his friend. Or was he just hoping he did? "R.R?"
His purple eyes blinked. "Yes. Who is this Lelouch?" The question came out as if the boy was completely interested in the dead raven-haired boy who had once been emperor.
Unfortunately, Suzaku was too depressed to even think about him, but he still replied. "Well, he's the one who changed this world. Japan was once overrun by Britannia, and he made sure that the Japanese and the weak were never treated with disgrace, that every man, no matter what, was equal. He fixed the world entirely. And now everything is fine, but he's gone."
R.R seemed into the story now. "Gone where?"
Suzaku shrugged, tears welling up in his emerald eyes. "Why are you still here?"
"Because," R.R pulled down his hood, revealing a face that caused the new Zero to gasp. "You're crying and I hate it when my friends cry."
R.R's appearance wasn't an imagination of Suzaku's, it was real.
Suzaku collapsed to his knees, grabbing onto R.R's legs, wrapping around tightly as if he'd never dare to let go.
It started to drizzle, hitting both the boy's face's when they looked up. But Suzaku didn't care, not when the person he'd been missing all his life was standing right in front of him for the first time in a long time. "YOU! You're…..alive?" He uttered, his voice cracking.
"No, I'm dead, Suzaku. You killed me."
"NO! NO! NO-"
Lelouch- or R.R- slid down to his friend's level, wrapping him up in a hug. "I'm dead. I'm dead…"
Suzaku held back his sobs, but the tears wouldn't stop, creating streams down his cheeks, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut. All he could think was "monster." That's what he was. He had allowed himself to accept Lelouch's plan, to kill him. And there was probably another way. Another way they could've went. Something else they could have planned. What was he thinking?!
"M-m-monster…" Suzaku sputtered. This was the weakest he's ever felt. Weaker than when Euphy died. Weaker than when he learned Lelouch's secret… even when he had impaled a sword through his own best friend. The only thing he wanted now was to be dead.
Lelouch grabbed Suzaku's chin, tilting his head up so they gazed right into each other's eyes. "You're anything but a monster. You've helped me create a new world, a world where Nunnally and others like her can be happy. Everyone's equal and-"
"You're dead," Suzaku said bitterly.
"And it was all according to the plan." Lelouch's hand pulled away from his friend. "Remember what you said happiness might look like?"
The brunette thought for a bit. "Glass."
Lelouch nodded, smiling as if recalling the memory when they were young. "And do you remember your words exactly?"
He tried to think, tried to seize hold of what he said before, but he couldn't. How would he be able to know what he said about happiness so many years ago? Especially in this time, when all he felt was despair and pain. Biting his lip, he sighed, shaking his head. "Do you?"
"Of course." Lelouch watched the sky, even though there was nothing to see but the drizzles of rain falling down. "Happiness is like glass. Usually you don't notice it, but it's always there, you merely need to change your point of view slightly, and that glass will sparkle whenever it reflects the light." His expression became soft. "And that's what you need to do."
Suzaku looked at Lelouch. "I do?"
The prince rose to his feet, and gripped Suzaku's hands, covering his with his own. "Take this and search for your happiness. It's there."
"But…I miss you so much…" he trailed off, feeling the tears beginning to come back as he tightened around the object in his hand. It was cold and smooth. Was it glass? He didn't check to see, afraid that his friend would vanish if he looked away.
Lelouch smiled. "I'm not gone. I'm always there; you just have to change your point of view slightly."
Change his point of view? What was that supposed to mean? Nothing hid the fact that Lelouch was dead… because of him.
Suddenly, the raven haired boy turned, lifting his hood and starting to walk off.
Suzaku jumped up, yelling as loud as he could, "Wait! I finally get to see you and you're leaving without saying goodbye?"
R.R didn't stop what he started, but he did reply back. "Change your point of view! I promise when you do you'll see."
And with that, he disappeared. But Suzaku didn't want that. He wanted to hang out with Lelouch more, wanted to ask questions, wanted to talk to him. He broke into a run, chasing the person he needed the most. "R.R! Lelouch!"
No reply. No nothing.
"R.R! LELOUCH! PLEASE!"