The mystery behind Troll fics.
Hello instead of Stephen speaking in these author's comments today it's me! Sonic the Hedgehog! He gave me permission to post this fanfic on his page. Enjoy!
Welcome to Sonic's biggest mysteries!
I'm Sonic, and today we're going to cover why troll fics are made.
There's a lot of troll fics on Fanfiction net, poor grammar, no plot and characters that act well .completely out of character. While some fanfics can be considered troll fics accidently. Most troll fics are created for the purpose of being bad. Yeh...there's millions. There's Lisa is Pregnant, Cloud mows the lawn, Half-life full life consequences, Cupcakes, and Sonics furry chubby. And let me tell you I'd love to murder the author of that last story. Why would I ever want to rape Pokémon? And how can Hitler just randomly come back to life? It makes no sense! But how and why are these fanfics created? That's what I'm about to show you!
Here we are at little 10 year old Tommy's house. He's on his fanfiction page.
"Goddamnit!" Tommy swore.
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"Oh hi Sonic, I've written this great story. It's 12 chapters long. Has a great plot and ending. The spelling is wonderful and it's only ever received three reviews! It's been around for eight months. EIGHT MONTHS ! ! "
"That's a shame. I've read it and it's a really good story." I replied back.
"People are too used to the good stuff and cliché plots, If only I could get something that would pull everybody in, get people laughing at every word I write."
"Well why don't you try writing a troll fic." I suggested.
Tommy raised an eyebrow "A troll fic?"
"Yeh. Do a fanfic that's so horrible it'll get everybody laughing at how bad it is. They'll still be entertained just by how bad it is."
"But how's that different from good fanfics?" Tommy asked.
I smiled at him "People pay a lot more attention to troll fics, they'll do Youtube videos, do MST's on Deviantart, post your story on forums and from what they do. People will pay a lot more attention to your home page. And you'll get reviews up the wazoo! And become well known all over the web. People love how weird, unexpected, ridiculous and bizarre troll fics are."
"Really?" said a puzzled Tommy.
"Of course, look at a fanfiction author called Squirrelking! He's had cartoons made on his stuff on Newgrounds! Look at Sonic High School by DarkDoomFireMaster, one of the most loved bad fics ever! I'm a little outraged it involves me with huge swollen itchy diseased testicles, but people still love it! Secondpillow has nearly a thousand reviews on his Harry potter trollfic!"
Tommy smiled back at the idea "Sounds like a good idea. How's this for the title name idea. A Mario, Zelda crossover called Mario rapes Yoshi?"
I gave a thumbs up at it. "Great! What's the plot?"
"Barely any plot, Mario sneaks into Yoshi's house in the middle of the night and rapes him, but Yoshi's not bothered by it as he secretly loved Mario. And Luigi comes along and they all have a threesome."
"That's genius." I grinned.
"The next day, Link comes along and sees Mario kissing Yoshi, he's jealous and he challenges Mario to a make love competition. And Yoshi has to choose who's the best kisser?"
"Brilliant. Just one last thing."
"What's that?" Tommy asked.
"Be sure to spell every word wrong. The more ridiculous the spelling, the funnier it is. And lie about your age."
I watched as Tommy wrote his fanfic, I gave him a couple of suggestions but he added tons more things, like Link having a magic spell to make his penis grow larger and Zelda accidently growing a penis from a spell gone wrong and the use of profanity was ridiculous. There was a swear word in nearly every sentence.
There was also many appearances from Tails the fox who wanted Luigi's cock for an ancient long forgotten ritual that if made right, it made anyone desirable.
Suddenly Tails came along "Hey, whatcha doing?" He asked.
"Writing a fanfic." Tommy replied.
"Am I in it?"
"You bet, in fact this story just might make you famous!"
"Wow! Thanks, you guys!" Tails then walked away. If only he knew.
Finally I watched as he uploaded his multi chapter fanfic.
"We'll have to come back in a few days." I said to him. "These things take time."
3 days later, I showed up at Tommy's house again. He greeted me at the door. "Hey, Sonic!"
"Hi, Tommy" I replied. "How's the fanfiction page?"
"Well er...I've got some mixed feelings."
I went in and looked at his fanfiction page. "Wow, 300 reviews for Mario rapes Yoshi!" Let me do a google search on your username.
I googled Tommy's username. He had Youtube videos and had fan art and MST's on Deviantart. His fanfic was posted on video game forums and an animated cartoon was in the works of his fanfic for Newgrounds. He also made it to a list of top ten worst fanfic authors, he was no 3, only behind authors, the 6ft dick, and Squirrelking. He had however beaten authors The Pete Peterson Experience and Chewy2007. He had recieved way better recognition than writing good fan fics.
People called him the next lovable Tara Gilespie. Many of the comments he had on the YouTube videos were positive.
"You're famous!" I said to Tommy.
"Er...more like infamous." Tommy replied. "While I've had a lot of people telling me how great my fanfic is. A lot of people have called me a sick asshole, a cock sucking bastard, a pervert and many other things."
"Just ignore them...words can't hurt you."
"I wish I hadn't told my friends about this fanfic. None of them will talk to me." Tommy sighed."
"As long as you have tons of fame. Who cares about friends?" Sonic replied.
"But I've received death threats in my reviews. Some have even threatened to kill my whole family."
"I'm sure no one ever got killed over a fanfic."
Suddenly a rock came through Tommy's window, smashing it. A loud, angry voice came from outside. "There's the fuckhead's house! Let's burn his house down and nail all his family to the cross!"
Dr Robotnik was there with the crowd and had thrown the rock. "Not before I choke him to death! I do not have a pork chop fetish and I do not get off at pork chops in tutu's! Well not much anyway..." The crowd stared at Robotnik awkwardly. "What?" he said. The crowd then went back to yelling angrily.
My eyes widened in fear. "I was never here." I then quickly ran out the back door of Tommy's house. Good thing I have super speed!
Yeah I suppose I should have saved Tommy's family, but how do you suggest I carry a boy and his parents by myself?
"Remember folks, just because you hate something doesn't mean everybody else hates it too!"