Disclaimer: All characters are the express right of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Also, I do not hold the rights to any of the songs used.
AN: Thanks to my beta toocute24 and my pre-reader, Bee1982.
AN: Attention please! I know that a lot of you don't read these, but please take a second. This chapter is probably a lot of filler, but it also deals with some medical stuff. Having said that, I am NOT a doctor. Everything that is in this chapter I found on line through Google and Wikipedia. Please go easy on me.
I was halfway home when I realized that I needed to tell Bella my story. I quickly took in my surroundings and, seeing no cops, made a fast U-turn and headed back to Bella's.
I parked in her driveway and sprinted to her door. I had my hand raised to knock when the door swung open.
I cleared my throat. "Sorry, Bella. I hope I didn't wake you."
She shook her head. "No, no. Come on in. Are you okay?"
I stepped over the threshold and into Bella's home for the first time ever. I had been in her old apartment plenty of times, but she had moved here not long after we had broken up.
"Nice place." I commented as I tried to ease my nerves.
"Thanks." Bella led the way to her living room and offered me a seat. "Can I get you anything? Water, tea, soda?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Um…listen, I realized that I never got to explain myself to you. About my behavior when we were together."
"Edward, you don't…"
"Yes, I do." I looked down at the floor, took a deep breath, and then looked up into her eyes. "Bella, I was messed up for a long time. Before I met you I hadn't been in a real relationship since high school. Everyone before you had been one night stands or just a fling. When I met you…wow…it was like someone flipped a switch and I didn't want to be that guy anymore. Unfortunately for us, I didn't know how to stop."
"Edward…" Bella was shaking her head at me.
"No, Bella. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to fully understand my problem. Siobhan really opened my eyes to the man that I had become. I had been on a downward spiral ever since Jessica, my high school girlfriend, cheated on me." Once I opened the floodgate, the story came pouring out. I didn't stop speaking until I had told Bella everything. When I was finally silent, Bella was looking at me with tears on her face.
"Edward, I…uh, I wish I knew what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Bells. I just needed you to know."
Bella sat in silence for a minute. I watched the different emotions play over her face and wished I could read minds. I sat in agony waiting for her to say something—anything—and when I thought that I couldn't take the silence anymore, she spoke.
"Edward, we can play the whole 'who did what to whom in our relationship' game all we want. In the end though, we both screwed up. Either one of us could have done things differently, but we both allowed our pasts to stay in between us. In the end, we just weren't strong enough to stay together, no matter how much we loved each other."
I licked my suddenly dry lips before I asked the question that I desperately needed an answer to. "Bella, do you…"
"Do you think that maybe there…that we might ever get another chance?"
I sat on the table in Dr. George Alistair's office, waiting for him to tell me if he could help me freeze some of my eggs or not. I wasn't going to let cancer rob me of my ability to have children in the future. I wasn't even sure I wanted to have children until I was threatened with never being able to.
A knock on the door broke me from my thoughts. "Miss Swan?"
"Yes." I watched as the door was slowly pushed open.
A short man in a white lab coat came into the room, his hand held out for introductions. "I'm Dr. Alistair. I understand you are interested in having some eggs harvested. May I ask why?"
I looked at the doctor and explained my situation. He nodded and took notes, but never said a word. "So what do you think, Doctor? Can you help me?"
"When is your surgery?"
"Next week. Is that a problem?"
I watched as the doctor pulled his glasses from his face and looked me dead in the eye. "Actually, yes. I'm sorry, but the process takes approximately two weeks to complete. That is from the day that you would be injected with the hormones until I actually harvest your eggs."
I was stunned. What was I going to do? I sat there and stared at the doctor as he droned on and on about procedures and costs and other such nonsense that I cared nothing about.
"What if I postponed my surgery," I interrupted, "just long enough for you to harvest my eggs?"
"Miss Swan, Isabella, what you are asking is highly unethical. You are asking me to allow…"
I held up my hand. "It's not your decision. It's mine. I'll make the call. If my doctor agrees, then there should be no reason for you not to perform the procedure and give me the injection."
I smiled even though the doctor had reluctantly agreed. Pulling my phone from the pocket of my jeans, I dialed the number to Carlisle's office. When I left my appointment, it was after receiving a hormone injection that would bring more than one egg forward. Carlisle had agreed to wait so that my chances of having children weren't ruined.
I lay in the pre-op bed and stared angrily at the ceiling. I was sure that if it were possible, lasers would be shooting from my eyes and burning a hole where I was staring. I had been poked and prodded for the last two weeks, and although Dr. Alistair had warned me that I would have mood swings, he didn't tell me that I would be a complete bitch. Everyone was staying away from me right now for their own protection. At this point even I didn't want to be around me.
"Miss Swan?" a soft voice said from the door.
I looked up and saw Dr. Alistair's nurse staring at me. "What?" I growled.
"Mood swings?" she giggled.
"You could say that."
The short woman walked further into the room and picked up my chart. "I see that you received the last shot a day and a half ago, correct?"
I nodded. "Yes, thank God!"
"Okay, Dr. Alistair will be here in just a few minutes. I'm going to go ahead and get your IV started. You'll receive your anesthesia soon. You brought someone with you today, right?"
"Yeah. I had to drag him with me, but he's here. No one wants anything to do with me lately."
"Well, that will stop once your hormones get back to normal." The nurse sterilized my arm, warned me about a small stick, and then inserted the needle into my vein. When she was finished, I had a nice amount of tape on my arm to keep the IV from slipping out. "Okay, you're all set. Dr. Alistair will be here in a few minutes."
It wasn't long before the doctor came in and explained to me—again—what he would be doing. I nodded, but I really just wanted to get on with it. He finally left to scrub up. The door had barely shut behind him before two orderlies walked in and began wheeling me to surgery. Once there, I slid to the other bed and then a nurse injected me with something that made me feel warm all over.
I woke up to a different room and someone talking to me. I couldn't make it out, so I just agreed and then tried to go back to sleep. When I woke again, I was back in my pre-op room, only this time I wasn't alone.
I turned my head toward the voice. "Hey," I rasped.
"Dr. Alistair said that it went fine," Edward told me with a smile.
"Good. Did he say when I can go home?"
Edward shook his head while reaching for the cup that was sitting at his elbow. He stuck a straw into it and then brought it to my lips. I opened my mouth and began to suck the cool liquid in greedily. When I had enough, I let go of the straw and Edward put the cup down.
I closed my eyes and drifted in and out of consciousness for the next hour. Someone finally came in and told me what to expect over the next couple of weeks and then had me sign papers, discharging me.
"Do you need help getting dressed?" Edward offered.
Having Edward help me get dressed was the last thing that I wanted. "No, but can you help me get over to the bathroom?"
I grabbed my bag of clothes and then, with Edward's help, made it to the bathroom. I shut and locked the door, then leaned against the sink. After splashing my face with cold water in an attempt to fully wake up, I started getting dressed.
It wasn't long before I had my clothes on and was walking back out to the room. The nurse was back, and I stood silently for a minute and watched her flirting with Edward. What impressed me the most, though, was the fact that he wasn't even acknowledging her. He was doing something on his phone.
"Can we leave now?" I asked, making my presence known.
Edward looked up, relief evident in his expression. "Yeah, let's go."
He stood up and walked over to me, taking my hand and leading me to the door.
"Miss Swan, you'll have to ride in this." The nurse was pushing a wheelchair at me.
"I don't think so," I scoffed.
"Sorry," she shrugged, "it's hospital policy."
I sighed in exasperation and sat in the chair. I also ended up waiting…and waiting…and waiting. When I finally had enough, I huffed. "Are you done flirting now? I would like to get the hell out of here!"
I heard a squeak, followed by Edward's booming laughter. "Let's go home, Bells."
I smiled, knowing he said 'home' more for the nurse's benefit than mine, but I also found myself wishing that it was true somehow.
I sat in an uncomfortable chair in the hospital waiting room and drank a horrible cup of coffee. I was doing anything and everything to keep my mind busy, but nothing could keep my thoughts from the operating room where my father was trying to save Bella's life.
"How're you doing, Edward?"
I looked up and saw Bella's dad, Charlie, taking the empty seat next to me. I wasn't sure what the right answer was. "I'm okay. How are you?"
Charlie sighed. "Well, I wish that my daughter wasn't in the fight of her life at twenty-eight, but I wasn't given the choice."
"I understand. I would take her place if I could," I told him, surprised that we actually had some common ground.
"Would you, Edward? Why?"
I looked into the eyes that were so much like Bella's and answered truthfully. "Because I still love her, Sir."
Charlie looked at me for a minute before nodding. Without another word, he got up and walked back over to sit beside Kate and Garrett.
Two hours later, we were all still congregated in the waiting area waiting for any news, when I looked up and saw my dad walking toward us.
"Dad?" I asked, causing everyone to look up.
Carlisle smiled. "It went well. I think we got it all, but the chemo will kill what I missed. She'll be in recovery for about an hour, and then they'll take her to her room. I'm going to keep her here for a few days, though. I want to make sure that there are no problems. It's possible that she could have some issues swallowing, eating and speaking, so I want to monitor her here."
"What about her voice, Doc? Will she be able to sing anymore?"
"Only time will tell, Marcus. She won't be using her voice for a while, anyway. We need to give her throat time to heal." Carlisle looked at the rest of us. "I'll have someone come tell you when you can see her."
I watched my dad turn and then disappear down the corridor he had just come from.
"Well that's a relief." Charlie was the first to break the silence.
Murmurs of agreement went around the room but I didn't say a word. I just sat down in my chair and listened as they all discussed who was going to help Bella get to her appointments. The only problem was that no one seemed to be available. It was my turn to break the silence.
"I can do it."
All eyes were suddenly on me.
"Are you sure, Edward?" Alice wanted to know.
I nodded. "I took her to her last surgery and then stayed with her the whole day. I think I can handle this."
"Edward, Bella is most likely gonna need someone to move in and take care of her after all of her treatments," Kate piped in.
"I'm aware of that, Kate." I stood up. "I am prepared to do whatever Bella needs me to do. If that means take care of her, then that's what I am going to do." I was steadfast in my promise.
I saw from the corner of my eye, Charlie stand up and walk over to me. "Thank you, Edward. I know that Bella will be in good hands with you to care for her."
Once the details were all worked out and the girls had agreed to take shifts when I would be at the studio working on our new album, we all sat back and relaxed. It wasn't long after that that Carlisle came back and said that Bella was up for visitors.
"She's asking for you, Edward."
AN: Thanks for reading and I hope that I didn't screw up too badly. Leave me some love. Until next time.