Blanket Disclaimer (because I realized I should prolly do one): I do not own Gorillaz or a skating rink, but I do own the plotline and original characters in this story. Gorillaz belong to Jamie Hewelett and Damon Albarn and the Zombie Flesh Eaters crew. If I owned Gorillaz, they prolly wouldn't be as good, I'm nowhere near old enough to manage the best band in the world.
Enjoy the chapter! :D
"That'll be $18.96 sir."
"$18.96?! For skate rentals?!"
"Yes sir. Rink fee is included in that sir."
"Yes sir, rink fee sir."
"Stop calling me sir!"
"Murdoc, calm down-"
"STAY OUT OF THIS NOODLE!"
I heard Noodle sigh behind me, then slide in front of me. I glared at the purpley bits of her hair while she apologized to the greasy teenager behind the desk. I was about to remind her that we are paying customers, but she quickly shoved a crisp twenty note bill into his hands and dragged me off.
"Nooodle! I was bargaining!" I huffed.
"You were causing a scene. Can we just get our skates on and start the lessons? I would hate to be late for our first lesson!"
"Our first lesson? This lesson is for you, not me!"
Noodle laughed and patted my shoulder delicately.
"You agreed that you would do the lesson with me! Do not lie to me!" Noodle said, becoming more serious.
Damn, she had me there. I relented and led her to a seating area where we could put on our skates. We both already owned a pair, and I was very glad we didn't have to be caught in those bloody rental skates. They were so worn I saw one woman's toenail poking out the edge of one! Yuck. I tied mine up quickly and tightly, not bothering to spend much time making sure they were perfect. Noodle however, took her sweet time and dantily laced her skates up, making sure to 'loop it just right' or some rubbish. I was getting impatient.
"Noooodle... Hurry up!" I whined. Wait, I didn't whine! I uh.. grumbled. Yeah.. grumbled..
Noodle glared at me from behind her thick bangs. With a quick little flick of her wrist, her skates were beautifully tied. I compared the messy knots of mine to her neat bows.
"That looks terrible Murdoc! Let me re-lace those.."
"NO! Can we just go already? I don't need to look like a bloody fairy princess!"
Noodle sighed and stood up carefully. I attempted to do the same, and nearly did a penguin slide. We hobbled to the edge of the rink, and I spotted a group of people standing in the middle. They were chatting amiably with a fat man (who I immediately recognized as Mr. Spatch) and the shorter, much skinnier person he seemed to be shielding behind his back. If Spatch hadn't been facing me and Noodle, I might have been able to identify who he was hiding so possessively.
"That must be the lesson group!" said Noodle, pointing the chatting people.
Noodle took a delicate step onto the ice glided forward. After a few uneasy glides, she was skating like a pro. I deadpanned. Well.. She obviously didn't need lessons. I took a careful step onto the ice, and somehow managed to stay standing. Now that I had gained some confidence (bad move), I put my other foot onto the ice. I still hadn't fallen yet so I decided to try to skate forward.
As soon as the metal blade of my skate moved, I was doomed. I was falling, so I immediately windmilled my arms and back pedaled. That made me almost fall backwards, so I leaned with all my weight forwards. I was almost steady now, but my attention was suddenly attracted to a bright blue blur of color darting towards me. In an attempt to identify it, I looked up. The motion of looking up threw me completely off-balance, and my feet flew out from underneath me.
Or not. No thud! Seconds before my back was to hit the ground, a thin hand grabbed onto mine and somehow managed to haul me to my feet. I latched onto the thin arm that came with the hand and let out a relieved whoosh of air. After composing myself so I wouldn't look like a complete git, I focused my attention on the person who had saved my arse (literally). I nearly fell again when I realized that I was saved by none other than Stuart Pot, the blue-haired teenager who's voice had drawn me back to the damned rink.
"Uh.. Are ye' okay mistah...?" he asked, his voice small and nervous.
It didn't seem like he had very good people skills, I briefly wondered why.
"STU' QUIT BOTHA'IN THAT NICE MAN GIT BACK 'ERE!" Norm bellowed, pointing to a spot of ice at his side.
Oh. That's why. I had heard about this kind of thing before. A coach or a rep or whatever would find a newly-recognized athlete to represent, then speak for them so often that they wouldn't know how to get on without them! Dastardly business, that is.
Stuart offered me a tiny nervous smile before turning tail and skating off to Norm in a flurry of blue. Great, now I was stuck on the edge of the rink with no help. Unless...
"EY NOODS!" I shouted as obnoxiously as possible. "BE A DEAR AND HELP ME OUT?"
Noodle went a few shades of red and attempted to pretend she didn't hear me. Ha! Nice try girlie!
"Nooooodlleeee~" I crooned, and she immediately covered up her ears and cringed.
Hmph. She obviously was unable to appreciate my voice, as it is only for the true connoisseur. She did however, stop her feeble attempts to ignore me, and skated over to my station.
"Yes Murdoc-SAN?" she said, putting emphasis on the honorific in a semi-threatening way.
"Help me out luv? I haven't quite mastered this asinine sport yet..."
Noodle sighed and stuck out her hand. I took it and she somehow managed to drag my arse from the sideboards to the middle of the rink to join the rest of the students, most of which were snickering at us. I shot some chubby kid one of my trademark glares, and he paled and asked to use the restroom. Noodle caught on to my 'shenanigans' and jabbed me in the rib with her pointy little elbow.
"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Niccals." Norm spat sarcastically. I wondered how he knew my last name. Maybe Noodle told him?
"Now if you and your girlfriend are ready, we can begin the lesson!"
"She's not my-" another jab in the ribs with a pointy elbow.
"Play along, that man is... how you say... interested in me. I told him you were with me so he would leave me alone!" she whispered quickly into my ear.
So that's how it is.
"Roight then, keep yer pants on." I grumbled at Norm.
"Well then," Norm addressed the group, "I am Norman Spatch, and with us today is champion figure skater, Stuart Pot. I will be teaching you all the fundamentals of skating with Stu's assistance."
Stu gave a small wave to the group. He looked uncomfortable around so many people (which was about 15 at the most), but happy to be skating in the first place. I gave him my most reassuring smile.
"We'll start off with the basics. First off is skating forward. Nothin' fancy, Stu here will demonstrate." he said, gesturing to the blue-haired teen.
Stuart skated forward slowly so everyone could observe the 'complex footwork' involved in such an action. I was pretty sure everyone in the group already could do that (excluding myself), so it seemed almost unnecessary. One after another, a few people skated forward, most looking like oversized birds in the way they stretched their arms out like wings. I let go of Noodle's arm and slowly skated forward. YES! Ahem..
"Well it looks like everybody can do that, regardless of their skill level.." Norm said, making an obvious stab at my earlier troubles.
I huffed and glared at him, but the gesture had no effect. His fat must have blocked it, the same thing happens with Russel.
"Now is a slightly harder move, skating backwards. I don' expect everyone to be able to do this first try. Stu, do it."
Stuart crouched a bit and made an odd, sort of wiggle-butt move. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing, but I managed.
"As you can see, the main steps in skating backwards is crouching low and moving your hips..."
Once again the group attempted the move, but one guy fell over and bruised his arse. He was complaining so much that his mum (he was thirty, and still had his mum with him... why?) had to haul him off the rink and buy him a mug of cocoa. Skating lesson death toll much?
A little pelvic movement never stopped Murdoc Niccals (ever), and soon I was skating backwards like the best of them. Well... probably not the best, considering Stuart Pot was our co-instructor. Stuart flitted around helping people with their wiggling, and eventually came to me and Noodle. He smiled at Noodle's attempt. She had done it perfectly, but lacked a certain pizzazz.
"W-wow... yew're qui'e good!" he said offhandedly as he came to me.
"Well tanks mate, I di-"
"STUART get back here!" Norm yelled, cutting me off.
Stuart gave me a dejected sigh before re-joining the Norm, who had taken to glaring at me. What was his problem? Did he really like Noodle so much that he felt the need to glare a hole in my head? Sweet Satan people are annoying! I stuck my tongue out at him and waggled it lewdly, which really seemed to freak him out. Noodle scolded me for acting so immature.
"Uh.. anyway, the next skill we are learning is..."
My afternoon progressed painstakingly slow, learning new skills and such. Noodle was pretty much a natural and didn't mess up at all, but didn't really outshine anyone either. I on the other hand, fell a total of four times (twice the class average) and tried my very hardest to annoy Norm and engage Stuart (or Stu, as I learned he preferred to be called) in as much conversation as possible.
Not once did Norm make a move to actually skate. Hadn't he claimed to be the one teaching the lesson?
It was Stu doing all the work, even though he was likely the youngest one there.
Stu who seemed terrified of disappointing Norm.
Stu who was gonna be my singer.
Stu, the fifteen year-old championship title holder.
I couldn't wait 'till the next class.
Well then. Sorry for not updating for a while, I was busy being a person with blue hair. If you read this, do review. C'mon, don't be an arse.
a) Stalk Stu.
b) Egg Norm's house.
c) STEAL THE CREST ON BIRDMAN'S HELMET! (I'm kidding, don't vote for this one.)
Shameless Advertising: Check out my DA account for a rad picture I drew of 2D! My username is Yamsrock.
Thanks to GorillazObsessor for beta-reading this chapter!