Hello everyone! I'm sorry about the late update but I really don't get much time for writing on stories with my university program. I will try to keep up this update rhythm of every month. I hope you will still enjoy this chapter.
I proofread the last chapters and there are probably still some spelling mistakes. Thank you for pointing it out koriandrekitty :)
I'm also sorry if there is any logic mistake. I actually never read the books, so there could be some incoherences.
Also thank you to everyone who reviewed (koriandrekitty, CurLy QueEn SwiRl, Shadowfang, Lady Elizabeth of New York), to everyone who is following this stories and for the two favorites. :D
I will try my best to not let you down! Enjoy the chapter. Feedback is always welcome. ^^
I'm sorry but I have to skip this months chapter. I don't have time because of prep exams. I will do my best for next month's chapter. I'm really sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I don't earn anything through this story.
Chapter 3: A time for everything
"Speech is Silver but Silence is Gold." - Proverb
'I know you will become bitter. I know you will suffer because of him...but I swear, I won't let you die.' She looked into Severus eyes and a small smile appeared on her lips. Severus only raised an eyebrow. 'Because I have always admired you.'
The next morning,Hilary woke up in a bad mood. She was happy to meet up with Lily and Remus after breakfast but she dreaded one special encounter.
The day before, after meeting Severus, she had gone to the Great Hall with him and they had parted ways to go to their respective tables. She had shortly seen Lily and the Marauders. While James and Sirius had glared at her, probably because she had come with Severus, Lily and Remus didn't seem to care and had waved at her. Hilary had waved back with a smile but her smile turned sour when she noticed the earlier missing member of the Marauders, Peter Pettigrew, the cowardly little rat. He was the one who actually betrayed her parents. That simply made her blood boil but she couldn't simply accuse him of something he still hadn't done. She wanted to jump on him and send him to Azkaban right there and then but she had to endure it.
She didn't even want to go out of her bed. She didn't want to meet him. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay calm next to him and even less if she had to talk to him.
"Is something wrong, Hilary?" A tall girl who had emerged from the bathroom asked her. "You are frowning."
"It's nothing, Amelia. I only didn't have enough sleep." Hilary dismissed her question.
The tall girl's name was Amelia Susan Bones. She was one of Hilary's roommates. Hilary had met them yesterday during dinner and had had a wonderful time at dinner. She had nearly forgotten about Pettigrew.
Amelia would later be known as Madame Bones, Susan Bones' aunt and Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Hilary still remembered her well from her time when Harry was put on trial because of underage use of magic. It was weird for Hilary to see her as a young girl her age. She was a really nice girl and Hilary pitied her because of what would happen to her family later on. The Bones family would be annihilated by Voldemort in a few years time. The only survivors would be her and her younger brother, Susan's father, Leon.
"Hurry up, or we are going to be late for breakfast!" Another one of Hilary's roommates rushed them. Her name was Sally Wilson. She was a bubbly girl who could never sit still.
"Don't rush and don't yell like this, Sally. We still have more than enough time." Hilary's third roommate, Aurora Dawson, groaned. She was still lying in her bed and didn't want to stand up any time soon.
All of them had been chatting a long time the day before to get to know each other. Her roommates were quite noisy and loved to ask many questions.
"Come on, Aurora. We have to get up at some time." Hilary chuckled at her roommate's antics.
"Some time is not now, Hilary! Go on without me. I think I will skip breakfast." Aurora grumbled and waved dismissively.
"And what about your schedule, Aurora?" Amelia remarked sternly.
"Sh*t, today is the first day." Aurora swore.
"Yes, my love. You have to wake up now!" Sally giggled in high spirits.
"Don't call me your love, Sally!" Aurora yelled and threw her pillow at Sally who avoided it skillfully. "Oh! But you love it when I call you that. It always gets you out of the bed, see!" The spirited girl pointed out. It was true. Aurora was finally up after throwing the pillow and was glaring daggers at Sally.
"They seem to be really close friends." Hilary remarked as she combed her hair. "Yes, they are childhood friends. They practically grew up as siblings." Amelia commented while drying her hair.
After everyone was up and ready, the four girls went to the Great Hall to take their breakfast. The feast at Hogwarts was still the same as always. It was simply deliciously. Hilary nearly felt at home though she dearly missed her friends already. She wondered how her friends and family were doing. Were they alright? Was the war already over? She was starting to get anxious but she hadn't much time to dwell on it because Professor Sprout came and gave out the time tables. Hilary was quite pleased. She had double class of potion on that morning. It was her favorite subject but then she remembered that she wouldn't have Severus as a professor. If she remembered right Professor Slughorn had been her parents' teacher.
"Bummer, Potion as first class." Sally complained. "You don't like Potions?" Hilary asked curiously. The girl wasn't one to complain usually. It was rather Aurora who complained all the time. "Don't like? You mean rather hate, Hilary!" Sally explained. "I think I never got out of Potion Class without blowing up something." Everyone surrounding her laughed. "Be careful, she is not kidding." Amelia warned Hilary. "But you don't have to worry. Aurora is usually her Potion partner. With blowing up she doesn't only mean the Potion but also Aurora." Amelia joked while Aurora yelled at her. "I heard that, Amelia!"
After breakfast, Hilary met up with Lily and the Marauders. She hugged Lily and Remus while she simply greeted the others. On the same occasion, Lily introduced Pettigrew to her. "Hello Hilary. I wanted to introduce Peter to you. Peter is also part of the Marauders. The Marauders are the prank team consisting of James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. They are quite well-known in Hogwarts." Lily explained. "Even Remus?" Hilary fake reacted to those news and skillfully avoided to introduce herself to Pettigrew. Timid as he was, he didn't dare to speak up. "He is the pacifist and good conscience of the group. Without him they would be unbearable." Lily replied while laughing. Remus on the other hand was embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck.
"Say, you came with Snivellus, yesterday." Sirius asked reproachfully but Hilary wasn't surprised about it. She knew they would confront her about it. "It's Severus, Sirius and yes I came with him yesterday. I think you even saw us or did you lose your eyes and brain since yesterday." Hilary countered maliciously. " Watch what you say!" Sirius warned her. "You have the tongue of a Slytherin, Tolipan." Sirius stressed out her name to highlight his displeasure. "I don't have the tongue of a Slytherin, Black. I only don't like it when someone badmouths my friends." Hilary retorted and stuck her tongue out at him. She knew it was childish but she was her father's daughter after all. She had inherited his childishness.
"Your friend? You are friends with Snivellus?" Sirius laughed at what she said. "What if I am, Black." Hilary was getting irritated. She knew that Sirius and her father didn't get along with Severus but they could at least try to be civil. "You should look out, Hilary." James warned her in a softer tone than Sirius. The future Remus had told her that her father had grown up when he was appointed as Head Boy and had calmed down. "Snape is not someone you want to associate with. He is mean and has a sickly interest in the dark arts."
"I know that already, James. Thanks for warning me but such superficial things don't matter to me." Hilary replied truthfully. "Even though, he is interested in it doesn't mean he will use it in the wrong way. There is much more to a book than its cover." Hilary replied calmly and stared right back in James eyes. Worry could be read in his eyes. He really only meant well. "Well, I'm off to Potions. Are we still going together, Lily, Remus?" She asked looking at the two of them. "Of course." Remus replied as soon as she asked. Lily was hesitant. She didn't like to leave James in a sour mood but she had promised to accompany Hilary to her first class. "I'm coming." Lily answered after some time and gave James an apologizing look.
When they were further away and couldn't hear the boys, Sirius started to complain to his friends. "Know it all! Did you hear what she said James. How dare she reprimand me! She is as sick as Snivellus."
"She reminds me of Lily, Sirius. She is like Lily was before. Lily also always believed in the goodness in Severus." James responded thoughtfully. "Yes, but even the sweet Lily gave up on him during fifth year." Sirius retorted. "Snivellus is a hopeless case."
"That may be true, but she is loyal to her friends like a true Hufflepuff. She shows no doubt and no fear like a Gryffindor. Somehow, I admire those treats..." James trailed off as he was still looking in the direction where their friends took off. "Well, I certainly don't! She's only conceited. She thinks that she knows some people better than they know themselves." Sirius kept on complaining as they took off to their first class.
"Lily is something wrong?" Hilary asked when they were on their way to the Potion class room. The girl had been strangely quiet. "Did you really become friends with Severus, Hilary?" Lily asked intrigued. She had been used to be Severus' only friend until Fifth Year. She knew he didn't make friends easily. "Yes, I had to push a bit but he conceded in the end. He is the first one I met upon arriving at Hogwarts." Hilary explained how her Portkey made her fall on Severus. Both teenagers laughed at her story.
"I don't mean to be mean Hilary but like James said you should probably watch out." Lily said bitterly. "Why, Lily? I thought you wouldn't oppose my friendship with Severus." Hilary asked with fake astonishment. After all, she already knew what happened. "Well, it's personal experience Hilary. I had also been his friend but I have cut all ties after fifth Year." Lily explained to her how he called her mudblood once when she tried to defend him. "Don't you think he might regret it?" Hilary asked knowing very well that Severus regretted it. "He did apologize to me but it has simply been too much for me, Hilary. Maybe you will have more luck." She said with a strained smile. The whole story with Severus still weighed on Lily's mind, maybe she even regretted not making up with him.
Arriving at the classroom, they were greeted by Professor Slughorn who looked surprised at Lily's and Remus' arrival. "Miss Evans, Mister Lupin. I don't remember having class with Seventh Year Gryffindor today." He remarked. "We were only accompanying a friend, Professor Slughorn." Remus explained a bit nervously. He didn't really like Professor Slughorn. "Oh, I see." He said while looking Hilary up and down. "You must be, Miss Tolipan. The Headmaster told us what happened to your father. My condolence." Slughorn said uneasily.
Hilary didn't respond. She didn't need such meaningless pity. Even though, it was only a cover story, she didn't like such people. She knew he only meant well, but his words were void of meaning. Professor Slughorn didn't mind her silence though. He probably mistook it for grieve. Lily and Remus watched each other surprised. They couldn't ask Hilary right now but they noted to themselves that they had to ask her later. "Well, you should go to your class, kids. Class starts in ten minutes." Slughorn remarked and left into his office.
"Well, see you later, Hilary." Lily and Remus bade her farewell. "See you later." Hilary called after them. She left her arm slide down after waving but hesitated for a second. Then, she raised her hand next to her mouth and called after Lily. "Lily!" The called girl turned around and looked at her questioningly. "It's never too late to make up!" She yelled before entering her classroom. A small smile played itself on Lily's lips. She would note that down.
During Potions, Hilary didn't have any problems. She had had Slughorn as Professor during her Fifth Year already. So she already knew his standards. For the first lesson, they had to brew the boils cure potion. It was one of the easiest potions. Slughorn was quite impressed by her work and even asked if she wanted to join his Slughorn Club but she declined politely. However, Slughorn was even more persistent than he was in the future and Hilary had to give in. Sally really blew up her potion in the end. No one knew how she did that. Aurora was only complaining about her ruined make-up and hair. The potion had blown up in both of their faces.
After Potions, they had a double class of Herbology. It wasn't Hilary's forte but she managed somehow, though she was nearly bitten by some strange plant she couldn't identify.
During her two hours of lunch, she joined Lily and the Marauders again. Remus had invited her that morning. Pettigrew was missing again and Hilary feared the worst. Was he already a Death Eater before graduating from Hogwarts?
"So, how was your first school day at Hogwarts?" Lily asked and pulled her out of her somber thoughts. "Well, the day is still not over, Lily, but I had fun, at least at Potions." Hilary told her. "Good at Potions, another Snake trait." Sirius commented. He had been snappy with her since the start. "Shut it, Black. No one asked you for your opinion." Hilary retorted. If he was looking for her, she would respond. She already had to put up with Malfoy in the future. She wouldn't let herself be badmouthed by Sirius. That boy really had to work on his character.
"Sirius, leave it. We shouldn't quarrel during lunch." Lily reprimanded him but Sirius only shot her a glare which was responded by a glare from James. Sirius only huffed. "One girl arrives and our group already falls apart." Sirius complained. " I don't like you, Tolipan." Sirius stated. "I don't care, Black." Was Hilary's sole response. She didn't really dislike him. In the future, she really liked Sirius. He was an awesome Godfather like Remus was. However, she didn't want to stay silent when he bullied poor Severus.
During Hilary's and Sirius' quarrels, Lily was burning to ask Hilary about what happened to her father. Remus was the same but he was better at controlling it. Lily was fiddling with her fingers all the time. However, she knew she couldn't ask her about it there. With her constant quarrels with Sirius, Hilary probably wouldn't want to talk about it with him around. However, she couldn't restrain herself and asked her anyway. "Say, Hilary, what did Professor Slughorn mean this morning?" She asked indirectly. However, it was too indirectly. Hilary didn't know what she meant by that. "What'cha saying? What happened this morning?" She asked completely oblivious.
"Lily is asking about your father, Hilary." Remus translated Lily's question. Hilary's mouth formed an O of surprise. She had completely forgotten Slughorn's meaningless condolence. After all, it was only about her cover story, but sadness still filled her eyes when she looked up at Remus and Remus immediately regretted asking her outright. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." He apologized in a whisper. "You don't have to apologize, Remus, neither do you have to, Lily. It's all right." Hilary exclaimed but tears started to fill her eyes. The fact that Remus was the one who had asked the question was simply the catalyzer.
It was only about her cover story. They weren't asking about her real life. They only wanted to know about her fake American father who disappeared in the US. However, when she looked Remus in the eyes, her thoughts drifted off to his future self, Tonks and Ted. She wondered how all of them were doing. She wondered if they were still alive. She didn't know why, but something was clutching at her heart. Her heart felt really heavy like a foreboding. Would something happen in the future, she didn't know of? Hilary was anxious. She was anxious about the future she was somehow trying to change without really changing it. She didn't know how that could be possible, but Dumbledore assured her that it was possible. She prayed silently that nothing would happen to them. They were her family.
She was surprised when she suddenly felt someone hug her. Lily and Remus were hugging her. She had probably been not responding for a while again. While Lily's hug was tight and comforting, Remus hug was hesitant. He hugged her like she was made of glass and could break any moment but that didn't matter to her. It was soothing to be hugged by both of them, especially Remus. It reminded her so much of her dad.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Hilary." Lily whispered in her ear and rubbed her back. "No, it's all right Lily. At some time, I will have to get over it." Hilary stated and dried her tears. She couldn't believe how much she had cried since arriving.
"I simply love my dad dearly, so it hurts when I think about him." Hilary dried her remaining tears.
"He died didn't he?" Lily asked in a whisper.
"I don't know." Everyone looked surprised at her reply. "How can you not know?" Sirius asked astonished. He had put his animosity aside for the moment. Even he couldn't make fun about something like that and Hilary was grateful for that.
"He disappeared. One day he simply disappeared and never came back. No one knows where he is. Some think he has been killed by You-know-who, while others think he joined them, but I know dad would never join them." Hilary thought Sirius would retort something to it and say, that, being her father, he would surely join but Sirius wasn't a heartless jerk. Hilary knew quite well because she knew the future and a lot more mature Sirius. She was grateful for his silence. No one said anything not even a "I'm sorry" but Hilary could feel through their silence that they really felt for her. Words weren't needed to convey one's feeling.
"Thank you, my friends." Hilary whispered and everyone aside Sirius gave her a hug, even James. James ruffled her hair and smirked at her with the traditional Potter smirk. "Don't mind Sirius, Hilary. Sometimes he simply wakes up on the wrong side. Tomorrow he will be in a better mood." He tried to cheer her up and a tiny smile appeared on her face. "Thank you" She whispered lowly. "I heard that, Potter!" Sirius called outraged and tackled James on the ground but soon both of them were wrestling and laughing together.
A while later, after the boys calmed down, Hilary stood up and dusted herself off. "Well, I'm sorry but I will have to go now. I promised to meet up with Severus later on." Hilary explained when she saw Severus arriving at the corner of her eye. Sirius only snarled but kept his comment for himself for once. "Thank you for having lunch with me. I appreciated it. I hope we can repeat that again." Hilary stated as she gathered her belongings with Remus' help.
"Of course, Hilary. Same time tomorrow?" Lily suggested and Hilary nodded. "With pleasure."
After waving good-bye, she turned around and run up to Severus. He was leaning on a pole and reading a book like always. She wanted to scare him but her steps had been so loud that he already looked up from his book.
"What are you trying, Hilary." He still pressed out her name. Well, she couldn't expect him too change after only one day. "I wanted to surprise you?" She asked innocently. "Your eyes are a bit red. Did you cry again?" He asked with a bit concern which pleased Hilary. He cared after all.
"It's nothing, Severus. I was only reminded of my father." Hilary stated rubbing her eyes a bit to get the redness out but it made it only worse. Severus stiffened at the word father. "Why did you cry because of your father?" He pressed the question out and even more the word father. Hilary looked at Severus strangely. She hadn't missed out on how stiff he sounded when he asked that question. Hilary wondered if he didn't get along with his father and at the same time was reminded of her dad again. Her eyes filled with a bit of sadness again but less than earlier.
"My father went missing…He probably died…" Hilary whispered loud enough for Severus to hear. At first he was silent and then he played with the corner of a side of his book. "I'm…I don't know what to say…" He admitted to be at a loss for words. "You don't have to say anything, Severus. Silence contains sometimes more words than anything else. Let's go the Black Lake and I will tell you more about my father, okay?" Hilary suggested and took Severus hand. Severus took his hand out of hers again but followed nonetheless.
Arriving at the lake, they both sat down next to it and enjoyed the last sunrays of summer. A heavy silence fell upon them and Hilary sighed. "Severus, is it possible to love someone else even more as a father than your real father." She then asked out of the blue. She had been thinking a lot about her father, James, and her dad, Remus. Sometimes, she wondered if her father was disappointed with her for loving Remus more as a father than she did him. Severus, however, only stiffened and balled his hands into fists. "Is something wrong, Severus?" Hilary asked as she noticed that but Severus didn't respond immediately.
"I don't like my father, Hilary." Severus still pressed forcefully out her name and the word father. That statement had completely stunned her. "Why?" She almost whispered. Hilary couldn't understand how one couldn't love his or her father. She had grown up in a loved home. She loved her parents, her dad, her brother, the Weasleys, Hermione, Luna and Alice. She had never felt so much sadness and hate in such a simple statement. However, Severus reminded her a little of her best friend Alice. Alice had once said the same about her mother. What could drive someone to shun his or her own family?
"He simply doesn't like us wizards. He was never able to accept my mother and I." Severus said very lowly. Somehow he didn't really wanted to talk about it but at the same time it simply felt right to confide in her. She seemed like she could understand him. He didn't really understand why but he was really intrigued by that girl. "Is that why you don't like, Muggles?" They were still whispering like they were sharing a big secret. Somehow it seemed inappropriate to talk loudly about it. "Severus, not all the Muggles are the same." Hilary tried to pound some sense in his head. She didn't want him to hate all Muggles only because of his father. "Not all Muggles are the same? Somehow all the Muggles I know are the same!" Severus started to get angry. "They all call us freaks!"
Hilary was reminded of her aunt at that moment. The first time she met her aunt, her aunt only called her a freak and said she didn't have the time and nerve to take care of another freak. She shunned her out of her house immediately and said she never want to see her again. It had hurt her very much, but Remus had told her not to mind it. Somehow, she could understand Severus, but she also knew that there were a lot of friendly muggles like the old muggle and wizard couple that lived in the same apartment complex as her and her dad.
"Muggles are the same as wizards, Severus. We are all humans. There are good and bad Muggles like there are good and bad wizard and never forget that there is also flowing Muggle blood in your veins like in any other halfblood wizard." Hilary smiled at him comfortingly and placed her hand on his. This time, Severus didn't redraw his hand but only counted to ten in his mind and tried to calm down.
After calming down, he looked up in her eyes and sighed. "How do you do that?" He asked without telling much more. "Doing what?" Hilary asked confused. "How are you able to change your mood so often? Sometimes you are laughing with others and then you cry. You become sad, thoughtful and worried and in the end you become all happy again. It's the same as yesterday." He remarked and looked her in her eyes with earnest curiosity.
"I don't really know." She replied with a thoughtful expression. "I think it's simply my philosophy of life." She stated. "Your philosophy of life...?" Severus repeated and urged her to explain.
"There is a time for everything, Severus. There is a time to laugh, a time to weep, a time to mourn, a time to dance, a time to speak and a time to keep silence." Hilary explained truthfully while closing her eyes. "There's a time for everything like there is a time for each season. What counts is that you don't dwell on one of them. If you do, then you don't really live." Snape listened intensely and only nodded. He was again at a loss for words and didn't know what to say but at that moment he only thought that maybe this was a time to keep silence.
Both of them stayed near the lake and enjoyed their time together in silence.