Just a drabble fic based on a some fan art I saw. Enjoy!
Felix peeked his eyes open for a brief second and then immediately shut them, his arms crossed protectively over his chest.
"I can't do it," he said, wondering why he even agreed to try in the first place.
"Come on, you're doing good so far," he heard Ralph assure him from somewhere above and to the right of him.
Felix breathed in deeply and opened his eyes again slowly, this time making them stay open. The creature before him stared blankly back, its beady black eyes boring deep into his own innocent blue ones. It felt like it was searching his soul, as if it knew his fear. The handyman shuddered and shut his eyes again.
"Can we please forget I said anything?" the handyman begged, his knees shaking like jello underneath him.
"Felix, you're not a quitter," Ralph said firmly. "Now open your eyes and hold your hand out."
He bit his lip and shook his head in protest. He heard Ralph sigh before saying, "Okay, guess we'll have to explain to Calhoun why you don't like taking walks in your own game."
"Okay okay!" Felix shouted, not wanting that to happen at all. He wasn't sure how she'd react to a husband that was afraid of…those. "I'll do it, just…give me minute."
"We've already been here for fifteen," the wrecker pointed out, trying not to lose his patience. "It's now or never!"
Gulping hard, Felix cracked his eyes open again to see the creature still standing in front of him. For a few seconds, that was all it did. Then, it stretched out its wings to their full span, making itself appear larger than it was and began to flap them in place.
Felix squealed back in terror but he was blocked by one of Ralph's huge palms, preventing him from a quick escape. The evil winged beast folded its wings back down and waddled a few steps towards him. Terrified, Felix let out a shriek and jumped up to grab onto Ralph's arm, wrapping himself tightly around his bicep.
"It wants to attack me!"
"No, it doesn't!" Ralph insisted. "It just wants some bread."
To prove it, the wrecker pulled a pinch of the loaf of bread he had with him and threw off to the side of the despicable fowl. It immediately chased after it and gobbled it down hungrily. Felix imagined if it would eat him in a certain way should it get the chance and he felt his stomach retch.
"Whoa, don't do that on me!" cried Ralph, picking Felix up off him and placing him back on the ground, only for him to scurry behind Ralph's large frame to hide.
"It's no use," Felix sighed shakily, holding his hand to his stomach to settle it. "I can't even look at one without being petrified much less feed one."
Ralph turned around so he could face his friend. "No one else seems to have this problem but you."
"Yes, but they try to," he gulped, "kill me."
"What's trying to kill you?" he heard Calhoun ask behind him.
Felix hopped from fright, spinning around to see his wife looking particularly angry. "Is someone trying to hurt you?" she rephrased the question. "Point them out, I'll show them what fear eats for breakfast."
Ralph started laughing, much to Felix's dismay. He took off his hat out of habit and fiddled with it, avoiding his brave soldier wife's eyes. Calhoun gave Ralph an aggravated look.
"I see nothing funny about this, Wreck-It," she growled.
Ralph continued to laugh and wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh man, I'm outta here!" he announced, waving his arms at the two of them and walked off, chuckling the entire time. "You two have fun!"
"What's his problem?" Calhoun wanted to know, placing her hands on her hips angrily.
"Oh, it's nothing, Tammy," Felix answered her sweetly, the honeyglows becoming more evident in his cheeks. "We were just…goofing around, you know." He laughed nervously, tugging at his shirt collar and putting his hat back on.
That was when it happened. The terrifying feathered beast of his nightmares came up behind him and very loudly-
His eyes got huge and he screamed, jumping ten feet in the air and leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. He gripped for dear life onto the top of a lamppost that they were situated next to, shaking like a leaf. The unmistakable sound of Calhoun laughing was enough to make him want to turn invisible forever.
"Oh man, you-you should've seen your fa-ace!" she managed to spit out, slapping her knee in her amusement. "That was priceless!"
Felix's face turned even redder. The duck quacked some more as it waddled around the base of the post, as if waiting for him to come down so it could torture him some more. The handyman gripped his arms and legs tighter around the pole, obviously petrified.
Calhoun finally wiped the tears from her eyes, her laughter going down into chuckles, and she looked up and saw the fear that was evident on her husband's face. Her smile fell slowly and she glanced back and forth between him and the duck. It finally registered what was going on.
"Oh of course," she muttered to herself as she ran a hand through her bangs, feeling bad about laughing now. "I should have already known that."
The sergeant shooed the pesky bird away, making it fly off in the distance and waved for Felix to come down. Felix slid down and hopped onto the ground, looking rather embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, Tammy," he said rapidly, looking down at his boots, scuffing the tip of one in the grass. "I can't help it. They attack me during the game, hitting me in the chest and knocking me off the building and—"
Calhoun got down on one knee to be at his level and held his chin up gently, a small smile present on her face. "I understand, short stack. It's not a big deal."
He blinked in disbelief. "But…but…you're so brave," he started, widening his arms in front of him to measure out just how brave. "You go around shooting all those big scary monstrous bugs every day that can really eat you; I'm someone scared of what most people think are cute."
He said the word as if he couldn't comprehend why anyone would ever think that about a…you-know-what. Calhoun started laughing, finding the whole situation adorable, and pulled him into a hug and then held him out to kiss him.
"Felix, it doesn't matter if it's a Cy-Bug, a duck, a werewolf, or a paper daisy," she told him as she looked into his eyes. "If something attacks you like that on a regular basis, it's only natural to be scared of it. If anything, I'm sorry I laughed. I of all people should have guessed already that you had a duck phobia."
"So it doesn't bother you?"
"Heck no," she said as she put his feet back on the ground. "This just makes something else we have in common. We both climb big tall buildings every day at work and get assaulted. Only difference is I deal with bugs and you deal with falling bricks and…" she had to stifle a laugh, "ducks."
Felix finally cracked a smile. "My lands, you're right. I never even noticed that similarity."
He hopped up to kiss her cheek. "Thanks, hon."
"You can thank me by buying me a drink," Calhoun told him playfully as they held hands and walked over to the transportation karts that led to the Grand Central Station. She tried to hold back another chuckle but it didn't quite work.
Felix craned his head up at her in a curious manner. "What's so funny?"
"I'm just thinking about Wreck-It imagining me spitting bullets into a flock of unsuspecting ducks!"