As always I own nothing! I'm not sure how this is going to do since I'm short a computer and trying to do this on an iPhone, gonna keep my fingers crossed. Very, very fluffy,if you don't like probably not a good place to be.
The first thing Red noticed as she made her way into the diner to start her shift was her best friend, Snow White, sitting at a table toward the back looking lost. With a quick glance around the room she decided that all the customers had been dealt with and this was the perfect time to see what was bothering her friend.
"Okay out with it." Red said taking the chair opposite Snow.
"Oh Red, how are you?" Snow answered plastering on a fake smile.
"I'm good Snow, but I want to know what's wrong with you."
"I'm not really sure, I mean I know why James is upset with me but it's Emma I don't understand. I thought we were making progress, but for the last week she's been avoiding me and when I manage to track her down I get short answers and excuses as to why she has to leave."
Reaching across the table Red takes her hand as a tear rolls down Snow's cheek. "Maybe you're reading too much into this Snow, she's had to adjust to a lot of changes in her life and perhaps she's trying to figure out these new roles she's been cast into."
"I know my daughter Red, it's me that she has a problem with, she's fine around Henry and even James, she's spending time with him and I'm proud for him I am but I miss my daughter."
"Then the person you need to be talking to is Emma, look I know how she is but Snow I've known you for a long time and whatever is going on I know you can get through to her. You're her mother and Snow, if I know one thing that girl loves you, she loved you before she knew who you were and that hasn't changed. Now get out of here and go tie her down and make her talk to you." Red smiled at her friend as she stood up from the table.
"Thanks Red, I don't know what I'd do without you."
I'm anxiously awaiting Emma's arrival knowing full well she's not going to be happy with me for tricking her into coming home but oh well I can't keep going like this. I've just sat down when I hear the key in the door, taking a deep breath I turn to face my daughter.
"Mary Margaret, where's David, he called and asked me to meet him here." She's searching the room looking for anyone that's not me.
"He's not here Emma, please don't be mad at him I asked him to call you." I answer moving closer to the door so she doesn't bolt the minute she realizes what's going on.
"Why?" She ask walls up.
"Because we need to talk and you wouldn't have come if I asked you to." I can see it in her eyes as soon as she understands the reason she's here followed by anger and there's something else there too but its gone before I can figure out what it was.
"Mary Margaret, I have to go back to work, can this wait?"
"No Emma it can't, your father is at the station and he's going to pick Henry up at the bus stop after school so you're free to spend the day with me." I say smiling sweetly but with conviction so she realizes that I'm giving her no choice.
"Fine, what would you like to talk about?" She's cautiously ask, crossing her arms.
"Why are you upset with me, what have I done?" There I did it, I ask quickly so I don't lose my nerve.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She answers just as quickly eyeing me and the door and I know she's trying to decide if she can make it but she's also wondering if I'd really stop her from leaving.
"I know what your thinking and the answer is yes, if I have to stand in front of this door all day and all night I will but what I won't do is I won't let us keep going like this, I love you too much to lose you again. Now please Emma talk to me, why are you avoiding me?" I know my question sounds almost as if I'm begging but I don't care.
"You really want to know?" She sounds so calm but yet there's a storm brewing, I can feel it and I'm almost scared to say yes but I have to know.
"Yes." That one word it's all I can manage but I look her straight in the eyes as I say it.
"I was in the system long enough to know the signs, I know when I'm no longer wanted so I'm bowing out graciously." I stand there with my mouth open, then closed, then opened again, the words are not coming, I'm completely lost but I have to pull it together and fast.
"Emma," I say moving closer to her but stop when I notice she is taking a step back for every step I take. "Oh sweetheart, where did you ever come up with that?"
"From you, you keep saying how much you wanted me, that you love me, that you jumped through that hat to be with me but..." she trails off and there it is again, that look in her eyes and I realize that it's fear but I have to push a little more because shes closed up again.
"But what Emma?" I can feel my eyes tearing as I see not only fear but hurt and I know that somehow I caused it.
"But as soon as we're home, you want to move out, start fresh and don't think I don't know what that means. I can't even say that I blame you, you and David you deserve it, I'm not family material and I come with a lot of baggage, you guys you can have a baby and he or she can grow up normally with parents that love it. It's to late for me, I can understand why you'd want a do over and I won't stand in your way." What the hell was I thinking when I suggested we move out, how could I not see it was to soon, that we need to be together, that my daughter has years of pain and hurt from the rejection that I started when I sent her away even if it was for her own safety.
"Oh my God Emma, no honey, that's not what I was trying to do. I love you so much, you are perfect exactly the way you are and I wouldn't trade you for anything." I have no clue as to whether I'm making things better or worse but oh God, what have I done?
"Perfect huh? If I was perfect why would my first foster family give me back after three years, because they upgraded, had a kid of their own. Why at five would my foster mother break my hand for trying to get a cookie out of the cookie jar? Why at seven would I be hospitalized with multiple broken bones when my foster father used me as a punching bag? Why Mary Margaret why at twelve did my foster brothers take turns raping me every night for weeks until I couldn't take it anymore and tried to kill myself? Why did I fail and end up in a group home where the director liked girls my age and even loaned me out to a few of his buddies? Why did I fall in love with a bastard that not only got me sent to jail for his crimes but left me pregnant with a baby that I so desperately loved but couldn't keep? Please explain to me how that is a life of a perfect daughter? Trust me, you can do better, you should have better." I broke her, my baby is a crumbled mess and I did it, I pushed her to the brink now I have to make it right and help pick up the pieces. I go to her and pull her into my arms and hold on as tight as I can, she fights at first but she's too exhausted to fight for long and she finally relaxes into the embrace and I lower us to the floor and I hold her as we both cry for what could have been hours but I would stay here for days if she needed me to.
"I'm sorry, you didn't need to know all that." She says pulling back, looking down at the floor.
"Yeah Emma I did, but more importantly you needed to say it. Now there's some things that I need to say as well, can you just listen to me?" I ask carefully because my girl is fragile and I don't want to do this the wrong way.
"I guess I owe you that much since I just unloaded on you."
"Thank you, first off about the moving out, I only suggested it because this apartment is too small for us all and I wanted to ask you and Henry to move but I didn't know how you would feel about it, I did not want you to feel pressured. I love having you live with me, I love every minute of every day when you're with me, I love you Emma. I need you to understand that I love you, that having you back in my life makes me feel complete." I see that she's listening intently to every word I say, I can only hope that she believes it. I take a deep breath before I continue because the rest of what I say is going to help or hinder but it has to be said.
"Ok then, all those things that you just told me, we will discuss each and every one of them and if there's anything you left out I'd like to hear them too. I know it's hard, and I know it hurts but baby you need to get it all out. I want you to know that I am so sorry..."
"No, you have nothing..."
"My turn Emma remember, and yes I do, I have plenty to be sorry for, no matter who's fault it is, I was the one that made the choice to put you in the wardrobe. I'm not sorry I made the decision I did, I chose your life and I cannot be sorry for that but I am so sorry for not being with you, for every bump, break or scrape, for all that you went through I am sorry." I feel myself losing it and I quickly pull myself together for Emma.
"No matter what you believe, you will always be perfect in my eyes, your my girl and that my dear will never change. Your first foster family have no clue what they missed out on because you have grown into an amazing woman whom I'm very proud of. The woman that broke your hand, I would really love to lock her in a room and have a chat with her but Emma you have to know none of that was your fault. You were a child, the adults in your life failed you, you didn't fail them. The same can be said for the monster that thought it would be ok to put you in the hospital, Emma that was not ok!" Here comes the hard part because I can feel the anger welling up inside and I want to hit something but I can't, I have to play it calm or she'll close up and not hear anything else I say.
"The bastards that raped you Emma, there is a special place in hell for them and they better hope they get there before I get my hands on them because I promise you they will beg for death." I stop and take a breath as the anger I just vowed to control came out anyways but Emma she's still listening so maybe she needed to hear that too. "But sweetheart that wasn't your fault either, there are some evil people in this world and if you don't listen to anything else I say, you have got to listen to me when I tell you it was nothing you did, can you please do that?" She nods and I can see that's all I'm going to get from her for now but this is a subject that we will revisit.
"So this man that sent you to jail is Henry's father, I can understand why you didn't tell him the truth about him, don't worry I'm not going to say anything to him. I can tell that you loved him and I am sorry that he was another in a long line of people that failed you but Em you made it. You rose above all of it and became you, you showed them all."
"Look at me baby," I say turning her chin toward my face, "I can understand why you thought you had no one, why you would want to escape so much that you'd try to end it all but you're not alone anymore and you won't ever be again. I'm so glad that you didn't succeed but Em so help me if you ever try it again, you will not leave me do you understand me?" Again all I get is a nod but I want more, I need to hear her say it. "Emma, I need you to tell me, tell me that you will never try that again."
"I promise Mary...mom, I promise." She called me mom, my heart feels like it could beat clear out of my chest, it's amazing how that three letter word could cause all these emotions to overload. Once again I take her in my arms and hold her, never wanting to let go.
"Ok sweetie, how bout we get off this floor and find somewhere more comfortable to sit." We make our way over to the couch and I'm surprised but thankful when my daughter lays her head down in my lap, and as I run my fingers through her hair I find that I am just as thankful for my mess up, for not asking her to move with us because this misunderstanding has gave me a chance to be a mother.
Hope y'all enjoyed it, I'm not sure what happened but it went I several ways that I had not intended, I was just shocked that Snow was the one to suggest them moving out.