Chapter 1

June 1967

Jack had his back turned to Ennis as he got the tent set up. He was hurt and a little angry that Ennis had refused his suggestion of them living together, and the worst part was knowing that Ennis was right; their lives might not be much right now, but it was safe.

He couldn't quite believe the horrors that Ennis had seen as a young child, and he had to admit that it made sense why Ennis was so scared of someone finding out about them. He didn't want to end up like that, and neither did Jack. But neither of them could deny that they wanted this; to be together more often. They had only just found each other again after four long years, and they would simply have to make the most of the time they had.

Jack heard footsteps behind him, and paused when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Bud...look at me." He turned and met Ennis's deep brown eyes, so warm and full of concern. Jack hoped that Ennis knew how he felt about him, and that he felt the same. "Sure am sorry about before. Ain't nothin' we can do..."

He nodded and tore his eyes away. "I know. You got yer life here, I got mine down in Texas. How the dice rolled, I guess."

"Right. You okay?" Ennis asked him, seeing that Jack had gotten a lot quieter after their argument earlier. Jack nodded again.

"Yeah, fine." He looked up into Ennis's face and sighed. " wanna get in?"

"Sure." They turned towards the tent and Jack crawled in first, knowing that Ennis would be looking at his ass. No matter how many times Ennis might tell himself that he wasn't "like that", it was clear that he was attracted to Jack.

When they were in the tent, they slowly removed their clothes while casting glances at each other. Both could feel a familiar burning inside them; a need to physically connect with each other and sate their desires. A shiver ran through Jack at the thought. Now naked, Ennis's eyes were roaming Jack's body and it was obvious that he liked what he saw.

"You wanna?" Jack breathed, his need for Ennis burning out his anger. He couldn't deny Ennis this when he wanted it so badly himself. Ennis didn't respond, but he put a hand on Jack's warm shoulder and boldly leaned in, pressing their lips together. Jack's eyes slid shut and he sighed, arousal flowing through him once more. Last night at the Siesta had been the best night of his life, and he still couldn't count how many times they'd done it. It had turned into a blur of skin and muscles and come and lube, and he remembered feeling dizzy afterwards from the many times he'd shot. Neither of them could ever get enough, and he knew that this thing had a hold on them both.

They pulled apart and Ennis's eyes were growing dark with lust; a sure sign. Ennis then started pressing his hand firmly to Jack's body and nuzzling at him. Jack knew this was a silent request for him to turn over; Ennis still had issues with doing it face to face. Sometimes they did it that way, and they had done so upon their arrival to the motel the night before, but it seemed easier for Ennis if he didn't see Jack's face. This bothered Jack, for Ennis had kissed him on the mouth many times, but he did as he was asked.

When he was on his stomach, he felt Ennis move over and straddle him from behind, running his hands along Jack's back and feeling the muscles there. Jack appreciated it when Ennis touched him; it helped him to believe that it wasn't just sex. They meant something to each other.

"Mmm," he sighed, enjoying the massage. Ennis smiled a little and kissed the back of his neck.

"Wanna do it, Jack...can we?"

"Yeah..." Jack rose up onto his knees and he heard Ennis opening the lube. After a few moments, he felt Ennis start to penetrate him. "Jesus..."

"You alright?" came a soft whisper near his ear, and he nodded, gasping a little.

"Yeah, go on..." Ennis pushed into him and held him steady around the waist, starting to thrust deeply and slowly. Jack's head fell and his eyes closed. "Oh..."

"Feels damn good, darlin'," Ennis breathed, repeating the endearment that he'd whispered to Jack yesterday, at the stairwell. They moved together slowly until Jack could feel himself starting to leak, and he wished that Ennis would touch him and give him the release he needed.

As if he'd read Jack's mind, Ennis snaked his hand down and took hold of him, jerking him off and thrusting into him until he was coming. A deep groan was heard in the tent and Jack soon followed, spilling onto the bedroll and shuddering all over. He collapsed onto his front and Ennis fell on top of him, breathing deeply.

"Oh, darlin'," he breathed, tongue loose from his orgasm. Jack had found that Ennis talked with less reserve after having sex. Perhaps he was too worn out to care about what he was saying.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, smiling to himself. It had been good, but he would never stop wishing that Ennis could be secure enough to do this face to face more often. He loved Ennis and wanted to show him, and he hoped that the day would come when they could cast away their fear and live how their hearts wanted.

Ennis rolled off him and they got into the bedroll, shivering now. Jack looked at Ennis in the darkness, and shuffled over to keep warm. Ennis instinctively put an arm around him and closed his eyes; at least here he could show Jack some affection. Even if this was all they could ever have, he was happy. They would just have to make the best of it.