Chapter 17

February 1973

There was only a few days left until Valentine's, and the two cowboys were having an early celebration in the tent. They wouldn't be together on the day, but they would certainly be thinking of each other.

Neither of them had brought up the conversation that took place on their previous trip, and they had silently agreed not to discuss it. Both of them knew that no matter how much they wanted to be together for real, it was simply too risky and at least one of them could get hurt. Jack privately thought that it was worth the risk, but he didn't dare bring it up again; it simply made Ennis too uncomfortable.

He tried not to think about it as Ennis pressed closer to him, face buried in his neck as they rubbed their hips together. He at least knew that Ennis did want to live with him and would do it if things were different; that was something to hold on to. He was also certain that Ennis loved him, just from the way that Ennis showed him.

"God, Ennis," he breathed, wrapping his arms more securely around his lover's neck. Shockwaves travelled through him every time he felt Ennis's erection rubbing against his, and he thought he'd be able to come from that alone. "Love what yer doin' there..."

"Mmm..." Ennis pulled his head up and kissed Jack on the mouth, finding his tongue. "You feel damn good, darlin'."

"Can we try somethin'?" Jack asked between kisses, thinking about what he'd wanted to do for a while. The thought had come to him while dreaming about Ennis, and he wanted to know what it was like for real.

Ennis paused, looking curiously at him. "Sure...what d'you have in mind?"

"Well...I dunno if it has a name, but..." He cleared his throat. "One of us turns onto our stomach, an' the other...sticks their tongue down there." His cheeks reddened. "I mean, we don't hafta do that...if you don't feel okay with it."

"Huh..." Ennis thought about the notion, and he couldn't deny that the idea was very appealing. "Where'd you get that from?"

"Was dreamin' about you a while back, down in Texas," Jack replied, twirling one of Ennis's curls around his finger. "You was doin' that to me...wondered what it'd be like."

"Alright then," Ennis replied, nuzzling him. "If that's what you want...let's give it a shot." Jack grinned and started to turn over, kissing his lover before going all the way. Ennis straddled him and kissed the back of his neck, then his shoulders. "Just relax, darlin'."

Jack shivered with anticipation and he had to lift his hips to ease the pressure in his crotch. It wouldn't take him long to explode onto the bedroll before him, but he was looking forward to this.

Ennis slowly kissed his way down Jack's back, pausing now and then to stroke the soft skin. He'd always loved feeling Jack's muscles, ever since their second night together on Brokeback. Jack had more of them now, and they drove Ennis crazy with lust.

When he reached Jack's ass, he took a moment to prepare himself for what he was about to do. He'd never done anything like this before; it was very different from going down on Jack. This was a very intimate place, and he wanted to make Jack feel good. He leaned down and cupped Jack's ass with his hands, spreading the cheeks apart and hearing Jack sigh. Knowing he was on the right track, he tentatively poked his tongue out and made his move.

Jack let out a gasp when Ennis penetrated him; this was very unlike when Ennis fucked him. His tongue was wet and warm, and Jack thought his head would explode when he felt Ennis moving around back there. "Oh, fuck!"

"This good?" Ennis teased him as he took a moment to breathe. Jack nodded.

"Uh huh..." He started bucking and shaking, unable to control himself as his orgasm drew closer. Ennis had one hand on himself, and then reached through Jack's legs with his other to take him in hand. Jack couldn't help but let out a moan. "Ennis...oh, God..."

All it took was a few more strokes, and they came at the same time. Jack didn't think he'd ever shot so much in one go, and he immediately collapsed to the bedroll when it was over. "Holy fuck..."

Ennis, who was still light-headed and dizzy, crawled off Jack and lay beside him. His tongue felt strange after that, but not in an unpleasant way. As unusual as it was for him to do something like that, he found that he'd enjoyed it. Jack had clearly had a good time, and the smile on his face told Ennis that he was very happy with his efforts.

"You okay?" he murmured, touching Jack's face. Jack nodded, happy that Ennis was so concerned about his well-being.

"I'm great, cowboy. That was...somethin' else." He shuffled over and curled up next to his lover, feeling well taken care of. "Mmm...think I need some shut-eye after that."

Ennis smiled and put an arm around him, gently rubbing his back. "Go on, darlin'. I'm right here." He kissed Jack's forehead and watched as the blue eyes closed, his heart bursting with the love he felt for this man. It ate into him that this couldn't be more permanent; that people would hurt them just for this. He knew he loved Jack, and that Jack loved him. If things were different, then he would be able to tell Jack that he only wanted to be with him.

"Night, darlin'," he whispered, watching Jack's face as he slept. Sadness crept into him and he too closed his eyes, wishing that when he woke up, the world would have changed and they could be together. It was the same thing he wished for every time he went to sleep, but things never changed. He was starting to lose the belief that they ever would.