Chapter 3

February 1968

It was just after Valentine's Day, and the two men were on another trip together. They had thought of each other on the day, wondering what they were doing and if one day they might be able to spend it out here, or even in a home of their own.

Ennis did want to live with Jack, and he knew deep down that it really could be a sweet life. But he was still scared by what he'd seen as a child, and was fearful that the same would happen to Jack if they got together and somebody found out. He tried to make this trip special to make up for it.

While Jack was zipping himself up after relieving himself, Ennis crept up behind him and slid his arms around Jack's waist, pulling him close. Jack looked down at the arms around him and smiled. "Hey, what's this?"

"Missed you the other day," Ennis whispered in his ear, shaking with nerves at opening up like this. "You know..." It was the closest he'd ever come to telling Jack that he loved him, and he wished that he could say the words.

Jack turned in his arms and put his own around Ennis's neck. "Missed you too. Tried to be happy with Lureen, but...kept thinkin' 'bout you. Couldn't help it." He planted a kiss on Ennis's lips and then moved in close, hugging him with his eyes closed. They swayed a little as they held on, glad to be back together after the cold winter months. This was what they looked forward to, even more than the sex.

After a while, Jack pulled his face away and nuzzled their noses together. "Well...maybe we can have our own celebration out here. What d'you say, cowboy?"

"Sounds good," Ennis replied, eyes roaming over Jack's face. He still couldn't believe that somebody this good-looking would be interested in him, and he figured he might never understand it. He would never see in himself what Jack was attracted to, but he was learning to accept that it was true. When they had sex, it was because they wanted to.

They kissed again and Ennis's hands slid down to cup Jack's ass, and he felt Jack grin against his lips. "You up to somethin', Del Mar?" he mumbled. Ennis gave him a squeeze.

"Maybe..." He started steering Jack backwards towards the tent, feeling himself growing harder by the second. He wanted Jack right now, and when this happened neither of them could wait. " drive me fuckin' crazy," he breathed, hands roaming. Jack kissed his neck.

"Come on..." They crawled into the tent and resumed their kissing, hands tugging at clothes until they were off, strewn about the tent. Jack let out a gasp and his hips bucked. "Ennis...come on..." They were soon naked and Ennis was leaning over Jack, settled between his legs. Fire was burning in both of them and they were painfully hard.

"You want it, rodeo?" he whispered, and Jack nodded.

"Fuck me," he breathed, and Ennis fumbled around for the lube. He found it and quickly smoothed it over himself, and then pushed Jack's legs up to his chest. He started working his way inside, biting his lip as he focused. Jack let out a low moan. "Oh, God..."

Ennis took Jack's hands and held them above his head, staring into his eyes. "You ready, bud?" Jack nodded again and Ennis started to move inside him, taking it slowly and savouring every second. Jack was always so warm and welcoming, and Ennis knew he would never tire of this. While he did love being with Jack and just sitting around with him, this was what he looked forward to the most. It allowed him to just forget everything that was expected of him and let go, and he felt safe to do so with Jack.

"God, you're good at this," Jack choked out as Ennis drove deeper, his eyes scrunching up. "So fuckin' good..."

" feel good, darlin'," Ennis managed to reply, dropping his face to Jack's neck and breathing in his scent. Jack was very masculine, and Ennis could no longer deny that he was doing this with a man. While it scared him up on Brokeback, to the point where he had to take Jack from behind every time, it seemed less scary now. They were up here where nobody knew what they were doing, and he felt safe as long as it was just the two of them.

He lifted his face and kissed Jack once more, plunging his tongue deep inside Jack's mouth and feeling his lover moan in response. He moved faster, pushing his hips forward until Jack started shaking; a sure sign he was very close. The orgasms they had while together were unlike anything else they'd ever experienced, and they wanted each one to last forever.

When they were done and had collapsed together, Jack kissed the side of Ennis's face and stroked his hair. He loved showing affection to Ennis and didn't care if it was a feminine thing. He loved this man and wanted to show him even if he couldn't tell him. Ennis meant so much more to him than just a fuck buddy, and he hoped that one day they could be together for real. He would keep on hoping for that, and not push Ennis into making a decision. Jack knew that if it was going to happen, he had to step back and let Ennis decide for himself.

"That was good," he said softly, running a hand down Ennis's back. Ennis nodded.

"Sure was. Hope it made up not bein' together the other day." He held onto Jack a little tighter, the emotions inside him filling him up and scaring him slightly. "Thought 'bout' missed you."

"I know, me too. But we're here now...that's all that matters." They fell silent within the tent, thinking about what they wanted and how on earth it could ever be theirs.