Chapter 41

October 1981

It was just a few days before Jack's birthday, and he was lying on his back in the tent while Ennis was lavishing attention on him, his head between Jack's legs. Jack had his eyes closed in sheer pleasure, loving the feeling of Ennis's warm mouth on him. Ennis used to have such trouble with things like this, when they started up on Brokeback, and Jack knew why. He'd always denied being queer, and this was not something that he'd envisioned himself doing.

Still, Ennis was a lot better at this now. He'd acquired some skill from years of practice, and he could always make Jack feel good. Right now, Jack just needed to forget everything going on in Texas and just focus on this man.

"Feels so fuckin' good," he groaned, lifting his hips slightly as Ennis rubbed his lower stomach. "You sure are good at this, cowboy..."

Ennis let go of him and made sure to get some air. "Like makin' you feel good, Jack," he replied with a grin on his face. Jack smiled at him, seeing shades of how they used to be before things turned so bad. There was a time when they were so young and carefree that he missed now, so he was glad to see a little part of it these days. He stroked the back of Ennis's head and nudged his head down. Ennis got the message and went back to work, wrapping his lips around Jack and tasting the pre-come as Jack neared the edge.

"Oh God," Jack groaned as he bucked his hips. He tried not to choke Ennis, but he couldn't stay still when his lover was doing this to him. He exploded into Ennis's mouth with a yell, shooting into the warm cavern and down Ennis's throat. Ennis kept swallowing as Jack rode it out, feeling his own come spilling onto the bedroll without even touching himself. It wasn't often he could do that these days.

Jack went limp and collapsed back to the bedroll, sighing and feeling a little dizzy. Ennis just knew exactly what to do with his body to drive him crazy, and he was very grateful for it. He knew that if they were together, they could have sex more often and might even discover new ways of pleasing each other if they had the time. But as it was, there wasn't much variety to what they did.

"That was somethin' else, Ennis...come up here..." Ennis crawled back up and lay on Jack's chest, still tasting Jack on his tongue. He could remember a time when the thought of swallowing had made him nervous and unsure of himself; he'd worried that it would make him sick, which would make Jack feel bad. Thankfully, he'd always liked the taste and he got a good feeling from doing it for Jack. He also had a good time himself from performing oral; Jack just felt so good in his mouth.

"You like that, bud?" he murmured, running a hand over Jack's chest and appreciating what he found. Jack had put on some weight over the last few years (probably a result of such good living down in Texas), but Ennis didn't mind so much. He was still good-looking and Ennis was still attracted to him, so it didn't really matter.

Jack didn't tell Ennis, but part of the reason why he'd decided to grow a moustache and put on weight was to see whether or not Ennis would still want him if he looked more masculine. It was a test; he wanted to know if Ennis would still touch him and kiss him if any illusions were shattered. This way, he could be left in no doubt that he was here with a man and Jack wanted to know Ennis's reaction to that. It seemed to him that Ennis hadn't cared too much; he was still loving and attentive in his own way, and didn't recoil when his lips brushed against the moustache. They'd actually found that Jack's oral skills improved when he went down on Ennis; the moustache would tickle Ennis and that had even more of an effect on him than usual.

"You doin' okay?" Ennis asked softly, and Jack nodded, running his hands through Ennis's hair.

"Just fine, cowboy. You know I like it when you suck me off. Always feels good..." He smiled and wrapped his arms around Ennis's middle, lacing his fingers together. "I like bein' here with you close to my's like I'm gettin' an extra birthday present." He smiled when he saw Ennis's cheeks reddening, and kissed his lover's forehead. "Like when it's nearly your birthday or Christmas..."

"Yeah," Ennis replied, kissing Jack's chest. He liked showing affection towards Jack, and he knew that it was appreciated, but it was still an effort for someone like him. He'd never seen much affection in his life before meeting Jack, and this man had changed everything. Jack had changed him, and he was grateful for it. He just wished that they could spend more time together; who knew what else would change if they could be together all the time? Who might he become if he allowed Jack the time to work on him and get him to open up more? It was a scary prospect, but part of it was very appealing.

He closed off those thoughts before they could influence him; it was too dangerous to be thinking like that. Here, they were safe and nothing could hurt them. Even if they could change each other by being together, they could also get hurt or killed. He knew deep down that it was worth the risk, but he just couldn't stand to lose Jack and didn't know what he would do if that happened.

What's he thinkin' about there? Jack thought to himself, watching Ennis's face as he lay on his chest. Wonder if he's thinkin' about sayin' yes...good luck with that one, Twist. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes, wondering if he was right.