Chapter 7

September 1969

Ennis's birthday was on Friday, but he'd already promised Alma that he would be back for it. As a result, he'd had to cut this trip with Jack a day short, which felt like a lifetime. He wanted to spend the day with his best friend and lover, and it ate into his heart that he couldn't.

He awoke on the morning of their last day to feel a pair of familiar lips wrapped around him down below, and he gave a dozy grin. Jack was clearly making the most of the time they had left out here. "Jesus, Jack."

The lips left him and Jack's head popped up under the sheets. "Hey, cowboy. Just...thought I'd give you an early birthday present. You like it?"

"Mmm, sure do..." Ennis agreed, and then he was overcome with desire. He knew what he wanted. "But, um...I, uh..."

"What?" Jack asked, pausing. He liked it when Ennis verbalised what he wanted to do; it was a sign that he was relaxed and that was always a good thing. "What d'you want, bud?" He gently rubbed Ennis's stomach, and Ennis swallowed.

"I...I wanna..." He bit his lip; Jack had never fucked him before. In the two years they'd been meeting up, he'd thought of it often. But he'd never had the guts to actually ask Jack to do it; he'd always been scared of the pain, not to mention the feeling that he would be less of a man if he did it. But he fucked Jack on a regular basis on these trips, and Jack never complained. Maybe there was something enjoyable about it after all.

Jack moved closer, slowly. He had a feeling what Ennis was asking for, and he was happy for them to do it, but he wanted Ennis to be sure. "Are you askin' me...to fuck you?" he said softly, and Ennis nodded mutely. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ennis finally breathed out. "Yeah, Jack..."

"Okay," Jack replied, nodding. He had wanted to do this for a while, but had never asked because he hadn't been sure how Ennis might react. But if it was what Ennis wanted, then Jack would give it to him. He'd give him anything.

He straddled Ennis and kissed him, knowing he had to take this slowly. The last thing he wanted was to hurt or scare Ennis so badly that he rejected him. "Shh...just relax," he whispered, their noses touching. "It's alright...I ain't gonna hurt you..."

"I know," Ennis choked out, trying to steady his heartbeat. "Just...go slow, okay?"

"I will, don't worry." Jack kissed him again and grabbed the lube, smoothing it over himself and settling between Ennis's legs. "Just breathe, cowboy...gonna be good."

He put some lube on his fingers and slowly inserted one, knowing that he had to prepare Ennis for the feeling of penetration. Ennis's eyes widened as he felt Jack's finger and he let out a choked gasp. "Oh, fuck..."

"It's okay, Ennis...gotta do this. You gotta be ready for it..." Ennis nodded and tried to will himself to relax, instead focusing on how much he loved Jack even if he could never say it.

Jack inserted another finger into him and scissored them, stretching Ennis and trying to make things easier for him. Penetration hurt a lot the first time, and he had to help Ennis get past that to the pleasure that followed.

When he thought that Ennis was ready and he seemed calm, Jack removed his fingers and then started to push in, taking it very slowly and very glad that they had lube with them. As Jack started to enter him, Ennis started breathing shakily as he tried not to yell with pain. It hurt a lot but he knew he wanted this; he wanted to feel Jack inside him. "Oh...God..."

"It's alright," Jack murmured to him as he pushed fully inside. Now in position, he lifted Ennis's legs and wrapped them around his waist, then leaned down. "Tell me when yer ready, cowboy..."

"Okay," Ennis replied, looking up at him and seeing that Jack was enjoying this already. The pain was fading and all he could feel was a little pressure from Jack being inside him; nothing to worry about, he figured. "I'm...I'm ready..."

Jack nodded and started to move, slowly pulling out a little and then back in again. He took his lover in long, smooth thrusts that allowed them to savour every moment and focus on what they were feeling. Jack couldn't deny how wonderful this was and he so wanted to tell Ennis that he loved him.

Instead, he captured Ennis's lips with his own as he moved faster, thrusting steadily until he felt Ennis reach out to him; Ennis was responding. He loved it when they held each other during sex; it became so much more when they did this. "Oh God, Ennis...you...you feel good..."

"You too," he managed to choke out, feeling as if his head was about to split open. "Uh..."

Jack increased the pace and he heard Ennis give a low moan from the back of his throat, and he knew he was on the right track. He started kissing Ennis's neck and then felt his lover shooting between them in thick, hot spurts that showed Jack how much Ennis had enjoyed this. He gave a few more thrusts and was there himself, coming inside his lover like he'd always wanted to.

Ennis collapsed to the bedroll and lay there with Jack on top of him, both gasping for breath. That had been one of the best times they'd ever had, and neither would forget it. "Damn," Jack breathed, pulling out and then falling back down onto Ennis's chest.

"Yeah," the other cowboy replied, wrapping his arms around Jack and sighing contentedly. He was starting to wonder why he'd been so afraid to do this; he'd never felt like this in his life.

The only trouble was...times like these made it even harder for them to say goodbye.