Things have started winding down. For team bonding, the Avengers decide to watch movies. Chaos ensues!
For the first movie...
Each of the Avengers settled down in the largest living room of Stark Tower, lounging on sofas, armchairs, and beanbags. A large circular table covered in fizzy drinks and junk food sat in front of the huge TV. The lights dimmed, and the movie started up. Tony picked 'The Hangover'.
Tracy, it's Phil.
Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out.
Yeah, listen, uh... we fucked up.
Steve frowned at the use of language. Tony and Clint laughed at his expression.
What are you talking about?
The bachelor party. The whole night. It's... Things got out of control and, uh... we lost Doug.
We can't find Doug.
What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in *five hours*.
Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Having seen The Hangover before, Clint and Tony burst out laughing. The next few minutes followed with a short, fat guy, with a beard, getting fitted for a tuxedo.
Whoa, watch it, pervert!
Tony snickered as the big guys friend tried reassuring him.
It's ok, Alan. He's just doing your inseam.
He's getting very close to my shaft!
Steve choked on his drink and sent coke spraying everywhere, leaving Tony clapping his hands like a retarded seal as he laughed. Clint bit his fist in an attempt to stop laughing. Bruce chuckled, while Natasha smiled and Pepper went slightly pink. Jane and Thor laughed as loud as Tony and Clint.
It then showed Sid and another guy talking.
Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Ah! Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
Clint and Tony smirked at Steve and Thor's confused expressions.
The trio of guys drove up to a school in an expensive mercedes. Alan looked worried.
I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.
Tony snorted at Alan's announcement.
What? One of the others asked.
Or a Chuck.E Cheese . Alan continued.
Steve was tense- the movie had already used alot of explicit language and talked about what he considered inappropriate subjects.
It then showed another guy conversing with his fiancee.
I hope you're not gonna go to some strip club when you're up there.
Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley. I don't even think they have strip clubs in wine country.
Well, I'm sure if there is one, Phil will sniff it out.
It's not gonna be like that.
Besides, you know how I feel about that.
I know, I know. It's just boys and their bachelor parties, it's gross.
You're right, it is gross.
Not to mention it's pathetic.
Those places are filthy.
Steve nodded his approval. Strip clubs (Tony had explained to him) were filthy places. The conversation on screen continued.
And the worst part is...that little girl...grinding and dry humping the fucking stage up there...
Clint spluttered with laughter as Steve went scarlet. They turned their attention back to the screen.
...that's somebody's daughter up there.
I was just gonna say that.
See? I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
Tony and Clint prepared to shout in unison with the next bit.
"PAGING !" They shouted in time with the guys out the window on-screen.
Stu, the guy talking to Melissa, winced.
"DR FAGGOT!" Bruce joined in.
Steve sunk further back in his chair. Natasha burst out laughing.
I should go.
Stu looked awkward.
That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.
Melissa looked unimpressed.
Tony rolled off the sofa. Everyone paid attention to the screen as the woman started talking again.
Have a good weekend.
She looked concerned.
Everyone was laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their faces, except for Steve and Thor, who looked mildly confused. Their expressions grew even more confused as the movie continued. They thought they finally got it. Until the rooftop scene where Alan was about to make a speech.
Hello. How about that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City.
All four of the guys on screen laughed nervously.
You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Steve nodded, understanding Alan for a moment.
But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one.
"GO ON ALAN!" Thor cheered.
So were there two... So there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago...when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought..
Clint, Bruce, and Tony nudged each other.
'Wait a second. Could it be?' And now, I know for sure...
Everyone except Steve and Thor took a deep breath.
"I JUST ADDED TWO MORE GUYS TO MY WOLF PACK!"
That made Steve and Thor choke on their drinks, now laughing along with the others, Steve deciding to let the content of the movie slide, just this once, because it was good to have the team laughing. Good to forget about their chaotic lives, even if only for an hour and a half. He sat back and enjoyed the rest of the movie, laughing when he saw the state of the hotel room the next morning, and shrieking when the tiger roared.
"THERE'S A FUCKING TIGER IN THE BATHROOM!" Clint shouted with Tony.
-Cue awkward silence-
-Cue raised eyebrows-
Followed by this was five minutes of hysterics, JARVIS pausing the movie because everyone was being so loud. It came to Stu's song accompanied by piano, when they were attempting to move Mike Tyson's tiger from the bathroom after dosing it with drugs.
What do tigers dream of
When they take a little tiger snooze?
Do they dream of mauling zebras
Or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?
Don 't you worry your pretty striped head
We're gonna get you back to Tyson
And your cozy tiger bed
And then we're gonna find
Our best friend Doug
And then we're gonna give him A best-friend hug
Everyone started singing along.
"Doug.." Bruce sang.
"DOUGGG!" Thor joined in.
"Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug..." Tony sang dramatically, raising his arms in the air.
But if he's been murdered By crystal-meth tweakers
Clint took a deep breath.
"WELL THEN WE'RE SHIT OUT OF LUCK!" he shouted.
Tony high fived Clint as everyone went into hysterics again. The Hangover, as it continued, proved to be a hilarious movie. Steve got past the explicit language and actually got some of the jokes, laughing along with everyone else when the guys stole a cop car and drove it along the sidewalk, grinning when they were at the casino, amazed at how much more advanced things had become, while trying to figure out where Doug may be, and joking around with the others. He was shocked when the four guys discovered that they had 'rescued' the wrong Doug.
So long, gay boys! Mr Chow gave a camp wave.
"SO LONG GAYY BOYS!" Tony and Clint echoed.
Steve promptly choked on his drink.
"What is the meaning of 'gay'?" Thor asked.
-Cue second awkward silence-
Tony grinned mischieviously.
"Well," he started. "It's when two guys-"