A/N: My first fic :) Just testing the waters with a one-shot from an idea me and my friend had about Thorin struggling to stay majestic due to his little nephews.

I don't own anything.

They were never going to sleep. Thorin knew he shouldn't have told them such an exciting story, and now the two dwarflings were wide-awake, gazing up at him from under the blanket.

"Tell us another!" Fili shouted as he sat bolt-upright. Thorin pushed him gently back down onto the pillows.

"No, it's time for sleep now."

"Please!" squealed the tuft of unruly brown hair protruding from the bed covers.

"No Kili," Thorin sighed "We're going to the forge tomorrow and you need plenty of rest."

This didn't stop either dwarfling, and they both proceeded to bounce up and down on the bed shouting about how much they enjoyed Thorin's stories.

"They're so exciting! Much better than the ones Balin tells us!"

"I like the funny voices like RAAARRRGH!"

"And the squeaky ones!"

"You do the funniest voices, Uncle Thorin!"

As the rightful king under the mountain, Thorin had to be seen as a majestic warrior. He couldn't bear the thought of this hard-earned image being ruined by his excitable nephews.

"Boys! BOYS! Sit back down. I will tell you one more story," he held up his hand to silence their cheering. "But you have to PROMISE me that you won't tell ANYONE ELSE about my funny voices."

"We promise!" they chorused.

"You're going to have to make a very grown-up promise, boys. Raise your right hands and repeat after me; I hereby swear on my beard that I will not tell anyone about Uncle Thorin telling us stories and using funny voices. If I break this vow, may my beard never grow."

Fili and Kili both did as they were told, beaming with pride that Thorin thought them grown-up enough to make a solemn oath, then both settled down to hear Thorin's next exhilarating tale.

"You two need to be on your best behaviour at the forge today. You need to do exactly as Balin, Dwalin and Bofur say, and I don't want to hear of any pranks…or property damage." Thorin added this last part with a sigh – his living room had not been the same since Fili had got his first training sword.

He walked into the forge holding his nephews' little hands and steered them towards where the three dwarves were hard at work. As Thorin approached they looked up, and Balin came out from behind his work-bench to greet his old friend.

"Thanks for looking after them today," Thorin said with an apologetic smile, then turned to Fili and Kili. "Be good, boys. I'll be back in a couple of hours." He leant in closer so the other dwarves couldn't hear and added in an undertone "And don't forget your promise."

The dwarflings' day went swiftly downhill from the moment Thorin left. Working at the forge was not as thrilling as they had imagined it to be, and the only jobs they were big enough to do were very dull, mostly fetching and carrying for the other dwarves.

Bofur looked up from his work at the two glum faces sitting on a bench in eyesight of all three dwarves (they were determined not to have another situation like when the children visited the mines. They had learnt from their mistakes.). He smiled kindly as he made his way over to them.

"Cheer up!" The dwarflings didn't even look up. "Would you like me to tell you a story to pass the time before your uncle comes for you?"

Kili's head snapped up, his little face brightening. "Can you do silly voices like Uncle Thorin does?"

"What was that, lad?" chucked Dwalin from the corner.

"Uncle Thorin's great at telling stories!" Kili ploughed on, ignoring his brother desperately trying to shut him up. "He does big scary voices for all the monsters and funny squeaky voices for all the silly elves." He giggled at the thought and didn't notice Fili's head dropping into his hands in despair.

Balin, Dwalin and Dwalin all looked at each other, the same triumphant glint in their eyes.

It had been a stressful day for Thorin. The dwarves of the Blue Mountains had been as stubborn and inhospitable to the refugees from Erebor as ever. He longed to sit down with his pipe and a pint of ale, but he had to pick up the terrors from the forge first. He dreaded to hear what devastation they had caused while he hadn't been present.

"Aye, they've been good as gold." Balin chuckled when Thorin enquired after the damages his nephews had caused. Thorin was completely taken aback.

"Oh! That's good to hear. Right then, we'd better head home. Thanks for looking after them." Thorin motioned for Fili and Kili to follow him as he turned towards the exit.

"Before you go Thorin," sniggered Bofur, "we wondered if you might tell us a story."

Thorin froze. He slowly turned around to look at his friends and saw them all shaking with stifled laughter. "What was that?" he growled menacingly.

Dwalin gave a mischievous smile. "I was hoping to hear the funny voices, especially the squeaky one."

Fuming, Thorin looked down at his nephews. One was looking decidedly guiltier than the other. The usual culprit.

"KILI!"