... Dreams of Silver ...
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, September 2nd, 10:14
"I refuse to be one."
Aiming his rushed steps towards the family rooms, those painful words echoed in Harry's mind still.
It was as if they were stuck on repeat Draco's merciless voice repeated the words Harry had hoped never to hear.
Over and over.
It felt to Harry as if his own mind wanted to prolong the pain of his world suddenly cracking down in the middle. It felt as if every word of the sentence was a needle that aimed and struck right into his heart.
Over and over again.
'Why does it hurt so much?'
And so he decided to run.
Run as soon as he was from the sight. Run as fast as possible… he did not want Draco, the source of current his pain, to witness his world disintegrating into dust. He did not want Draco to hear the sound of his heart breaking into pieces… breaking as if it was an unneeded piece of china thrown carelessly onto the floor.
And so the young Veela ran and ran, away from those words... The cruel words of rejection.
He ran, his thoughts whirling.
'Is this really who Draco is?' Harry thought desperately.
Was this the one he had been watching for so long? The same person he had called a truce with the previous year? Was this the same teen who he had midnight meetings with? True, it was only to train Defence, but still... Why did he want to help the blonde so much, especially when it became obvious that Umbridge targeted even some Slytherins?
If this was the real Draco then why had he refused the place in the Inquisitorial squad in the first place?
'Why was I so happy to know he did that? If this is the real Draco then why did I bother showing him Room of Requirement so we could train? Why did it even matter to me that much that he knew how to defend himself?'
Why did it all matter to him so much?
And why did it matter to Draco so little?
'I really thought we got over that stage.' the poor Veela wailed to himself. 'Why was it as if the little bully – which he admittedly was at first - returned all of sudden? Why did he return now?'
Harry could only be grateful that he met no one on his way. They would have probably thought him crazy.
'"The Boy Who Lived had finally gone round the bend."… Now wouldn't that be a fitting title.' Harry laughed to himself bitterly as his pace slowed down to a near crawl.
'If this is the result… then why did I try so hard?' Harry asked himself, stopping his advance completely. 'Was there ever any chance?… Would there have been a chance even if there was no Veela blood playing a role?' Harry continued despairing as his heart was slowly destroying itself from the inside.
As those thoughts appeared in his mind a new wave of his inner Veela's wailing started. Not that Harry felt any different… it summed up how he felt more than efficiently. He was nowhere near disagreeing… He could not argue with the reaction… Instead he broke into run again.
And he continued running until he reached the "Lupin-Black & Potter family" room.
Remus Lupin was not a paranoid person.
He was only about as paranoid as any person afflicted with the werewolf gene could be. Which meant maybe slightly more than the average.
It was because of that that he did not understand the wave of sudden unease that overcame him after his adoptive son had left the DADA classroom.
And it was because of that that the werewolf couldn't quite understand why he used the floo network of the castle, instead of walking back to the family rooms, as he had intended to.
'If everything is all right, then surely I can go back to the class to go through the lesson plan for the afternoon class soon. Harry is supposed to have Potions now… he headed straight there…' Remus reasoned with himself as he paced in front of the fireplace.
'Nothing is wrong, ri-…'
The werewolf paused himself mid-thought as suddenly he smelled something. Something that decidedly did not appeal to his senses. What was it though? He was not quite sure.
He got his answer mere seconds later when a decidedly distraught and not-in-the-Potions-class Harry crashed through the door to their rooms.
"What is it, Harry?" Remus asked, as his senses immediately identified the smell that irked him as the smell of Harry's distress.
Instead of answers however Harry's legs gave out under him and he all but crashed onto the floor of the living room their little family shared. Once he found himself on the floor he then - quite effectively - proceeded to curl himself into a ball as small as humanly possible… or maybe that was not the right wording? Harry had become a Veela after all.
'This is not the right time for word play, idiot.' the werewolf berated at himself as he proceeded to kneel by his obviously suffering cub.
'What could have caused this?'
Looking into the corridor down which his mate disappeared some time ago, Draco admitted to himself that he was a coward. He was taking the easy way out.
As he was the one to "do" the rejecting his mind wouldn't feel the need to spiral down the deep abyss of the Depression.
After all, it wouldn't take Harry long to piece together what being Draco's mate would mean. And then for sure the rejection would have come.
'Like this I'll get away from the pain that would ensue if I was outright rejected. It would not help that the pain would not have been from the Veela bond only.' Draco thought to himself bitterly.
'Still… to be the one hurt… or the one who hurts? Why is there such a vast difference in those?' Draco though idly. 'But it's not really like that, is it? It won't be like that for Harry. We did become sort of friends over the last year, and it was kind of - pretty - underhanded to just switch back to how we were before that, yet…'
Draco started walking slowly into the direction of the Dungeons only to nearly greet the floor face first. The weight of his wings hadn't yet caught up with his conscious mind and as such set him off-balance very easily.
'Almost forgot about those, huh…' Draco scratched the back of his head, absent-mindedly. 'One wouldn't ever guess how easy it is to forget two giant appendages sprouting from their own back.'
Concentrating on how he should look, like a human, that was, Draco soon got the wings to retreat back under his skin… if that was only after his twentieth try or so, no one had to know.
Once the matter of his wings had been taken care of and a quick Reparo on his clothes was cast, Draco returned to his previous thoughts, which still whirled around in his skull wildly.
'With rejecting Harry I spared myself pain twice the one of an actual Rejection… Harry, while he will probably be disappointed about not actually getting the mate which his turning into Veela indicated, would not feel the actual pain of rejection… He was not born a Veela after all… Thought he will more likely than not call off our truce.' Draco summarised his thoughts.
'With my refusing the bond like this I might one day even be content, although never truly happy without my mate… Harry wouldn't even need to be nearby for that, because like this the separation will be my choice. Like this I let Harry live free of the bond.' Draco smiled sadly as he reached the Potions classroom. He was a few minutes late, but he was sure his godfather wouldn't mind… much.
Before he however opened the door a traitorous thoughts entered his mind.
'But maybe I could have done it differently? Harry really is not one to hold onto grudges that tight after all… maybe we'd be able to stay friends at least? But surely this is better for both of us? I won't feel the pain of rejection or separation and he is allowed to walk free…'
Once Draco entered the door to the Potions class and already he saw his godfather's scowling face. He wouldn't get out of this without losing some points, but he did not exactly care right at that moment, because his latest worries rang in his mind still.
'That is how the bond works, isn't it?'
A few storeys upwards from the Potions classroom Remus Lupin was still in the process of trying to get anything but new waves of tears out of his adopted child.
It did not go exactly well.
The only change that had happened in the time he spent trying was that Harry went from hysterically crying to being nearly catatonic, still curled in a human ball, but not responding to Remus' words even with the tears.
Remus however only stopped trying to calm the teen for a moment, in order to make a floo call to excuse Harry from his class.
He would have called to get Sirius also, but he couldn't quite call his husband away from his very first class of the year. That would undermine his authority as a teacher in an unthinkable manner.
And Sirius couldn't afford that, not when at least a portion of each of his classes was still convinced that he was not the innocent person he was.
And so gathering their adoptive son in his arms Remus waited.
He waited whilst trying to get a response from the young Veela, his tries to calm the teen down in vain, but wait he did none the less.
'What could have caused this?' he asked himself still. He however knew that the answer he would not get until he actually managed to calm his distressed son down enough to be capable of speech... Or at least to look at him.
It weighed on the werewolf's mind none the less though.
What could have made his cub… his dear, strong cub despair like that?
In the end the reality did not strike home until after Sirius returned from his class first class.
"Do you know what's with Harry, Remy? Snivellus complained to me that he skipped his class… Not that I wouldn't do that myself were I in Harry's shoes, but…" it was only at that moment that the grimm animagus actually looked into the room which their little family shared, having entered the door backwards, his hands full of materials for his class. It was needless to say that the sight of his husband trying to calm down their son in the middle of the room was not quite what he expected to encounter when he finally turned around.
"Harry, puppy, what happened?" Sirius was immediately on the floor also.
It was as soon as Sirius appeared by his side that Harry's eyes snapped open to look at both his fathers, it was as if he only then realised that he was not alone in the room, despite Remus having physical contact with him for the better part of the hour he spent there.
As the teen's eyes looked at the two canines searchingly though, it only took a moment for both of them to come to a conclusion about Harry's state.
Because the jewel-toned eyes of a Veela left little doubt about the source of their son's pain.
"You said there was nearly no possibility of Harry being unhappy because of his mate!" Sirius turned to his husband as soon as the puzzle pieces clicked together in his head. "You said that the chances of Harry being hurt by his mate are near zero!"
"And they are!" Remus snapped back, having come to the same conclusion his agitated husband did. As they talked about the possible outcomes only about a week ago it was no wonder.
The animagus however did not really listen to the werewolf anymore. Instead he turned into his grimm form and ran a few circles around the room, obviously trying to burn off at least a bit of the steam which was gathering in his core. He had an unfortunate habit of letting it go off at the most inappropriate times and at the least deserving people.
Once the worst of his agitation wore off Sirius turned back into human and immediately went onto questioning the distraught Veela.
"Who is the bastard Harry? Just a name would do. I don't know all of them yet, but…" Sirius' mouth went off with the speed of a Firebolt. It was not a wonder that it took a moment for the other two in the room to gather their thoughts.
"Siri…" Remus tried to warn his idiot of a husband, but it seemed to be in naught… as it was most the time, if the werewolf were to be completely sincere. And yet again, it was no wonder that it did not exactly go well.
"You can't!" Harry cried out as he was brought out of his stupor, standing up and nearly causing Remus to fall over in the process. The fact that he hadn't done so in more than an hour however showed itself in a moment of dizziness that had Harry tumbling back onto the floor. Luckily for him, the more reasonable of his fathers had yet to get up and easily caught him when he fell.
"I can and I will!" Sirius raged, "I will wring his neck until it snaps his head off! That worm of a Veela does not deserve to as much as breathe for making you cry and he's going to pay!"
Remus sighed as he watched his husband dig deeper and deeper into the matter. If there was one thing no one could say about Sirius it was that he was not passionate… if only he knew how to handle some situations better… that would be great.
"Siri…" Remus started again, feeling the body of the Veela in his arms shake. It did not take long for that barely noticeable trembling to intensify as Harry's body was wreaked with sobs once again.
That of course only made Sirius' opinion of Harry's mate worsen and the level of his agitation reach the height of Astronomy tower.
With the way he was working himself into a state it was no wonder that soon enough a grimm was yet again running around the room.
And as Remus watched him, cradling the body in his arms closer to himself he could not help but worry.
Because after all, what they were talking now was the worse opinion of what they talked about. But what if, once Harry was coherent enough, they got to know that they in fact should have been prepared for the worst?
He feared that option.
Eventually Harry calmed down.
After some time, some more waves of utter despair and a mug of hot chocolate, which had unsurprisingly been offered by Remus, that was.
Talk about the source of his tears however, that he did not. A fact about which Sirius was not exactly happy.
"So I got dumped, yeah, big deal..." Harry sniffed, much to his own irritation. "Things like that happen all the time. It's not his fault I'm not what he wanted in a mate... that he doesn't want me."
At those words both of the teen's adoptive fathers froze. They stared at Harry, at loss of words, because it couldn't be, could it?
"Harry..." Remus started, then his voice failed momentarily. It took a moment for him to gather his wit enough to try again. "Did he tell you that himself?"
"Did he tell you that directly?" Sirius pressed, knowing that his husband's thoughts had ran the same way his did. Exactly the same way.
"Why?" Harry said in a near-whisper, not able to make his vocal chords cooperate. He so wanted to seem strong for his fathers. To make them worry less. But how could he when...
"I'm going to kill that motherfucker!" Sirius bellowed, soon having to resort to changing his shape again, much like he did some hours ago.
This time around however, it seemed that if the werewolf had the same option he would be running around with the grimm. At least that was what Harry deduced from the killing intent he saw in the amber eyes.
The young Veela however did not understand. He did not know the reasons behind their behaviour. Why were his parents so angry?
He did get dumped, yeah, so he would understand if there was some indignation, but things like that happened all the time.
'It just happened to me this time around...' Harry thought morosely as he burrowed further into the couch he had been sat on, his gaze dropping to his hands, where he held the empty mug still.
"You really don't need to fret over it so much, I just got rejected. No big deal. I'll survive."
Once again all the movement in the room stopped.
"What?" Harry asked, not understanding the depth of his parents' worries.
It was not that surprising.
After all when it came to Veelas there were not that many information known.
Everyone knew that once a born Veela was rejected by their destined mate, they would be likely to die, it would more often than not depend on the intensity of the feelings which the Veela held for the mate before then, it happened very often that the mate was someone they knew.
The likelihood of the death would also depend on if the rejection was an outright verbal, complete rejection or if the destined mate was willing to spend at least some time with the Veela regularly, if they were willing to be friends with the born Veela. It was the alternative when the mate was able to love the Veela to some extent, but not in the romantic sense.
It however was not often that a Veela got rejected anyway.
For once the mate acquired the new, Veela blood in place of any other creature inheritance, that very blood sang for the Veela also. Unlike the born Veela however, that song could be suppressed. And that was where the seldom tragedies came from.
That was it, most the people who were aware of existence of Veelas thought.
However it was not.
Because much like the Lupin-Black pair knew, there was a glitch in that natural order.
The rejection that worked much like the one of the born-Veela, but was not quite the same. The rejection of the mate, by the Veela.
Not many knew... and neither did Harry.
And in only a few minutes, that were just about to pass, he was going to wish that he had continued living in that blissful ignorance.
Ta... dah? (-v-')
Ahem... so you got a little insight into what had been going on in Draco's head during the last chapter... (are you prepared to kill me yet?) .. It's soon going to make even more sense, as more facts are revealed... same goes for the last part, which will be supported by a hella lot DETAILS. Meh meh...
Also sorry for making Harry look a bit like a wimp here... he's going to get better, I swear (^^')
Either way, even if this is not the amount of time I want between my chapters still, it is better than I feared. (A huge sorry to those of you who also read Fallax Iuvente, I plan on uploading that and Crimson Ties next... if only the muse was more willing...)
Be that as may, I love you all for putting up with me and my update intervals, really. *huggle* \(O0O)/
See ya~ ("-.-)/