Disclaimer: I own nothing...
A/N: I know it's a new story, but it got quite a fair bit of attention when I posted a snippet on my fanfiction Facebook... So this is going to a mega step out from everything else I am contending with... But having variety seems to work for me more than anything else... This is a little more of a whacko idea, please stay with it and I hope you enjoy where my muse is shoving me =)
The Grey Heart Epiphany – Chapter One
"Was it me being not enough or me and the baby being too much that drove you to her, Christian?" Ana asked after violently shaking her husband awake, even throwing water over him to welcome some sobriety into his veins somehow.
"What the hell, Ana?!" Christian exclaimed as he shot up from his sleeping slumber and found his bearings. He was soaking wet now, and he felt the alcoholic buzz still spreading throughout his body. "I'm wet now." He looked up, and found that it might have only been a half light filtering in the room, Ana was still standing with a face full of thunder, "Ana?"
Holding her phone up at her husband, she ran her tongue along the inside of her mouth in agitation, "How is dear sweet Elena?"
Christian watched his usually docile and polite wife as she exuded the aggressive side of her and he had to admit, in his drunken anticlimax he was actually unnerved. She was usually a force to be reckoned with if she had her mind set on something, but this wasn't like any of those times.
No, this was much more severe.
"What do you mean?" He asked as he got up and swiped for her phone. "Reading my texts and clearly reading into them far too much, Ana."
Holding the phone out of his reach, she unlocked the Blackberry and gave a small laugh as she shook her head. She was still in utter disbelief. Clearing her throat she began to read: "It was good to see you. I understand now. Don't fret. You'll make a wonderful father." She then looked at him, "Nice text from Elena. So whilst I've been up worrying about you and your whereabouts, you were with her."
"I needed to talk to someone," He growled as he came to sit on the edge of the bed.
"And it's great to know that I'm not someone to talk to," She locked the phone and her grip tightened around it. "Thanks for being such an amazing support, Christian. I thought I got a grade A husband," She laughed as the anger built in her chest once more and exploded, "No, I got a grade A asshole who would rather run off to his paedophilic ex than stay here with his wife and actually fix something quick important between you and her." She threw his phone at him then, blinded by rage and deep down, a burst of resentment. "You didn't want to help, you just ran. Great move, Mr. Fucking Grey! Great fucking move!"
Biting on his inner cheek, Christian snapped, allowing his anger to just revel in this moment. "You're no saint, Ana Grey!" Christian yelled back at her, making her shudder from him in fear as he bolted to his feet and stood before her. "You forgot your fucking shots to prevent this from happening," As he plied emphasis on that one word, he looked at her stomach and looked even more disgusted to see her hand go to her flat abdomen. "Now look at us!"
"It's not all my fault!" Ana snapped back in an angry tone, not ready to be fully blamed for this, "Do you need a biology lesson to be told how a baby is conceived or do you think it's Immaculate Conception?"
"How do I even know it's mine?" He asked her and saw her pale. She almost looked like she might well collapse beneath that accusation.
Ana's eyes finally watered. She was destroyed by that comment more than he would ever know, "I don't sleep around because I love you too fucking much. Clearly I was the only one loving in this relationship."
"Don't you dare say that when I'm the one that brought you into this life and gave you everything you could have ever desired," Christian told her in a warning tone. "I make sure everything you want is yours as soon as you desire it, Ana!"
"I only ever fucking desired you, Christian, so don't bring that bullshit on me!" Ana bellowed at him, pushing him back a little to work out some of her anger, "It was only you I want. The rest was insignificant compared to you!" She saw him just stare and she faltered, "I needed you tonight and you left me."
"Are you looking for sympathy, Ana?" Christian asked, almost trying to use as many digs as possible. He could see how desperate she was, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with. Angry and drunk didn't make for a considering Fifty. "Is this what this is? I went and got advice and because you didn't you thought a spot of sympathy would work. Poor little Ana got left out and all the sympathy wasn't on her!"
Ana laughed at that comment, trying to keep her guise intact, seeing as emotional didn't work very well. "I guess I am because I definitely got the shit that comes before it!"
She then left him to it, slamming the door in the quiet apartment. He watched the door for a moment before he grabbed some cleaner, dryer clothes and then quickly got dressed. He needed out, but not to see Elena, not to see anyone. He needed to go out and be alone.
As he came out from the bedroom, he was readying to go out for some air, but found Ana blocking the walkway with a strong stance, her hands on her hips.
"Move," He demanded but she didn't listen to him. Why would she? She was disobedient most of the time but now she was angry. Her heels would be dug in and unmoving if she had it her way.
However, the tone that came out of his wife's mouth was not what he expected. "Do you want this baby?" Ana asked her husband in a meek tone, her eyes searching his entire facial exterior for any signs of hope that might be sparking through the cold, controlled look. It was a simple question and she was hoping that it would reward some worthwhile emotion.
"I don't know," he bit back at her and turned to leave. He felt caged, like a claustrophobic animal whimpering for air.
Ana grabbed her husband's hand in fear of him leaving her. She hoped that if she held onto him, he would see that she was desperate to make him stay, to right this wrong. However, the man that turned around to face her was a stranger with cold grey eyes and a face made of stone.
"I need to leave, Anastasia," He told her in a hardening and fierce tone and he narrowed his gaze on her, making her uncomfortable beneath it. "Now."
Letting their hands slip apart, Ana dipped her hand in a submissive manner and took a step away from him. She wasn't giving him a sense of dominance right now, quite the opposite actually. She was trying to stop herself from crying. She was trying to fight the tears but she felt like she was losing that fight like she was losing her husband.
Sickened by her obedient posture, Christian backed up and headed for the doors to leave Escala.
That was enough to open the dam on her tears. The flood gates opened and the tears destroyed everything as they began to rush down her face, stealing makeup, making uneven trails, showing the emotional anguish.
Before he left the apartment, he heard her sobs ring out, enclosing on him and strangling him in their enormity. He took a chaste look over his shoulder and the sight there sent him propelling forward. He had gone too far and seeing his wife drop to her knees with her head in hands, sobbing angrily into them, told him he had broken her.
He was a monster.
That feeling was what drove him to buy a bottle of vodka and down the bitter taste to just help numb his body and it was probably the same emotion that drove him around Seattle not caring for his own safety.
He had left his wife. Scratch that, he had left his pregnant wife crying on the cold wooden floor of their Escala home and he never once told her anything that would make her know he thought of this baby. He didn't know if he loved the baby, but he loved his wife. Was that love enough though? That he didn't know.
So he had left her a crying heap until he could decide to give her a deadset answer that was positive because, right now, he couldn't be a father, he couldn't lose the life they had and share her. However, he wanted her happy and the best things did just happen in his life. After all, he didn't pursue to meet Ana that first day, she fell into his office.
As all his thoughts conflicted, he took another swig of the clear alcohol hoping for some dire paralysis.
Driving, Christian knew he was wrong on more counts than one, but he couldn't just go home now. He had to think, he owed Ana that. He owed his wife the clarity of the situation and he wanted to back home and tell her how he felt about this baby news.
She would have to remain in limbo until he knew.
"Fucking asshole!" He screamed in a drunken rage, throwing the bottle of alcohol down onto the floor as beaming headlights shone so bright they filled up the entire road. Christian squinted, trying to drive straight as he did so but the lights were so overpowering.
It wasn't until they were right on top of him that Christian tried to avoid the crash at great lengths, trying to decide the best way to swerve to evade the inevitable crush of metal on metal.
It was too late and the ear shattering crunch was delivered upon his car and his body shook within the metal shell of the Audi. Trying to remain focused, Christian lost utter control when his head hit the steering wheel with a sickening crunch.
At least he went out in a haze of bright lights.