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The Grey Heart EpiphanyChapter Seven

Taylor had heard news from the hospital on how well Christian was doing – all things taken into account – and he knew he had to now see to Ana and fulfil his self made duties. Now he had two duties – one to Ana, the other to Christian. He had to make sure she was still okay.

He knocked on the bedroom door and then let himself in. Entering the room, Taylor found Ana curled up in a ball and he knew it was time to get to the bottom of this behaviour. He had to solve this issue and he had to get Ana to see that limbo was over for her. Her husband was awake and life could come away from this paused state and restart.

He sat on the edge of the bed, their bodies facing and he put his hand to rest on to her arm, "Mrs. Grey, this isn't healthy for you."

"I know," She said as she sat up slowly and sniffled again her tears. "I'm pregnant, Jason," Ana sobbed at Taylor and just fell against him. She felt his arms wrap around and it was the first pieces of comfort she had felt from a dominant male for months and it made her miss her husband all the more.

Taylor was Christian, but he held the same demand for control and that was probably why Ana felt so safe and calm around him.

"I found out before this all happened," She whispered to the security guard and tried to remain calm. "Christian didn't want it, but I couldn't go through an abortion." Her face crumpled with tears at that point, "I tried. God, I tried to go through with one so when he woke up he wouldn't hate me more than he already did, but I knew I would hate myself." She sucked in a breath, feeling like she was suffocating with her own cries, "If I had to live without him I couldn't do that to our baby. I would just hate myself. I wouldn't survive that. I wouldn't survive losing them both."

Taylor felt disgusted that he had missed all of this. That any of his team, that the entire family had. He could only be there for her now after only just realising how dark the past few months had been for Ana. He couldn't even imagine

"I wish you had just told us," Taylor replied with a gentle tone. "Had you just done that, half of these issues wouldn't be happening now."

"I couldn't," Ana concluded and then felt herself revert to that quiet place she had shielded herself from for months.

In the last three months, Ana had watched nurses and doctors look after her husband and tell her what a loving wife she was and how lucky Christian was to have her. She had watched as they checked his IV, his feeding tube, his catheter, his oxygen levels, his brain activity. She even had to watch them test his reflexes and responses and for the most part, Christian Grey was the epitome of healthy. If it wasn't for the mark on his forehead that seemed to have taken ages to heal, then she would have believed he was fine and sleeping.

However, he never woke up. Not even for his family and never for her.

It wasn't a lie that she had given up hope, but still stuck by his side out of a sense of duty. She read to him most days, spoke at him, listened to his breathing, sang at him, had a three way conversation concerning him and their baby. She tried anything to fill the deadness that cloaked around her every waking moment and told her that she hadn't heard her husband speak in nearing four months.

Ana couldn't mistake how much love she had for her husband and that only grew when she felt their baby kick her hand one morning after she had sang at her husband. That moment was a milestone and Ana had experienced it whilst living in a hellish limbo.

And she had no clue where this baby fit into life when it happened.

"Ana," Taylor brought her back to earth. He watched her look at him with an exhausted glance, "I'm going to go and see if Gail has some food, but why don't you try and get some sleep. I'll wake you up with something to eat," Taylor advised Ana and left her be. He wasn't going to tell her he was going to ring Grace, he wanted her to rest.

Ana didn't sleep when he left, she gave into the depression that clawed and bit at her. She caved because she didn't know how deal with her husband coming out from a coma and being nearly five months pregnant.

How did you cope with that when you were in Ana's shoes?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Grey Heart Epiphany -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Ana, Honey," Grace called as she pushed over the door and heard the sobbing coming from the bed. It hadn't been the first time that Grace had found Ana crying in an empty room, or in Christian's room, and it wasn't the last time she knew it would happen.

Ana rubbed her face and watched as Grace came to take the space that Taylor had earlier.

"Want to tell me what's been going on?" She asked in a sweet, motherly tone and Ana had to wonder if she was ever going to be like that with her child. "You left so quickly that both me and Christian were confused."

"Is he okay?" Ana asked suddenly feeling guilty for not waiting to see if her husband was actually as healthy as he looked and as together as she hoped even though the doctors had prepared him not to be.

"We can discuss him in a moment," Grace promptly stopped her from talking. "Now, what is it? What's going on here?"

Sitting up, Ana looked to Grace and she pulled her baggy shirt up. She looked up at Grace, "I've been hiding it from everyone."

"You sure have," Grace's eyes bulged at the sight of the baby bump on Ana and Grace felt the sinking feeling of her heart. With a tearful gaze, she looked at her daughter-in-law, "Ana, you didn't have to hide that from anyone."

Ana nodded and her lip began to wobble as she dropped her head down.

Grace leaned in, placing a gentle hand to Ana's chin she brought her head back up to meet gazes, "Why did you feel the need to hide it from us all? Why couldn't you tell us?" She saw Ana go to refuse to answer, "Why, Ana? You can tell me."

"Christian wasn't completely fond of the idea of me being with child," Ana told Grace quietly. "He left that night after an argument and then I receive a phone call an hour later to tell me that he's been involved in a serious crash and I should get to the hospital. He left me on the floor of our home so he could drink drive and I'm left not knowing what the hell to do. I still don't know what to do."

"Do you love Christian?" Grace asked and saw Ana nod, "Do you love that baby?"

"So much. I love them both so much," Ana managed in a tear riddled voice. "Grace," Ana's lip trembled and she felt the influx of tears wash over her eyes and down her cheeks, "I don't want to hide it anymore."

Grace wrapped her arms around Ana's body and held on for dear life as Ana appeared to do the same back at her. She didn't let go as Ana caved to more tears and she acted as the mother that Ana couldn't have right now. Grace just looked after Ana the best way she knew how to.

All the while cursing herself.

Grace couldn't believe she hadn't seen it. She had seen Ana run for a bathroom on several times, seen the baggier clothing Ana was wearing and even noticed her craving for dipping potato chips into soda. Ana had a certain fully face to her, had been flexing a lot as if to rid backache and was more exhausted for a different reason than lack of sleep. It was more a fatigue complaint than anything else.

Grace could have kicked herself for it.

"Then don't," Was all Grace said as she pulled away and pushed Ana's hair back so her hands came to frame her face. "You embrace that child and you show everyone how much you love it. The only reason I can think for you doing so and hiding it from us is because you wanted some resolution with Christian before you told anyone the news."

Ana nodded, she had it right as always, "I knew we would fight, but I didn't think this would happen. I certainly didn't intend to be left like this for so long. I thought we would argue and then we would get over it, you know?" Ana asked rhetorically, "I thought we'd do that and then get over it. We'd kiss and make up and then we would wait the twelve weeks and then share. Now it's been nearly twenty and no one but myself, Christian and the walls of Escala know."

"Ana," Grace broke into Ana's rant, "Now is your time to pick up the pieces of what happened, talk to Christian, hash everything out and move on. Now is the time for you to get some peace after so long. He is awake and is waiting on you." She saw Ana was understanding that detail and she knew she had to push her daughter-in-law into one more thing, "So how about we go to Christian and we get the ball rolling?"

"I don't know," Ana tried to deny that was the best route to pick right now. "I mean, he was so angry."

Grace shushed her gently, "I just want you to be happy and to get some closure. Christian is waiting and willing to give you that, Ana. He isn't angry now. He just wants you."

"Okay," Ana relented, and even though she was nervous at the prospect, she listened.

Ana didn't think too much as Grace pulled her up to her feet and pulled her from the room. She just went with Grace, kept faith in Grace and allowed her to take her down to the car and then to the hospital. She didn't have to do much when she was flanked by her mother-in-law and bodyguard. There was no place to run when you had nowhere to go.

They kept her walking forward instead of sinking to the ground and giving up.

Walking up the familiar corridor to Christian's room, Ana felt herself pull back. She couldn't do it. She couldn't face him. "No, I can't," She panicked and turned away. "He didn't want this baby, that's why he got into that car that night because of this baby so why would he want it now? After it nearly killed him."

Grace grabbed Ana and exchanged a look with Taylor, he wasn't letting her leave and neither was Grace, "He wants to see you. That much was clear to see and there was no stopping him from seeing you."

"I should have gone through with an abortion and I could made it out like his head injury had caused brain damage," Ana became frantic, her hands shaking with the thoughts. "That would have been easy and less damaging. He would think it was all in his head."

Grace knew she had step in then. After seeing Ana go through three months of lack of self care, lack of sleep, lack of conversation, she now saw the weakling it had all left behind. Not to forget the pregnancy hormones running rapid around Ana's body as it were.

"That would destroy you more than going into that room will," Grace told Ana as she held onto her. "You just have to face Christian, Ana. Face him, face him with the baby and stand your ground. You want to be a family, tell him that."

Looking at the door, she gulped.

Moment of truth, Ana.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Grey Heart Epiphany -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-