VII: The Correction
This could last forever.
I shouldn't be this happy.
There must be laws against being this happy. Technically we did break a law.
It's early but the sky slowly begins to glow. I haven't moved an inch. She's very warm. We're covered beneath my clean sheets. Alex's arms curled up against me, her head resting against my shoulder. She's sound asleep. I brushed some strands of hair away from her face. She mumbled something I couldn't quite make out.
My phone had tons of messages. I felt like throwing it in the hallway but I don't because it's an expensive phone. Then reality sets in: What's she going to say when she wakes up?
The champagne bottle lies discarded and empty. How much alcohol was in that? Is that why we went as far as we did? And what do I say then? "Sorry, we were drunk and it's not going to happen again..."
But I want us to happen again. Stop!
I do. We were gentle at first but as things progressed, we really got in to it. Three times. I wasn't a virgin and she knew what she was doing. I do recall her being on top. You should really stop.
It couldn't be the alcohol, it doesn't affect me all that much and I know deep down inside, I was in the right state of mind. I only hope she was too but I don't know. I could always confess my long undying love for her, that I want to be with her but what would that mean? Not just to us but to people we know. Just thinking about Mom, Dad and Max's reactions terrify me. What will they say? Terrible things. What will they think? Terrible things. What will they do? Terrible things.
I never should've kissed her. It never should've gotten to this point. This all could've been avoided and yet I wanted it to happen.
She wakes up. I closed my eyes right away to act asleep.
"Justin?" She said in a mere slumber. My eyes opened slowly, "Alex."
"Did you just wake up?"
I peered over at the clock. 07:00.
She gingerly got up from the bed and searched for her clothes. I sat up correctly, fully aware of what was happening. She was leaving and she's already regretting everything. My fate sealed.
She looked at me, annoyed as she grabbed some of her clothes.
I asked, "What are you doing?"
"I hate liars."
"You didn't just wake up. You were thinking about what happened."
"And what exactly happened?"
"You tell me! You're the one who started it."
She's right. I did start everything. I hated when she was right.
She put on her coat and walked to the door. I quickly got up and stopped her from opening it. Her back against the wall and I'm facing her. I'm still naked.
She looks so confused, "What am I to you, Justin?"
That's a great question.
What am I? People would label me a sick person and rightfully so, she is my sister, she has the same blood, we have the same parents and I'm the one who initiated everything. I'm the worst kind of person, someone who's selfish and doesn't know what true love is.
And yet, this feels like I'm in love. Because I wouldn't have started any of this if I didn't think something was there and I absolutely-without-question know there is something.
True love has no boundaries when it comes to me and her. The Gods won't understand and I know my soul will burn for this. But it's already been tortured, it's conflicted, it's biased and it's human. We all make mistakes and I know this isn't a mistake. This is the correction.
"You're my everything and I can't stand that I'm not supposed to have you."
Her stare softened.
"If you leave right now, I'll try to forget everything that happened. It'll be hard, trust me but I'll try because you want me to." My head lowers, a pointless option for a way out.
"Is that what you think I want?"
Her eyes tear up. I shook my head.
"I only want you, Alex."
I leaned in and kissed her slowly. A short gentle kiss and her arms envelop around my neck as she kissed me back. I stopped and pulled away. It's her eyes. The eyes of hope and passion. The eyes that forge deep into a soul and we're lost. Truly lost and I don't care anymore...
She grabbed my hand and placed it against her chest, over her heart.
"You can have me then." She said.
We go back to bed and plan things out for our new world ahead.
(A/N: Truly a difficult chapter to write, there were so many ways I could've taken it but this was the more ideal and hopeful. I'm a hopeless romantic. This is the end for now. I hoped you all enjoyed it. I'm taking a break but keep in touch and thanks for all the fish.)