Disclaimer (WARNINGS and/or LEGAL): All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks to Hotella at RedSparklyPen. Thanks to Jess, and Alice's White Rabbit
~* Personified Idiosyncrasy *~
I'm a loner and don't have any family left, both my parents now gone.
My mother, Elizabeth, had suffered from OCD; everything had to be perfect. If my toys became what she thought was unclean, she would take them away from me. Everything in our home had to be put just so: labels all facing one way, beds made with the covers facing the way she wanted. It was hard to get it the way she wanted. I tried, but I was always told that I didn't do things well enough.
My father, Edward Sr., worked all the time. He was never home, but when he was, he would always take my mom's side. He would take my good toys away from me and give them away, telling me that I was spoiled. He told me often that I was wrong, nothing more than a mistake.
I was fourteen when my mother died. My father blamed me because I didn't watch over her enough. He said I was an evil person, and when you love someone, you protect them with everything you have.
It was not even a year later that I thought my father had changed. He was happier, at least. I remember the day well. We had breakfast and he was looking over my drawings. He asked me what I was going to do with my life, and I told him I didn't know yet. He frowned, telling me to stop playing around all the time that life was about working. He said goodbye to me as I left for school.
I came back to the house after school, excited to tell him that I wanted to be an architect. I looked all over the house and I couldn't find him. The only place I didn't look at first was Mom's office; neither of us had been in there for some time. That's where I found him, hanging from the ceiling with a note in his hand. The note said I needed to make sure the house was up to Mom's standards before calling anyone, and I was not to fail her or him on this. I spent two days trying my best—I know that I didn't do a good enough job—I failed them.
After that, I put all my focus into becoming an architect. Life passed by in a flash. So here I am: thirty-five with no friends or family to speak of. All I have are my businesses and employees. I'm not sure if I even know how to make friends anymore; it's been so long since I've had one. But one thing that I know for certain is I need her and want her—she is mine. I'll never let her down. I'll always protect her and keep her safe. She'll never become broken or be taken away from me. I will protect her and I will not lose her, like I've lost everything else.
I've been watching her for the past six months at Cullen Architecture in Port Angeles, Washington. The first week there, I was trying to escape. At lunch I'd hide out, tired of the endless chatter and questions. She bumped into me as I was minding my own business off to the side of the break room. I was about to chastise her, but her eyes ... they held me captive and weren't letting go. I barely heard her whisper an apology. Not even the softness of her voice could break the trance her eyes cast on mine.
Dropping her eyes from mine, I almost protested as again she said she was sorry. I watched her, still unable to use my own voice as she walked away. I watched as she moved to a more secluded place. I wanted to follow her so I could look into her eyes again. I stood there, just staring at this girl—because that's what she was—a girl, a small one at that. She couldn't be more than five foot three. She wasn't overly thin like most women I have come across. She was curvy with a nice hourglass frame. Her long brown hair reached the middle of her back in a ponytail. I stood there staring at her for a short time before I made my way back to my temporary office. I had wanted to walk over to her, talk to her, find out everything there was to know about her, but my feet wouldn't move. The feelings took over and I was frightened by them, so I made my escape. The mantra I kept repeating in my head was "MINE!"
She should be there by now. She's late; I check the time again. She should've arrived at 8:10; it's 8:14 now. I look at my watch, seeing the minute hand moving so slowly, almost as if it's mocking me. In — 1 — 2 — 3 — 4. Out — 1 — 2 — 3 — 4. In — 1 — 2 — 3 — 4. Out — 1 — 2 — 3 — 4. Fuck, this is not working. I try again to slow my breath, still feeling on edge. I hear the sound of a door opening, and in she walks—my own personal demon. God, she's so beautiful, so pure. She doesn't know just how beautiful she is, or how much we have in common.
I see her smelling the tulips I chose for her. I picked them up and placed them in her flat myself; I wasn't having them delivered and taking the chance of the delivery boy ogling her. There is no way another man will be in her home—no way! I keep watching her as she walks around the flat. I see the small smile that comes over her face before she runs and jumps on the bed. Her body bounces a little before it becomes still. I watch her as her breathing seems to deepen and sleep takes over her body.
I tried to ask her out. It was the week after I first saw her. At first, I tried to stay away, but I am weak and couldn't resist. I learned all I could about her and her habits. I know she is twenty years old, and at the age of seventeen, she became an orphan. Her father was killed in the line of duty, and her mother had died when she was very young.
With the money she got after her father was killed, she fast-tracked not only high school, but college too. Her sophomore year, she came to work for my company on an apprenticeship. I looked over all of her work, and she clearly knows the ins and outs of it all. She only lacks experience which, of course, she will gain as she goes.
I found out that she was newly single and that she was currently living in an efficiency apartment. Just over two weeks after buying a house with her ex-boyfriend in Port Angeles, she moved to her new location. I did some more digging, and rumor has it that she found her so-called boyfriend in bed with another man. The ex was still living in the house and was paying her a set amount each month.
I then found myself doing something, well, a few things actually, that I never thought I'd ever do. I had Emmett tail her. Emmett does many things for me: he is my bodyguard, PA, secretary, and general go-to guy. He has always been whatever I need him to be, and right then, I needed someone to follow and watch over my future—her.
I found myself Googling how to ask a girl on a date ... which I will say didn't work. I followed all their directions, too. I waited until she was on a break, until she was alone. She doesn't like fuss, so I kept things low key. I had a small bunch of flowers, and I told her that I liked her and enjoyed the short amount of time we've talked. Then I politely asked her if she'd join me for lunch. As soon as I asked, she froze up, and after a few beats of dead silence, she declined my offer.
I couldn't stay away from her, though. I needed to be held captive by those doe eyes of hers again. I needed to own and possess her. These needs were so strong that it even scared me how insistent the feeling was. I've toned it down as much as I can when she's near me. It got so bad that I couldn't even stand Emmett trailing her as close as he had been. I needed him to step back from her. I needed all men to stay away from her; she is mine—only mine.
I began watching her myself, like I really should have been from the beginning. My father said if you loved someone, you watched over and protected them, and she is mine.
It started small; I would seek her out at work. I always made sure I was close to wherever she had to work. It went from there to me following her home at night. It was dark, and she lived a few blocks away. She seemed to walk most of the time. I justified walking her as her boss and co-worker. I wanted to be sure she was safe.
Then I started feeling weird when I couldn't see her. Even if I knew she was home alone. That's when the phone calls to her started, and I kept tabs on her email. I even got a telescope and rented the apartment across the street. I took photos of her as much as I could. I have over a thousand of them. I even photoshopped some, putting myself in them with her; we make a really great-looking couple.
Two months ago, when I was watching her through the telescope, I saw something that made my blood boil. Some guy came to her apartment, and I watched them arguing. I wished that I could've heard what they were saying. I leapt off my seat as he grabbed her. I was just about out the door when my cell rang. I looked to see that Emmett was calling. He told me to sit tight, that he was handling it.
I made my way back to the telescope and saw Emmett at her door. I watched him point at the guy a few times and watched the guy shouting at Emmett. Then I watched Emmett pull the guy out of her place and make him leave. Looking back to Bella, I saw her sitting with her knees curled under her, crying. I had no idea what to do; I'd never been around people crying before. Emmett and his wife, Rose, were living in the apartment next to her, and soon Rose was comforting her. I wished it was me holding her, but I knew right now she wouldn't let me in.
Emmett reported to me that the man, Mike Newton, was her ex. He had heard the shouting and went to investigate. He said Mike told Bella that she wasn't woman enough to keep any man, that her frigid ass could turn anyone gay.
That was when I set up this new plan. First I paid a visit to Mike Newton, and boy, did I work off some aggression on his ass. Next was to offer her a job she couldn't refuse. A job that would take her away from everything she knew and give her a new place to start over.
I offered her a full-time design job in my Edinburgh office with a three-year contract. It included a flat with utilities included, car service, and double the wages she made now. She thought it through for two weeks before signing her name on the dotted line. She had one month to have her affairs in order in the States before she had to report to her new job.
I was glad to be going home, and I had many things to prepare. I had only meant to be in the United States for three weeks but had stayed twenty-two weeks.
I still was able to read her emails. She mainly only corresponded with a friend from Forks named Angela. I made excuses to call her at work so I could hear her voice.
I only left before her because I needed to get her flat set up. I called Jasper as soon as I arrived; he handles my computer, alarms, and security stuff. He was surprised when I asked him to set up the flat to my specs but did what I asked. There are cameras in every room; I can see every angle, and I also can hear every sound in the place. Everything is hidden so well, that Alice, Jasper's wife, didn't notice anything when she was decorating the flat for me. I left her three weeks ago to come home, and by God, it has been the longest three weeks of my life.
I look back at the screen and see my girl still sound asleep on her bed. I can hear the faint sound of her soft snore.
"Oh, how I've missed you, my Bella. I can't wait until Monday so I can touch you again." I enlarge the picture of her face and stroke my finger down her jawbone.
I spent the weekend watching and listening to her in her new home. I couldn't stand waiting until Monday to speak to her, so I called her to welcome her to rainy Scotland.
I watched her smile at her phone when my name came up; I had already programmed some numbers—my numbers being the first few.
She answers while biting her lip. I watch the blush come over her face as she speaks to me. I know that she finds me attractive, and I chuckle a little as I see her trip while she paces. This short call makes everything I've done so far worth it.
Monday morning is Bella's first day at her new job, and I am on top of the world.
"Good morning, Mr. Cullen."
I don't look Mrs. Stanley's way but give her a little nod to say I heard her. I walk into my office and hang up my coat. I click on the computer so I can see Bella. She has changed again. I smile, shaking my head. God, this girl—what is she doing to me?
Before I left, she had on a black, pin-striped skirt and jacket; now she's wearing a solid, light blue dress-suit. I watch her head back to her closet. As she opens the door, I change the view so that I, too, can see inside her closet.
"Oh, please, baby, choose the fitted, short-sleeved shirt and the tight-ass skirt. I love seeing your arms, and that skirt makes your ass look edible."
Her hand hovers at the skirt, and my eyes just about pop out. "Oh, please, baby, it would make my fucking day if you wore that."
Her hand grabs it and she begins to change again. I watch intently, enjoying the view. I reach out and trace my fingers around the lion-shaped birthmark she has on her hip. It is like a sign to me, which proves she was put on this earth for me. The lion not only happens to be a large part of my family crest, but it has always been my favorite animal.
After Bella changes, I get to work. I am still able to hear her moving around. After a short time, I glance back at the screen and admire her. "Fuck, Miss Swan, you will not be leaving my side today," I say, feeling uncomfortable from the hardness in my pants.
The tap on the door makes her jump; as she jumps, she stubs her toe on the foot of the bed. I watch her hop for a few minutes, after shouting "coming" to the door. Bella slips her shoes on and just opens the door without looking to see who was there.
"That's something you're going to have to change, Miss Swan. It won't happen again!"
Even though I knew it was Jane, she didn't. I watch Jane lead Bella out to the waiting car. I change views to the car. Yeah, I even installed cameras in the car. After her later than expected arrival, I had Jasper install them over the weekend. Not even Jane is aware of the cameras. Jane is Bella's personal driver and bodyguard. When I gave the job offer, I used the fact that the driving is so different in the UK that it would be best if she had a driver. She is allowed to use the driver whenever she needs; the car is a simple phone call away.
I carry on with my work, knowing that she will be here with me soon. As they arrive, I tell Mrs. Stanley to show Bella straight in. It's not even five minutes later when there is a small tap at my door.
"Enter, Miss Swan," I call out. I watch as the door slowly opens and she walks in. I scan her up and down, and she looks even hotter than she did before she left her flat. This woman is certainly my own personal forbidden fruit, one which I can hardly wait to bite into.
"Good morning, Mr. Cullen."
I smile at her. "Edward ..." She looks at me, confused. "I was thinking that since we will be working closely together that we could—you could call me by my first name, which is Edward."
I watch her smile and nod her head at me.
"Could I—I mean, is it all right if I call you Bella?" I shake my head at my slip; I only know that she prefers to be called Bella because of my watching her. "I mean Isabella?"
I watch the blush appear on her face, and I cover my moan with a cough. "I would like that, Mr. Cu ... Edward."
I smile back at her and decide to take the chance. "Is that an okay for Isabella or Bella?"
"Is ..." She shakes her head. "Bella, please. I like it much better than Isabella. I mean, Isabella sounds more professional, so whatever you think."
"Well, if you're leaving me to choose, then it shall be Bella. The name suits you, after all. Now, before we get down to business, how has your weekend been? Do you like the flat? Is everything to your satisfaction?"
She looks at me only for a short moment, nodding her head. "The flat is beautiful, thank you."
"Before we start, I would like to address something that has been troubling me."
Her face pales in color. "Have I done something wrong?"
The worry in her voice makes me want to hug her and tell her everything is okay, but I know I can't yet. I mean, what the hell was she thinking not looking first to see who was at her door? "Please don't ever answer your door at the flat without first checking to see who is knocking."
Her eyes widen and she looks a little shocked. "How—when—but ..."
I hold my hand up. "Bella, I know you did this, and I will let this go just this once, but don't let it happen again. Are we clear?"
She nods her head at me without saying a word.
"Well, why don't we get to work? I am working on some building designs for a company in Italy."
I show her the requirements, and she sits down with a board and begins to draw her ideas. I watch her out of the corner of my eye, seeing that she's being too heavy on her pencil. I move to her and stand behind her. I lean over her, taking in a deep breath, filling my lungs with her scent. I hold in the scent as long as I can, enjoying it to its fullest.
"Ease up a little, Bella. Angle the board this way." I slowly run my hand down her arm, seeing that I'm leaving a trail of goose bumps along the way. "Let's change the pencil, too. Fs are good for tracing, but for this job, we need to use HBs." I hand her a different pencil and then cover her hand with mine. "You want a lighter stroke, almost gentle. See how light this is?"
I keep my hand covering hers as we start on her drawing together. I see her smile, and I let go; her touch was starting to overwhelm me.
"Thank you, Mr. ... Edward." I look at her, feeling the need to kiss her. It is Bella who draws back from me. I frown at the loss of proximity that we had.
"It's my pleasure, Bella. It's lunch time; will you join me for a working lunch? I would like to discuss your contract and talk over your job expectations."
She agrees and we eat lunch in my office. As we are about done, Mrs. Stanley calls to tell me that Bella's office is ready.
"I have a surprise for you," I say and she looks at me in confusion. I put my hand out. "Come with me."
She looks at my hand then takes it lightly. Once she's on her feet, she quickly pulls it free. I lead her to the office next door. I point to the nameplate beside the door and she looks stunned.
"Open your office door, Bella." Her hand trembles as she opens the door and we enter.
"What—how—I mean, why?"
I move toward her. "I told you that I wanted to work closely with you. If you have this office, it will make our working together more unified. You'll be working the same hours as me, so I thought this way, you're only a door away from me."
I wish she could be in my office, sitting on my desk like a pretty picture—for now, there will be a wall and door between us.
She shuffles on her feet, and it reminds me that she hurt her toe this morning. "Please, Bella, have a seat."
I help her to sit on the soft leather sofa along the wall. I drop to my knees, remove her shoes, and begin rubbing her foot.
"Edward—I mean, Mr. Cullen, what are you doing? This isn't appropriate," she says, trying to pull her foot back, but I keep massaging it.
"You hurt your foot. I'm trying to help ease the pain you must still be feeling."
She pulls her foot back again, and this time I let go. "How did you know?"
I give her a smile. "I know you, Bella—a lot more than you think I do."
Bella looks around the office; it's almost to her exact taste. She gets up, looking at the pictures on display. There are a bunch of homey things to make her feel comfortable. There are even personal photos. As she takes it all in, she turns to me.
"How—where did you get these? I mean, some of these I thought were lost forever?" she says picking up one of her dad taken in his uniform.
"I have my ways, Bella. I know that you miss them; this was the best I could do for you."
Bella rubs her face. "I'm not going to lie, but this is a little creepy and it's making me a little uncomfortable."
I frown, looking around the room. "That's not what I wanted. I wanted—needed—you to like it here. I'm sorry; I just know what it's like to lose both your parents. I'm sure you were a better child than I was, but the hurt is still the same. If I could have a picture of my family—if someone could hand me one—I would gladly take it," I say, not looking her way.
"Edward, I am sorry. It's just a little overwhelming to see a lot of the things I've always wanted right here. My favorite books are on one shelf, and my favorite paintings are hanging on the walls. This kind of explains the flat. It was you who choose the stuff in it, right?"
I nod my head but remain quiet.
"For what it's worth, thank you for the pictures of my parents. I'm sorry to hear about yours."
I shake my head. "They've been dead a long time, before you were even born."
Bella looks at me with pity and understanding. Her understanding makes me feel great, but the pity is not something I want—I've had more than my share.
Bella has been here for four months now; we're still stuck in limbo. I take two steps forward and one step back with her. She has been receiving some emails from that douchebag, Mike. I really don't understand him; half his emails are begging her to come back. He apparently needs her as a front for his parents and employer. She always replies to him with a fast rejection. The emails have recently become downright mean, so I've been watching her email more closely and deleting them before she sees them. I know how much they upset her, so I say be proactive and head them off.
I've also taken to going in her flat and office when she is busy elsewhere. I have been finding things that she's misplaced or fixing things for her, like one of her necklaces that broke the other day when she was putting it on. I've looked through all her movies and music, so that I could buy the same ones. When she finally comes to my place, I'll have the things she likes. I've also taken some odds and ends. Pieces of clothing, like those sinful black lace undergarments she took off last week. The most important thing I've acquired is her passport; it's now locked in my safe.
I've gone in a few times when she's been sleeping. I'm glad she's a heavy sleeper. I wanted some close-up pictures of her, and she looks like an angel when she's sleeping.
I have found out more about her as well. Bella is a creature of habit; she gets up at the same time every morning and does the same stuff in the same routine. Even her cycle comes precisely on time every twenty-eight days and is gone five days later. She gets bad cramps on the day before her cycle starts and only spots on the third day. She enjoys eating chocolate and fattening things during her cycle too. I've learned she isn't as perfect as I'd thought. Bella can't cook; she really does burn water—or rather the pan she was boiling water in. Her left breast is one half a cup size bigger than her right. She bites her nails when she's thinking and reading. She's very messy and doesn't put things back in the correct order. All of these little imperfections make me love her more.
"No, Daddy—please, Daddy!"
I sit right up, looking at Bella on the monitor by my bed. She's crying out and thrashing around her bed. "Daddy, come back—don't leave me, please."
I run out of my flat, jumping down the stairs to her door. I go to use my key, but I second-guess myself and begin knocking on the door.
"Bella, open up, it's Edward," I say, banging my fist on the door again. I take out the key just as the door opens. Before my brain can catch up, I pull her toward me and hug her. She returns the hug right away, and then her body freezes and she pushes me away.
"Edward, what are you doing here, and why are you in your boxers?"
I look back at her. "I was staying in the flat upstairs, and I heard you shouting. I was worried. I thought that you were hurt or something."
She blushes and looks upset. "I'm so sorry. Was I really that loud? Oh, God," she says, covering her face with her hands.
I shake my head at her. "Bella, I was sitting on the balcony, and you sleep with your window open. That's how I heard you."
She looks me up and down. "You were out on your balcony like that?"
I chuckle a little. "No, of course not. I thought I would strip before coming down here," I joke. "I guess I hoped that my naked chest would scare away your attacker if there was one."
I hear her chuckle and I reach for her, touching her arm. "Are you okay, Bella?"
She looks at me and nods yes, but her eyes tell me no. "I'm fine, thank you, Edward. I'd like to get back to bed now, so ..." She pointed to the door.
I know that she's asking me to go, but I want to stay so badly. "Bella, I'm just upstairs if you need anything; anything at all. Call me, and I'll be right here."
She scrunches her brow but nods her head. I leave and make my way upstairs. I lay on my bed watching the monitor by my head. I see Bella is back in bed, and I place a kiss on my finger then touch it to her cheek.
"Good night, beautiful."
I'm waiting to buy coffee before heading to work.
"What would you like, sir?"
"I'd like a large coffee with heavy cream, a large hot chocolate, and a chocolate chip muffin."
She nods her head at me. Today is the start of Bella's cycle, and I know she'll need this.
"That's five pounds, sir."
I open my wallet and hand her the currency.
"Oh, is that your wife?" The woman beside me asks, looking at the picture of Bella.
I turn to the older woman and shake my head. "She's my girlfriend, but I'm in love with her, so hopefully soon I'll have the privilege of calling her my wife."
The women smiles at me as she nods. "She surely is a beauty. You will make pretty babies."
I look at her and give her a smile and a nod before collecting my drinks and making my way to my office.
Having children with Bella ... I feel myself smile at the thought. Bella—the mother of MY children, that's a better thought. I feel my heart beating faster. Closing my eyes in the lift, I can see our children running around. We'd be a great family, and Bella would be a stay-at-home mother. I know she'd kick up a fuss, but she'd give in to be there for the children. I could always just keep her knocked up, so she couldn't go back to work. I wonder how many children we will have. My mental thoughts are cut off when the door slides open with a ding.
"Good morning, Mr. Cullen."
I nod at Mrs. Stanley before knocking on the open door to Bella's office.
"This is for you, Bella. It's good after a restless night." I place both the coffee and muffin down on her desk.
She looks at them then looks at me. She takes a taste of the coffee and smiles.
"How did you know how I took my coffee? I mean, I know that you get it every morning, but how did you know that today I would want heavy cream, not skim milk?"
I give her a smile. "I told you many times, Bella. I know you."
She doesn't say anything; she just looks lost in thought.
The more I think about it, the more I know not only do I want Bella, but I want us to have a family. I know what I need to do; I leave the office on my new mission. After doing my investigating, I have it all worked out. Two weeks later, I am letting myself back into her flat. I take her birth control packet out of the medicine cabinet. I replace them with vitamins that are good for people trying to have a baby. It took a little time and a load of money, but I managed to get ones that looked like her pills and even had them placed in the same packaging.
I watch as Bella orders take-out Chinese; it's one of her normal places, so I don't have to call to tell them not to send a guy to deliver it. I called every place she uses normally and offered them fifty pounds a month to not send a man to deliver any of her orders. I was not taking any chances.
I watch her painting her toenails a nice green color; it's almost the same as my eyes. I don't dare hope that she's doing this because of me. I look at the door camera as Bella jumps up to answer the door. I smile as I see she looks to see who it is first. I stop dead when I see a guy standing there with her meal. I watch him look her up and down; the fucker even licks his lips. Of course he would, she's standing there in shorts and a tank top.
He hands her the food and takes the currency she hands him. As soon as her door closes, I am out of my seat and heading down to the car lot.
I see the guy as he makes his way to his car. I barge into him before he can get in. A quick hit to the side of his ribs, and he lets out a groan as his body slides to the ground. I drag him up and slam him into the side of the car.
"You fucking listen to me. That is my girl that you were ogling, and I don't allow that fucking shit. Don't you ever talk to her or look her way again. If you do, I'll fuck you up so badly your mother won't recognize you. SHE. IS. MINE!"
I give him one more hit before leaving him in a heap on the ground.
Bella and I have been working for the past two hours; she's sitting so close to me. MINE; she is MINE; I need to make her MINE.
"Bella, let me take you to dinner."
She stops and looks at me. "Edward, I told you that I can't—I'm sorry."
She goes to get up, but I can't allow her to go or say no to me anymore.
"Please, Bella? Please, I swear you will enjoy it. I won't hurt you. I could never hurt you. Please let me in?"
She shakes her head and gets up, moving toward the door of my office. I jump up and close the door. I move my other hand and lock it, taking the key out.
"Edward, let me out."
I shake my head, moving closer to her. "No, I can't. I need you to hear me out."
I hear her sigh as she looks at me with wide eyes. "Edward, please step back. You're making me uncomfortable."
Again I shake my head, stepping as close to her as I can. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me, but I have to tell you and make you understand. I like you so much. You're all I see, all I want. You have an amazing heart; your douchebag ex doesn't know what he's lost. I swear I won't hurt you; I can't hurt you. You mean so much to me. Please let me show you. Let me take you out—give me a chance to show you."
I see a tear run down her face, so I wipe it away and kiss her head.
"Trust me, Bella, please?"
I feel her nod her head, and I feel like I'm going to burst. I need her to say it out loud.
"Bella, please tell me I can take you out?"
"Yes, but if it's—if I don't feel anything—you need to back off or send me to another office." She raises her eyebrow at me. Like that will happen; she's mine now. I know she needs me to agree to this.
"If that's the case, I want a weekend date. I want to take you away, someplace public, but away. I swear if you don't feel anything for me ..." God, the thought makes me ill. "I'll send you anywhere you'd like to be. I have offices all over the world."
"A whole weekend, Edward? That's ..."
I place my finger over her mouth, hushing her. "I need more than a few hours. It'll take me that long to get over the walls you have guarding your heart. Plus, I may never get the chance to take you out again or spend time with you. If that is the case, I want as much time as I can get."
She closes her eyes, taking a few deep breaths, and I know that I have won.
"Fine. One weekend."
I smile at her. "Thank you, Bella. We'll leave at five on Friday."
For the rest of the day, I can't get the smile off my face.
"Hello, Mr. Cullen."
I turn, looking at Emmett, and smile. He gives me a worried look.
"I don't mean to be rude, Mr. Cullen, but are you okay? I mean, you're not taking anything, are you?"
I look back at him, shaking my head.
Emmett swallows, still looking at me intently. "So why are you so happy? I mean ..."
I chuckle, cutting him off. "I'm happy. She said YES! She's allowing me to take her on a date."
Emmett smiles at me, but I see the worry behind it. "I'm happy for you, Mr. Cullen, but don't get your hopes up too much. Bella is a lovely girl, but I don't want to see you get hurt. Just don't count your chickens before they hatch."
I roll my eyes at him. "Emmett, everything is going to be great. I can feel it, you know. She was made just for me. Don't worry, I won't rush her. I'll wait for at least our third date to pop the question."
Emmett's eyes widen and I chuckle. "She'll be my wife; I know it."
I watch as his eyes darken and he looks sad. "Mr. Cullen, just remember I am only a phone call away, no matter what. I've worked for you for fifteen years now, and we—I know, I'm your employee—but I can lend you my ear if you need it."
I give him a curt nod before walking away.
I spend the rest of my week organizing the perfect weekend away. I decide on Whiting Bay, Isle of Arran. I know that we will have quiet there. The island is quite small; the population is a mere five thousand and fifty-eight people. I call and set up the cabin and make sure it is fully stocked with all her favorite foods and drinks. Down to the music and movies available. It's perfect. I plan to spend as much time as I can with Bella alone in the cabin.
I look at the diary that I made with all of Bella's information in it. I notice that while we're away, she will be ovulating. I feel myself getting excited over the fact that this time next month, Bella could be carrying our child. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. At this rate, I will have her locked up in my home before we leave for our weekend date.
It's now Friday, and I am pacing the floor until I can go and pick up Bella. I've been watching Bella do the same in her flat; I know that she's just as excited about this as I am. I look at the clock seeing that it's five 'til five, and I decide that I have waited enough and head down to her door.
"Hi, all set to go?" She looks at me, then around her flat, and returns her look to me.
"Yes, I'm ready."
I smile at her, picking up her bag from the floor.
"So—where are we going?"
I look at her before pulling the car out onto the road. "We're going to Arran; it's an island across from Ayrshire. It's very lovely there. I'm sure you'll love it."
She looks at me, confused. "So, we're getting on a boat?"
I smile at her. "Aye, we are, but first we have some driving to do. It takes about two hours to get to the ferry."
She nods her head at me and begins looking out the window.
"Wow! It's amazing how quickly everything turns into the countryside here."
I nod my head at her. "Yeah, that's one of the reasons I love Scotland so much. Wait until you see Arran, and maybe next time you'll allow me to take you to Holly Isle. It's so beautiful and still one of the untouched places. It takes almost four hours to get to the cottage."
As we approach our destination some time later, I watch Bella's eyes dance as we move up the driveway of our temporary home. "Stay in the car please," I say. Bella looks at me as I get out. Her eyes follow me around the car, and I love it. Her watching me so intently lights a fire deep in my soul. I love knowing I have her full attention.
"Here in Scotland, we open doors for da bonnie lasses."
She shakes her head at me, but I did notice that she blushes too. This is something I noticed over the past few months. The more I speak in Scottish tones and terms, the more she blushes.
I walk her in and take both our bags to the one bedroom. Some may think I'm being cocky, but I just know that tonight Bella will be in my bed.
"I bought you a dress to wear tonight. It's on the bed if you would like to have a shower or a bath, and I will start on our dinner." She looks at me and I smile. "Please, just go with this. I know you'll love the dress."
She nods her head and walks to the bedroom. Yesterday, I picked up a dress that I saw her trying on. The look on her face when she saw the price tag is what made me choose to buy it. Since I already saw her wear it, I knew how wonderful it looked on her. I just can't wait to be the one that removes it from her tonight. I need to stop thinking of sex and make dinner. I'm making her favorite dinner—lasagna.
I pop it in the oven and head to the second bathroom to get washed and dressed. By the time I get back to the living room, Bella is there, and she looks breathtakingly beautiful.
"My Bella, you are a vision. I swear that you're a goddess. How did you get so beautiful, yet remain so sweet, pure, and adoring?" I watch the blush spread over her features as she lightly shrugs. I can't wait to see her blush without any clothing covering her skin.
"I've brought some CDs; they're over by the hi-fi. Please choose something to listen to." Bella gives me a confused look and I chuckle lightly. "The boom box," I say, pointing to the CD player.
She smiles and walks over to it as I head to the kitchen to check on dinner. I take out the lasagna and begin chopping vegetables for the salad after putting our garlic bread in the oven.
I smile as I hear Coldplay ring through the house as Bella joins me in the kitchen.
"Is there anything I can do?"
I look at her, shaking my head. "Nope. You stay way over there so our dinner doesn't burn."
She shakes her head at me. "Why would it get burned if I went near it? It's out of the oven."
I look at her, smiling. "Bella, you can burn something just by looking at it. Look at what happened to the pizza you had last week?"
Her face turns to red. "How did you know about that?"
I look up at her and swallow over my slip-up. "I was coming in and saw them deliver it to your door, and then I saw some burned pizza in your bin the next night. I noticed that you have gotten take-away quite a lot, so I assumed."
She squares her shoulders at me. "So you're the one putting rubbish in my bin then?"
I smile at her mock hurt tone. "Aye, I'm sorry, but what can I say? I'm a guy. I've got a lot of rubbish, and they only collect once a fortnight now, and I hate recycling."
I watch as she chuckles. "Yes, that has been strange having different bins for different things, but I'm getting the hang of it. I'm sure you will too, and I could help you if you'd like. In trade, you could teach me some of that sexy Scottish slang."
I nod my head at her and smile as my heart starts to beat faster, knowing that it's not even been one day and she's already planning on spending more time with me.
"Aye, that does sound like a plan."
We sit and eat our dinner and talk, really talk. I love hearing everything she has to say to me, even though I know most of it already. I still love that she trusts me enough to tell me.
"Dance with me?" I stand up. She looks at me, shaking her head. "Please, Bella? I know that you think that you can't dance, but I swear I will not let you fall, and there's only you and I here."
She smiles at me. "I better take off these shoes, because if I keep them on, I'll fall and take you down with me."
I drop to my knees and carefully pull her leg up and start taking her shoes off.
"Edward, I can take them off."
I look up at her. "I know you can, but I wanted to do it." I slowly run my hand down her leg, keeping my eyes on hers. I watch as her pupils widen. I take off her right shoe, then raise her foot to my mouth and place a soft kiss on its top. I do the same with the left, and she lets out a light sigh.
"Are you ready?" I ask as I stand before her.
She looks up at me and nods her head. I help her to stand and move us to a clear space for us to dance. I pull her to me and we begin swaying together. It doesn't take long before Bella's body melts to mine. As I feel her guard going down, I begin placing soft kisses along her shoulder then up her neck.
I am overcome with pride as she lets out a soft moan. That triggers me and I pull her even closer. I suck the flesh of her neck, marking her as mine. I feel her trying to get closer to me. I run my hands down her back, under her perfect ass, and pull her up. As I pull her up, she wraps her luscious legs around my middle.
I pull away from her a little, looking her in the eye, seeing the deep brown pools of lust.
"I'm in love with you," I tell her.
Before she can say a word, I pull her mouth back to mine and kiss her with everything I am.
"Please, baby—please let me make love to you? I need to show you how I feel. I can't hold this inside me any longer."
She doesn't say anything but nods her head. I begin kissing her again as I carry her to our bedroom. As I move to the bed, I unzip her dress. I place her on the bed and remove our clothing before moving my body over hers.
No. No. No. She won't get pregnant if we use one, think quick!
"Baby, please. I swear I'm clean. Aren't you on the pill?"
She looks at me and nods her head. "Edward, I have never done this without one—it's just ..."
I begin kissing her again, silencing her. "Shush, baby, I know. I just want to feel you. Please, baby, let me do this. I swear I'm clean, and I've not been with anyone for over a year, since I first met you."
I run my hand up her leg and rub small circles on her raised clit. She lets out a moan in response. "So, sweet girl, can I?"
She nods her head. "Aye, just don't stop," she begs, using the Scottish term.
I rub the head of my cock through her folds and move to her entrance. Looking into her eyes, I sink all the way into her wet heat. Leaving myself fully seated inside her, I smile at her. "I really do love you," I say before pulling back to stroke back inside her. The moan that rips from her lips urges me on, and the rhythm I set is both unremitting and pleasurable.
Reaching down between us, I feel my cock as it slides inside. I move to rub her clit as I continue thrusting into her. When her orgasm takes her over the edge, her insides start squeezing my cock and I fill her with my seed.
I smile at Bella as I watch her getting dressed.
"Are you really going to sit and watch me?"
I nod my head at her. "Aye, I am."
I watch her blush cover her face, and I crawl over and pull her to me. She eagerly comes to me and kisses me back with enthusiasm.
"Thank you for last night. It was amazing—all three times."
I smile at her, nodding my head. "Believe me, I enjoyed it too. I will never get tired of making love to you. You're my life now. I love you."
She looks down.
"What is it? Please don't shut me out. Tell me."
She looks up at me. "I'm scared that you're only saying that, you know—that you love me. I've only ever been with one guy before. Though I loved him, it just wasn't the whole 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' kind of love. When he cheated on me, it still broke heart just the same. I have no idea what I feel for you. The only clear feeling is overwhelmed. You know me so well, and I'm just so afraid to try. I'm afraid to let you in, because I know that I could fall in love with you so easily. I just have this feeling that if you were to leave me or hurt me—I don't think I could get over it. What I mean is ... I'm not there yet."
I smile at her. "Baby, I will not hurt you. You're it for me. I don't want anybody else. Just you. I know you need time, and I'll wait for you to say you love me back. Right now, I'm just happy that you've let me in and we're together here doing this."
She nods her head at me and starts to kiss me again. It doesn't take long for me to get her naked again and screaming my name.
Bella and I are on our way back home now; we spent the full weekend in bed just like I planned. Right now, my hand is running up and down her thigh. I already finger-fucked her in the car when we were on the ferry. I know right now she's close to jumping me. I tap her leg and she spreads her legs for me. I run my fingers lightly across the wetness of her undergarments.
Sticking my finger under the lace, I collect some of her juices and bring my finger to my mouth. I moan out as I taste her essence on my skin. I watch as she pulls the lace off her body, and I run my hand back up the inside of her leg. I smile as my finger touches her now uncovered pussy, and I begin rocking two of my fingers in and out of her. I love the sounds she makes, and soon she is crying out my name as I feel the gush of her juices cover my palm.
I look at her as she is beside me on the bed. She is where my laptop is normally placed. I've been watching her sleep, and I just love that I was able to wear her out so thoroughly.
"You're so fucking amazing, baby. You have no idea how often I've dreamt of this. You lying here beside me, held up in my arms. You're mine. I've been alone for so long. I really didn't think I was missing anything until I met you. In a way, I forgot what it was like to love. But that day you walked into me, I felt it, and I knew you were meant for me. I wanted to—no, more like I needed to know about you. I made it my mission; I had to learn about you. And learn I did. Everything I learned made me love you so much more.
"When that fucker of an ex of yours turned up at your place, I knew I had to get you away. I've never been jealous in my life, but I was jealous of him. I knew that you were no longer together, but he had held you and kissed you. I knew you would take the job if I offered it to you, so I did it. Since I still needed to watch over you and protect you, I made sure that I could always watch over you. I even delete his emails so he can't contact and upset you anymore. I have spent a lot of time and money to be sure that I can watch over you all of the time. You're the only thing that matters to me in my life.
"I would sleep here and my laptop would be beside me where you are. I would always have you there on my screen; I was watching you like I was your personal guardian angel. I watched you as you tried to make meals and failed. I watched as you chewed your nails as you read a book. The whole time I would be up here alone wishing that I was right next to you.
"Since meeting you and bringing you here, my dreams have been altered. I now dream that we are married and have a few kids running around, two boys and two girls. Our oldest will be a boy, followed by our girl, who looks just like her beautiful mother. We will certainly need a shotgun for her when she is older, such a sweet bonnie. I planned our weekend date using everything I learned about you. I wanted to show that I can be your perfect guy. That's something I've never been. I was never the perfect son, friend, or lover, but I can be your perfect husband and so much more. I swear if you even come to love me half as much as I love you, I will die a happy man."
I kiss her head and move to her belly. "I do so hope you are in there, my sweet wee one." I place another kiss there before pulling her toward me, falling into a deep sleep.
I slowly wake and feel for Bella, not finding her. I open my eyes and look to her side of the bed and see that it is empty. As my hand runs over the bed, I feel the cool sheets. I sit up quickly, worried about where she could be.
"Baby, where are you?"
Not getting a reply, I jump up and look around my flat. Moving to the door, I see that her bag is gone. I start to feel the immense panic course through my body. I run to my computer and click onto Bella's flat.
"No. No. No!" I scream out. All I can see are clothes, books, CDs, papers, and artwork thrown all around. Like her flat was ravaged. She is nowhere to be found in the flat on the monitors, but I still jump up and run down there. I go in and I see that everything that I have bought for her is all over the place. I start to feel my chest tightening, and I run back to my flat. Going to the safe, I see that it's open and that her passport and documents are no longer inside. Last night when I placed our documents in there, I shouldn't have told her the code.
I am violently ill and run for the bathroom. After cleaning up, I go to get dressed, when a piece of paper catches my eye. I pick it up and begin to read it.
I am sorry, but I have to leave. After what I learned last night during your bedtime confession, I just can't stay. I can't believe how you played me and purposely made me care for you. I was so ready to say that I loved you back, but then I learn this is nothing more than you controlling me. I've been controlled all my life, by this or that action or person. I can't and won't do this; I need to live for me, my way.
Last night I learned a lot of things about you and about myself too. First, I learned that I don't really know who you are. Your words sounded crazy, and I know that you need help. I'm really not sure that you love me; I think you're just plain obsessed with the idea of me. Get help, because you need it. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself.
You promised me that you would allow me to go if it didn't work out, and I hope you are a man of your word. I have taken my passport and travel documents. Don't bother trying to find me; I will never go where I think you'll look. I will check my email periodically, and you may contact me via email for the time being, but don't bother unless you're in therapy. I need time to sort my head out, and I think you do too. I, too, will be seeing a therapist.
I am sorry for leaving in the middle of the night, but if I woke you, I had a feeling you wouldn't have let me go. Goodbye, Edward.
As I read the letter again, my vision becomes glazed and I fall to the floor. I can feel my heart beating so fast, it feels as if it will pound out of my body. I gasp and all I feel is pain. All I want is to be numb again. I need to find her and make her understand that I can't live without her. I won't live without her. If she will not come back to me, then I want to be left alone, curled up somewhere awaiting my death.
I need help. I can't lose her. I can't think straight. What should I do? Suddenly, it hits me, and I pick up my cell and dial Emmett's number. As if he already knows, I hear him say, "I'm on my way."
A/N: There will be a follow up chapter to this... a two shot of sorts... It will post in a few weeks from this being posted. Keep in mind Nikky and I both are all about HEA. When we entered the contest we followed the rules stating 10K word count max... or the HEA would have been a part of this and we wouldn't have taken it the direction it went. Hope that you like this, it didn't fair well in the contest at all. Thanks for reading and reviewing, (Nikky) & Kasi~