So... finally got this story done... I'm sorry if it didn't work out as you guys wished... but I do have other's in the mix...

Lemme know what you think ^^


"You sure you're gonna be okay?"

Lavi looked up from his suitcase, his lips pulling into a grin at the sight of the younger.

"Yeah," the red hair nodded, "I… we gotta get away from all this… gotta take a break."

"But… Portugal!?"

"Better than sitting here and letting it fester like a wound," the elder pointed out, "so, I'll be off and you and Yuu can work it out!"

"Do NOT call me that!"

The two of them jumped at the sound of the voice, their eyes wide as they looked towards where Kanda lay.

"Damn he's got good hearing," Allen mumbled, Lavi simply shrugging in response.

"Well, make sure he uses it," the elder ginned as he grabbed his suitcase and pulled it through the hall, "yeah?"

"I'll… I'll try…"

"Hey, come on," the elbow nudged the younger's arm, "where's you're spunk gone?"

Allen glanced up to the other, his face fallen slightly as he sighed deeply.

"Guilty," he mumbled, "and rightfully so…"

"Well… no… I mean… okay, yeah," Lavi agreed, "you should feel guilty… but maybe not as much as you claim-"

"I manipulated both of you-"

"Ya didn't really-"

"Lavi."

"Not at the beginning," the elder pointed out, his arms hoisting the luggage down the stairs, "and… let's face it, things spiralled way out of control and then… things happened."

"I almost destroyed every friendship in this house," Allen muttered, "tell me how that isn't a bad thing?"

"I'm not saying it ain't," Lavi shrugged, "and… yeah, I'm kinda mad at you, and so is Kanda-"

"I'd think you guys stupid if you didn't," the younger pointed out, "and because I've done all this, why should I get what I want?"

"You don't; you get Yuu," Lavi grinned, laughing as his arm was smacked.

"Lavi, I'm serious!"

"So am I," he chuckled, "and you know Kanda better than anyone. He's sour, cruel, bitter, has worse mood swings than a PMS-ing girl-"

"Please, stop flattering me," a voice grumbled as the tall form slipped down the stairs, his hands in his pockets.

The atmosphere turned awkward as soon as the elder appeared on the scene, the silver and cobalt refusing to look at each other while Lavi stood in the midst of the tension.

"Right," the redhead started, unable to beat the atmosphere, "I'll off then!"

"You sure you don't want us to see you off?"

"A hundred and ten percent," Lavi announced, "good luck Allen."

"Thanks-"

Lips silenced him, the silver eyes flinging wide at the once familiar contact. Kanda stood in as much surprise as Allen was, Lavi pressing the younger close to him with a hand around the small of the back his eyes gently closed. Parting, Allen could only find himself blinking in shock, his eyes searching for some sort of answer.

"Anything?"

"N-No," Allen swallowed as he shook his head, "sorry…"

"Just as well," Lavi murmured, "kinda… starting to fade on my end too."

"Right," the younger nodded, grateful to be released from the other's grip.

"Now, behave you two," the redhead grinned, the door creaking open, "and good luck!"

Allen nodded as he waved to the elder, the shutting door leaving him and the elder alone in the silence.

Material brushed along similar fabric as Kanda moved away from the young man, his body folding on the couch with a soft thump, Allen following almost awkwardly, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

"We can't talk with you sitting over there," the elder grumbled.

"I prefer my eyes to be unblemished, thank you." Allen commented, ignoring the truth that he probably rightfully deserved it.

His usual 'Che emanating from his lips, Kanda leaned against the back of the couch, his eyes to the ceiling before he turned to look at the younger.

"So," Kanda started, "I'm guessing I shouldn't ask for an explanation."

"I haven't got one," Allen shook his head, "at least, not one that is sound."

"I know your memories and fantasies got flipped around," the elder pressed, "so for that I… kind of understand… but why continue it? Why go that far?"

Allen's deep breath expelled slowly, his eyes avoiding the other's while he searched for an answer.

"It just… felt good," he admitted weakly, "it felt good to have you like me… or at least pretend to have you like me."

"I wasn't… not exactly…"

Silver orbs looked to the elder, waiting patiently for him to speak.

"Like I… mentioned… like Lavi mentioned," Kanda seemed to have difficulty with his words, "yeah… you grew on me," he sighed deeply, "at first… I thought I'd just let it fizzle out, I knew nothing would come of it since you made it plain as day how you felt about me."

"Oh," Allen mumbled, his head hanging while Kanda pressed on.

"It didn't," the elder admitted quietly, "and Lavi was better at noticing others than you or I did so he asked me if he could date you, provided I was okay with it…"

"And you said yes?"

"Isn't it that obvious?" the Japanese asked with a soft laugh, "I thought… maybe I could stop feeling whatever the hell it was I was feeling and let you move on."

"You and me both," the younger admitted quietly, the confused face forcing him to press on, "when… when Lavi asked me out… I thought that… even though I didn't feel for him like that… like I do for you…" he swallowed, "but… I thought… if I could transfer what I felt for you onto him… that would be the end of it."

"And it wasn't?"

"Gee, what gave that away?" Allen snorted, "things… didn't work out and… and when I became aware of what I had done… both before and after the accident…" his head hit the back of the couch, "God I'm disgusting."

"I wouldn't say so…"

Silver eyes flickered back towards the elder.

"You just… things got out of control and none of us handled it like we should've…"

"Me especially."

"No arguing with you there," Kanda murmured, "but there are a million different things I wish we all went back and changed. But… since we can't we'll just have to live with what we've done."

"What if… what if I don't think I can?"

"Don't give me that."

The dark eyes were steely as they stared down the younger, the silver orbs quivering slightly.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," Kanda pressed, "you know you're stronger than that, stronger and too stubborn."

"Thought you hated that about me," Allen mumbled, the fingers underneath his chin surprising him, Kanda giving no inclination that he had move towards the other.

"Moyashi, I just told you something no other human will ever hear," the elder murmured, the softness making Allen's heart stop, "you think I only like you because I wanted to change you?"

Searching, Allen found no lies nor deceit hiding in Kanda's eyes, his face falling as he made to rest his head on the other's chest.

"Damn I wish the car had paralyzed me instead of screwing with my brain," the younger found himself saying, the other only chuckling in response.

"On the one hand, so do I," Kanda murmured, his fingers reaching to slip around the younger's form, "on the other, I'm glad that this is the result of the accident."

"Y-Yeah?"

"You could have died, lost a limb, organ failure, become brain dead-well… more brain dead than you already are…"

"Hey!" Allen thumped his chest, "jerk!"

"You expect me to change?" Kanda asked indignantly, his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"No," the younger mumbled, "you're more stubborn than I am…"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am-I am not doing this," the elder told him, "but… honestly."

"Honestly?" Allen sighed softly, "honestly… I'm the same… I didn't fall for you because I thought I could change you."

Shrugging his shoulders in response, Kanda let his back lounge against the couch, the younger in his arms stirring slightly before he pulled his body up off the elder's chest.

"Kanda," it was the other's turn to be tongue-tied, "how… how mad at me are you?"

"Still pretty damn frustrated," he admitted, "might not forgive you."

"I can understand that," Allen whispered.

"Still…" the elder practically hated himself for the words about to come out of his mouth, "I… I didn't fully hate… hate it…"

"So… where does it leave us?" the younger finally asked quietly, "I-I mean… um…."

For the second time in the day lips covered his, effectively cutting off his words.

"Wish people would stop doing that," Allen mumbled blushing.

"No you don't," Kanda muttered, "but this doesn't mean I forgive you."

"I know," the younger confessed, "but… but I don't deserve it-"

"Everyone gets what they do and don't deserve," the Japanese told him, "who are we to say what that is?"

"So you honestly believe a guy who did all… that… deserves anything?" Allen asked with his eyebrow raised.

"Well… no," Kanda murmured, "but I'm giving you a chance here, if you were smart you'd take it."

"But according to you I'm not smart," the younger pointed out, a cheek grin on his features.

"Thought whatever I said was a lie," the other grinned.

"But now you're contradicting yourself," Allen told him, "is that a lie and do you tell the truth or is that the truth, in which case it was a lie and-"

The younger had stopped speaking when he saw the elder chuckle, his arms over his chest while the young man appeared confused.

"What?"

"You genuinely smiled, bakamoyashi," Kanda murmured, "for the first time in… what? Five years? You finally smiled."

Allen stared silently at the other, his face falling slightly.

"You… noticed?"

"Baka Allen," the elder whispered, his body lifting off the couch, his long fingers touching the younger's nose, "I told you didn't I; I'm as interested in you as you are with me."

For the second time in the day, Allen felt himself smile genuinely. His absolutely did not deserve what Kanda was offering to him and he vowed to spend the entirety of his life to make it up to his friends. For now, as he timidly slipped into the strong arms, he prayed that his mind was no longer addled by the accident.

"Kanda…"

"We're not finished," Kanda murmured, "far from it… but it's a first step… don't you dare wimp out on me."

"Wasn't planning on it," Allen admitted, "just… thank you…"

"For what?"

"For something I don't deserve," the younger whispered, the guilt in his heart lessened by the arms around him, trusting in himself that he could make it work, something he should have done in the first place.


Sooo... how badly did I do? Honestly I didn't think I could do much more with it... I hope I gave you guys something you enjoy ^^

Love you guys for sticking with me!