Disclaimer: In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.
Authors Note: This is a writing exercise, I'm supposed to write a crossover fic. I figured I might as well post it. Just so we are clear, this is not Harry/Cher, I only have them as the main characters because you have to include one from each section, mkay? Also, Petunia is BLONDE according to the books, so she is blonde in this story as well. And another note, this is based off of the movie Clueless, I have not seen, nor do I have any interest in seeing the TV show. With all that I know they've changed, I have no interest in it. Without further ado, Here is the prologue of 'A Clueless Cousin'.
When Petunia Dursley opened up her door to find a baby on her doorstep, she was less than enthused. She quickly brought the baby in, and pondered what to do with it. Finding the letter, her face paled dramatically. She knew that she didn't want that unnaturalness in her house, but Vernon would be even worse if he knew. She stowed the baby away in he closet, and put the milk bottles out. Thankfully the baby made no noise, and after seeing Vernon off to work, she sighed in relief that Dudley was such a heavy sleeper, and took little Harry out of the closet. His bright green eyes opened, and she stared at those eyes. Her little sister's eyes. Petunia's composure broke, and she allowed herself to cry quietly for the death of her sister. They hadn't always gotten along, but they were still family.
Even so, she didn't want the little brat in her house. She sat him up in Dudley's highchair, and feed him some applesauce. He didn't say anything, didn't cry, only looked at her curiously with those little green eyes. Lily's eyes, haunting Petunia from beyond the grave. What could she do? There was nothing to do. Dumbledore insisted on leaving Harry with Petunia, his only living relative. Wait. But she wasn't! Petunia wasn't Harry's only relative! There was always Jasmine. The older sister that their grandmother had doted on, the oldest, the sweetest, the prettiest, kindest, most perfect. She had moved with their grandmother to the states back before they learned Lily was a witch, and she should still be living there now! Petunia scrambled to find the phone, thankful that Vernon had several overseas clients and their home phone had international calling. She looked up the number. The phone rang for a long time before someone answered.
"Who the hell is this!? Do you know what time it is!? Some of us have to work in the morning!" that would be Jasmine's husband, Petunia inwardly cursed, how could she have forgotten about the time differnce.
"This is Petunia, Jasmine's sister? I live in England, I'm sorry it's eight in the morning here-" but Mel wasn't listening.
"Petunia darling, did you have to call at such an hour, I do need my beauty sleep," Jasmine yawned.
"Lily's dead Jasmine," Petunia started to cry again.
"Oh my! I knew I should have keep better contact with her. What about her husband? And the baby! Is the baby okay?"
"Her husband is dead as well, I have Harry," Petunia informed her.
"Is he alright?"
"I think so. He hasn't made any noise or anything. But Jasmine, I can't take care of him! It's hard enough with Dudley, and I hate to say it, but we can't afford a nanny. I don't know what to do!"
"Think nothing of it little sister. Mel and I have more than enough money. And Cher could use a playmate. I'll fly out first thing in the morning. Do you have all of the papers?" Jasmine asked. Petunia was relieved, thankfully Dumbledore had included official papers. She hadn't signed them, and now she didn't have to.
After finishing her conversation, she hung up, dried her eyes and flipped her long blonde hair and smirked.
Take that you miserable old coot.
Authors Note 2: Like all authors, I really appreciate reviews!