As The Coriander Blooms.
In A Trade With kiddeathx.
Like how most love stories begin, we start at Arkham Asylum.
Batman had failed to catch the Joker in his speeding boat, but got Harley Quinn, so at least she was off the streets. Robin had also been busy, and got Poison Ivy away from her new breed of man-eating plants. So Arkham had gone into lockdown long enough for the two villainess to be escorted to their cells.
So, the two met in the holding cell, as the soldiers (Arkham decided it was better just to hire army men.) went through the procedures to assure the two couldn't escape, at least not without outside help. Both girls had been covered in straight-jackets, Ivy had a special one that prevented her from poisoning any Arkham personal.
Harley had been thinking, something she found herself doing a lot during her stay in the Asylum before the Joker came and got her out. (As well as him at the same time, she was more of a afterthought.)
It took at least five years, but she thought that the Joker wasn't worth it.
Sure, a job as a white-coat psychologist would be boring, but it would pay better than her allowance, and it would prevent her from being thrown around by Joker, Batman, guards, Joker, Batman, guards…but at this point, she didn't know if her license had been pulled (It got pulled as soon as she fired a bazooka inside of Arkham.)
So, now what? Stay in Arkham for her sentence? All 256 years? No wait, that was number of days she spent here. It was 10 to the power of 5. Okay, with good behavior, that would be knocked down to the power of 4. Turn in the Joker, confess all in court, make it sound like she was forced into a life of crime? Maybe the judge would be nice enough to make it the power of 2. Okay, a hundred years wasn't that bad. What else could she do? Maybe by helping the Bat, he could put in a good word.
Or escape, and move to Brazil. The beaches were nice this time of year.
Okay, she never did this on her own. So, she would need help. Now, who would want to help her escape from the Asylum without having to give up too much?
"Harley, dear, you're drolling." Ivy quipped.
Red! If Harley could arrange to get her free of the constraints, the two could easily break out! And Red probably wanted to leave already, so convincing her wasn't needed. Harley smiled.
"Harley, I had a feeling you want to leave class early." Ivy said.
"Oh yeah! Could you be a dear?"
"If my hands were free, I could easily get the nice boys to help us."
Harley had secretly been working on her jacket, and after using her sharpened nails, she cut a hole big enough for her fingers to get through and undo a strap, with a quick check on the soldiers, still checking Harley's hat for bombs, knives, and yogurt.
She scooted closer to Ivy. Reaching her free arm over, she made sure to keep her attention on the wall in front of her, as to not invite attention for looking at Ivy's lower half. It was a hard thing, trying to undo a straight jacket with one hand without looking.
"Hurry, they got to my clothes." Ivy informed. Harley started to panic a bit. Her hand started to fumble around, trying to yank loose the restraint.
And then Harley's hand slipped and landed on Ivy's butt.
Both girls 'eeped.' Thankfully, the soldiers were too busy examining Ivy's dress.
"Well…" Harley said.
"I'm not going to lie, I kinda liked that." For once, Ivy sounded interested.
"Really?" Asked Harley.
"Hmm-hmm." Ivy put a leg over Harley's. "You know, we've been roommates for a long time. I feel something for you."
"Wow." Harley used her one arm to rub Ivy's leg. "I'm starting to feel it too. Maybe I'm still woozy from being hit over the head with a hammer, but you have a nice butt!"
"Go ahead." Ivy moved in a way that gave Harley full view of Ivy's rear. "Get a better feel of it."
Harley indulged in her fantasy, and went to town squeezing Ivy's butt. Ivy 'oohed' and Harley giggled. Both were blushing and enjoying every minute of it. Eventually Harley let go, and went upwards, grabbing one of Ivy's breasts as best as she could. Things picked up as Ivy pushed Harley down onto the bench and started to kiss her all over.
The soldiers had finally finished processing the evidence and were given clearance to move them to their cells. They armed their weapons and put on their protective gear and walked into something they never expected to see.
Hot lesbian sex.
They started to cheer, despite their years of training screaming at them to not, as it would allow the one with a freed arm to easily take them down and easily break loose.
Which is what happened next, so I don't have to type a fight scene.
Harley quickly freed herself and Ivy before engaging in kissing, French style.
"Hmm…who's this Joker guy?" Asked Harley. The two shared a laugh before undressing the guards.
"So, where to, love?" Asked Ivy.
"I was thinking Brazil." Harley replied, putting a helmet on. "The beaches are nice this time of year."
"Brilliant, dear." Ivy quickly redid her jacket, putting it into a quick-release knot.
And with a laugh and a kiss, the two left to enjoy a life together.