Going into the hospital room, was it only 2 days ago everything was fine, that life was reasonably normal, the team was all together ready to go and answer a call, one that would change the life of Tactical Response for ever. Never thinking that this was the day that we would lose one of the squad, that there life would be cruelly taken from us, something we couldn't see happen, it all seemed like a routine call.

IN the waiting room, hoping and praying for good news, a miracle in a way, they are operating now, they will pull through they have too. Not even seeing the other team members there, so many times we had all been in the hospital, with Kerry coming to tell us what happened, the news hadn't been good either of those times, Dom, Grace. Looking up as Tash walks in her face grim "we've operated, the news isn't good, we're managed to stop the bleeding for now, it is still touch and go" hearing a voice "can I see them?" as Tash nods "one at a time though" following Tash to the room, pulling a chair out sitting next to them.

Reaching for their hand watching them lying helpless in the bed with tubes coming out of them the machines beeping around them, every time you close your eyes the images still haunting how they wish they could forget it all, holding them in your arms, watching as their life slips away feeling so helpless, begging them to hold on, help has arrived finally now hoping it isn't too late. How did it all happen why didn't you try more or harder, why didn't you do something before it got to this, anything, instead you let it happen, you didn't try harder to stop it, you can't lose them now, you've been together in the squad for so long. Clasping their hand you don't want to say good bye, its too hard you can't, you don't want them to go. Now looking at the machines around you pray for a miracle but it doesn't happen. Tears start to form in your eyes and no matter how hard you will them to stop or blink them back you can't and they now really begin to fall, they can't die.

…..

TWO DAYS EARLIER

Walking into the base turning to Leon "any word yet from Lawson?" shaking his head "there are still hostages in the building?" nodding at Leon "do they know who it is, or what building it is, you're brought up all cameras in the area?" bringing up the cameras turning to Kerry "I can't access the ones in the building only the lobby, need to get up there to be able to log into them" looking at the screen "you can't do that from here" shaking his head "I've tried everything" looking at the screen pointing "what about those buildings over there, can't you turn those cameras around and the ones behind" looking up at Kerry "That's illegal Kerry, can't do that" rolling her eyes at Leon sighing in exasperation "Oh Leon, I'll look away" trying to hide a smile despite her hardness he liked his boss, seeing Kerry facing him again looking up at her, her mouth open, seeing Kerry looking closely at the screen "oh shit, I know that building" closing her eyes she had been to that building so many times at one stage, the guilt kept taking her there she had a bad feeling about this, putting the head phones on, she hears Lawson's voice come through "we're managed to get through to them, Kerry it is Boyd Temper, we're trying to speak to him now" closing her eyes, a bad feeling she needed to be there "Lawson I'm on my way now.

Driving towards the building it had been two years now since she had hit the cyclist killing his brother, and a few months later that Boyd had turned up at her apartment, drunk, the guilt she felt she let him into her life and more she kept saying sorry she couldn't walk away even when she knew she should seeing the article in his apartment, she had kissed and slept with him she knew it was wrong but was drawn to him and couldn't walk away.

Walking up to Lawson her eyes fixed on his before glancing to the building "any news yet?" moving away with her "We're found that he is on the 1st floor the other floors are fine but no one above can get down, Christian and Stella are putting up eyes now" glancing at Shannon before facing Lawson "I want you to go primary on this one" nodding at Kerry if he was right he was the brother of the cyclist she hit, and if rumour was right he knew briefly that Boyd and her had something going, he had turned up at Base a few times "you know what it is about?" seeing Kerry ignoring his question looking at the building "You ok?" glancing at Lawson, she knew Boyd knew she was in Tactical Response, was it her he was after "I'm fine".

Hearing the phone ring, putting the headphones on along with Lawson "I want to speak to Inspector Kerry Vincent, I want her to come up here" biting her lips, she didn't want to see him again want any memories come back it was the past hearing Lawson's voice "You need to do something for us Boyd, release the hostages you have then we can see about you talking to Kerry" hearing Boyd's accent "No I don't want to talk to her, I WANT to see her…have Kerry come up here, then I might release some of them, but without seeing her first, then no one leaves …..you have five minutes" before hanging up the phone

Turning to face Kerry seeing her rub her eyes "You don't have to go up Kerry, not without backup" looking at the phone she knew as soon as she saw what building it was, that Boyd would want to see her, she was the one who had told him it was over she couldn't keep on apologising she didn't love him never did it was guilt and she had to move on and that meant telling Boyd it was over he had called her so many times, she had not returned any of his phone calls, she couldn't continue to apologise all the time.

Staring straight ahead she would see him, if that is what it took, she was stronger now, it was in the past she had nothing to feel guilty about she was found innocent she didn't do anything wrong, taking her head phones off glancing at Lawson "Let Boyd know, I'll come up but he needs to release the hostages, at least half of them before I enter" watching as she walks towards the building, he reaches out to her worry, he saw her after she had hit the cyclist when she went out with Leon, getting drunk her way of dealing with things he had noticed was drinking, he doubted she was thinking straight watching her walk towards the building "Your not wearing a vest" shaking her head at Lawson looking up at him "If I wear one on the outside it will say I'm scared, if I wear one underneath it will look like I'm a coward, I need him to talk to me Lawson" feeling Lawson's hand on her arm "Kerry, you don't know what he will do" staring at Lawson her eyes defiant "I'm not wearing one Lawson, he won't hurt me" her voice softer "I'll be fine"