Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go. Otherwise, I'd know a little more about Go than I really do.
Story: Hikaru was turned to the hacker world at an early age. Haunted by Sai, she reluctantly integrates Go into her carefully crafted world. Of course, she uses multiple personalities as an excuse to everyone else, seeing as how she has the bad habit of being a con artist.
Set AU.
Spoilers: Probably.
Warnings: Age difference and anyting else that comes up.
Pairings: Eventual Ogata/Hikaru, though plenty of one-sided Others/Hikaru

Split Hack
Chapter Four: Won't Treat You Like You're Oh So Typical

Ogata wasn't really sure what to do. He was stuck in the middle between panic and feeling faint. Why was that?

He was in the police station, on the edge of being arrested for attempted kidnap and public molestation of a minor.

He twitched and listened to the police, and then glanced at the fuming girl that was waiting for her statement to be taken. She glared at him, and he hung his head. This was not going his way at all. He hadn't meant for it to escalate down to this level, and now he wasn't sure what he could do to make things normal again.

He was also sure that his arrest was caught by the salon patrons if the –

"Anou, isn't that Ogata-sensei?"

"Is he being arrested?!"

"What's going on?"

-had been any indication.

"This is all a big misunderstanding," he tried to explain. "I swear! Please, just let me explain," he spoke that last part mostly to 'Sai.'

She glared at him, and he also had a feeling that her name wasn't actually Sai. It was just a gut feeling, but he was getting all sorts of out of sorts clues about the girl that didn't match up with the information she was giving out.

One, she was girl, not a boy.

Two, he was pretty sure of the name change.

Three, her eyes were the jade shade of green, her odd behavior didn't ring right with him, and he was completely and utterly right that she was trouble from the moment she walked into his life.

"Okay, explain," she demanded, halting everything and giving him space to start out his side of things.

She was trouble, but at least she'd managed to slip him some time to get his story out before the police eying him booked him and sent him into a cell without letting him say anything.

So he carefully told them exactly what he'd been trying to do, that he'd been urgent and desperate, and hadn't been thinking when he'd gone after her and was trying to get her to come after him to meet with Touya Kouyo, the Meijin.

"You could have just asked," the girl grumbled. "No need to get all grabby and creepy molester on me."

Ogata's eye twitched and he screamed inwardly.

"I am not a child molester. I told you! It's a misunderstanding!" Ogata said through gritted teeth. "I wouldn't stake my reputation as Ogata 9-dan, Pro Go player! Please, I'm really sorry."

"Eh, you're a pro?" the police commissioner looked at him more closely.

And if he wasn't mistaken, he could swear that the girl's look had sharpened at that and she was looking at him much more intensely than before.

"Geez, these Go players," he heard one of the police say to another. "They sure are eccentric."

"I know, huh? I suppose this isn't a surprise, since Go players are kind of weird."

Ogata had the urge to take a smoke right now.

"Alright, I guess this is just a misunderstanding. However, do you still want to press charges and at least have him spend a night in jail as a lesson?" the police commissioner directed towards the girl.

Ogata started to sweat bullets, but inwardly sighed in relief when she shook her head.

"Alright then, we'll let you both go. Ogata-san, a warning. Be mindful next time."

Ogata nodded respectfully and followed the girl out of the station at a distance, wary of being accused again.

"I am sincerely sorry for the misunderstanding," he finally said, once they were outside. She stopped and looked at him, and he continued. "I hadn't meant to act so rashly, and I don't want you to think that I had been trying to attempt something that I hadn't meant to insinuate. Please allow me a chance to make it up to you."

She frowned, but then shrugged. "Take me out to a nice, fancy dinner, at a five-star restaurant, treat me to caviar and wine, and get me an expensive dessert."


"Hah! I knew –wait, what?" she blinked at him.

"I said, 'okay,'" he said quietly. "Please allow me this chance to reinstate my image to you. Just tell me your name first, so I don't go around calling you 'girl.'"

"I'm not a girl," she lied, because he knew she was. "And it's Fujiwara no Sai," she straightened up, and suddenly looked a lot more nobler than before, her gaze suddenly intimidating.

But it struck him as off, and not her –not like she'd just been acting prior.

"Bull. On both," he said bluntly, catching her off guard. "And what's with that attitude? Who do you think you are? Nobility?"

She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at him. "I beg your pardon? I don't think I understand, though I believe you must have just been talking to Hikaru."

Ah, so the girl's name is Hikaru. And this…what was this?

"If you could possibly recount what you were discussing with Hikaru prior to when you'd asked for my name, as that is the point where I last remember, sir?"

He frowned, staring at her. "Are…multiple personality disorder?"

Hikaru/Sai smiled gently at him. "I believe that is the term others have explained to me, as the condition. Hikaru is the host personality, and I'm some sort of 'affliction.' I…don't like to think of myself like that, and would like to think I have my own existence."

Ogata stared, and Hikaru/Sai continued to smile at him.

"Cut that crap out." Ogata didn't buy it one bit. "Your name isn't Sai, you don't have MPD, and you're a girl."

She just stared at him, aghast. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me," Ogata didn't back down. "What is your real name?"

"I believe you have me at a disadvantage, I don't understand –"

"Stop that," Ogata snapped at her. "No free dinner."

The girl blinked at him, before huffing. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but for some reason you don't buy it and you won't let it go. And I want a free dinner, especially if you're swearing it's going to be fancy. Like real fancy –not some cheap restaurant, but one with a few stars. My name's Shindo Hikaru."

Ogata grinned smugly, feeling like he'd won a round finally.

"Shindo-san, to tell you, I am Ogata Seiji. Please let this count as our first real meeting, and discount the first two?" he asked formally, and she looked at him warily.

"I…I guess. But you're still the enemy!" she said adamantly, and he looked at her in bemusement, unsure of her meaning.

"We should get going. It's getting dark, and…I don't have my car here."

They both sweatdropped and therefore went on to take a bus to the restaurant Ogata had in mind, in which they were immediately seated in good luck.

"Wow, this is really nice," Hikaru couldn't help saying, looking around.

Ogata smirked. "You said a fancy restaurant, with 'a few stars.' I'll have you know this is a 4-star restaurant."

Hikaru hmphed and folded her arms across her chest. "Okay, okay. You got me, Mr. Trying-to-Get-Back-Into-My-Good-Graces."

"Am I succeeding?"


Ogata actually sighed aloud. "Good. So will you please not think I'm some kind of weird, creepy, Go player that's out to be a child molester?"

"I don't know…" she said slyly, smirking.

He stared at her.

"Oh, alright," she rolled her eyes.

"Thank you. And please don't tell anyone about this. Especially please don't spread this around the Go community," the last part was emphasized heavily.

She lifted her eyebrows. "Okay, got it. What's so important about that?"

Before she could get an answer, their waiter came and Ogata ordered for the both of them.

"The grilled salmon cooked in white wine and a medium rare fillet mignon, with a side of caviar," he smirked at her at that part, and she pouted with a halfhearted glare in his direction. "And a shot of Pinot Noir to sample. Send a chocolate silk pie with the chocolate cookie crumb crust later."

When the waiter left, Ogata became serious again and turned back to her.

"The Go community is rather small," he started. "In fact, currently Japan is the weakest of the three major nations playing Go. As part of that community, and one of the more well-known ones…I don't think my reputation can suffer a blow as some kind of 'creeper,'" he said wryly, trying to lighten up his words with a more sarcastic and ironic tone. "And I really am not like that, and I wouldn't like to be thought of as such."

Hikaru wrinkled. "Fine, fine, Megane-chan."

"M-Megane-chan?!" Ogata sputtered. "D-don't call me that!"

"Ehhh? Why not? You wear glasses, don't you?" Hikaru grinned.

Ogata glared at her. "Yes, but still! Address me correctly –'Ogata-san' or 'Ogata-sensei.'"

"Meh, I like Megane-chan better," Hikaru dismissed his order.

"Why you! Disrespectful, rude brat," Ogata twitched. "At least call me Megane-san or Megane-kun."

Hikaru thought on that for a moment. "…Nah."

Ogata scowled. "Fine then…Chibi Gaki."

They glared at each other.

"Why are you pretending to be a boy with MPD, and saying you're someone named Sai?" he asked, refusing to look away and very curious about that.

"Watch it, Mr. Drag Racer," her glare didn't let up. "I won't let the fact that you have family estates in America, France, and Germany deter me, or the fact that your Siberian Husky currently living with your younger sister and looks gruff and is actually a big softie make me think you're anything but dangerous."

Ogata stared at her bug-eyed. "What…where…how in the hell did you know all that?! I-I'm dangerous? I hardly know anything about you, and yet you pull out all of that! You're the dangerous one! Did you…did you docs me or something?"

"It's doxxing," Hikaru corrected, looking uncomfortable. "No, I just…googled you."

"That's still disturbing! And googling wouldn't get that stuff! I've never said anything to the media about my family or my past!" Ogata was just a little freaked out by this little girl that supposedly had been creeped out by him.

She was shrugging again. "Okay, so maybe I might have also hacked in to some records, old school things, etc. etc. I didn't necessarily doxx you –that would require me releasing your personal information, like your phone number, your address –which is a really nice apartment complex by the way –and all that to the public. Which I didn't. So I didn't technically doxx you. Technically."

Ogata just stared at this girl, who apparently knew everything, minus personal (and he was slightly doubtful of this, just in case), about him. It was slightly scary (he should be disturbed that he didn't find it extremely scary and disturbing), and he wasn't sure he knew what he'd just gotten himself into. He was a little bit in awe too.

But she knew where he lived, his phone number, his Go member registration number probably, the name of his really cuddly and lovable Husky (he could bet), and he wouldn't discount that his license number, his favorite food, favorite color, favorite suit, and everything was known to her.

He wasn't sure how he should take this.

"It's not so bad having a criminal youth, you delinquent. You don't even have to have your hair dyed, since it's a natural blond," Hikaru cheerfully teased. "Megane-chan was a Yankii~"

"I-I wasn't a Yankii," Ogata stuttered, still out of it. Okay, Junior High he'd been in a gang…but he cleaned up before he went to high school! And in high school, he'd gotten into Go and shot straight into the Go community and leagues quickly…and had still drag raced then until he graduated.

He turned red.

Then he went back to being dazed, and tried to talk only to be interrupted by the waiter, who'd brought their food in. Hikaru dug in eagerly and Ogata began to eat numbly, moving a little robotically.

"It's okay, Megane-chan."

He twitched. "Be quiet, Chibi. Eat your caviar."

She faltered, looking at the delicacy hesitantly.

"Um…I don't think I really want to try it after all –"

Ogata latched onto that, grinning wickedly. "Ah, no –you wanted it. Go on, eat it."

Hikaru winced. "But I just listed it as a list of things…and mostly because it was expensive! I didn't think you'd actually get it for me."

"But I did. So eat it."

She kept staring, but so did he and she looked at the small plate of caviar that was staring at her and taunting her just by being.

"What? Are you scared?"

And with that, Hikaru grabbed her fork and stabbed a piece of the caviar before shoving it into her mouth. Her eyes watered and she gagged. She forcibly kept her mouth close, but she shook her head and made some pitiful noises as she wriggled around in her chair in "pain."

"I don't like it, I don't like it," she said through her mouthful of caviar towards Ogata, who watched her in amusement while she cried.

He took a napkin and leaned over to her, holding it under her mouth and used his other hand to direct her head towards it. She immediately grabbed her glass of water to clean her mouth.

"Eat your food," he told her, still amused. "And try the wine. It'll take off the taste. Hopefully."

She curiously reached for the small shot of wine and looked towards him, who nodded at her to go ahead. She tentatively took a taste and her face screwed up.

"Eck. It's kind of bitter."

But she kept drinking it in sips, and eventually she scrunched her nose. "It kinda tastes okay now…"

"Wine can be an acquired taste," Ogata shrugged.

"Can I get a full glass?" she asked eagerly.

"No. Drinking age is 20, Chibi. Eat your food," he said again, going back to his own plate.

She pouted, but did as she was told.

Afterwards, they found their way back to the Go salon, where Ogata insisted he drive her to her home, especially since it was dark and everything. She thought nothing of it, bid Sai goodnight, and went to sleep. She woke up and tiredly got ready, and slumped over the kitchen table to eat.

"Hikaru?" Sai asked quietly, knowing that she probably wasn't fully awake.

"Hey, Sai…this whole business pretending to be you is kind of hard," she mumbled, shoving a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

And it was true. She couldn't always keep in character, and it was hard trying to keep talking in that certain way, especially when she let modern usage slip out (especially when she got all emotional). Sai wasn't a help, since all his time with Torajiro had made him used to that era's language as well, and even in the short amount of time with Hikaru, he'd picked up and was slipping in modern words and phrases like it was usual. And like last night, she'd messed up royally. As soon as Ogata had grabbed onto her, she'd slipped out of her Sai persona and had reacted from then on as her, until she remembered and tried to play it off by introducing her MPD.

She was surprised that he knew she was a girl, and wouldn't believe her on anything. Remembering her thought that maybe she'd been too harsh on him right before he'd surprised and grabbed her, she huffed irritably and shoved another spoonful into her mouth.

She took it back. She hadn't been too harsh.

He was the enemy.

The doorbell rang and she blinked, confused at who would come to bother her this early in the morning. Maybe it was Akari…

She scowled when she opened the door and it was Ogata on the other side.

"Good morning, Hikaru," he greeted.

"Oi, don't just greet me and say my name so familiarly like that!" Hikaru grabbed his tie and dragged him in, sticking her head out of her door and looking around in paranoia, before she went back in and slammed the door behind her.

"You're going to call me 'Megane-chan,'" he deadpanned. "So in retaliation, I will call you 'Hikaru' and just Hikaru, with no honorifics. Deal with it."

"Eh, Megane-chan is so grumpy and mean," Hikaru huffed, and Sai giggled behind his fan, hiding it from his host.

But she'd proved his point with the name, even if she largely ignored the content of what he was saying.

"What do you want anyways? And how are you here in my house?"

"I drove here."

She gave him a look.

"I drove you home last night, remember? I remembered your address to drive back today," Ogata admitted.

Hah! She knew there must've been a reason he drove her home.

Sai shook his head at his host's odd fascination/antagonism against this man. He wasn't sure what was up, and he knew that she didn't have a clue and was impulsively provoking and bickering with the other man.

"I was hoping you'd come with me to see Touya Meijin today, at the Go salon," he continued. "I'm requesting this time, as you so strongly recommended."

Hikaru blinked at him. "But I have school."

He shrugged. "So skip it."

She jumped up and pointed a finger at him. "Ah hah! You are a little delinquent, aren't you, Megane-chan?"

Ogata face palmed.

She finished up her cereal, had him wait as she took a shower, and went with him to his car, raising an eyebrow at it.

"Bright red sports car…flashy, Megane-chan, flashy," she just barely refrained from rolling her eyes.

"I'm not flashy," he denied.

"Says the man in an expensive white suit, driving an expensive red sports vehicle."

He did roll his eyes and entered his side of the car, while she went to the other side and slid into the seat.

"Leather seats that are really taken cared of…you are flashy."

Ogata ignored her and started the car.

"I hope you know I need a bribe for this."

Ogata inwardly sighed.

Sometime into their drive, Hikaru pointed to a random shop to call in her bribe and Ogata relented, deciding to humor her. It was an antique shop and he couldn't think what in the world she could see in there that she might want.

"Give me your jacket," she said suddenly.

"Wait, what?" he was caught off guard.

"Just give it to me. You want people to think you're some kind of child molester or something?" she said irritably.

"Don't say that aloud!" he hissed at her, taking off his jacket and handing it to her roughly. "And you said you'd quit with that! What's with the jacket?"

Hikaru gave him a condescending look he bristled at, before putting on his jacket and putting her hair in a loose ponytail. Her voice changed and became a little softer, with just a hint of being a little male. It was better than the quick turnaround she'd done earlier, outside the police station yesterday.

"It's a little harder to get the exact correct balance for this tone," she told him in her new voice. "I usually don't have this much trouble adjusting my voice, though most times I can snap into this tone easily. Come on, Aniki," she said, tugging at his sleeve and making him follow her.

Once again, he was struck into a dumb haze because of her.

She looked around and he was getting out of it, when she spotted something. She headed towards it, letting go of Ogata for the moment to retrieve it. When she came back to him, she was holding onto a folding fan.

"Here. Buy this for me and I'll call us even," she said simply.

"Even for what?" he muttered, but he'd grabbed it and headed to the cashier.

She blinked at his back. Honestly, she hadn't really expected him to even agree to buying her something at all, much less buy her the fan she wanted so she could emulate Sai more.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't 'the enemy,' but more of an 'undesirable number one.'

Started 3/23/13 – Completed 3/24/13

A/n: Meh, I wanted to put the Meijin and Hikaru confrontation in here, but I really hadn't expected the whole Ogata and Hikaru interaction to get so long. At most, 1k words…Whoops, my bad. But I promise it next time! Please review if you enjoyed! It really means a lot!

Anonymous: Thank you! I hope you'll keep giggling! My humor is quirky, but I'm glad people like it.

Gin: Thanks! And yeah, Ogata is gonna keep getting it XD

Guest: Thanks! Yep, Ogata is never going to live that down. At least not with Hikaru. And Akira being told to get a life…hahaha!