A/N: Okay, so I had to do it. I'm a guy, and at the moment, I don't have a significant other for me to...ah, take out my desires on, so I did this. Since this is based on Not Another Bleach Fic, by Fullmetal Wetback, it would be best if you went over and read that one first, but you don't have to in order to enjoy this. I'm just trying to get one of my favorite authors some readers, I suppose. Anyway, have fun!

Warnings: Graphic sexual situations...'nuff said.

Pairings: Ichigo Kurosaki/Soifon/Yoruichi Shihouin

Disclaimer: You know it? I don't own it.

The Blushing Bee and the Cunning Cat

Ichigo was sleeping in the private barracks he was given for his stay in Soul Society when his instincts roused him. Being raised in a house where he was attacked by his father had sharpened his reflexes to a ridiculously keen point, and he waited on tenterhooks for his opponent to show themselves.

From the window, a silhouette cast a shadow over his bed, and he decided to feign sleep to gain the element of surprise. He watched the dark figure slowly climb into the room through his eyelashes. The intruder slipped fully into his quarters, making not a sound as it ghosted across the floor to where he lay.

It paused at his bedside, then slowly reached down, and Ichigo made his move. Quicker than a flash (step), he grabbed the offending hand and gathered the other, which was aiming a punch to his head, before trapping both in an iron grip above their head and straddling them.

He grumbled under his breath, "Burning sphere of the eastern horizon, celestial flame strike swiftly. Hado 13: Hinotama!" A ball of fire burst into life in his hand and illuminated his attacker. When his brain comprehended what his eyes were telling it, his Fireball spell almost combusted in his face.

"Sh-Shaolin?" he gasped, keeping a hold on her wrists. "What the hell are you doing, sneaking into my room like that? I could've killed you!"

In the flickering firelight of his kido, Soifon's narrowed eyes bore into him. "Foolish human, as if you could kill me. Now, release me!"

"Are you gonna try and kill me if I do?"

Soifon responded instantly, "I'm still contemplating it."

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo let her hands go and clambered off of her. Soifon knelt on one side of his bed while Ichigo sat cross-legged at the foot. Keeping his fire spell going, he blew a few embers over toward the various candles in his room, casting his quarters in a warm glow.

Snuffing out the Hinotama in his fist, he leaned back on his hands. "So, wanna tell me what you were doing sneaking into my room and being all Onmitsukido? Did Yama-jii call for my execution already?"

Soifon shook her head and curled her fingers on her knees. "No," she said, a slow blush creeping its way up her face. Ichigo was confused, intrigued, and a bit enchanted at her reaction. He hadn't even known that the second division captain could blush.

"Oookay," Ichigo said, now almost fully bewildered. "So if you're not here in your official capacity as head assassin, then...?"

"Yoruichi-sama gave me an order," Soifon relented, her faint blush growing deeper. "She said that it was top priority, and that if I failed, I would doom all the dimensions." She trailed off, muttering under her breath, "...though how that would be I'll never understand..."

"Oh, okay then." Ichigo waited for her to continue, and when she remained quietly embarrassed, he took it upon himself. "Um, what's your mission then?"

"I-er, that is to say..." stammered Soifon, and Ichigo was once more struck by how strange Soifon was acting about this.

"Maybe it'll be easier if you just blurt it all out like word vomit," Ichigo suggested. "That always works for me."

Soifon nodded, took a deep breath and practically shouted, "Yoruichi-sama saidthat Ihadtohave intercoursewithyou!"

Ichigo cocked his head to the side, working it out in his head. When he finally got it, the blood drained from his face. "Y-yoru-neko told you to...have sex with me?" he paraphrased. "That accursed hellcat," he grumbled.

"Am I that unattractive?" Soifon grumbled indignantly, still blushing bright crimson.

"What?" Ichigo said, distracted. "No! You're really pretty, Shaolin. It's just...well, uh, I'm-not so experienced with this sort of thing," he sputtered out quickly.

Soifon flushed so deeply that her face looked purple in the candlelight. "Neither am I," she spat. There was a moment of awkward silence before the two of them giggled nervously.

"So, er, should we...um, go through with my mission?" Soifon asked hesitantly.

"You won't find me complaining," Ichigo replied. Truthfully, he had almost no clue what he was supposed to do in this situation. Sure, as a teenage boy, it was practically his duty to look at porn and think about boobs and babes almost constantly, but he'd never really given thought to actually going through with it. He was sure that when the moment presented itself, he'd be ready, but now that it was here...well, he was entirely clueless.

He thought back to The Talk his father had given him three years ago, then immediately cursed himself for even thinking about taking his father's advice. "Son, babies come from a magical pelican who swoops down, eats kappas, and poops out little children, tinkles baby formula, and vomits pacifiers. And that, my dear Ichigo, is where babies come from."

Shaking his head, he returned to the present to find Soifon with unsure eyes trained on him. "Do...do you know how we should proceed?" she asked, picking at the hakama she wore.

"Well, you should probably...undress," Ichigo said. "I mean, we can't...uh, do the deed if you're fully clothed, right?"

Soifon nodded and shrugged herself out of the dark kimono she wore, then undid the yellow belt that held up her hakama, pulling them off. This left her only in her loincloth and breast bindings. Ichigo, who had been sleeping in his boxers, watched with rapt attention as she shed her clothes.

When she was finished, Soifon glanced almost shyly at him, and Ichigo was struck by how pretty she looked, bathed in soft candlelight and dressed only in her undergarments. Her eyes traveled south, and her blush returned.

He looked down and saw what had caught her attention. He hadn't even noticed as his member slowly tented his shorts, and he would've blushed if there was any blood left in his head. Instead, he rose to his knees and moved toward her.

"I-I'm a bit nervous, about this," admitted Soifon as he sidled up the bed and sat down next to her.

"So then we'll start slowly," Ichigo suggested. "C'mere..." He brought his hand up to her cheek, brushing his fingers across her face gently, and she leaned into him, closing her eyes contentedly. Ichigo slowly brought his head closer to hers and pressed their lips together.

For a moment, he was afraid that Soifon would jerk away, release her shikai and kill him right then and there. Thankfully, she smashed their lips together more forcefully, fisting her hands in Ichigo's hair.

Ichigo was startled when Soifon's tongue snaked into his mouth and began playing with his own, but it was the good kind of startled. He pushed forward, laying Soifon down on the bed and hovering over her, pressing gentle kisses down her neck, nipping at her collarbone before tearing the cloth covering her breasts with his teeth.

He took in her small, perky boobs in all their pale wonderfulness before attacking the left one with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the quickly-hardening buds of flesh before sucking lightly. Soifon gasped and arched her back into him, silently urging him to continue.

Ichigo tweaked her free nipple between his thumb and index finger, causing her to hiss appreciatively before switching up, enveloping her right breast with his mouth and playing with the moist left nipple with his fingers.

Thank God for porn, Ichigo thought, who was proceeding on a mixture of instinct and memory of how the AV's went. So after this, I'll go down on her...

He slowly trailed kisses down her body, admiring the soft skin as he went, and stopping when he reached her loincloth. He was about to undo the knot holding it up when he was suddenly grasped around the chest. His world became blurred, and he realized that someone was using shunpo while holding onto him.

He felt cloth wrap around his wrists and ankles before the world righted itself, and suddenly he was on his back, facing the ceiling, with a healthy breeze flowing 'round his bits.

"What the...?" He tried to get up, but he found that his hands and legs had been tied securely to the bedposts, and that someone had removed his underwear.

"You played your part perfectly, Soifon," a familiar female voice praised, and Ichigo craned his neck to find a heavily-blushing and still half-naked Soifon standing very near none other than Shihouin Yoruichi. Her bright yellow eyes glowed in the the candlelight as she took in Ichigo's form hungrily.

"Yoru-neko, what the fuck's going on here?" Ichigo growled, much too angry to be embarrassed.

"Oh, I just needed Soifon here to distract you enough so that you wouldn't notice me sneak up and tie you to the bed," Yoruichi said flippantly, slowly unwinding the scarf around her neck and removing the arm and leg warmers. "You're too cautious for me to just do it myself."

"I did well, Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon asked meekly.

"I couldn't have done it better myself, my little bee," Yoruichi said, and Soifon glowed with pride. "Now, let's have a little taste of the strawberry, shall we?"

Ichigo didn't know whether to be pissed off or horny as hell, so he decided on a combination of the emotions and was pleasantly surprised by how good it felt.

Yoruichi swept forward, pulling off the orange sweater she wore and peeling off her skin-tight undergarment, revealing her mocha-colored breasts and cleanly-shaven nether region. She smirked at Ichigo's twitching cock and the way his eyes swept over her body.

"I've seen your 'sneaky' looks when I was training you, Ichigo," Yoruichi purred, sidling up onto the bed next to him. "I know what you want..." A groan escaped his lips when her hand ghosted over his rod, sending lightning shooting through his nerves.

Her eyes locked with his and kept Ichigo mesmerized as she slowly lowered her mouth to his member, flicking the swollen head with her tongue, making him jerk upward. Yoruichi's smirk became feral, and the pupils of her eyes became little more than slits.

Her warm breath glided over his dick, torturing him more effectively than any pain she could ever inflict on him. His hands strained against the cloth strips holding him back, trying to force Yoruichi to just get on with it already.

Ichigo nearly screamed in frustration when Yoruichi leaned back, her full breast bouncing lightly, her smile devilish. "Why don't I let you take the first taste, Soifon?"

Her dark, nimble fingers, wrapped around his meat-pole while her other hand grasped Soifon's wrist and pulled her forward. Soifon stumbled and fell onto the bed, her face mere inches from Ichigo's member.

If Ichigo had thought Soifon couldn't blush harder than she'd done previously, then he had been dead wrong. Her face heated up so much that he feared 'little Ichigo' would get second degree burns from the close proximity.

"Y-Yoruichi-sama," the smaller woman stammered, trying to edge away. Yoruichi, however, kept her firmly in place.

"Now, now, Soifon," the dark-skinned woman smiled sinisterly. "You asked for my help with this, so you're getting my help. So go on, give Ichigo a nice, long, lick."

"W-wait a minute," Ichigo forced out of his mouth, his blood-deprived brain trying to comprehend something. "Did you just say that Soifon asked for your help?"

"Why yes, she did, Berry-baka," Yoruichi sniggered. "Ever since you called her 'hot' when she released her Bankai, she can't stop thinking about you."

"Yoruichi-sama!" Soifon gasped, scandalized.

"So...this is your idea?"

"Yes, it is," she admitted. "And as it was my idea, I must go through with this." And with that, she lowered her head to his cock and drew her tongue up his shaft, from base to tip in a single, slow movement.

Any further conversation flew out Ichigo's head faster than he could move in Bankai, and was instead replaced by, I'm getting a blowjob from Fong Shaolin! With Yoruichi on deck! Squee! Of course, he would never admit the fangirlish squeal. Ever.

With the initial contact barrier breached, Soifon began to lick more enthusiastically, like she was enjoying an ice cream cone on a sunny day. While Soifon fiddled around with the tip of Ichigo's cock, Yoruichi's hands abruptly forced her head all the way down his shaft, causing Ichigo to gasp in shock and delight.

Before Soifon could struggle, Yoruichi brought her back up, and the dark-haired girl gasped for breath. "Now, no more teasing," Yoruichi commanded. "Start sucking, Soifon."

Nodding, Soifon brought her head down on Ichigo once more, sucking lightly on his rod while bobbing her head slowly, using her delicate hands to pump the bottom of his shaft gently. Slowly, she began increasing her pace, punctuating her movements with loud slurps.

Ichigo groaned in pleasure. This was the most incredible feeling he'd ever experienced, and the pressure in his lower abdomen was coiling tighter and tighter the more Soifon continued. Just as he felt as though he was going to explode, Soifon relinquished her grasp on his member and eased away.

He almost cried, until he felt a pair of warm, soft somethings envelop his cock. He looked down just in time to see Yoruichi begin pumping her breasts up and down with his dick trapped in their voluptuous embrace.

"Do you like my tits, Ichigo?" Yoruichi asked seductively, rubbing her boobs together swiftly, creating delicious friction between them and Ichigo's member. She spit into her cleavage, lubing them up to give him an even more pleasurable experience.

Ichigo stifled a yelp of absolute ecstasy, closing his eyes and leaning his head back into the pillow, allowing Yoruichi to continue with her ministrations. He felt a weight on his chest, and a musky, sweet scent filled his nostrils. He opened his eyes to find Soifon's milky thighs straddling his head, with her pussy just a few inches above him.

Soifon lowered her moist honeypot to his face just as he felt her mouth rejoin the assault on his cock, sucking hard on the tip while Yoruichi worked his shaft with her breasts. Deciding that it would be best, Ichigo's tongue darted past Soifon's nether lips and he tasted the most wonderful flavor he'd ever encountered.

Greedily, he began lapping at the source of this deliciousness, feeling moans of pleasure vibrate through Soifon's body. He licked down, remembering from several AVs he'd watched that women were especially sensitive in a single small nub somewhere near the top of the slit.

His tongue felt something small and round, and he began toying with it, using his flexible appendage to flick it back and forth. Soifon screamed loudly, her teeth grazing his cock and making him gasp just as a gush of fluid splashed from Soifon's pussy.

While Soifon rode out her orgasm, panting warm air onto Ichigo's tip, Yoruichi increased her pace to blinding-fast speed and Ichigo let out a shout of warning before unleashing his load on the unsuspecting Soifon.

His first spurt of cum shot right into her mouth, causing her to recoil sharply, catching the second burst on her forehead. The third and fourth streamers of seed hit Yoruichi, painting her tits white. His orgasm finished, Ichigo sighed contentedly. That had been by far the greatest moment of his life up to that point. Killing Grand Fisher, taking on the Sokyoku, fucking shit up with his Bankai...not even close to this.

"Oh, look at this, Soifon," Yoruichi giggled happily. She grasped his member, which was still stiff. "He's ready to go again. You've certainly got stamina, Ichigo. Come here." She gestured to her former subordinate, who, still looking a bit shaky from before, crawled over to Yoruichi.

The dark-skinned woman helped Soifon climb onto Ichigo and straddle his waist and began pushing Soifon's lower lips down onto Ichigo's cock, trapping it between their bodies and rubbing it back and forth.

Both Soifon and Ichigo moaned at the contact of sensitive flesh for awhile before Yoruichi instructed Soifon to lift up. Yoruichi gripped the base of Ichigo's member, maneuvering it into perfect alignment, and then shoved Soifon down, causing a surprised gasp to escape both of their lips.

Soifon, having been Onmitsukido for over a century, was no stranger to pain, and quickly overcame the sudden rip of her hymen. She ground her hips in a circular motion, just as Yoruichi had shown her, and was pleasantly surprised at the pleasurable signals coming from where her groin met Ichigo's. It felt even better than when Ichigo's tongue was exploring her pussy.

Slowly, her grinding became a riding motion as she sought more pleasure. Ichigo watched her writhing form arch and squirm over his in a mixture of awe and incredible arousal. With his limited mobility, all he could do was push his hips upward to meet her as she bounced up and down on his dick. It was startling, really, seeing as how she was a virgin; she was riding his cock like a seasoned veteran.

Even Yoruichi was taken aback by Soifon's enthusiastic movements as she brought herself closer to her second orgasm of the night. Shrugging off her amazement, Yoruichi decided that it was time for her to rejoin the fun, too.

She swung her leg up over Ichigo's chest and smirked down at him before pressing her pussy down on his face. The boy hungrily leaned upward, plunging his tongue into her, eating her out quite readily. Moaning in surprised joy, she ground herself into his face, pushing his tongue deeper into her body. His nose pressed into her clit, causing her to hiss loudly as her thighs clamped around his head.

"Ichigo," she purred, and she could practically feel him smirk into her groin as he wiggled his nose from side to side, further stimulating her pleasure bud. Yoruichi quickly spun around, not wanting to cum so soon, and pulled Soifon's head toward her.

Soifon, who had been lost in her own world of ecstasy as she bucked on her personal fuck-stick, opened her eyes in surprise just in time to see Yoruichi's face loom toward hers and smash their lips together.

Yoruichi licked the roof of her mouth with a quick flick, sending shivers down Soifon's spine that met up with the ones running up her back from where she and Ichigo were connected, creating an incredible feeling somewhere around her navel, and she moaned loudly into Yoruichi's mouth as she came for the second time that night.

It seemed as though the girl had a limit, for she slumped forward right into Yoruichi's breasts, where the dark-skinned woman cradled her head like a child. Ichigo sensed that she was done and halted his upward movements, focusing instead on licking up Yoruichi's delectable juices while simultaneously wriggling his hands out of the knots that held him.

Yoruichi laid Soifon down on the bed, where she lay panting, eyes half-lidded in the afterglow of her orgasm, and was about to take her place on Ichigo's lap when a pair of arms wrapped around her, spinning her around and bringing her lips to Ichigo's.

Hearing the cloth restraining his legs tear forcefully, Yoruichi felt more aroused than she had in her entire life. Tasting herself on Ichigo's tongue as he probed her mouth, knowing that he'd freed himself and was about to take her forcefully made her pussy lips drip with excitement.

He pushed her onto the bed next to Soifon's prone form, looming over her with his cock throbbing plaintively, and grinned impishly. He saw Yoruichi's legs unconsciously open, inviting him in, and he wasn't about to disappoint the lady.

Ichigo slid smoothly between her legs, taking half a second to position himself, and then thrust in easily, groaning at the velvety slickness within her folds. He eased out slowly, not entirely trusting his self-control, and then pushed back in, feeling a sense of pride when she let out a long, torturous moan as he began to shove himself in and out more quickly.

As he increased his pace, Ichigo threw one of Yoruichi's legs over her shoulder, grunting as he felt himself penetrate more deeply. After a few more minutes of this, Yoruichi let out a heavenly noise, arching up into him as she came.

Growling in frustration, Ichigo flipped Yoruichi onto her stomach, pulling her hips up to his and continuing to thrust into her. He pistoned into her, taking every bit of pleasure he could from her moist slit. He continued to pound her from behind for several minutes, bringing her to orgasm for a second time.

As she gasped from the strain, he turned her over once more so that she laid on her back and stradled her chest, his cock lying between her tits. Ichigo grasped her breasts and pushed them together and began rocking back and forth, fucking her tits thoroughly. Every time his cock emerged from her cleavage, Yoruichi would slurp the tip with her warm, wet mouth, causing Ichigo to groan contentedly.

Finally, Ichigo seized up and released his load onto Yoruichi, bathing her chin, neck, and breasts with his seed.

Luckily for him, the bed was big enough for all three of them to sprawl out. He and Yoruichi lay there in the candlelight, gasping for breath, having exhausted themselves with the frantic love-making. Soifon was already knocked out, snoring softly.

"So," Yoruichi said, turning her glowing golden eyes upon Ichigo tiredly, yet with the smugness of having deflowered two of her protegees in one go, "how was your first time, Ichigo?"

"Best..." panted Ichigo, "...night...ever."

A/N: So, yeah. I hope you liked the present.