A/N: Okay, I'm depressed now. Enough said.
Pairing: Sabriel – Sam/Gabriel.
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Summary: There's a reason he chose that song. He just wishes Sam had realised that before, even if it was impossible for the younger Winchester to know. Sabriel of a fashion
Gabriel has known exactly how and when he was going to die since Sam Winchester was born. It was impossible for him not to; the visions had hit him regularly even as he tried to plan ways to avoid his death. Yet no matter what he planned it always happened, even if he managed to die in a different way it was still at the same time and place. Unavoidable. So when he first meets Sam and Dean Winchester he hides his true identity thinking that if they didn't know who he really was that he would be safe. He tries to hide that whenever he catches Sam's eye a shiver runs down his spine and he deep down he knows he can't really turn his back on him. He ignores (tries to ignore) the sensation and fakes his death at their hands anyway. After all, they won't go after someone who they think is dead and then Gabriel won't blow his cover no matter what. He would think it's a fool proof plan except there's no new vision to confirm it. Still he pretends otherwise and for a while he convinces himself.
And then Dean Winchester is stupid enough to make a deal with a demon and Gabriel realises exactly who and what the Winchester brothers are.
Only Gabriel is no fool. He knows Sam Winchester somehow. (He knows just why he does as well but can't bring himself to admit it – at least not out loud anyway.) Sam isn't going to let his brother go without a fight and he'll fail to save him from going to hell and won't be able to save him then either. It's in that moment that Gabriel realises he can't save himself either. No matter how much he tried nothing had changed. His death was fixed and he had to accept it just like Sam had to accept Dean's unfortunate demise. Thus, with his new found knowledge, Gabriel decides to stick the younger Winchester in one of his cruellest tricks to date. He needs a sign though; something simple that would stick in Sam's mind each time he woke. He's sat in an old café as he thinks it through and somebody turns the radio up. For a moment it frustrates him until he actually listens and suddenly he has his sign.
"A look from you and I would fall from grace,
And that would wipe the smile right from my face…"
His efforts go to waste of course and when he tricks Sam with Dean's Wednesday death the younger Winchester brother hunts him down to the point of insanity. The intensity of Sam's determination scares him and Gabriel gives up, faking the bravo that normally comes so easily because this is Sam. Plus, the younger Winchester may not know it, but Sam Winchester owns him down to his very core. Gabriel just thinks that his Father has an incredibly cruel sense of humour.
The next time Gabriel sees Sam and Dean Winchester he does exactly what he knows he's supposed to. He plays his part. The irony that that's exactly what he's trying to teach the two humans isn't missed on him. He knows it won't work. He's skipped ahead all his life, although not willingly, and he knows how this ends. It's another one of those fixed points. The Winchester's will find out who he really is and he'll refuse to help them. Simple, easy and pointless to fight.
It leads them to here; with Sam in a room full of Pagans about to face down Lucifer and Dean ranting at him as he hides out in the back of the impala. He kind of tunes the elder Winchester out, reacting how he's supposed to. He's seen this vision before, different variations of it over and over but Dean's little speech rarely changes. It isn't really all that effective anymore. Only Gabriel knows that he has to go back because there's nothing else he can do. He can't turn his back on these people because Sam is one of them. So he pretends that it isn't Dean talking to him, imagines Sam is in his brother's place instead. He forces himself to be convinced, lets Dean leave and gets ready to face his death. Briefly he climbs into the passenger seat, a flash of grace and the radio blinks on and he begins searching for the song he knows will be playing. It's easy to find and he smiles.
"It was the heat of the moment,
Telling me what my heart meant.
The heat of the moment showed in your eyes…"
Gabriel listens to the radio until the song finishes before getting out of the car. He can sense Lucifer's inside now and trembles slightly as he takes a deep breath to calm himself. A click of his fingers and a DVD appears in his hand; his death video. One final cliché to make him feel better despite the fact he'd made it almost a year ago – another sharp reminder of how little control he had even back then. He shrugs it off and takes flight, appearing beside the Winchesters who are hiding from Lucifer's attack behind some debris and Gabriel knows he shouldn't go off script. He really does. Yet he can't help it after he passes Dean that blasted DVD. He meets Sam's eyes and sends him one short thought, sees Sam's eyes widen in surprise and then soften painfully before he turns away.
"We never got our moment Sasquatch but, for what it's worth, we would have been magnificent."
Gabriel doesn't look at Sam again as he plays his final part; saves Kali and banters with Lucifer. He just keeps hoping something will change last minute so that Sam and he could have their moment but he knows it won't. Still when Lucifer stabs him he's still surprised and his shock and pain aren't faked. It doesn't feel scripted anymore. Only the feeling doesn't stay for long as Lucifer something in his ear and then it's all bright light and endless darkness.
And driving away, disappearing in the distance, Sam Winchester pulls out his ipod and presses play, letting the song he had on repeat play one final time.
"It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment showed in your eyes…"