- 09:30 pm -

John. - S.H.

John! -S.H.

John! - S.H.

What, Sherlock? - J.W.

John, I'm bored. - S.H.

What do you want me to do? I'm on the other side of bloody London! - J.W.

Oh. Well that explains why you didn't pass me that pen an hour ago. - S.H.

Sherlock, I'm on a date! - J.W.

I don't mind. - S.H.

Well I do! Stop texting me! - J.W.

John . . . - S.H.

John! - S.H.

John, but I'm boooooooored. - S.H.

Johnnnnnn! - S.H.

John, I could very easily just look at your recent browsing history and receipts to figure out where you are. Or better yet, I could get Mycroft to take a look at the nearest security cameras in our area. I have no doubt he's just sitting down with a cake, watching you right now. - S.H.

Alright! What do you want? - J.W.

I want you. - S.H.

. . . to come home. - S.H.

Why? - J.W.

You can't even tell the difference when I'm there anyway! - J.W.

John, you're being difficult. - S.H.

I'm being difficult? This coming from the man who keeps severed heads in the bloody fridge! - J.W.

It was an experiment, I told you. - S.H.

You and your bloody experiments! - J.W.

Johhnnnnnnn, come home! - S.H.

Why?! - J.W.

I'm on a date, Sherlock. With a girl that I actually like, but for some reason, every time I so much as try to date a woman, you just get in the way! - J.W.

Sherlock? - J.W.

Sherlock, I'm sorry. - J.W.

I didn't mean it. - J.W.

Sherlock? - J.W.

It's fine. - S.H.

No, it's not fine, look, I'll come back if you really want me to. - J.W.

What about your date? - S.H.

It's not important. - J.W.

It seemed important to you before. - S.H.

Well it doesn't matter now. - J.W.

Are you sure? I don't think this mystery woman would be too happy with you blowing her off so soon. - S.H.

Oh well, the date wasn't going too good anyway. - J.W.

Yes, I didn't think she'd be too happy with you texting your flatmate through the entire dinner. - S.H.

Wait, what? - J.W.

Nothing. - S.H.

Are you saying that you were texting me this entire time just to make my date go badly? - J.W.

No. - S.H.

Sherlock . . . - J.W.

Yes, John? - S.H.

Don't act all innocent with me now! - J.W.

What, was it something I said? - S.H.

I'm going to bloody kill you when I get home! - J.W.

Does that mean you're coming back soon? - S.H.

Sherlock! - J.W.

- 10:00 pm -

John! - S.H.

What, Sherlock?! - J.W.

When are you coming back? I'm bored! - S.H.

I don't know, Sherlock. And can't you just, look at some old case files or something? - J.W.

John! Come hoooooooooome. - S.H.

Not when you're acting like a child! - J.W.

Judging by the tone you're conveying through your texts, I'd say this date isn't going very well at all. I'd say you'll be home within . . . half an hour? Provided the time it will take for the two of you to get separate cabs. - S.H.

You're wrong. - J.W.

I'm never wrong, John. - S.H.

Except when it comes to me. You were wrong about my sister, you were wrong about me asking you out. Just admit it that there's at least one person in the world you can't see right through. - J.W.

I'll admit that I didn't know your alcoholic sibling was a woman, but that is a tiny detail, compared to everything else I managed to deduce in one day. As for the second thing, we both know I wasn't wrong there, John. - S.H.

What the bloody hell are you implying? - J.W.

John, you're on a date, and all you've been doing is texting me. What does that tell you? - S.H.

Oh, you insufferable man! - J.W.

Tell me I'm wrong. - S.H.

That's what I thought. - S.H.

- 10:30 pm -

Well, John? - S.H.

You were right. - J.W.

About the date. I'm in a cab on my way home, now. - J.W.

Oh. What happened with the date? - S.H.

What do you bloody think? She got annoyed that I kept texting you, and left. She said she didn't want to be second best to "the great Sherlock Holmes". Just like every other girlfriend said. - J.W.

I'm sorry, John. - S.H.

It's fine, it's not really your fault I suppose. - J.W.

And was I right about anything else? - S.H.

Sherlock, I'm not really in the mood to talk about that right now. - J.W.

Oh, John. An hour ago, you were ready to leave that date that you apparently cared so much about, just because you thought you'd upset me. There's a reason every girlfriend you've had doesn't like me. - S.H.

Sherlock. - J.W.

You must've known I'd figure it out eventually. - S.H.

Sherlock, I'm not talking about this now. - J.W.

Just admit it, John. - S.H.

Why? So that you can have the satisfaction of being right? That's all that seems to matter to you! You just want to be proven right, every damn time! You just can't take it that sometimes, you'rewrong, Sherlock. - J.W.

John? - S.H.

What? - J.W.

I love you too. - S.H.