~❤ (^-^/)~❤ (^-^/)i just want to tell you guys that i am very grateful and happy that you give your time reading this fiction! and i also appreciate your kind words!

for mika who wrote a review for the torn canvas: if you happen to be also reading this story, sorry if i haven't updated that for a long while. i posted an announcement in tumblr that it's last chappy will be released within this week so watch out for that! hehehe

i made a short review of the BL games i have played. maybe you wanna see them? hehe

mainichiyaoi . tum blr -dot- cOm/post/49784861729/evolution-of-bl-games-modest- to

for UsagiXMisaki and IjuuinXIo...here we go!

『『『『 Permission 』』』』

'Where did he go?"

Amidst the patients in wheelchairs being wheeled to their therapy sessions and nurses doing their rounds, his lavender eyes were only focused on searching one person. His Misaki.

Whisperings and murmurs reached Usami's ears as he walked in the first floor hallways. The white, tiled floors shining, and the glass panes of the hospital windows reflected his silhouette as he walked by. Outside was already dim. A signal that he and his young lover should go home.

At the farthest end of the long hallway, there was an open area and not long the tall man had realized it was for smokers. He traced his eyes among the men and women taking their breaks. Mostly they were doctors and nurses killing time by killing their lungs.

It was ironic how people already knew what was bad and yet they still do it.

His ears perked up when he heard a familiar giggle. A soft laugh that sounded strangely calming to his senses. And there he found Misaki laughing together with the eccentric blonde man called Arisaka.

For a moment, Usami just stood there. He was almost being hidden by a vendo machine. His lavender eyes watched every movement the teen made. How Misaki would laugh and smile. When the teen smiles, his whole face lits up and it was contagious.

Usami Akihiko, looking at his young lover like that, he couldn't have agreed any less than what Takahashi Takahiro had said.

"Misaki is a precious child," the unseeing man muttered with a sense of pride.

It was a man to man talk. The brother versus the lover. The family by blood versus the family by love. It was serious and somehow strange how both men found themselves in that situation. They weren't related and by all means weren't close as well. Their only link was the one and only Misaki, who for both men was the most precious being in the world.

Usami remained standing. His eyes fixed at the dark hair and the eyes that were serious. He figured the man was looking at him through sensing instead of seeing.

"I apologize if it took me a long time before coming here," Usami started, his voice soft and calm.

Takahiro lifted his gaze as if trying to look at Usami. "Do you really love my brother?" Takahiro asked. He knew it was a stupid question but he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully until he hears it from the man himself.

"More than everything. He's so precious that's why I love him."

A mournful sigh escaped Takahiro's lips. He wasn't trying to hide what little objection still remained in his mind about his younger brother's relationship. "You're ten years his senior...my brother could be really childish at times...how can you be so sure that you won't get tired of him?"

The ticking of the clock hanging by the wall sounded louder than usual. For Usami, he wasn't really the type to entertain questions and for Takahiro, he wasn't the interrogating type. But both knew as well that for them having Misaki in the middle, they must come into terms and be transparent with each other. For any misunderstanding on their parts, it will leave Misaki the one hurting.

"Plus, I am well aware that many women are after you. Despite you admitting you're not interested with women, the fact that you're rich and handsome and famous, there's no way they'd give up so easily," Takahiro continued. "Women by nature tend to live in fairy tales. Whatever happens, they'd have this hope that you'll come around. What will my brother do then?"

Usami drew a deep breath. In all honesty he haven't thought about any of those things. Because the moment he asked Misaki to live with him, even before all the things in Sonate happened, he had already settled that his eyes, heart and soul were already set only for Misaki.

"Takahashi-san, the only sure thing in this place is that Misaki is my world. Please be rest assured that no matter what happens, it is always Misaki's well being that comes in first."

A silence enveloped them. It almost allowed them to hear not just the clock but the faint sound of shoes echoing in the hallways and the distant laughter coming from somewhere.

"Don't make him cry," Takahiro cut the silence with a furrow. "Don't let him feel alone. Don't let him get sick. And most of all, don't let others hurt him because if you fail to do these things...I swear Usami-san, even though I can't see and I can't walk, I am well aware of my capacity to kill."

Usami stepped closer to Takahiro's bed. He drew a deep breath once more and smiled.

"I won't give you the opportunity and the reason to kill me. That I can assure you."

Takahiro's stiff shoulders relaxed and for a moment, he smiled as well. The man raised his right hand as if in search for Usami's. And right that moment, Usami realized that both of them had this agreement. And a man's handshake enveloped with integrity and pride would seal it.

Without hesitating, Usami reached for the man's hand and grasped it tightly. All the assurance that with that very same hand, Misaki will be cared for tenderly.

After a couple of seconds, their hands parted and another silence prevailed. Usami has decided that he won't be leaving that room until he gets what he wanted.

"Takahashi-san...I have something to ask of you."

A questioning look flashed before the man's face and shifted on his bed. "What is it?"

With a straight face and a convicted voice, Usami Akihiko had muttered the words he thought he would never say in his life. "I am planning on adopting Misaki."

For a moment, Takahiro seemed not to have grasped the real meaning behind those words. He opened his mouth and closed them once more not knowing what to do with what he just heard.

"I am asking for your brother's hand," the silverhaired man continued.

That was when the bells started ringing in Takahiro's mind. Being with Arisaka-san almost all of the time the man was free, he was stuffed with information he wouldn't know if not for the blonde chatter box that always had the time for him and for his younger brother.

Once, Arisaka mentioned that adoption is synonymous to marriage for male to male couples. And hearing those words, hearing those almost unbelievable words himself, Takahiro was left with his chest in shambles.

The silence this time was heavier as both men weighed the impact of the words that was just muttered.

Takahiro was still speechless while Usami felt that after saying the words, it was more real than reality.

Usami just watched the man in hospital robes sigh and shake his head as if in deep thinking. His lavender eyes didn't fail to notice Takahiro's tightening grip on his blanket that was on his lap.

That moment, Takahiro had only one thing in mind. That if this man before him was not serious, the idea of tying himself down with his brother wouldn't even cross Usami's mind. He wasn't sure whether to feel at ease or to feel alarmed. Marriage, or in this case, adaption was a matter that was very new to him.

To Takahiro's surprise, he found his lips curling into a smile. "Whatever Misaki's decision is will be mine."

Usami touched Takahiro's hand that was resting on the man's lap for a short period of time. It was light, and warm accompanied by a small thank you that sounded teary to Takahiro.

Both men said their goodbyes with both their chests feeling a sense of companionship and bond. The bond was Misaki.

"No...no...winning the Sonate didn't make me free from working!" Misaki mumbled. "I even got busier!" he laughed. He was complaining jokingly because obviously, by the glow in his eyes he was enjoying every bit of it.

"I see..." Arisaka commented before taking a long drag of his cigarette. "Give me tickets to the new year's event okay? This time I am watching in person. I don't want to have to shout at the laptop anymore."

Again, Misaki laughed. The laughter that made the other people sitting on their benches smile on their own.

Adoration, love and utmost concern were glinting on Usami's eyes as he watched the back of his Misaki joke around with Arisaka.

As a composer and a song writer, Usami Akihiko had devoted part of his time reading and understanding emotions from stories and texbooks.

Now he didn't have to anymore. Before he only gets his inspiration from the lingering dream of having met a boy in the woods. Now his very same dream was within his grasp. There was one article he have read that lovers designed by fate and destiny have this sort of telepathy between them. More than words, it's the sense of feeling the other that allows them to tell whether one was in distress, in trouble or happy.

Because these lovers with deep connection which roots have coiled around strong emotions such as need and passion, their souls that have become half of the whole will be always in search for the other.

Call and the other half will respond.

"I'm here, Misaki," the man called in his mind as he remained standing there watching Misaki who had his back on him.

Like a camera panning closer, the whole picture focused on Usami Akihiko's perfect lips that curled into a charming, touching smile.

Misaki for no reason had turned his head right towards the vendo machine. Smiling, the teen waived his hand delighted, "Usagi-san!"

Indeed, there was no questioning to it. Usami Akihiko's other half did respond.

Who would have thought that right at that moment, it was a birthday celebration and not a deathrow sentence they were commemorating?

Io whose cheeks were faintly flushed due to the previous drinking he had was scowling on his seat. It was obvious the teen wasn't the least bit pleased to seat across this stranger before him. If possible, he didn't even want to have anything to do with Ijuuin Kyo. But then, the man was there, a freaking long time friend of his grandfather. What sort of curse was he having?

Ijuuin roamed his eyes around. The table where this chocolotae moose cake was lit with white candles was the only sweet thing on the table. Other than that, it was seaweed soup, tsukemen and roast beef prepapared for the celebration. It looked childish because of the balloons and the crazy hats scattered around. There was no doubt that the grandfather was more childish than the grandchild.

"Okay...okay. Before we start, why don't we give my precious grandson some words of appreciation or encouragement?!" the old man started, clapping his hands thrice.

The teen slumped on his chair and scowled even more. "Why can't we just freaking eat Ojii-chan?"

Frowning jokingly, the old man tapped his chest and cleared his throat. "Ah dear, birthdays only come once a year. Try to at least be grateful of the things that were given to you..."

"Fuck thankful," Io mumbled, crampling the tissue paper he grabbed off the table.

Kanata who was so used with this scenario every year sighed and smiled at his adopted father. "I'll start Ojii-chan."

"Ishi," Kanata started with a gaze at the other teen full of concern and more than that. "Happy nineteenth birthday."

Faking a smile which was very obvious, Io blew the hair that was dangling before his eyes.

"Thank you for accepting me and treating me as a family despite my circumstances..."

Hearing that, Io became poker faced. Treating family? To their neighbors' eyes, what Io mostly did was boss around Kanata like he was his personal servant. The birthday celebrant couldn't help wondering whether Kanata was a saint. Somehow reminds him of Misaki.

"I am sure, whatever you dream of, they'll come true."

If not for Io's grandfather who had smacked him on the back, Io wouldn't say anything at all.

"Ouch. Fine fine!" Io grumbled. After a couple of seconds, Io darted his gaze towards his plate, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

The laugh of the oldest man in that room was too loud. The chair scraping against the wooden floor was a little irritating to the ears but no one mentioned it. The old man stood and paid everyone on that room an approving look.

"Well...what can I say?" the man started sounding like he was about to cry. "I can't believe my little grandson has turned into someone as talented and good looking as this..." he sniffed and gazed lovingly at Io who had turned his gaze away.

Damn Ojii-chan so embarassing...

"Despite everything that has happened, I know Ishi you're strong. Keep that fighting spirit in you. I am sure they will be returned ten fold...I am sure...you'll get what you really dream of..." the old man sat back on his chair and reached for Ishi's hair. Patting it gently, he smiled. "I am very blessed to have a sweet and loving grandchild as you Ishi. Happy birthday."

What a doting grandfather. Ijuuin thought. Wherever he looked there was nothing 'sweet' about Io.

Io didn't answer. If anything, he wanted to just get it over with and eat.

On the other hand, Ijuuin found himself staring at Kanata and the old man alternatingly. It was as if these people's gazes were saying 'say something'. Io also felt that so he raised a brow at Ijuuin.

"You don't have to join in this cheesiness ," Io announced and started slicing a part of the cake for himself. "Let's just eat."

Io stared disbelieving at the old man when a wrinkled hand smacked his hand away from the cake. "At least let my visitor say something," the old man muttered frowning. "Ne...Ijuuin...I know you have something in your mind. Say it."

"Ha? Well..." Ijuuin sighed a defeated one. If he won't say anything, the old man would never leave him alone. "Okay."

Ijuuin turned his black gaze at the teen across him. Io was so uncooperative but he still dropped his heavy gaze at the brunette. He wanted to lock gazes with the teen. He didn't know but he realized that he did want to say something to Io.

"Are you holding a grudge to me about earlier?" Ijuuin asked without any expression on his face.

That caught Io's attention. He was indeed uncomfortable before the guy who rejected him. Well it wasn't really rejection since he was told to go home based on his abilities anyway. But that still hurt him and with that, he didn't want to see Ijuuin's mug or hear anything coming from the man.

"I'm a professional. Of course...not," the sound of Io's voice betrayed him though.

The other two persons Kanata and the old man was left out of the conversation but they didn't intervene. For they both felt that it was of importance whatever was being discussed.

Ijuuin wouldn't let go of Io. He kept his gaze at the green eyes staring back at him. Because Io was as stubborn as Ijuuin was, Io wouldn't allow himself to look away first. Doing so would mean another loss right? And so the battle of staring and searching into deep one's soul started.

"Actually, based on the events that happened, I think my personal motto would work on you," Ijuuin cut the silence with cold, careful words.

Io crossed his arms as if challenging Ijuuin. The old man was just left staring alternatingly from his guest to his grandson with patience.

"Never worry about the delay of your success compared to others..." Ijuuin started looking more serious as if he wanted to etch on Io's brain every single word he was saying. "Because construction of a palace takes more time than an ordinary building."*


For a moment, nothing else mattered. Io's stiff expression softened. And the crossed arms fell on his side.

Ijuuin who was having the serious face smiled faintly. It wasn't a huge smile. It was just a meer curling of the corners of his lips upwards with no more than five seconds. Somehow, out of all the things Io heard that evening, those were the words that formed a lump in his throat.

"Happy Birthday," Ijuuin ended with a more cheery tone.

The forced birthday celebration started. Kanata, the old man and Ijuuin started filling their plates with food. The lively chatterings filled the entire warm and homey kitchen. The clatterings of plates and glasses echoed even outside. And Io, the birthday celebrant just kept on stabbing his moose cake with his fork while throwing stolen glances at the darkhaired man who was currently busy chatting with his grandfather.

Construction of a palace huh? Io thought, stabbing his cake into pitiful pieces. I don't even have the foundation to begin with. What a joke.

Io did think that, but he just didn't want to admit that it gave him a little hope. Just a little to keep his fighting spirit still blazing. For in that moment, before Ijuuin told him that, his flame was already dying out.

"Hey! Hey! Let's take a picture!" Kanata exclaimed already setting the digital camera on timer.

The camera was setup before Io so he didn't have to stand anymore. With hurried steps that sent the floor shaking, Kanata and even the old man rushed to Io's side.

"Ei! Ijuuin, come join us!" the old man ordered.

Ijuuin looked at Io for a moment. Io darted his gaze away with a 'hmmft'. Smiling to himself, Ijuuin stood behind Io's chair.

"9...8...7" Kanata started counting.

Io who in his personality would still smile charmingly in front of the camera whatever the situation was started flashing his pearly whites. However, goosebumps started crawling on his arms when he felt a warm breath carressing his ears.


"Ne, Io-kun...why don't you work for me?" Ijuuin whispered ever so softly.

Abruptly, Io turned his surprised face at Ijuuin, accidentally brushing his lips against the tip of Ijuuin's nose.


Kanata who was a keen observer rushed towards the camera, getting to it before Io could.

"Damn it! Kanata, delete that picture! Delete that!" Io shouted, running after Kanata who started running out of the kitchen.

Within a matter of minutes, the boring celebration turned into chaos. Kanata's laughter filled the house, accompanied by Io's angry shouts and cursings.

"This is worth keeping for Ishi!" Running with his gaze at the screen of his digicam, he couldn't help but grin at the first time Io looked so surprised in a picture. The usual cold and emotionless smile Io always had was gone and was replaced by a funny shocked face. Not to mention Io had his lips on their guest's nose. It was quite a remembrance.

And for Kanata who always had to put Io's birthday pictures in an album, this picture accidentally taken was better than the smile with no feelings Io had before. For this one, Io looked lively and felt like he really was also just any human being.

Kanata's shout and laugh obviously coming from a distance made Ijuuin and the older man realize that the two teens had already taken their 'catch me' game out of the house.


"No way!"

"So...seems like I am missing on something important here, Ijuuin," the owner of the house started before gulping a mouthful of cold sake.

Ijuuin had his gaze out the window, catching a glimpse of running Kanata and Io outside.

"It's a crazy long story Ojii-chan. Even I don't know how it ended up like this," Ijuuin answered with an amused smiled.

"I heard it. You asking my grandson working for you. What is really going on?"

"Say...I want to help him build his own palace?" Ijuuin grinned. But the seriousness in his eyes were so visible the old man knew in an instant that Ijuuin wasn't joking.

The old man looked at the unfinished plate of Io and sighed. "And you be his contractor huh? That's funny..."

"You don't approve?"

The time the old man was thinking, it felt like the old man was weighing something inside him. After a full two-minute silence, he lifted his gaze at the dark eyes before him and sighed a happy one. "If Ishi will accept then I don't have any qualms about it. But let me remind you, Ishi had never worked in his entire life aside from his job before. He only know how to act spoiled and play instruments...what could he do for you?"

Ijuuin sipped a bit of his cold sake himself and smiled at the old man. "We'll see Ojii-chan. Anyway...can I ask for a favor?"

"Favor?" the old man creased his forehead. Ijuuin rarely, almost never asked for a favor. "What is it?"

"If it's possible, could you send me a copy of Io's medical records when he got sick?"

chapter end notes:

hi everyone! hahaha...hello? hello? hello? the kind words of people who supports this is my fuel! hahah...so thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!

"Never worry about the delay of your success compared to others. Because construction of a palace takes more time than an ordinary building."*-author unknown

shuusetsu's corner:

i just feel like sharing because i remembered it. there's no harm in it right?

once during school festival, since i was the curious type i walked around the stalls in search for something good. i was tired of marriage booths and haunted houses and i have no money anymore after all the eating i did.

on the school grounds, i noticed this huge round circles i didn't see earlier. off my stupid curiosity got the better of me and i tried to step on it. i haven't even placed my foot inside completely, seniors ran around me like i was a criminal.

well, technically i was a criminal that day because they said anyone who sets foot in that circle are convicts. so with my pleas not working, merciless seniors dragged me to what seemed like a prison with real bars.

it was full. the only way for me to get out was someone should bail me out. unfortunately, since i went on my own, there's no one to bail me out. poor me just massaged the bars with the other students shouting behind me. i stayed there for almost two hours.

then, like the defeated girl that i was, hungry and tired from waiting, someone called out to me.

"this suits you."

when i looked up, it was my classmate that always got this annoying air around him.


he narrowed his eyes and looked past through the bars as if he was watching a show.

"you guys look like caged monkeys."

i scowled at him. "if you don't plan on bailing me out just shut up and leave."

he somehow laughed and really left me! i couldn't believe him.

but then, after a couple of minutes, one of the 'guards' of that prison called me and said i was free.

i guess he did bail me out. though he already disappeared and went back to our class' booth.

school festivals are always fun. makes you feel alive. :*:・( ̄∀ ̄)・:*: