His inability to lie was completely embarrassing, he couldn't do anything without having to be honest and he found himself irritated that he should always be truthful when he knew full well that he was extended the same courtesy. Which was why he found himself completing his ritualistic knock at Penny's door. A moment of doubt passed through him, was this the right thing to do? But when his neighbour answered the door in nothing more than his missing flash t shirt, that thought was pushed right out his head.
"thief!"he exclaimed, sending Penny jumping backwards in shocked response. Forgetting all about social dictations of waiting to be invited before entering another's dwelling, he pushed past her to proceed on a long winded and condescending lecture on right and wrong. By the time he reached the end Penny was sat on her sofa, half a bottle of wine consumed and her inhibitions vastly affected.
"fine! Sheldon if it'll get you off my fricking back, take your damn shirt! Came the irritated outburst as she ripped the tshirt, forgetting all about her naked frame that lay beneath.
Letting out a squeak, Sheldon turned his body away and begin to recite the periodic table in his mind whilst willing his heart rate to return to normal. Having realised her mistake Penny threw the tshirt back on and began apologising profusely.
"it's perfectly alright Penny, I have seen this before after all. Soup remember?" a quirky smile thrown in and a hot beverage issued to try and sober her up, Sheldon began explaining his dilemma in great detail, much to Penny's irritation.
"Look sweetie, I'm tired, embarrassed and I'm gonna have a hell of a hangover in the morning, please just stop. I get it, really. But you can lie Sheldon. DON'T interrupt! You may be starting to understand sarcasm but when you use it you deadpan, and sound genuine. And jeez if that doesn't work, then just just say something and when you walk away or they are focused on something else just say your nonsense word!"
Sheldon was stunned. This idea was... Brilliant. She really should have kept up with college, forgotten her silly dream, she contained real potential. "well Penny, may I say you have once again surprised me with your hidden intelligence. Not as great as mine of course, but anyone's pales in comparison. Now I shall go and put this theory of yours into practice."
He got up, graceful as ever, and stopped short when he reached the door, turning around considering. "Penny. You are a good friend and friends give each other gifts that are thoughtful and sentimental correct?" receiving a nod, he continued, "very well, then you may wish to know that my mere maw bought me my flash shirt and I love it very much. But thanks to my eidetic memory I shall never have to lose the memory of it and so, as thank you, I would... Like... No I wouldn't be adverse to... That is I..."
"Sweetie! What are you saying?" Penny interjected losing patience as the pounding in her head increased.
"Keep it. You like it, I like you and my meemaw is fond of what I have told her of you. She won't mind and strangely neither do I. Goodnight... Moon penny."
"moon penny? Really moon pie?"
a small quirk of the lips was all she received as he once again began to open the door. "Penny you are my best friend but you I don't like it when you call me moon pie."
Shutting the door behind him he closed his eyes and whispered "bazinga". Truth be told he couldn't imagine anything better but he couldn't back down now. He was in too deep, he committed himself to keeping her at a distance, and now he had to keep swimming in the lies he was drowning in. At least now he could lie by bazinga.