CHAPTER 3

Been quite some time since the last update…

But! I TOTALLY got that reference, onewiththetree! *"Nudge"* Glad you liked it! Since I don't really bother trying to learn the names of K-pop people, I don't know who you're referencing. Like, I try, with the dudes I like, but then I get confused, and then I forget… unless it's really easy to remember, like "Cnu," "Onu," "TOP," "Taeyang," "G-dragon" (Kai, Kris, Lay, etc.). Oh, and yall should totally check out her(?) artwork on deviantart, they're CUUUUTE!

Also thanks to Amyst and NoName-chan for reading this, even though it hadn't been updated in a while when you guys did. Sankyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Anyways. Enough with the reviews! On to the… disappointing chapter.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DGM.

OxO

Author: Say, where's that money you promised?

Lenalee: Oh, that? It went into paying the hospital bills.

Author: Wha—? Again? I told Komui not to hurt Lavi!

Lenalee: Lavi? I'm talking about Allen's.

Author: Oh. Then… nothing's wrong with Lavi? Why isn't he here then?

Lenalee: What? Oh, he's seeing his therapist and his physical instructor.

Author: Therapist? Physical instructor?!

Lenalee: Yeah, he's still having a few problems, after we unhooked him from the K-90F23 Virtual Reality apparatus.

Author: How long was he hooked up?

Lenalee: Oh, only for a week and a half. Nii-san must've given him some strange body accelerator though, because the doctors said his muscles were atrophying at a faster rate than normal. No worries though, Author! We've got someone else standing in for him for the MVs!

Author: That's not why I was worried…

Lenalee: Oooh, I get it now! He'll be fine down there, Author, just give him a week or two.

Author: WHAT!? T-That's not—!

Lenalee: And THERE is our stand-in for Lavi!

Krory: W-What's happening, Lenalee…?

Author: Holy fucking—

Krory: Y-You—

Author: HAI HAI?

Lenalee: What's going on, guys? Stop flirting, we've got a cover to do!

Author turns back to Lenalee with forced cheer while steadfastly avoiding eye contact with the vampire fanatic.

Author: SOOO, what song are we doing this time?

Lenalee: Oh. Unfortunately, there isn't a "we" this time around.

Author: What? Why? When did you decide this?

Lenalee: Just a moment ago, when your eye started twitching like crazy.

Author slumps in mock disappointment.

Author: That's too bad, then…

Lenalee: You can man the kitchen.

Author: Oh. Joy.

Lenalee boots Author to kitchen.

Lenalee: Now then, what should we—mph!

Krory: U-Unhand her, y-you… jerk with thick glasses!

Tyki: What? Are you near-sighted as well as cannibalistic? I'm not even wearing glasses right now. And the answer to your demand is an obvious "NO." She's got to receive some sort of punishment for her treatment of those idiot twins, even if they deserved it.

Tyki looks around before comically blinking and dumping Lenalee's limp body on the ground.

Tyki: Say, where's poker boy and the rabbit?

Krory: S-Somewhere safe from your… your lecherous hands!

Author: Say, Krory, you want blood type A or—Holy fucking shit!

Krory: I-I'd prefer the former, if that's okay with you…

Author: No shit! Why's—?

Tyki: Ah, if it isn't the delicate damsel from before.

Author: HI HI?

Tyki: I see they're causing a problem for you again… Would you like me to rid you of it?

Author: Um, I think I'm good… I've, uh, grown quite partial to, um, it.

Tyki: Oh.

Tyki's hand shoots through Krory's chest and the vampire collapses.

Tyki: Pity, that.

Author: I was talking about the blood bag, what the fuck's yourHOOOLY—

Blood Krory stands up.

Author: —FUCKINSHIT.

Tyki: What kind of bloody—

Blood Krory advances on Tyki.

Author: Um, Tyki, I think you should leave.

Tyki: I can Choose, remember? I'll be—

Blood Krory sticks a hand through Tyki's chest.

Author: Hoooly fuckin' shit there's blood and sexy on the floor, whatdoIdowhatdoI—

Blood Krory turns to Author.

Author: Heeheehee I don't know my bloodtype so ah—

Blood Krory does a Phantom and makes out the door with Tyki and Krory's bodies in hand.

Author: Ooohkay, if you wanted to have some time alone I could've let you use the bathroom. The walls aren't too thin…

Millennium Earl: Where has my doll's replacement gone~ ‹3?

Author: Oh yeah about thaWHATTHEFUCK?

Millennium Earl: I'm looking for Nea's doll~ ‹3

Author: Y-Yeah okay um, t-that's not very nice, calling Tyki that…

Dark aura engulfs the rotund man.

Millennium Earl: Oh, is it~ ‹3?

Author: Ooh well I wouldn't know, ya know? I mean, hahah, you're British royalty—I mean, you're an Earl—so I wouldn't know as much as you about, um, proper etiquette and all that, hahah… hah. Want some brownies? They don't have weed. Because I don't do weed. I'm sure you don't do weed either. Since you're royalty and all that. Right?

Millennium Earl: No, I very much prefer libido and absynth~ ‹3

Author: Right. Haven't, um, had that myself. Is it… good?

Millennium Earl: Particularly in bed, yes~ ‹3

Author: I-Is that…

Author turns green.

Author: I-I'm gonna, um, go to the bathroom, so uh… help yourself to whatever's around the house.

Millennium Earl: Yes, that girl lying over there looks rather appetizing~ ‹3

OUO"

Who is this "Author" in here? Don't think it sounds like me, I think, but then… it has to be, since the eye-twitching-furiously thing actually happened, once. I was at a colorguard competition in April, championships and all that, ya know? We're supposed to "perform" (smile fanatically no matter what crazy shit happens i.e. one of your team mates accidentally grabs your flag [that happened to me too, unfortunately… my sister, the first time, and our team captain, the second] ) and… I kept it up! But… my face didn't like it, apparently. Hence the twitching.

Maybe it IS someone else, like… *looks around furtively * an imposter…

Well, I think imma end it here. Like, officially. This is sorta boring for me to write, and… I got nine other fanfics to work on, and that's only referring to the ones posted up on FFdotNET, not the ones where I'm still trying to finish up the first chapter. So yeaaah. Sorry for that half-assed chapter. And I remember so looking forward to the photo shoot and fake yaoi session…

KIDDING. Sorry. Fortunately for yalls, I stupidly, idiotically promised myself I wouldn't abandon any fics of mine. That up there was a lapse in resolve of mine from some time back, wotwot.

Again, hope you weren't expecting TOO much, cuz this woulda disappointed. Gosh, so hard knowing if you're being funny… *BANGBANGBANG*