AN: OKAY I KNOW. Amortentia fics are such clichés, but I couldn't help myself! And this one's got a bit of a humorous twist, so I hope you like it! This is a oneshot, by the way - unless I get a miraculous stroke of inspiration and decide to continue it. Which I highly doubt. Also, this is my third update of the night! IT'S A MIRACLE. Actually, it's just because my GCE O levels are over.



Rose squeaked and slid into her usual seat, next to me, in the potions dungeon.

I turned around and looked at her as if she was mad. Maybe she was. Rose didn't squeak often. She smiled widely at me.

"What the hell are you grinning about?" I asked cautiously.


"You're on a love potion?" I choked out, eyes widening. "Did Belby slip something into your drink?" I asked immediately. "I saw the way he was looking at you the other day, and I swear-"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not, stupid." She shoved me in the arm for good measure. "Slughorn's teaching us about Amortentia! Look at the cauldron on his table."


"Aren't you excited?!" she near-screamed after a minute of silence.

"Not really."

"Why not?" she exclaimed incredulously.

"Because," I drawled, "I'm not the giggly school girl you have suddenly become."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Her voice returned to its normal pitch. "When my mum was in sixth year and she smelt Amortentia, she smelled my dad's hair! And they're married now!" Her pitch was beginning to rise again. "So you see, I'm excited because of true love and all that crap. I NEED TO SMELL THAT POTION."

"Such a girl," I muttered, and earned a hard thwack in the stomach, courtesy of the back of Rose's palm.

When I whimpered in pain, she muttered, "Such a wimp."

I grunted as Slughorn entered class.

"Amortentia!" he cried out dramatically, without waiting for us to greet him.

Then he went on talking, something about how true love could never be created, not even by this potion. Something about a powerful infatuation or whatnot. I usually tuned out when he began speaking – I never really understood the need for a potions professor. You just follow the instructions in the book.

The next thing I knew, Rose's hand was shooting in the air. This, surprisingly, is not as common an occurrence as you would expect it to be. Rose had all the intelligence of her mother, but she was never one for flaunting it in class. She was a normal student – although frightfully hardworking – paying attention when she felt she had to, but also not so uptight about it that she felt the need to impress all her teachers. It was quite admirable, actually, having all that knowledge and talent and not wanting to show off.

"So we have volunteers! Miss Weasley, Mr Malfoy, please, come to the front of class and take a whiff!"

I glanced uneasily at Rose. "What did we volunteer for, again?" I asked as she stood up.

She grinned at me. "I am going to smell true love."

I rolled my eyes and followed her to the front of class.

She was right though – the Amortentia fumes were rising in spirals and as we walked toward the cauldron, I tried not to inhale too conspicuously.

I would never admit this, but it smelled like heaven.

As we stood over the cauldron, Rose in front of me and me behind – not that that barred my vision much; she was tiny – I caught a whiff of my mother's French toast – yes, my mother, Astoria Malfoy, cooked – and also something that smelled faintly like broomstick polish. I moved closer to the cauldron and inhaled again, but scowled this time.

I nudged Rose away from me.

"Weasley, get out of the way," I muttered. "I'm smelling your bloody strawberry perfume instead of the fumes."

She glared at me. "I could say the same. Stop breathing over me," she complained. "All I'm getting is your stupid minty smell."

I scowled at her and moved away.

Slughorn was still watching us, evidently very amused with our conversation.

I inhaled again, this time an arm's length away from Rose.

All I got was her ruddy starberries and French toast and broomstick polish. It smelled bloody wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I smelt the wrong thing.

"You're bloody all the way there," I said without thinking. "I don't understand how I can still smell you instead of-"

Slughorn chuckled abruptly, but I ignored him.

"I know! I've got the exact same-"

Slughorn coughed loudly.

"Sir?" Rose asked, looking rather annoyed. "Are you alright?"

The large, old, walrus-man smirked. "You're an intelligent girl, Miss Weasley. I imagine you can figure it out."

I inhaled again, unable to help myself. "Why the hell are you wearing so much perfume?" I demanded.

"I'm not!" Rose cried.

"Well it can't be the damn potion, can it?"

Rose's eyes widened and she leaned forward, taking another whiff. Then she looked like she was going to pass out.

Then I put two and two together.

I smelled true love. I smelled Rose Weasley's perfume.

"Oh shit."

AN: There it is! For anyone who is curious, I imagine Rose smells rain, (you know the smell of rain, right? The fresh one? Am I making sense?) old books, and Scorpius Malfoy's minty soapy boy smell. :D

Also, I am curious here. What do you think you would smell in Amortentia? I reckon I'd smell waffles, the sea, and whoever I fall in love with when the time comes. You probably didn't need to know that.

Anywaaaay, don't forget to review!