Loving You Is A Curse
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. If I did then I wouldn't be writing this. Naoko Takeuchi owns Sailor Moon.
Usagi was in a happy mood today. It was late in the afternoon and she had just got back home after a date with Mamoru. Still excited from the date, she decided to walk to the shrine to tell Rei about her awesome day. When she reached the shrine, she noticed Rei was feeding her pet crows. The miko appeared weak, as if she was about to fall over, and she was wearing a surgical mask. Usagi ran to her.
Rei turned around. She was wobbling. "Usa, stay back. I have the flu."
Usagi ignored the miko and helped her stand. "You don't need to be out here, Rei. You're going inside."
Rei was too weak to argue so she followed Usagi's lead. They went into Rei's room where Usagi helped take off her miko garments and put on pajamas. Usagi then laid Rei in her bed.
"What are you doing here anyways, Usa?"
"I'm here to help you."
"No, what did you originally come here for?"
Usagi placed her hand on Rei's forehead. "That doesn't matter now. Rei, you're burning up. Let me check your temperature." Usagi grabbed the thermometer on the counter and placed it in Rei's mouth. After a few minutes, Usagi checked the reading.
"Rei, your temperature is 104 degrees! Have you been taking any medicine?"
"I have medicine from a while back in the bathroom cabinet, but I haven't taken it. I wanted to get better on my own," Rei said with a stuffy nose.
"Nonsense Rei, you're going to take the medicine right after I make you some chicken noodle soup."
"I don't want to hear it, Rei." Usagi made her way out of the room. "I will be back in a few minutes."
A few minutes later, Usagi came back with the bowl of soup. She pulled up a chair next to Rei and aimed a spoon full of soup towards her mouth.
"Open up, Rei."
"You can't be serious, Usa. Can I at least feed myself?"
"I'm not a child, Usa. Let me feed myself."
Usagi slightly bent her head, with hurt in her eyes.
"Usa?" Rei asked in a more compassionate tone.
"I just wanted to take care of you Rei. You do a lot for me and I just wanted to return the favor."
Rei felt bad. "Damn, why do I always have to hurt her?" she asked herself.
"I'm sorry, Usa. I didn't mean to hurt you. It just caught me off guard. Look, I'll be good."
Usagi saw that Rei was now opening her mouth. Usagi smiled and spoon fed the soup to her. Once Rei was finished, Usagi grabbed the medicine from the bathroom. She then read the labels and instructions on the back.
"Okay, Rei, this medicine will make you sleepy, but it will help. Are you ready?"
Rei nodded and Usagi measured the amount she needed and gave it to Rei. While they were waiting for the medicine to kick in, Usagi looked at the chest rub on the counter.
"Umm, Rei?" Usagi asked shakily.
"It sounds like you are having a hard time breathing. C-can I apply some of that chest rub on you?"
"If you w-want to Usa. I don't mind."
Usagi pulled her chair closer to Rei. She took a deep breath and slowly began to undo her buttons from top to bottom. Usagi then exposed her pajama top. Both girls momentarily blushed at each other. Usagi then unscrewed the cap and placed some of the chest rub on her fingers.
"Now just relax, Rei," Usagi said, pressing her now lubricated fingers against Rei's chest and rubbing it.
Rei laid back into her pillow and inhaled in the vapors. She started to feel groggy from the medicine. Usagi's massage wasn't helping her to stay awake either, but it felt good so she didn't mind.
Once Usagi was finished, she wiped her fingers with a tissue and buttoned up Rei's top. Usagi noticed that the medicine was taking its effect on Rei. Her eyes were half opened and her breathing became slower.
"I know that I always give you a hard time, but I wanted to thank you."
Usagi smiled. "Well, that's what friends are for, Rei."
"You are indeed a good friend. I just wish that we were more than friends."
Usagi's heart skipped a beat. "More than friends?"
"Yes. I love you, Usagi."
Usagi's eyes widened. "You….love me?"
"Yes, I do. I have loved you for the longest. I know that I cannot have you though, because your heart belongs to Mamoru. That was written in the past and its set in stone for the future. You two were destined to be together. I remember when Tuxedo Mask became injured during the fight with Zoisite, and how you turned into Princess Serenity. I knew that day would be the start of eternal pain that I would suffer. As I watched him lay on your gown, I couldn't help but to feel jealous. Don't get me wrong, I deeply cared about his well-being, but I secretly wished that it was me who took the blow for you. I wished that it was me who got to rest on your gown."
Rei violently coughed. She fumbled with her surgical mask and secured it on her face. Usagi could hear her chest congestion. She placed her hand over Rei's forehead and took her temperature again.
"Rei, you're burning up even more! You're temperature is now 108 degrees!" Usagi said with panic.
"It's okay, princess," Rei said with her voice slightly slurred. "This is nothing compared to the pain I feel in my heart every single day."
"But Rei, I thought you loved Yuichiro?"
Rei chuckled. "I never loved that guy. Believe me, I tried to, but you are the only one that I could ever have feelings for. And then there's Chibiusa. When she first arrived, something told me in the back of my mind that she was your future daughter. I didn't want to believe it. I actually ignored that feeling, but senses don't lie. "
Rei's voice began to tighten and crack. Her eyes watered. She tried to hold in her tears, but they fell from her face of their own free will. "Then, when we traveled to the future, and King Endymion, told us who Chibiusa was…."
Rei couldn't finish her sentence. More tears poured from her face. She took a big swallow and continued.
"I wondered who I could blame for the hurt that I felt. I could never blame you, Mamoru, or Chibiusa, so I started to resent Setsuna."
"Why Setsuna, Rei?"
"Because, she showed us the future. I know she did that because of the Black Moon Clan, but her words stayed with me."
Rei wiped her tears and leaned forward, glaring up at the air. "No one should see their future," Rei mocked. "No one should see their future," she mocked again in a huskier tone. She pointed her finger in the air. "Setsuna, I know you can see me from that time gate of yours, and you're damn right that no one should see their future. Because you allowed us to, my life in the present has become even more miserable than I thought it could be, so thank you."
Rei then hobbled out of her bed and slowly made her way towards the mirror. She looked as if she forgot Usagi was in the room.
"But, it's not her fault though. I can only blame myself. Once Chibiusa went back to her home, I went to the docks. I stared at my reflection in the water, just like I'm doing right now. I took a good look at myself, and said, "Rei, you are her protector. YOU ARE HER PROTECTOR! SHE CAN NEVER BE YOUR LOVE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR MIND AND ACCEPT IT!" My tears made splashes in the water. I asked myself, "Why? Why do I have to go through this?" Almost immediately after I asked that question, someone responded."
"There are two types of Sailor Senshi, Rei. There is the Sailor Senshi who can be happy. Then, there is you and me."
"I saw Minako's reflection in the water and turned around. She placed her hand on my shoulder."
"But we can suffer together, Rei. From Kaitou Ace's curse that was placed on me, to your unrequited love for her, we don't have to go through this alone. There's no need to."
"I saw Minako's true self for the first time. Underneath that cheerful and bubbly mask were eyes that showed pain¸ bitterness, and compassion all wrapped up into one. I understood those eyes. She understood my pain. Before I could say anything, it started to pour down from the sky, so we went back to the shrine. There, I buried my head in her chest and cried. She rubbed my back and whispered to me. I can still remember the conversation."
"Ssssssshhh, it's okay, Rei. It's okay."
"But why me?"
"Because, we were born to suffer. "That" is our destiny."
"She lifted my chin, wiped the tears from my face, and smiled."
"But Rei, it's not all gloom and doom. We will always have each other."
"She gazed into my eyes, as if she read my soul. Our faces moved closer with her lips parted. She closed her eyes and I felt her lips press against mine. It felt odd at first, but then, it started to feel….right. The next day, we woke up nude in the bed, embraced in each other's arms."
Usagi gasped. "You had sex with Minako?!"
"We didn't have sex. We made love, not out of romance, but for comfort. She knew that I could never love her like I love you, but she needed it. I needed it. All we had were each other. You have Mamoru and Chibiusa, Makoto seems to have a companionship with Ami, and the Outers stay to themselves, so it was bound to happen. She became my rock afterwards. I told her how I admired Seiya's persistence when he was trying to court you, even though I knew that it would end up in failure. Now that he and the other Starlights are gone, Crystal Tokyo is right around the corner. That means I have to suffer for at least another thousand years."
Usagi was shocked to hear such a confession from her friend. She came to the conclusion that Rei's declining mindset from her sickness combined with the medicine she took was the reason why she confessed at all. Rei wouldn't dare these things otherwise. She would keep them to herself for an eternity. Usagi would even bet that Rei wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow.
"I….I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Usa. Loving you is a curse, but it's a curse that I will gladly bear for the rest of my life because you're worth every ounce of pain."
Rei removed herself from the mirror's view as she became dizzy and stumbled on the bed. "Destiny," she scoffed. "It's bullshit, and I'm tired."
Usagi hated to see her friend suffer like this. Usagi wanted Rei to be happy, but there wasn't much she could do.
"I could give her one thing," Usagi thought. She reached into her jacket and pulled out her Luna Pen.
When Rei's dizziness resided, she turned her head and saw Usagi laying next to her, but, she was dressed differently. She resembled Princess Serenity and her gown flowed over the bed.
"I'm here, Rei."
Rei unconsciously crawled over to Usagi in her Serenity form and laid on her gown. She was finally going to get at least one thing she desired. Rei got lost in the gown as the royal silk touched her skin.
"Thank you, Usa."
"Sure thing, Rei."
"So, will you tell me why you came over here now, Usagi?"
Usagi hesitated for a moment. "I….I wanted to tell you, about my date with Mamoru."
Rei laughed. "Well, go ahead. Tell me how your date with Mamoru went."
"It was nice. He gave me roses, we went out to eat, took a walk in a park, and then he brought me home. It was very romantic."
"It sounds like it was. Mamoru is a very lucky man to have you."
"If I didn't love him, then I could see us being together."
Rei snuggled herself deeper into Usagi's gown. "But you do love him. I wish Setsuna could freeze this moment in time forever."
Before Usagi could say anything, she noticed that Rei's eyes were closed. The medicine had finally taken its toll. Silent tears streamed from the blonde's eyes while Rei slept. She peeled the surgical mask from Rei's face and got closer to her.
"I'm sorry, Rei," Usagi whispered before kissing her on the lips. She pushed her tongue further into Rei's mouth, exploring every inch of the moist area. Rei stayed asleep during the whole process. When Usagi removed herself from Rei, she brushed the sleeping miko's temple.
"At least we can share the flu together soon," Usagi said.
That would be the only thing they could share together.
What did you think about this story? Did you like it? Was it awful? Reviews are always appreciated whether they are good are bad. Don't keep me in the dark. I was actually sick when I came up with the idea for this story. I intended for this story to be a one-shot only, but I'm thinking about making a short follow up chapter that takes place in Crystal Tokyo. I'm still on the fence about it though. Anyways, thanks for reading!