THIS IS A REAL CHAPTER! I'm taking this story out of retirement and giving it some new life! Ashleywhitener asked if I could try writing what happened after Cassie died in Daryl's POV, so I gave it a shot let me know what you think and if I should try and continue this! Ashleywhitener I hope this is what you hoped it would be!~~~
I aimed my crossbow at her head; Cassie's eyes were shut and her head hanging so she wasn't looking at me. Her chest ever so slightly rising and falling with each limited breath she took, I lowered my bow and knelt down so I was level with her. Reaching out my hand I touched her boiling hot skin, lifting her head so she wasn't staring at the ground. She slowly opened her eyelids revealing her light blue eyes, bloodshot and starting to go yellow, she didn't need to say what she was thinking, not that she probably could at this point, but I knew what it was.
"I know Cas, jus' do it already, but I don't want ta, I know stop bein' a bitch about it and do what ta told me ta do," my voice shook as the tears came freely flowing from my eyes.
Nobody ever saw me cry… and nobody ever will not after this, Cassie is the only person I will ever trust enough to let see me this vulnerable. My heart was racing, and through my crying I couldn't get a deep breath. Get it together you fucking asshole stop being a little bitch; don't let her see you like this! It isn't what she would want! I wiped the tears from my face and locked eyes with hers, I had to get one last look at her before I could never see her again; I wanted… no needed to take everything I could in.
She had a tattered light blue shirt on that, on a bright sunny day like this matched her eyes, and ripped up black skinny jeans. Her shirt was splattered with black, dried zombie goo shit from the top of her collar bone right down the front and probably onto her jeans. I looked up from her clothes and took in her face, her gorgeous face, the face that went through hell with me, the face that awkwardly came up to me at lunch, and that face that I have always loved more than anything or anyone else. I know she didn't want me to remember her for the way she looked at this very moment, but the way she looked before this, when she was happy… and not dying in front of someone she loved.
"I'm sorry Cas, I just couldn't do it without getting one last good look at ya," I wiped another falling tear from my eye as my voice echoed in the silent forest.
I took a deep shaky breath and shut my eyes again; I was ready if she was ready…I pulled myself together as much as I could as I readied my bow one more time, this time ready to use it. Her eyes were still open and looking at me pleading for me to be ready; I nodded but I'll never be ready for this.
"I'm so sorry Cas, I love you so much," my voice was low and horse from the yelling and crying.
I bent down next to her and grabbed her piping hot hand, squeezing it as tight as I could, then she did something, or at least I think she did. She ever so lightly, probably taking every last ounce of strength in her body, squeezed my hand back; her way, I'm sure, of reassuring me everything was going to be alright. Even when she was dying she wanted me to know everything was going to be okay for me… I put the bow to the side of her head, making sure her hair would cover the wound, and readied myself to pull the trigger. I shut my eyes tight, bowed my head and pulled the trigger, and the familiar sound of the arrow piercing its target echoed in my ears, over and over again. Her hand went slack and so did the rest of her body, but that didn't stop me from holding on to her as tight as I possibly could; I wasn't ready for this. I dropped the crossbow, it making a thump on the floor, I couldn't hold that thing… not right now… not after what I just had to do with it…
I opened my eyes and looked up at the woman I fell so hard for, this damn stupid woman who gave me hell every second of the day! This fucking woman who changed my whole life just by saying hi to me at school; she didn't know what she was getting herself into… maybe if she never met me, none of this would have happened… She would probably be safe somewhere with a family, not laying here in the woods killed because a fucking son of a bitch walker cut her life short! My eyes finally managed to work their way over to the fatal wound in her head. The force of my damn arrow forced her head to cock to the side, her whole body leaning off the side of the. No! I stood up and her body back upright, the arrow still sticking out of the side of her head, making her pretty face look gruesome; she didn't deserve that. I took another deep breath to calm the nerves racing around my body. I wrapped my fingers around the arrow that ended her life and slowly pulled it, not to disturb anything or her… I know it's stupid to think that I was disturbing her, she wasn't sleeping, but I just couldn't be rough with her… I never could not then and certainly not now.
As I looked at Cas's body, I knew what she would be saying right now… it would be something like "Damn, I really looked a mess and what the hell took ya so long to off me!" I couldn't help the tiny ghost of a smile that was starting to play on my lips… She would make a joke about her dying because that's the kind of person she is… was…
"Daryl, everything alright," Rick's voice startled me out of my thought I spun the bloody arrow raised in defense.
"Does it look okay," I mumbled dropping my hand back to my side. I didn't want to be rude to Rick but this was just out of habit now… how the hell could he think anything was alright.
His footsteps closed in on the area I was standing and he placed his hand on my shoulder, which I shrugged away from; I didn't want anyone touching me
"Stupid question I guess," his voice was tired but he was trying to be comforting… I should at least thank him for trying…
"Yeah," I grumbled still not taking my eyes off of Cassie's body.
"I'll get everyone if that's what you want me to do," He offered.
"I think she'd like that," I finally turned my gaze away from her and looked at my friend, the look on his fce dripping with sympathy; I didn't need his sympathy.
"I'll be back in a few minutes," he slowly lifted his hand to pat me on the shoulder but thought better of it before walking away.
I walked forward bent down and grabbed the necklace she was wearing, it was the one I gave to her for her 21st birthday. I couldn't leave that behind; I needed something to keep, to remember her by. The rest of the group came too quickly after that each one with the same damn face on as they looked at me; I didn't need this shit, I hated when people looked at me like that…
"Little brother," Merles distinct raspy voice called out from behind me. "You wanna dig,"
"Merle! Of course he doesn't why would you ask that," Lori's voice chimed in.
I snatched the shovel from my brothers hand and shoved it into the ground "Some ones gotta do it, it might as well be me," I grunted as I shoved the shovel into the ground again. In all honestly, I had to keep myself moving otherwise I would break down again and I didn't want to do it in front of these damn people; Merle knew that.