It has come to my attention that I've been spelling Mulciber's name with as Mulcriber, I didn't even notice o.o thank you for mentioning it ^^
Chapter 21 – Too late?
Sirius stared at him with a stony expression that Remus couldn't read. At first he thought that Sirius was angry. His face was white and his lips were pressed tightly together. Suddenly Remus realised that it wasn't an angered expression, but a pained one. Sirius was probably still suffering from Snape's curse.
Remus tried to get out of Sirius' grip. It was obviously hurting Sirius to carry him, but Sirius was stronger, the intensity of the pained expression raised and Remus figured that he was hurting Sirius even more with his struggling. This made him stop at once.
The black haired boy looked at him and hugged him tightly.
"Let go of me, Sirius. Not here," Remus said.
Sirius loosened his grip and began to walk, Remus still in his arms.
"What are you doing here?" Remus asked, accepting the fact that he was going to be carried.
"James told me," he simply said.
That bastard, he couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it, Remus should've known.
As they made a right turn Remus realised that Sirius wasn't taking him to The Gryffindor Tower.
"Ehh, Sirius, where are we going?" Remus asked, absentmindedly playing with Sirius' collar. His head was hurting like crazy.
"The Hospital Wing. You're hurt" Sirius replied curtly.
"No, I'm not" Remus argued.
Sirius didn't bother answering, he just looked at Remus with raised brows.
Suddenly Sirius spoke "You're not doing anything like that ever again" Remus opened his mouth to argue, but Sirius cut him off "Don't argue me. You're not made to fight. You could have died." Sirius' eyes were alive with concern.
"I won" Remus mumbled against Sirius' neck. He felt Sirius stiffen.
"You what?" Sirius asked in a voice that sounded like he was going to faint.
"I won" Remus repeated, "I broke Mulciber's nose"
Sirius started to laugh. It was a mix between a tinkly surprised laughter and a humourless laughter. He held Remus tightly and then placed a gentle kiss on Remus' lips. Remus pressed his lips against Sirius', starving for a proper kiss, but then he realised that they were standing in the middle of corridor and pulled back.
"Not here" Remus said.
Sirius stared into his eyes, then he hoarsely whispered: "No one is going to see us" and pressed his lips against Remus' again.
This time Remus didn't pull back. Instead he replied the kiss and parted his lips to allow Sirius' tongue entrance. Sirius deepened the kiss and Remus tangled his hands into Sirius' shining black hair.
Sirius slowly loosened his grip around Remus' legs and lowered him to the floor without letting go of Remus' lips. Sirius pressed Remus roughly against the wall, perhaps to make sure Remus didn't fall over. Remus' skin was burning in the places Sirius' body pressed against his.
Sirius' hands slid under Remus' shirt and brushed against his ribs, sending shivers down Remus' spine. Sirius' hands slowly moved downwards.
"No, Sirius" Remus moaned against Sirius' lips. Then he drew a deep breath "I'm not ready" and gently pushed Sirius away. Sirius' expressions darkened, then he picked Remus up again and continued the walk towards The Hospital Wing.
Remus was sure that Sirius' patience was running out, he wasn't going to wait forever, but Remus just wasn't comfortable with it. He still hadn't accepted the fact that he was gay entirely and he wasn't ready to tell anyone about his non-straightness or his relationship with Sirius.
Sirius was standing in the corridor. He had just handed Remus over to Madam Pomfrey and knew that he ought to join him in The Hospital Wing. His entire body was aching from the healing cuts, carrying Remus hadn't helped and he was certain that some of the wounds had reopened.
He started to walk. He was heading for The Astronomy Tower, hoping that the little slimes were still there. He didn't exactly have a plan, but on the other hand Sirius never used plans, so far it had worked very well, or… well. Allright maybe it hadn't worked exactly great, but hey, he hadn't been killed, yet.
No one touched his Remus without paying. Remus had sworn that he wasn't hurt, but the distant look in his eyes had been obvious and he hadn't been able to walk by himself, he had almost fallen down the stairs, Sirius thought, his palms grew wet with fear of what could've happened.
If he knew the Slytherins they would still be there, arguing over who was responsible for the cock up and hexing each other into obliviation. He almost began to giggle when he thought of his cousin Bellatrix's reaction, but stopped himself, Sirius Black did not giggle.
As he had suspected the Slytherins were still in the tower, arguing loudly.
Sirius hid himself at the end of the stairs, waiting for their arguing to stop. He knew he couldn't fight all six of them on the same time, he had to hope for them to split up and then choose one of the groups to follow. He hoped that he'd get a chance to beat up Mulciber and maybe also Snivellus.
His wish was granted; in that very moment Mulciber and Avery went past him in a hurry and after a second Snape rushed after them, looking angry.
Sirius followed them silently for a while.
"That creep" Mulciber said, clutching his nose, "I'm going to find him and murder him."
"Didn't you promise not to touch him if he won?" Avery said.
Mulciber shot him a cold look "The prat wasn't supposed to win."
Snape caught up with them.
"But he did. Broke your nose, didn't he?" Snape said with a cool voice.
Mulciber spun around.
"Snape, how lovely to see you" Mulciber said in the silky voice that indicated he wasn't pleased.
"How could you let him beat you?" Snape hissed, "He's a looser."
"Disappointed that your foolish plan failed?" Mulciber snapped.
"It wouldn't have if you'd actually cared to follow it" Snape hissed.
It was Snape's plan, Sirius thought, that wasn't really a surprise. The git had always hated them, especially Sirius. And it was quite Snape-ish to go for Sirius' soft spot, Remus.
Sirius drew his wand and moved from his hiding place.
Remus had lost conscience short after Sirius had handed him over to Madam Pomfrey, who'd greeted them with something that sounded suspiciously like: "Why don't you just move in?"
When Remus woke up it was Friday morning, he figured he'd slept for about six hours. His head was still throbbing lightly and he lifted an arm to feel the bandage on his head.
Remus immediately turned and looked for Sirius. He felt a small jab of disappointment when he didn't see him. Another sight, however, greeted him instead.
The Hospital Wing was buzzing with life, there were people everywhere and Madam Pomfrey was a hurricane of efficiency.
The other beds were occupied by Avery, Mulciber, Wilkes and Snape.
Remus suddenly realised what that meant. Sirius had gone on some kind of crazy revenge-mission after he'd handed Remus over. Shit. That hadn't been the idea. At all.
Then Remus began wondering where Sirius was. He couldn't possibly have taken down four Slytherins without getting a scratch, could he?
Remus gingerly got to his feet. He needed to look for Sirius. He found him almost at once. He was lying in a bed behind a curtain a bit away from the others, which confirmed Remus' suspicion that it was Sirius' fault the Slytherins were here.
Sirius was looking quite fit apart from a black eye.
Sirius saw Remus and smiled weakly at him.
"What have you done?" Remus demanded to know.
"Oh, you noticed" Sirius said, biting his lip "I hexed Avery and Mulciber and hit Snivellus, a couple of times, then I had to knock Wilkes unconscious, before he could warn the others, he came strolling down the corridor just as I'd got a proper hold of Snivellus."
Remus sat down on Sirius' bed "I did what I did to make them leave you alone" he said in a low voice "How are you expecting them to do that if you run around hexing and hitting them?"
Sirius stared blankly into the air "I've told you before, it isn't your battle." Then he suddenly turned to look at Remus and asked almost in a whisper: "What are we?"
Remus was confused. He had no idea what Sirius was talking about. Before he could open his mouth to ask, Sirius continued.
"We're not friends, we're not boyfriends, what are we?" Sirius' gaze pierced Remus "Merlin, we're not even secret lovers, because then I'd get to fuck you."
Remus stared at him and bluntly said: "Fine, let's have sex then."
Sirius looked as if he was going to burst out laughing and start to cry at the same time.
"That's not the point. I don't want to be your secret lover. I want to be your boyfriend, you twat. I can't do this anymore. I don't want secret meetings and hurried snogs when no one is looking. I want to stroll through the castle holding your hand, get a detention for tipping over a kettle in potions while snogging you, go on a date in Hogsmeade, give you stupid little presents, call off quiditch practice to snuggle with you," Sirius said, sounding more and more desperate.
In any other context this would probably have melted Remus' heart, but his mind had stopped at I can't do this anymore.
Sirius continued: "I can't do it, I just can't. I'm sorry Remus. I thought I could. Thought that if that was what I could get then I'd take it, but it's tearing me up."
Sirius looked at Remus as if expecting him to say something, but Remus didn't' know what he could say. He couldn't give Sirius any of these things. He avoided looking at Sirius.
When he finally looked at Sirius he knew that the other boy understood. Sirius tore the blanket aside and strode out of The Hospital Wing with determined steps.
Remus still sat at the bed. He buried his face in the hands.
Over a week had passed and Remus still felt utterly miserable.
He had a constant tight ball of coldness clutching his stomach, making it impossible to eat, sleep or anything else.
He missed Sirius. They were of course still friends as before, but Remus missed the special look in Sirius' eyes and the intimacy. The hugs, the caresses, the kisses…
Remus snapped back to reality "Remus" Amy said for what quite possibly could be the tenth time.
"Yes?" Remus replied. They were sitting in the commonroom in front of the fireplace. It was Friday night and the bittercold winter was starting to show its face. The main part of the Gryffindors was huddled in the commonroom, as near the fire as possible.
"Are you even listening?" Amy said, rolling her eyes.
"Ummm, of course I am" Remus said, desperately trying to recall what she'd just asked him.
She eyed him suspiciously "That's funny. For a second there it looked almost like you were staring into the air thinking of something else."
"You asked me if I were coming to the game tomorrow. Yes, I think so" Remus said. He didn't feel like going, but he didn't want to answer any questions.
He felt a tiny stab of guilt by seeing Amy as often as he did, but then he remembered that he and Sirius wasn't… didn't have a… thing anymore.
One time, when they were sitting in their usual empty classroom, Sirius had asked him to stop seeing Amy.
"Why" Remus had demanded to know "You know, I think I fancy blokes, Sirius."
"Because I don't like her touching you like that when I'm not allowed to do that in public" Sirius had said.
"I became friends with Amy just after you'd dumped her," Remus had said with a hint of coolness in his voice, "She was devastated. Have you even considered how many girls you've made sad by your reckless behaviour? You can't act like that, Sirius."
"I started doing it, because I thought I couldn't get you" Sirius had replied in a low voice that had made Remus' heart melt.
"All right, I'll cut the Amy-thing down if you want" Remus had said before drowning in Sirius' kiss.
If Remus thought about it, he hadn't seen Sirius with a girl since then.
Remus shook the thoughts off before they started hurting.
"I'm exhausted" Remus said, faking a yawn, "I think I'll be off to bed now."
Amy eyed him concerned "Goodnight, Rem"
Remus stood in the commonroom waiting for Amy to get dressed. James and Sirius had gone to the pitch already, they had to change to quidditch robes. Peter had, as always, tagged along, the same had Lily after James had looked at her with huge puppy eyes and asked her to.
Amy came down the stairs and immediately ran to hug Remus, something she seemed to have gotten quite fond of lately. Remus patted her awkwardly on the back before pulling back.
Amy put a hand on his arm "Are you allright, Rem?" she asked softly, "You've seemed incredibly off lately."
"Umm, actually. Would you mind coming with me?" Remus said hesitant, already regretting his decision.
Amy opened her pale blue eyes in surprise, but followed him out of the portrayhole.
Remus positioned himself in a windowsill.
"What if I told you that I'm gay?" Remus asked, almost in a whisper as Amy sat down beside him.
"It's Sirius, isn't it?" Amy immediately asked, but not in a bitter voice as Remus had expected she would if he ever told her. Instead she had an almost smug expression on her face.
Remus felt his face go scarlet.
"I knew it" she exclaimed "Merlin, Rem. That's so cute."
"Cute?" Remus shrieked, "I'm telling you that I'm a bloody shirtlifter who fancies your ex and you think it's cute?"
She shrugged "Sirius is a prat, but I think you would be good for him. He's always doing everything he can to help you and make you happy. And you seem more relaxed when you're with him. You'd fit together perfectly. Lily thinks so too." The last part was said in a tone that indicated, that if Lily agreed, it had to be true.
"You've debated that?" Remus exclaimed shocked.
"Well of course. Haven't you noticed the looks he's always shooting at you?" She said with her eyebrows raised, "Especially when I hug you," she added in a smug tone.
Remus' face must have shown his confusion, because she continued.
"Yeah, I have kind of a confession to make…" she said, twitching her hands "I might have… you know… seemed a bit more affected by my and Sirius' breakup than I really was"
Remus had no idea what she was talking about.
"Lily and I thought that you and Sirius would make an adorable couple so it's possible that we… set you up… a bit" she was now avoiding Remus' gaze completely "He's always so protective of you so we thought that if we made him a bit jealous he would finally do something about the crush he's had on you for ages."
Remus knew that he should be furious, but in reality he wasn't. He was... oddly happy. It wouldn't hurt Amy to see Sirius with Remus and if Amy could accept it, then why wouldn't everyone else?
Remus suddenly knew what he wanted. He didn't care anymore.
He quickly hugged Amy "Thank you" he smiled at her, when she shot him a puzzled look.
Remus ran down the stairs as fast as he could, wanting to talk to Sirius before the game began.
Remus was completely out of breath by the time he reached the pitch. He allowed himself to take one deep breath before running out on the grass.
Both the teams, Slytherin and Gryffindor were standing on the pitch with their brooms in hand.
"Sirius!" Remus shouted.
Sirius' head shot up and a puzzled expression crossed his handsome face before Remus reached him.
Remus flung his arms around Sirius' neck and crashed their lips together. Sirius quickly drew his head back, but didn't remove Remus' arms.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, "Everyone is watching."
"I don't care. Not anymore" Remus said, then he suddenly got nervous "If it's too late I understand, but could you please give me one more chance? I've really missed…"
Remus' babbling was cut off by Sirius sliding the arm that wasn't holding his broom, around Remus' waist.
Remus' lifted his face and looked into Sirius' stormy eyes and his soft, surprised smile.
"You could have showed up on my doorstep in twenty years and it still wouldn't be too late" Sirius said hoarsely "Now shut up and kiss me."
Remus happily obeyed.
"Will you get the fuck off the field?" someone on the tribunes shouted,
Remus grinned sheepishly and let go of his boyfriend.
That's it o.o my very first chapter-fic is complete o.o Hope you enjoyed reading it just half as much as I enjoyed writing it ^^
Thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me ^^
I might do a re-uploade one day if I'm not too lazy ^^ (or preoccupied with another fanfic :3)