Crackfic for kelkat9 because she planted this particular plot bunny in my head. I own nothing.
Rose grumbled under her breath as she lugged the bulky object along. "Nothing ever goes wrong here, he said. It's a perfectly wonderful way to spend the day, Rose, he said. A world just like those old cartoons, Rose, he said. It's fantastic, he said. Think of all the fun we're gonna have here, he said."
And it was immense fun, at least until those big ears of his had gotten cold from the cartoon snowball she'd thrown at him. From the depths of his vast pockets he'd pulled out one of those winter hats with the extra long ear flaps. He should have know that it would make him look like some sort of comical rabbit. The daft Time Lord also should have known that this place was also the home of none other than the abominable snowman that the Looney Tunes character had been based. Because he was the one that brought the studio cartoonist here in the first place.
Of course there was only one way this day could have ended, with the 'rabbit Doctor' in the clutches of the mostly harmless, illustrated monster. Now, of course it was Rose's responsibility to rescue his skinny, leather, but very, very lovely arse. And she had to give up her favorite stuffed animal to do it. The Doctor had won it for her on Adalon Three at the massive carnival there. It was a light pink, one meter tall approximation of that planets bunny rabbit. Rose loved it but was willing to sacrifice it if it meant she got the Doctor back unharmed.
Meanwhile in the lair of his newest capture, the Doctor had to engage his respiratory bypass several times by the abominable snowman as it squeezed him over and over again. He hoped that Rose came up with a rescue plan soon before he was forced to explain regeneration to her due to the fact he was forced into becoming a new man by a cartoon.
The hairy creature snuggled the Doctor close to him once more. "A little bunny rabbit of my very own, and I will love him, and pet him." A large white hand ruffly ran across the Doctor's short hair.
"And squeeze him." Once again he couldn't breath as strong arms tried to collapse his chest.
"And call him George." The last of the Time Lords being called George? That was a bit rubbish.
The twelfth round of this particular brand of torture was about to begin again, when a noise caught the Doctor's attention. "Oi," Rose called from a few meters away. "Mr. Abom...adominal...amomminal." Her mouth was unable to form the word and the Doctor smiled at her adorable attempts. "Oi, snowman, that bloke you've got there, he's mine and he aint no bunny rabbit."
The abominable snowman looked between the Doctor and Rose. "But I love my little bunny rabbit George. And I promise to hug him and squeeze him and pet him and love him."
Rose smiled. "Well mate, he is very cuddly but he's also my lift home. So how about a trade?" She pulled the stuffed animal out from behind her back. "This can be your new George and you don't have to worry bout suffocatin' him."
The large furry hand immediately dropped the Doctor to the ground with an unceremonious thud. "Oh new George." He plucked the toy from Rose's hands and snuggled into it. "I love you and I will love you and pet you and squeeze you." While the mostly harmless creature was lavishing attention on it's new love, the Doctor slipped over to Rose's side.
Sliding his hand into her's, he smiled and whispered, "Run." And they did, all the way across the frozen cartoon tundra and back to the TARDIS. They were laughing manically as the Doctor pulled off his hat and launched them into the Vortex. "Thanks for the rescue," the Doctor said before collapsing into the jump seat.
"Yeah, it's a shame I had to trade my cuddle partner for you though. Might need to get a replacement." Rose smirked and deliberately raked her eyes up and down the Doctor's body. His ears turned bright pink."And I've recently heard that you are fun to hug and squeeze and pet."
He lifted an arm as an invitation and she settled down next to him. "I wouldn't mind a good cuddle with you, Rose. Just no callin' me George."
His fingers ran lightly through her hair and she sighed. "I make no promises... George."
"That's it." His fingers curled into her side tickling her into a fit of giggles. Rose retaliated and soon both of them collapsed in a fit of giggles. All in all it was a very good day.