Okay much debating if I should or shouldn't do this story. Steffi however loved the idea, so I wrote it down, originally it was intended as a oneshot but thanks to Steffi I have now already started doing research in case I and others want me to continue this. I have never been more worried over doing a story than this one, but it kept hunting me after re-watching parts of Judging Amy. And reading Milly's comments, so if you like it thank her, if you don't well when I am sorry.

Also if you want me to continue please let me know I can be convinced, one thing if continued it won't be all happy fluff if that is what you want... because doing research on this subject showed me very few would find this all happiness and sunshine.

#the story probably will be continued as I have already started chapter 2.

I don't own the Good Wife.


Baby Steps


Come What May

The moment he had gotten the call he had felt like he was about to faint in cold dark fear for her. Alicia fainting in court, in the middle of a trial and having to be taken to the hospital. He had felt as someone had pieced his heart with a silver blade of cold metal intending on hurting him where he felt it the most. The next moment he had grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the office on his way to the hospital calling out to Eli that he needed to go and Alicia was in the hospital and he better keep all reporters off because he wanted nothing to disturb Alicia. He raced to the hospital as fast as he could, really not caring if he got pulled over or got a ticket, he could deal with that later, what he cared about was the fact that his wife was ill - so ill that she had fainted. He should have said something when he woke up to the sound of her throwing up this morning after yet another of their sleepovers, but she had said she was fine and it was the sushi she and the kids had gone out for last night. It had been a place with those out on a desk and you could point at the pieces you wanted. She was sure she had just gotten a bad piece. That had been her argument and he had accepted it, after all that was their deal, they were having sex, sometimes dinners and talking but not more. He was to leave because the kids couldn't see him when they got up. So he had nodded and told her to take it easy, but left. Now he regretted that, he should have taken her to see a doctor right away, even if he had needed to drag her there against her will - he should have done so. Because something was clearly wrong when she would faint suddenly and need to go to the hospital. He parked the car and rushed in, only realizing at that point that he had no idea where she was. He went to the front-desk and asked them to look up Alicia Elizabeth Florrick, well technically he barked more than asked but it worked and he didn't have time to wait on the usual slowness these things could be taking. As soon as he had room and floor number he rushed off, cursing himself for not figuring out that of course she would be in the E.R. and that he had lost time on that. He found it and found where he had been told she would be, and rightly he found her, there - in the middle of pulling out her IV-drop while she was furiously telling a nurse she didn't need it she just wanted to go home. And she could drink her own water she didn't need the drop.

"Alicia maybe you should keep it in, just to be on the safe side." He heard a male voice say, and looked right over to be met with the sight of Will Gardner. What the hell was he doing here? And why the fuck was he allowed in here with Alicia? Oh well at least he was telling Alicia the exact same thing Peter himself would tell her now.

"You need to keep that drop in, Alicia." He said out loud, making the other three people on this side of the curtain look at him.

"Peter..." Alicia let out a relieved sigh. "Can you please tell the nurse I don't need this and take me home?" She smiled at him sweetly, batting her eyes at him. Damn she looked like Grace when she did this, or at least he knew where their daughter got it from. Peter almost snorted at her clever game, she was used to it these days that he would agree and accept whatever she wanted and asked for and clearly she hoped it was the case now as well.

"I will do no such thing, Alicia. In fact there is a better chance of me tying you down to the bed to make you keep the IV in and not pull it out." He told her, before turning to the nurse who looked more than a little confused. "What is wrong with my wife?" He asked making the nurse look even more confused and uncomfortable.

"Your wife? But I thought you were the husband... since Dr. Walsh told me to it was okay you stayed..." She said as she looked at Will. Who clearly looked rather uncomfortable too.

"Alicia asked me to stay in case they couldn't get a hold on you and she needed someone to drive her home. I had no idea they thought that." He mumbled, when he saw how Peter sneered at him. Okay that he got, and he was actually glad Alicia had not been left alone, still he hated Will Gardner and if that the other man had used his name to be allowed to stay in Alicia's room that would NOT have been okay at all.

"Peter it's nothing serious. I just fainted because I've been dehydrated nothing more. I just want to go home. I had them call you but feared you were in a meeting so Will stayed in case I needed a ride. But now you are here, will you please just take me home?" Alicia explained, pulling all eyes back on her, and smiling at Peter as she begged with him.

"Okay Mrs. Florrick no signs of food poisoning as you thought it might be." A female voice said behind Peter. He looked back and saw a tall redhead joining them. She looked surprised to see yet another person in the room.

"I am sorry sir. But only family members are allowed in here." She told him.

"It's my husband Peter Florrick." Alicia explained before Peter could raise his voice.

"Florrick... oh... OH... I am sorry Mr. State's Attorney, of course, my mistake." She said looking at Peter.

"It's fine I would much rather have that you told me what is wrong with my wife." Peter said with a pointed look.

"Well, Nina let me take over then." She told the nurse who hurried out.
"Okay, Mrs. Florrick" she said. "You thought it might just be food poisoning earlier when you came in. But the tests just came back and it is clearly not. Have you been feeling unwell other than the throwing up this morning as you told us about?" the doctor looked at Alicia.

"Umm I have been nauseous the last few days a few times, and throw up yesterday morning too, but I am sure I was just coming down with the flu and that is also what made me pass out." Alicia told her.

The doctor nodded.

"That is very possible. How are you feeling now, any headache or anything else? There is a flu going around so it certainly could be that." She looked at Alicia.

"Have you checked her head? She passed out! What if she hit her head?" Peter asked annoyed.

"Peter..." Alicia gave him a pointed look of annoyance.

"I did Mr. Florrick. Nothing to worry about, she has a slight concussion but nothing serious. I am more focused on why she passed out. But if that is really all, my guess is that you are coming down with the flu and were just dehydrated." She said smiling at Alicia as she opened Alicia's charts, going over them.

"A concussion? And you say that is okay." Peter was getting angry again. "You better make sure it really is just the flu." He mumbled.

"A lot of people at work have been ill from the flu lately, it would be easy for Alicia to have caught it." Will stepped in and added, smiling at Alicia. But he got an angry look from Peter, telling him to stay out of this.

"It most likely is. Though Mrs. Florrick there are a few things it seems the nurse forgot to ask you. Umm would you rather do this in private?" The doctor looked from Alicia to the two men.

"I will rather just get it over with, so I can go home. And Peter will never believe it really is just the flu if he doesn't know you did every possible test so what is it?" Alicia asked slightly annoyed.

"Very well... are you sexually active?" The doctor asked, making all three others cough in surprise.

"Excuses me?" Alicia finally asked. Will looked rather uncomfortable, and Peter gave him an annoyed look. If the guy could not take hearing this about Alicia, he should just leave, after all she was not alone anymore, so why hadn't he left already?

"Are you sexually active Mrs. Florrick?" The doctor asked again, making Alicia look down and then nod.

"Yes I am." She said finally, not surprising Peter - after all he had been with her just last night. But the look on Will's face clearly spoke of surprise and hurt. Well Gardner, maybe you should rather leave now, Peter thought to himself, but at the same time he understood the other man, if this had been a little over a year ago he would have been in Will's position and he would have hated it just as much, and he was most likely only still here because he wanted to make sure Alicia was alright and not seriously ill.

"Okay, do you always use protection?" Peter stared at the doctor, what the hell were these kind of questions, what the hell was she getting at? He looked at Alicia who looked pretty uncomfortable too.

"I am on the pill yes." She said, looking at Peter quickly. He knew she was on the pill, she had gone on it a few weeks after Thanksgiving, because searching for a condom every time especially in his office or the trailer was not that comfortable, and they were not about to be as risky as they had been on Thanksgiving - that had been the only time they had not been using any protection at all. So she went on the pill and told him shortly after. It had really made this whole thing a lot easier, plus the few weeks of suddenly using condoms had felt very weird having been married so long.

"Umm Alicia I think I will be leaving. I think it's safe to say you got the rest of the week off for the concussion, get better soon and take care." Will told her.

Alicia nodded softly.

"Thank you Will, and thank you for waiting. It was sweet of you." She gave him a gentle and apologizing smile. Will nodded and hurried out of the place.

"Okay, so do you take it the same time every night and have you ever forgotten one?" The doctor asked gently.

Okay now she was starting to worry Peter, did she actually think Alicia was pregnant, was that what she was getting at?

"No I take it like I should...if I didn't I would use condoms." Alicia looked down and away. Peter hated seeing her like this, put on the spot and sad and without thinking he walked over to her and took her hand in his, caressing it lightly, making her look up at him, her eyes filled with worry.

"Okay good... have you been ill sometimes after having taken it? Like throwing up?" Dr. Walsh asked Alicia.

"No, never." Alicia asked shaking her head.

"Okay, have you taken any meds for colds or flu? Or anything like that?" She asked as she wrote something more down.

"Umm, I had a cold about 6 weeks ago where I took some meds." She said, trying to remember what she had used.

"Can you remember what, it is okay if you can't it just would be helpful." The woman smiled at them both.

"I think it was some nature meds I had gotten Grace I use the rest of. St. something?" Alicia mumbled.

"St. Johns Wort?" The woman asked.

"Yes, that." Alicia said looking confused, as the doctor nodded. "Is something wrong with using that? Is that what is making me ill now? Having used that?" Alicia asked worried and scared.

"No not at all, the problem is it lowers the efficiency of birth control pills."

"I didn't know, I had no idea it would work like that." She explained, both to him and the doctor, but it was him her eyes were apologizing to. He just squeezed her hand softly.

"Not your fault." He whispered to her. She nodded and looked at the doctor again.

"Okay, when was your last period?" The doctor asked gently, looking at both of them.

"My last period... I can't remember I have been very stressed I think... I had it just before I went to Minnesota that is... January... 7 weeks." She finally concluded her eyes growing large and worried.

Peter tried to count back too, he didn't see her much more but he did know he cycles, and they had been sleeping together back then already and he did remember her telling him not to come over a few times around that time, finally admitting she couldn't because of her period. Peter had ended up bringing her dinner and she had helped him with a speech for his next campaign trip. Peter had loved that moment between them because it was one of those moments in this whole thing where he felt they were once more really close to each other without the sex. Now however he was cursing himself for not thinking about it again, and how there had been no such thing again since back then.

"Okay... I'll call Nina in here again. I think we will need to draw some blood, Mrs. Florrick." Dr. Walsh told her gently.

"You think I am pregnant? I can't be... I can't be pregnant... I mean I am 44 years old, I have two children that are teenagers. I can't be pregnant... I can't be." Alicia whispered again and again, with each word she spoke Peter could hear her voice growing closer to hysteria and tears. And he had to admit to himself in case it was true it was anything but convenient, though a small part deep inside of him smiled at the thought of seeing Alicia pregnant once more. Holding a baby in his arms again, Alicia's child. A little girl looking just like her mother. With green eyes, and dark brown hair that curled around her head. Okay, he loved the thought of that more than a little, plus no matter how much of a turn on working Alicia was to him. Alicia with their kids was what made his heart swell and beat faster. However, he could see she was getting worked up over this and he knew that was no good for her and their possible child. So he squeezed her hand, rubbing the back of it, trying to calm her down.

"Yes. Mrs. Florrick, I think it's possible. However I won't know until I have run your blood. And it could be many other things too... but I would like to rule it out." She smiled at Alicia and Peter and went to find the nurse again. Alicia looked worriedly up at him.

"I can't be... Peter I can't... it's... it's too much..." She whispered, scared. He nodded.

"I know Alicia... I know... but now calm down. We don't know anything for sure yet, as she said it could be many other things." He told her just as nurse Nina returned, smiling at them both.

"So let's get this over with, I should run a few other things for you while I am at it, like your blood percent, your ion numbers and similar things, just to be sure. Those could just as well be what is making you feel ill Mrs. Florrick." the nurse told her with a smile as she started to get her things together. Alicia held out her arm and turned her face way.

"Hey... it will be alright. And yes Babe I know you hate having your blood work done. Just don't think about it, or look over at it." He told Alicia tenderly as he caressed her cheek. "Umm... Nina? Are there any chance you would be able to do the tests on my wife under some other name?" He asked, knowing if Alicia really was pregnant and this got out it would be hell, and he didn't want the press to force her hand in whatever choice she might make regarding this.

Nina looked up at him and smiled.

"You don't have to worry, Mr. Florrick. When Dr. Walsh realized who you are she told me the same thing regarding these tests. She got a call earlier from someone while out, asking her to make you a . -patient or rather ordered you be upgraded according to her, by a Mr. Gold or something."

This made Alicia and Peter shake their heads, though they were pleased that he had thought of this to protect their privacy.

"Now Mrs. Florrick or should I say, Mrs. Doe, if you feel bad because of blood work you should rather concentrate on your very charming husband." Her words made Alicia glare to the side at her, her eyes suddenly cold.

"Oh don't worry dear I don't swing that way, but if I did your husband is a fine looking man, but you got nothing to worry about. But I am going to take your blood now." She smiled at Alicia. Alicia looked confused until she realized what the other woman meant, as she turned to Peter, who had a hard time to keep himself from laughing. He was a little pleased that even with everything between them, Alicia sure didn't like when other women showed any interest in him. "You got nothing to worry about my eyes are on you only." He told her gently, squeezing her hand at the same time as he saw her eyes change because Nina had punctured her vein, drawing her blood.

She gave him a half smile.

"Really, Dr. Walsh was rather attractive, high with her red hair and a nice smile." Alicia commented.

"She's got nothing on you babe. Nothing." He told her stroking her cheek softly, he knew he had said the right thing when he saw Alicia smile gently at his words. Once more he hated himself for what he had done to her in the past, how he had made her doubt his love and attraction to her so much. How she now had such a hard time trusting he really only wanted her, and would always only want her in the future. She looked down after blushing a little.

"So, all done. I will leave you two alone. We'll get a room upstairs for you, Mrs. Florrick for the night, after all you do have a concussion and we have yet to find out what is wrong with you." She smiled at them.

An half hour later they were in a private room upstairs, much to Alicia's displeasure. She kept telling Peter, she just wanted to go home and they could call her with the damn test results. She had begged him to take her home, explaining there was no reason for her to stay, that it would do no good that she stayed overnight. Even bringing up the kids, and how she needed to go home to them.

She had not been pleased when he said he had already called Owen, wincing at the thought of the phone conversation with his brother in law, and asked him to stay with the kids at Alicia's place because she was in the hospital for some tests. She then went on explaining how the kids would have questions and they shouldn't be alone with them, until Peter told her he had already talked with both Zach and Grace too while she changed into the hospital robes in the bathroom, just before he had talked with Owen. Alicia was annoyed but got into the bed and laid down as she was told. Now she was calmed down a little again.

"Peter, what happens if I am pregnant?" She whispered softly. Peter walked over to the bed and sat at the edge.

"Then we'll figure out what you want to do. I am beside you, whatever choice you might make. Do I wish you'll go through with it, yes. But Alicia, I would be by your side even if you should choose not to." He told her softly, looking into her eyes tenderly.

"Peter... what are you saying?" She looked shocked. "I would never have an abortion. That wasn't what I meant. I mean with everything, how can we even make this work. I can't just be your wife and a mother again, ever. I love being a mother but I could never just be a mother again." She whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. Tears Peter quickly reached down and brushed away.

"I would never ask that of you Alicia, never again. I want you to work. And we'll find a way to make that happen even if you are pregnant. Alicia, I'll drop out of the race if you are pregnant so you won't have to worry about being alone with it all. I would drop out anytime for you, pregnant or not, together or not. If that is something between us that is a problem, it is not worth it." He told her lovingly.

"Peter. You can't drop out! I would never forgive myself for being the reason you did that. You would be an amazing governor, and I won't have you drop out, not for me not for anything. But I am so scared for what all of this will mean. For what will happen to me. Pregnancy in my age is not simple, and what if something is wrong with the child? What about all of the risks that are so much higher now than earlier. And Peter, I have not been taking care of myself lately. I have been drinking and working late and not eating well. What if I have already harmed the child? Peter, I am so scared." She was in tears now. Peter was careful with her IV as he placed his arms around her, pulling her in close, rocking her slowly.

"It okay Babe. We'll figure it all out if you really are pregnant. It will all be alright." He whispered softly into her hair.

"What will the kids say? And everyone else?" She whispered softly, her voice broken and scared.

"They'll be okay. Everything will be okay. We'll handle it Alicia, I promise you that. We'll handle it all. "He whispered.

"Will you stay with me?" She whispered after a few minutes where none of them had said anything. "For the night, if I have to stay here. You know I hate hospitals." She mumbled.

"Of course, there is nowhere I'd rather be than with you." He told her with a kiss on her hair. "You are not leaving me?" She breathed out.

"I am not leaving you Alicia." He told her. "It will all be alright." he whispered calmly.

"Thank you. Peter I am not sure if I am ready for more with you which is why this possible pregnancy is also scaring me to death, but thank you for being here and for taking everything so calmly." She told him softly.

"Of course Alicia, of course. Alicia I love you, and I know this is overwhelming but we'll work this out. Even if it means being close friends and co-parents that raise yet another child together but not really together. I am not letting you down Hun, never again will I let you down." he whispered softly.

"Thank you Peter, but I think we should try, I am so scared but I think I might be ready to try even if I am not pregnant. I am just so scared if I let you back in you will hurt me again as bad as last time I was about to go there. And I am not sure I can take it again. I mean I want to trust you, but I fear that the next time I close my eyes you will be in bed with yet another woman. And I am so scared of that. I fear you only want me now because you can't really have me and it is the chase that drives you on. I see that you have changed every day, and it makes it harder not to give in but I am still scared." She admitted softly and worried.

"Oh Alicia. I can't tell you enough how much I regret my past actions. And if you let me I'll make them up to you forever. You are all I want all I need, nothing else matters beside you and the kids. Nothing. And I was a fool, a bastard, not to see that before. But Hun, I know and see that now. You are my world, my everything. I love you so much darling." He placed a kiss on her hair, his voice having grown thick with emotions once again.

"I love you too..." She whispered softly, her voice trembling.

"I know Alicia, I know. And we'll figure all of this out... We'll make everything work, I promise you that. We'll make it work, whatever happens now we'll make it work." He told her tenderly.

"I know I know... come what may, right?" She asked with a hint of a smile in her voice.

"Yes Babe, come what may, I will love you until my dying day. Come what may." He answered teasingly. making her finally let out a little laugh just as there was a knock on the door before it was opened by Dr. Walsh. She smiled gently at them, as she raised an eyebrow at Peter for being on the bed as well.

"It is only supposed to be the patient in the bed." She told with a pointed look as Peter carefully moved away from Alicia and off the bed, standing beside it.

"Okay, I got your test results back." She looked at them.

"So, am I pregnant?" Alicia asked worriedly, while Peter squeezed her hand. Though they had talked he knew she still would prefer by far not having to think about the consequences her being pregnant would have on them and their life. But as she had said only minutes before come what may!

Dr. Walsh smiled gently at them before answering Alicia's question.


There you go first chapter... please let me know your thoughts.