X-ray, a Glee one-shot
I do not own Glee. This title was suggested by the always fabulous laura4992 and mardie186. Please remember to review!
He is not a klutz. He'd like to believe that he is just as prone to breaking things as the rest of the world.
If only everything could be fixed with duct tape or a lifetime warranty.
(the egg breaks here)
Knocking the egg on edge of the counter, he spills it into the frying pan. It's five in the morning. The baby next door wails, not caring that he has another two hours before he has to get up for work.
The second egg rolls off the counter and breaks. Yolk covers his bare feet. It feels sticky.
"Good morning beaut-"
"-iful," Blaine finishes. His foot lands in the yolky mess.
Kurt scrunches his nose. "I tried to warn you."
They look down at the mess. The paper towels are within reach.
The salt on the other hand, is over on the kitchen table.
Blaine strains to reach the shaker. His yolk covered foot rises in the air. More yolk drips down along Kurt's leg. "I think I'm going to need a shower after this one."
When he cleans the mess, he purposely coats the side of his arm in egg.
"I think I'll have to join you."
(the ice cream cone breaks here)
To beat the heat wave, the boys decide to go out for ice cream.
There's a group of tourists in front of them. They can tell by the camera cases hanging from their necks, the tan lines where a tee shirt would end.
Considering they're all wearing tank tops, Kurt finds this amusing. Save for the father. That tank top covers more rolls than the masking tape selection at an office store.
"Vanilla cone please," he tells the worker. Blaine orders strawberry.
Outside, they go to the park. There's a shady tree that they can sit under.
When they arrive, they find that the tank top clan already has beat them to it. They take the other side.
A bird swoops by, and Kurt squeezes his cone a bit too hard. It cracks. The contents release onto his hand.
"I forgot to get the napkins."
"I'll take care of this." Blaine gives him his cone to hold in his free hand. Taking the wet one in his hand, he runs his tongue along the curve of his thumb.
Kurt swallows the noise that begs to escape his lips. There are kids on the other side of this tree. Keep it together.
"What are you doing?" he hisses. Not that he isn't enjoying the way his tongue is now dipping between his fingers, but he's make it very hard to stay calm.
"Cleaning up your mess," he answers, pulling back to lick his lips. "Would you quit squirming?"
The bird makes its second round, and Kurt remembers not to squeeze the cone again. He does not need him licking both of his hands.
Even if he wants him to.
(the foot breaks here)
Bowling night was not nearly as fun as Rachel promised it would be.
Especially when it got cut short after Finn dropped the bowling ball on his brother's foot. He had muttered words as colorful as the psychedelic balls rolling down the lanes. And of course, it had to be Fun Night for the local church youth group.
With an apologetic look, he leaned against Blaine's shoulder. Finn had offered to carry him, as if he already hadn't made a big enough scene.
"You should get it checked out. Just to be safe," Rachel suggested.
Now they're in Finn's car, headed for the hospital. Traffic is slow. It would have been much quicker on foot Kurt realizes, but they couldn't leave his car parked there all night. You never know what could happen in New York.
Blaine is in the backseat with him. He unties the shoe on his swelling foot. "How bad is it?"
"I'm no doctor..." That's never a good way to start a sentence.
At a lull, Finn glances back. "Dude, I am so sorry."
Kurt tries to smile. He knows that the hospital will take care of everything. They helped his dad and Karofsky. They were there for his mom, even though it didn't end well. It's only his foot. At worst, he broke it.
That doesn't stop him from trembling when the nurse leads him to the x-ray machine.
"It's going to be okay." Blaine calls behind him.
While he's gone, they check the gift shop. It's closed. He manages to sweet talk the nurse into letting him have a rubber glove. He blows it up and ties it shut. Finn goes out to the car and gets some dental floss. He secures it around the bottom.
"What is that?" Kurt asks when he returns.
"Well, the gift shop was closed, so we made you a balloon." It dangles from the string. It can't float, but it's the thought that counts.
"You are utterly adorable." He kisses the top of his head.
Being in the hospital isn't all too bad.
(the bed breaks here)
You know you've been playing it rough when the bed begins to creak.
Blaine flops over on his back. "That noise."
"I really thought the music would drown it out." He reaches over to the bedside table and turns the knob.
"Not even the noise you were making could drown it out." His eyes twinkle. He props himself up on one elbow, pulling the covers up.
Kurt kicks him.
"That's true." He runs his hand along Kurt's side. "I'm surprised the baby next door didn't wake up."
He scoots closer. "That baby has kept me up plenty of nights."
The bed creaks beneath them.
And since Blaine can't argue the point, he just lets it creak again.
Kurt turns the music back up.
(the heart breaks here)
Wandering eyes are all fine and dandy when they come from his boyfriend. From a complete stranger at the coffee shop?
Not so much.
"I'll have an espresso, and whatever this lovely gentleman behind me wants."
"I'll be paying for my own coffee, thank you." Kurt adjusts the strap of his bag.
The stranger shakes his head. "Nonsense. A guy as handsome as you shouldn't have to pay for his own coffee."
He tosses his scarf over his shoulder. His hair gets trapped, and he fluffs it free. Like legitimately fluffs it as if he's flaunting the fact that his hair can grow past his ears. Congratulations buddy. You need a haircut.
"Hey Pookie," Kurt says as Blaine returns to his spot in line. He makes a point of grabbing his hand.
The stranger inhales sharply. "You have a boyfriend."
"Hi, I'm Blaine." The stranger scoffs, turning back to the cashier, who is impatiently inspecting her nails.
"That'll be all." He pays for his drink.
Blaine steps up to the counter and orders for them. Pulling out his wallet, he asks, "What was that all about?"
And contrary to his word, he doesn't pay for his coffee.
(the umbrella breaks here)
You have got to be kidding. The greatest downpour to hit New York all spring, and his umbrella breaks.
"Not a word." He tosses the dejected umbrella in the corner.
"About?" Blaine looks up from his newspaper.
Kurt combs his fingers through his hair. "I look like a drowned rat."
He folds the pages together. Standing, he walks over to his dripping boyfriend.
"Cutest drowned rat I've ever seen." He kisses him. "Let's get you into something warmer."
He unbuttons his yellow rain coat, slipping it off his shoulders. His boots follow.
In the end, he doesn't get him a new set of clothes. He finds curling up beneath the covers is a pretty good way to share body heat.
(the character breaks here)
It's his first big show in New York.
Okay, so it's a small production in truth, but he's the main role, so he considers it to be a success. Even if it is only a production for some college student.
"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." Blaine goes to wrap his arms around Kurt.
He stops him. "There are small pins all over my body right now. Be careful."
His arms drop.
"Have you started rehearsal yet?"
"Yeah, but then the director decided we can't continue until my costume fits. Apparently it's distracting." He turns in a circle to demonstrate. There are pins sticking every which way in his pants.
Blaine leans in, whispering in his ear. "Obviously they've never seen you in skin tight pants. That is far more distracting."
"I've told you, stay in character! You need to practice if you want to really capture the essence of the character." The student director places her hands on his shoulders. He resists the urge to roll his eyes.
"I apologize. That was my fault." Blaine puts a hand on her upper arm. It works, making her hands lower to their normal position at her side.
She giggles like a little girl. Then she realizes she is supposed to be a professional. She clears her throat. "Don't let it happen again."
With that, she takes off, scribbling something on her clipboard.
"Does this mean we're role playing tonight? Because I don't have a costume."
"I'll check wardrobe."
(the rules break here)
"I know you're peeking."
"I heard a thud. It's a natural thing to wonder what is going on." Still, he closes the gaps between his fingers.
Blaine rips the tape off the box. It makes a loud noise, but Kurt makes sure to keep his eyes closed this time. He does not want to get a second warning.
Here in their apartment, punishment is taken very seriously. It's like baseball. Three strikes and you're out.
Out meaning that you have to give the other person a massage. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, if there was mood music and lotion involved. But it's just the two of them on the floor in broad daylight. With a baby crying because it hasn't been fed lunch.
It's as romantic as making out in a bathroom stall. He would know. It had been one time, and they were at a club, and drunken Blaine was grinding into him like he was trying to make fresh pepper. Admittedly, he had been drunk too, and was the one who had suggested such a venture.
The sound of retching in the next stall over had not deterred him.
The next morning they were left with hangovers, and the memories of making out to the sound of insides coming out.
"Now you can open your eyes."
"Are you sure?"
Blaine removes his hands for him. "I'm sure."
"Oh, I rather like what I see."
He lets go of his wrists. Stepping aside, he shows him what is inside the box.
"Contrary to your belief, I am not the surprise." He gives him a quick kiss anyway. "Your surprise is in the box."
He gets off the bed. He lifts the flaps, looking inside.
"It's gorgeous." He hoists it out of the box. It's a framed mini cell from the Wizard of Oz.
"I thought you might like it."
"I do, but what's the occasion?"
"I thought that we could finally fill that blank spot over the couch. And because I love you."
(the button breaks here)
They're babysitting the neighbor's kids. The baby is asleep in Blaine's arms. His older sister is tugging at the hem of Kurt's shirt.
Not in the romantic, 'I want this off your body' kind of way. More like, 'hey, I'm going to nag you until I get your attention'.
She tugs too hard, and one of the buttons pop.
"Oops." Her hand darts away.
"Please say it did not land in the pot." Kurt is making mashed potatoes. He does not want to eat mashed buttons.
She bends down, where the button is rolling on the ground. It gets trapped under her foot. "I got it!"
Blaine comes over, rocking the baby.
"What's going on?" His eyes get stuck on his chest, which is now partially exposed.
It's as if it is staring back at him, saying 'Hello Blaine, I'm here to distract you while you try not to drop the baby.'
"Nothing that can't be fixed with a needle and some thread." He drains the water in the sink.
Blaine makes sure the button ends up in the garbage before night's end.
Not all of Kurt's shirts have to button up to the collar.
(the promise does not break here)
There are some things that Kurt doesn't break.
He rarely breaks a nail. He likes to keep them filed and trim.
He hasn't broken his phone. He takes care of it, wiping the fingerprints from the screen. It's his link to Blaine when he's not around.
The plates in their cupboard have no chips, and every appliance in the house is still in working condition.
Those aren't the things he's most proud of. There's one thing he is proud that he's never broken. Something where if he does break it, he doubts it'll be the only thing that ends up broken.
"I'll never say goodbye to you." That six word promise will never be broken.
And if it is?
His heart will be soon to follow.