South Park Faces Pain for the Secret is Revealed
After Stan and Craig spent time crying at the grave Craig said "hey do you want to come to my house and play Call of Duty?"
Stan said "fuck yeah Craig that game is awesome."
Craig said "you know my dad and I were discussing the game last night. He's a little concerned because he says when he was growing up you played shoot'em up games where you were a cop. Oh but here's the kicker, you got penalized if you shot a person who wasn't a criminal."
Stan says "well they sure have changed games. Now days it's fuck the world and go fucking crazy when you shoot people."
Craig said "oh Stan you sounded like Phil Anselmo of Pantera when you said 'fuck the world' I'll bet if you keep playing football you'll grow up to be as big and fucking tough as he is."
Stan says "well that'd be cool oh but Phil isn't in Pantera anymore."
Craig said "yeah you're right and then some idiot decided it was okay to shoot people who were not only innocent but people who made up Pantera. Dimebag is a fallen rock legend."
Stan said "well shall we shoot the fictional innocent people in modern day video games as you said you have Call of Duty."
Craig said "yeah let's run to my house fast as lightning."
Stan and Craig took off running with smiles on their faces. They were enjoying something special called childhood.
When they arrived Craig quickly rushed Stan to his room. They began playing the game and had a blast. 15 minutes later Craig's sister comes into his room and asks "can I play?"
Craig says "this game is too violent for you."
Craig's sister whines and he says "well you'll have to trust me that it's too violent for you. It's great that I've been able to slowly regain your trust after my burglary conviction."
Craig's sister looks up and says "Craig did you forget that you have a friend over? I thought you wanted to keep it silent."
Craig said "well sis I opened up to a friend and he has promised to keep it a secret. I told him every detail."
Stan jumped in and said "I will keep it a secret and also I think it's interesting that you two get along so well. I don't get along with my sister."
Craig's sister looks up and asks why not and Stan explains that she's rough.
After 30 minutes Craig and Stan go downstairs to get sodas. They both get distracted on their way back to Craig's room because Craig's mom is on the internet screaming.
Craig asks "mom what's wrong now?"
Craig's mom explained that she couldn't find three passwords she needed. Craig just laughed and asked how she could forget passwords when she has them typed up and went on to say that she forgets when she signs up for sites and gets billed. After Craig laughed for five minutes straight his mom said "hey Craig that's funny but you know what else is funny?"
Craig answered "what?"
Craig's mom replied "a mom putting ice cream in her son's face."
Craig's mom happened to have a bowl of ice cream on a shelf that she was eating but kept it away from the computer. She grabbed the bowl and stuck her hand in it then smeared it all over Craig's face.
After that Craig's mom said "oh wow Craig it looks like mommy made your face look better."
Stan starts to giggle and he can't believe he saw a mother do that to her child.
Craig responded "I like strawberry ice cream."
Craig went to the bathroom and got cleaned up. After that both boys went up stairs and Craig's sister was standing at the top.
Craig's sister asked "where'd you boys go?"
Craig said "we went to get sodas."
Stan said "hey Craig any other boy I know would have told his little sister it was none of her bees-whacks."
Craig responded "well I like to be open and honest with my sister. I remember when I came home from juvenile hall and she told me she loved me. I told her I loved her and that I learned a lesson and I hoped she continued to trust me. She told me straight up that the trust we had was compromised. Well looking back I had nerve to ask for your trust. You said your trust in me was compromised and that hurt me but seriously it should have been more than compromised. It should have been at zero."
Craig's sister nods and then Stan tells her "you have a great brother no matter if he's a convicted burglar."
Craig's sister nods and says "he's my favorite convicted bozo ever."
Craig says "I'm a convicted burglar sis."
Craig's sister replies "yes you're both a convicted bozo and a convicted burglar. Didn't you feel like a bozo when you were caught red handed burglarizing the house?"
Craig nods and whines.
Craig's little sister says "you're a convicted brother, a convicted burglar, and a convicted bozo."
Stan and Craig fall over laughing.
Stan says "you think this is funny you should have seen what his mom did to him downstairs. Craig was making fun of her because she couldn't remember passwords on the internet."
Craig's little sister cuts off Stan and she says "oh no mom put ice cream in Craig's face for making fun of her crappy computer skills. That's the third time this month she's done that."
Stan was shocked and said "no way!"
Craig turns to Stan and says "yes it's true."
Stan says "what the fuck" and falls over laughing for 15 minutes straight so hard he cries and ends up with a stomach ache.
Craig asks Stan "are you done Stan?"
Stan says "Craig you have a funny family."
Craig admits it and then they go to Craig's room.
Stan asks "Craig when a juvenile is caught committing a crime they end up having to write a letter to the victims. Did you have to write a letter?"
Craig answered "yes a few days later I was pulled from the small classroom in the juvenile center by an officer and taken to solitary confinement. There I was told I would have to write a letter apologizing to the people whose house I burglarized and I'd stay in there until it was done. I nodded to the officer and well that was that."
Stan says "well I think it's great you were not shot and you wrote an apology letter. Let me tell you Craig dead men tell no tales and they sure don't write letters."
Craig responds "that was beautiful Stan."
Stan and Craig hug tight.