Kiss the Girl



Author's Note: I know, I know, there are more important things I should be working on. Among other things the three other stories I have out, and the prologue of another I have pending. But hey, when one's muse kicks down the door, you do as they say, or suffer the consequences. As of late I've been very involved in a bunch of other people's good stories. Many of which don't feature one of my favorite ships, Ron and Hermione. I decided to make it up to myself by writing a story about my favorite couple's first kiss. And let's not forget the hectic events leading up to it.

Disclaimer: I wonder what will happen if I refuse to denounce my claim over Harry Potter. I mean, really, what's the worst that could happen? ::Anvil falls from the ceiling, effectively splattering the author all over the carpet::


          "Ron, not only are you acting like a coward, but you're just getting on my nerves."


          "No buts! If I hear one more word about how scared you are of 'dealing with Hermione' I'm going to tell Dobby that you are indeed not my friend, and to leave giant spiders under your covers."

          "You wouldn't dare!"

          "Maybe. Maybe not."


Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry was an odd place, that could not be denied. Many would be insulted if it were. Among other events that took place in the castle—such as the brewing of potions, transfiguration of small animals, and dealing with very large, very nasty creatures—hormones were running rampant. The owners of many of these hormones can easily be put aside on behalf of the fact that this story is not about them, for nobody really cares who Dean Thomas is necking in the broom closet, it is the other, more famous developments that this story focuses on.

Harry and Ginny, you say? No, terribly sorry, dear readers, not this story. My tale is intended to bring about the challenges one red-haired boy had with expressing his feelings (very hard for men to do) towards a certain know-it-all girl (we love her for it!), named Hermione Granger. Ronald Weasley is many things, a procrastinator, a recognized hero, and also very tall. As of late, 'whiny' is what his friend Harry would tell you about him.

So now I bring you to the class of Divinations, where the above conversation has just taken place.


Ron scowled at his friend Harry. Sure, he had tons of admiring fans, but they didn't know his evil side. So what if the dark-haired boy had defeated an evil lord a couple of times, he'd also just threatened Ron with his worst fear. Who needed a friend like that?

          "Harry?" Ron whispered.

His companion raised a dark eyebrow, "I thought you weren't speaking to me."

          "I've decided to forgive and forget."

          "Very big of you."

          "Anyway, I'm still not sure what to do! Especially because I think she likes you."

Harry sputtered; Ron had never accused Hermione of that before. "What in the name of all that makes sense are you going on about?"

          "Remember? She kissed you at the train-station last year. I think she's in love with you." Ron sat back, looking thoroughly miserable. His goddess was in love with his best friend, how did the tune from that song in the Muggle play "Cats" go again? He hummed the only lines he knew, substituting the word 'memory' for 'misery.'

          "Ron. I had just faced Voldemort—"

The very name was enough to shock Ron out of his private solo. "Don't say his name!"

Professor Trelawny, who had until now been discussing with the class the importance of washing one's hand before trying to read their own palm, shot the duo a glare.

          "Sorry Professor," They mumbled in unison. As soon as the woman's attention was otherwise deferred, Harry hissed in Ron's ear. "She only kissed me because she was worried you-know-who would come to the Dursley's over the summer and turn me into 'fried shrimp a la Potter.'"


          "Ron, you are impossible. Trust me, have I ever let you down before?"

          "Well, not in so many words." Ron smiled at his friend. "But I guess you could be right, with Dumbledore so anxious and all." Harry rolled his eyes; finally, his friend was getting the idea. "So, what do you think I should do then, Mr. 'I-know-everything-because-I'm-the-stinkin'-boy-who-lived?' Ravage her in the hallway?"

          "Ron, don't you have any concern for the possible nightmare factor of others?"

          "Not when it's you. Now, come on Harry, what should I do?" Harry looked off into the distance, a mischievous twinkle appearing in his bright-green eyes.

          "I think we need to draw up some plans. Call in the recruits, you know the drill."

Ron looked questioningly at Harry. "Since when did you get so involved in my love-life?"

Harry grinned, "Since I decided the only way to make you leave me alone was to help you."

          "What a pal."


Later that night…

          "But Harry, I don't want to tell Ginny that I like Hermione."

"Ron, everybody in a ten mile radius but Hermione knows you like Hermione."

          "That's not true!"

Harry and Ron were standing in the common room of Gryffindor Tower. Harry had been in the lead, until Ron had found that he was taking them to Ginny. Harry sighed at his friend's relentless denial. They only had precious moments before Hermione returned from Arithmancy, and it could not be wasted. He supposed he'd just have to prove to Ron that his not-so-secret love was practically known to all of Britain and Scotland. Spying Neville from across the room, Harry grinned wickedly. Striding over to the larger boy, Harry tapped his classmate's shoulder. "Hey, Neville?"

          "Yes, Harry?" Neville turned around, diverting his attention from the large textbook he had been studying.

          "Who does Ron like?"

          "Why, Hermione, of course. What kind of question is that?"

          "Thank you!" Harry grabbed a hold of Ron's arm, starting to ascend the stairs of the girl's dormitory, despite the taller boy's annoyed features. Though Harry had refrained from saying 'I told you so' he still knew Ron was cross with him. 'Not that I care,' he thought to himself. For Harry Potter was quiet fed up with the star-crossed demeanor his friend now wore like a shirt, and was ready to make Ron and Hermione an official couple. Of course, he still needed a little help from one with a female mind. Seeing how asking Hermione for help was out of the question, Ginny was the only option.

He was going to have fun with this.

Ron tried to look menacing as he glared once again. Almost knowing Harry's thoughts, the glare was forgotten in favor of a cringe. Why, oh why had he made fun of Harry so much when he was acting like a dolt over Cho Chang?

Author's Note: So…keep going? Leave it at that? Burn it and move to San Salvador in shame? You tell me.

In other words…REVIEW!!!

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