Effy Stonem doesn't do love. She doesn't believe in things like fairy tale endings or soul mates.
Breaking people's hearts comes easily to her and she enjoys playing those mind-fuck games oh so much.
She never expected to fall, but she did (and what a disaster that was).
"Nobody breaks my heart." Oh but how mistaken she had been.
Effy had made the mistake of assuming Freddie was like every other guy she had met. He was honest. He was lovely. He was different. He wasn't someone she could simply disengage like all the others.
He was different and that's what made him Freddie, but it was also the reason she was screwed. She wasn't supposed to feel anything for him; she was supposed to be indifferent toward him. She wasn't supposed to care about him and whether or not he felt the same way she felt.
But the way he had kissed her, it wasn't like anything she had experienced before. And she hated how disgustingly sappy that sounded. Effy Stonem wasn't supposed to be some love-sick girl; she refused to be reduced to that. She told herself this repeatedly (many, many, many times).
Yet, it wouldn't stop. Her feelings wouldn't go away. She felt sick every time she saw Freddie with Katie. It hurt to see them together. Effy Stonem was becoming weak and it was his fault. She saw what love did to people; she didn't want to become like them. Like her mother; alone and constantly waiting. Like Sid; desperate to be with Cassie. Like Tony; doing nearly anything for Michelle. She didn't want to be them.
She was love-sick like them, but she didn't care. He was there by her side and that's all she really cared about. They were nowhere close to perfect, but in that moment it didn't matter because he was there and she wasn't alone anymore. However, she knew it wouldn't last for long. Good things never stayed for very long, especially with her.
And she was right, but oh how she wished she could have been wrong for once. Freddie was gone. He had left her alone. After driving her nearly insane, he had left her just like Tony had. She had known it would end badly, but because he was Freddie and because he was different, she had wanted to at least try to believe in him. And look at where that had gotten her. She had ended up like them; broken and waiting for someone who would never come.