A/N- Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. There is a present for you guys at the end ;)
Disclaimer- I don't own anything.
Los Angeles, California
I walked back up to the house. I wasn't quite sure I was breathing. I honestly don't know if coming here was the right thing to do. But, I figured I needed to face my dragons head on and quit running from them.
When I got up to the door Freddie moved to the side and let me in. Both of us were silent I stood in his foyer. He had music going that was filling the whole house "Dream On" by Areosmith. He always did have a thing for the classics.
He gestured for me to follow him and we ended up in his living room. I laughed on the inside at his huge Galaxy Wars poster over his mantel, typical Freddie.
"Your house looks even better in person, Freddie." I finally managed to say, putting his food down on the table.
"Thanks," He said back. He still looked like he had seen a ghost. I know that look well it's been happening more and more since he came back in my life. "Sam, what are you doing here?" He finally asked sitting down on the couch. "And, why do you have my food?"
"Oh, the delivery guy couldn't get you to answer at the front gate so I offered to bring it up. He had more deliveries to make." I answered back about the second question.
"How did you manage to get past the gate?" He asked me causing a smile and laugh from me.
"Come on Freddie. It's me, you really think I can't find my way around a security gate." I laughed.
He cracked a small smile and nodded his head. "You still didn't answer my first question."
I looked at him and shook my head. I can't believe I flew all this way to ask one little question that really shouldn't matter anymore, but I need to know.
"I need to ask you something." I started. He beckoned me to continue. "Why did you just disappear ten years ago?" The words came out easy for me. His facial expression said that he didn't know how to answer the question though, so I continued. "I just don't understand how someone can claim to love someone so much, but leave and not ever talk to them again."
I felt my blood pressure rising from anger all over again, but this conversation was bound to happen sooner or later if I ever wanted my friend back.
"Look Sam, I know how bad it seems…"
"How bad it seems? Try, IS Freddie, you don't just do stupid shit like that you could've at least sent me a damn email to let me know you were still breathing." I interrupted.
"Sam, there's something you should know." He said standing up and walking over to me.
He gestured for me to sit down, meaning whatever this is I wasn't going to like it, at all. I sat down and he stayed standing and took some steps back. "Look, you're right I did try to stay away, but I couldn't." I opened my mouth to cut in, but he stopped me. "Sam, just let me finish please. I can't believe I'm about to tell you this, but after sophomore year I saw you… with Jonathan."
"What," I asked for clarification because obliviously what he was saying was not getting through to me.
"I was trying to finish school you know, so I managed to not come home. I went to school through every break except for spring break. My mom came to me for the holidays. Until, she decided I needed to slow down and forbid me to not, not come home for summer break after Sophomore year. When I got there I was determined to see you, I know I could've called, but I didn't want to it wouldn't of been the same. However, I knew you had moved out of your mom's house, so I didn't know how to find you."
He sat down in the chair across from his couch which I was sitting on. He looked as if he was thinking of how to word his next half of this confession.
"I ended up running into Wendy. She told me during our conversation that you had enrolled into community college with her. She told me you guys had a few classes together, but when you got your associates degree you transferred. She also told me where you were staying." He stopped and put his head in his hands before looking back at me. "Sam, you're not going to like what I have to say next, please, keep in mind that I believed I was doing the right thing. I went to your apartment complex, and I was looking for you apartment number. I never got out the car I was just circling around the buildings, but I found yours. I parked the car, and was about to get out when I saw you with Jonathan. You guys were walking to his car and talking and laughing, so I assumed you had moved on , and I decided that I would let you. That's why I stayed away, it wasn't that I didn't love you. It was that you had moved on without me."
I don't know how long I starred at him before I stood up and walked over to him, and slapped him hard across the face.
"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU FUCKING CAME TO SEATTLE, WASHINGTON AND SPIED ON ME, BUT DIDN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO COME TALK TO ME YOURSELF!" I yelled at him.
Freddie stood up rubbing his face. "IT WASN'T THAT SIMPLE SAM, HOW YOU WOULD HAVE REACTED IF YOU THOUGHT I MOVED ON?!"
"I WOULD'VE CHECKED MY FACTS FREDDIE! ME AND JONATHAN WEREN'T EVEN TOGETHER AT THE TIME! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?" I asked as I began to pace.
"WELL I SEE THAT NOW, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEN! I JUST ASSUMED!"
"WOW, FREDDIE THAT HAS TO BE ONE OF THE LOWEST THINGS YOU EVER DID! YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST SAID HI EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN MY LIFE'S PROGRESS!"
"Look Sam, let's be honest, we're poison for each other. It was hard enough for us to walk away from each other the first two times doing it again would've killed us. Well, at least it would've killed me." He said grabbing me by the shoulders to keep me still.
"WELL I'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I WASN'T GIVEN THE FUCKING CHANCE TO FIND OUT! AND, WAIT A DAMN MINUTE, YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU KNEW WHO JONATHAN WAS BEFORE YOU SAW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER?" I asked shaking his hands off my shoulder.
"Well not exactly. I didn't know Jonathan's name when I saw you two together, and I didn't know you guys stayed together that long. I didn't realize he was the same person until…"
"ITALY," I finished for him. I started laughing before sitting back on the couch. "Freddie this is so screwed up."
"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't think this all the way through Sam. I wasn't supposed to see you ever again. So, you could be happily married."
"Happily married? You're fucking with me right? You call what you saw happily married? No, Freddie I didn't have a chance at being "happily married" because you walked away and took that chance with you."
"How was I supposed to know that Sam, huh? You never asked me to stay." Freddie said.
"OH SO NOW IT'S MY DAMN FAULT, FOR LETTING YOU CHASE YOUR FUCKING DREAMS?" I said standing back up.
"SAM, IF YOU WANTED ME TO STAY YOU SHOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING! INSTEAD YOU JUST WENT ON AND ON ABOUT FRESH STARTS AND NEW LIVES!" He yelled back.
"AND, YOU TOOK THAT SHIT AND RAN WITH IT! LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU SAW ME WITH JONATHAN RIGHT? WOW, FREDDIE I WAS SAYING THAT SO YOU AND CARLY WOULDN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT GOING ON YALL'S NEW ADVENTURES! IT WAS THE ONLY DAMN WAY I KNEW HOW TO COPE WITH THAT SHIT!"
"BUT, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FUCKING ASK ME TO STAY, SAM?"
"BECAUSE, MIT WAS YOUR DREAM FREDDIE! I KNEW WHAT YOU WANTED OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND I WASN'T GOING TO STAND IN YOUR WAY!"
"OH THAT'S BULLSHIT SAM AND YOU KNOW IT! I WAS HINTING AROUND STAYING FOR FOUR DAMN MONTHS! I WAS TORN BETWEEN UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON AND MIT FOR A REASON SAM! I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU, BUT NO 'GO, YOU SAID, DON'T STAY BEHIND FOR ME I WANT TO GET MY LIFE STARTED TOO!' FACE IT SAM, IT WAS YOUR DAMN PRIDE. IT'S ALWAYS YOUR GOD DAMN PRIDE THAT KEEPS YOU FROM DOING ANY LOGICAL THING!" He yelled grabbing the food off the table and walking towards his kitchen.
I followed him in there as he took two plates down and began flinging Chinese food on to one of the plates. I stood on the other side of the island completely heated. He had managed to turn this whole thing around to seem like it was my fault. "SO WHAT IF IT WAS MY PRIDE, HUH? YOU COULD'VE ASKED ME TO GO WITH YOU OR BETTER YET… KEPT IN CONTACT WITH ME! THEN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED ME TO GO WITH YOU THEN!" I grabbed the other plate and snatched the kung pow chicken out of his hands.
"I PLANNED ON IT! ONCE AGAIN YOU WERE GOING ON AND ON ABOUT NEW LIVES THAT I FIGURED YOU DIDN'T WANT TO COME!" He said taking two beers out of the refrigerator and handing me one. This is weird who argues with someone, while being a gracious host?
"THERE YOU GO AGAIN, ASUMMING SHIT!"
"LOOK SAM, I GET ALRIGHT I FUCKED UP BAD, BUT WE HAD A SECOND CHANCE! REMEMBER ITALY, WHEN YOU DECIDED TO GO BACK TO YOUR DOUCHE A HUSBAND!"
"I KNEW YOU WOULD THROW THAT SHIT BACK IN MY FACE! FREDDIE, UNFORTUNATLEY HE IS MY HUSBAND! I COULDN'T WAIT ON YOU FOREVER, BUT I WOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED HIM IF I KNEW YOU WERE COMING BACK!" I admitted as we starred at each other from opposite sides of the island.
"BUT, YOU DID SAM! AND, THEN WHEN WE FINALLY HAD US BACK AGAIN, YOU UP AND DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOUR DAMN PRIDE!" He said taking the top off his beer.
I felt myself calm down. For once it wasn't my pride that kept me from leaving Jonathan it was something deeper than that. "My pride is not what kept me from leaving Jonathan, Freddie. It was fear that you would up and leave again."
Freddie stopped drinking at my words. His eyes soften and for once since this whole argument started he was speechless, so I continued.
"Freddie, I thought we were going to be it. I thought that even though we didn't have the title we were still kind of together. All the late night phone calls, random make out sessions just for the hell of it, eating dinner at your place, and sneaking me into your house and letting me sleep with you when me and my mom got into it really bad. I knew you were it for me along time ago Freddie, and I thought you felt the same way. Until, you left. Then I realized that no matter how much you love someone you can't make them stay with you. Freddie, you walked away once you could've done it again and I couldn't let my heart take that risk again."
I felt shattered. I was standing here as vulnerable as I could get. The tears had began before I found the will to stop them.
"I didn't understand it Freddie. I played everything that happened between us in my mind trying to figure out where did I go wrong, but nothing made sense. I knew it had to be me. It was either that or the fact that you had moved on. The only conclusion that made sense was that you didn't love me!" I felt the words sting, not only me but from his facial expression he made it hurt him too. He started walking towards me. My tears were free falling at this point "I was left broken Freddie, you took a huge part of me that I couldn't get back. And, I still haven't gotten it back."
He didn't waste anymore time. He just grabbed my face and kissed me hard. So hard in fact, that I felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of my body. The room was spinning and I felt my knees giving in under his touch. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like we had been kissing for hours.
When he pulled away, I saw the agony in his face. He rested his forehead on mine and grabbed my hands. "I'm sorry Sammy. I am so sorry. I did a lot of things I am not proud of you I was being a major asshole. But, one thing I will forever be proud of is loving you, and don't you ever for one second believe that I could ever stop loving you because I can't. Even, when I tried it was impossible. You have always been the only girl for me that's why no one else worked out."
I nodded my head and he kissed me again. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have let my pride get in the way of what I wanted. I should've told you I wanted to come with you, or tried harder to reach out to you. And, as for Italy, I should've have never got in that taxi." I said pulling him into a hug. "That was by far the biggest mistake I ever made, but it's over now I left him for good."
Freddie pulled away and placed his skeptic eyes back on me. I didn't blame him last time I said I left Jonathan I went back because a little doubt in us. "What exactly is 'for good'?"
"I put all my stuff in storage until I figure out what's next and I signed the divorce papers I filed for while we were in Italy." I said reassuringly.
"You filed for divorce papers while we were in Italy?" He asked letting out a small laugh.
"Hey, I was fully planning on leaving Jonathan, for you, I just let myself get in the way."
I said wrapping my arms around his neck. I picked them up from my lawyers office right when we got back from Italy. I kept them hidden in one of my cookbooks meaning to get rid of them, but something told me to keep them.
"So, what made you leave for good because I know it wasn't the fact that you missed me. You're still the same prideful Sam you have always been."
I would tell him, but I have a feeling that would reveal it's self in due time. Right now I just wanted to enjoy this. "The reasons irrelevant right now and I really don't want to talk about it."
"Well in that case." He said leaning in to kiss me again, but I turned my head before he had the chance to. There was one more problem that needed to be resolved.
"Not so fast Benson, what about your little model slut, Kailey? Where does she fit into all of this?" I asked.
He laughed and shook his head. "Her name is Hailey, she is not a slut, and more importantly she is not you. Which, she knows because she dumped me right before you got here because I'm not over you. See Puckett, fate has a way of working it's self out."
"That or we're too addicted to each other that no one else wants to touch us with a ten foot pole." I said with a laugh before reaching up and pulling him into a wanting kiss.
It didn't take him long to catch my drift. He picked me up and put me on top of the counter. We continued to make out on the counter. It was full of love and passion, not rushed like it felt when we were in Italy. I loved it.
After awhile items of clothing were being taken off and thrown into the distance. We were down to our underwear, when we decided to move this into his bedroom. He picked me up never breaking the kiss and carried me up the stairs.
He laid me down on the bed and removed my bra placing kisses along side my neck moving down and stopping at my breast. He took me into his mouth while he played with the other. I began to moan under his touch. I felt him grin against me and his hand moved down lower going inside my panties.
My breath was caught as he began to rub in circular motion. I let out an even louder moan causing him to move his entire body off of me and down to the end of the bed. He stopped only long enough to take my panties completely off. He began to rub my clit again before sticking a finger inside. He pumped for a minute before adding another finger. I looked over at the door praying it wouldn't be like last time when we had gotten this far, but no one came busting through, which caused me to smile a little. He kept pumping his fingers as he bent down and licked my clit.
"Oh God, Freddie that feels so good," I managed to say with what voice I could find.
He took that as a plead for more replacing his fingers with his tongue. He was driving me wild I couldn't stop moaning. It wasn't long before I was meeting his tongue with my thrusting hips. The faster I moved the closer I got until I reached my climax. I let go of my arch and lay back on the bed.
Freddie let out a small laugh. "Easy mama, we have all night." He said in a low sexy voice before removing his boxers and climbing back on top of me. I love it when he calls me mama.
"Wait, what about…" I started as I realized he was getting ready to push inside of me.
He kissed me to shut me up. "Tonight Sammy, it's all about you. Think about it as an apology." He said before pulling me into another kiss. He pushed inside of me nice and slow; my moans being covered with his kisses.
He pumped in and out of me at steady pace. We starred at each others eyes, until I had to close them because he managed to find my sweet spot. My moans begin to get louder. I wrapped my legs around him beckoning him to go deeper and faster. "Mmmm, Freddie please."
"Your wish is my command, Sammy." He said pumping harder. I was in pure ecstasy eventually my moans became his name. I couldn't stop saying it. I didn't even realize how close I was until I reached it again. I laid there for a few seconds to catch my breath.
I knew it wasn't over because Freddie's cock was still hard. He hadn't got his fill yet. Even though he claimed this night was about me, I still wanted to do something for him too. I flipped him over with out any warning and climbed on top of him.
"Sam, what are you doing?"
"Shhh, mama knows what her nub likes" I whispered in his ear turning around to where my back was towards his face. I pushed myself onto his cock and began to ride.
"Aww, shit Sam." Was all Freddie said. I wasn't expecting him to say more than that. I know how to rock my nubs world. All I heard was groans as I rode him. I really didn't know why reverse cowgirl was his favorite position, but I had found out through Gibby after we broke up, he had "accidently" forwarded a message that said it to me. Why they were even talking about it is still beyond me, but now I can tell though he really is turned on by it.
He grabbed my hips holding me still and began to push himself inside of me at fast pace. When I could tell he was loosing momentum, I took that as a chance to change positions turning around this time facing him.
We started back up both of us thrusting into each other, and starring into each others' eyes. We picked up the pace the longer we starred at each other. The closer I got to my third orgasm, the more I moaned.
As I climaxed, I let out a throaty, "I love you," which was enough to send Freddie over right after me. I collapsed on top of him this time not even wanting to move. I loved being this close to him.
After a few minutes Freddie and I climbed under his covers and he wrapped his arms around me. He was still placing little pecks along my shoulder up to my hair.
"I love you too," was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep in my Freddie's arms. Where I was always meant to be.
A/N: SUPRISE IT WASN'T A DREAM! This is my Easter basket replacement present for you guys! Hope you guys have a great Easter! 2 chapters left! I'm starting to work on my next story I'm going to have that first chapter up soon.