Author's Note: Soundtrack for this chapter is "Homeless" by Luke Howard. Total coincidence.
They said their goodbyes in the hall the next morning. Bella felt a strange sense of displacement - like she couldn't quite grasp that the time here was a holiday and that she'd be resuming real life versus the other way around. Though it had only been a week, she would miss the Bella that she had become while in their company. It was a Bella that might have been, had...well, had her entire life taken a different turn before that fateful night nine years ago.
She half listened to Irina and Kate bid her farewell while surreptitiously glancing at Rosalie and Tanya, who were talking quietly on the other side of the stairs. It was shamefully difficult to avoid eavesdropping, but she managed to rein in her curiosity until they finished.
"Bella, a moment before you go."
She gulped but traded places with Rosalie, whose face gave nothing away except a small encouraging smile when they passed each other.
Would Tanya reprimand her? Bella wondered if openly declaring her support for their...whatever...was appropriate, but quickly reminded herself the entire house had been listening to her and Rosalie...er, doing a whole lot more than holding hands. If she could set aside her discomfort, so could Tanya.
Tanya's poker face was impeccable but after watching her closely for a week, Bella thought she could detect a thing or two. Like this ever present curiosity that made her feel like an animal on display at the zoo. Bella's best guess was that the ancient vampire felt just as intrigued about her relationship with Rosalie as Bella felt about theirs.
"Here," Tanya said when the two of them stepped aside for a show of privacy, though of course there was none. "This is for you."
Confused, Bella furrowed her eyebrows and opened the small envelope handed to her. "Uh..."
"This will get you into a safehouse we have in Seattle," Tanya said, pointing to the key in Bella's palm. "In case you find yourself in need of one."
"Tanya, I don't-"
"And this card-keep it on you at all times. It's prepaid and untraceable. Use this and only this card if you're in a sticky situation. Or if you think you might be in a sticky situation. There's $15,000 on it, so more than enough for a flight here if the circumstances are that dire."
"15 thou-" Bella sputtered and looked at the card like it might combust in her hands. "Jesus, Tanya I can't take this!"
"You can," Tanya said sternly. "And you must. It's my job to keep this family safe. You may not like it, but that includes you now."
Bella softened at that, knowing Tanya's intentions were good. Noble even. Christ, the woman had even loaned her most of the clothes she wore all week. It felt like her scent was permanently etched on her body and that was...tense.
She knew exactly why she was often so self-conscious around her. Tanya alone was home the first night with Rosalie. She alone was privy to all that had transpired between the two of them, and boy did she have a front row seat... Every confession she'd made. Every tear shed. It behooved her that in a single day, this relative stranger had learned more about her than she'd allowed anyone to know save Rosalie. Bella didn't know what to do with that level of intimacy, and despite genuinely liking the woman was nonetheless often uncomfortable and at a loss for words when in her vicinity.
And now she was giving her a boatload of money and a place to stay.
"This is too much," she whispered.
Tanya sighed. "Bella, when we learned from Alice that you'd made the news, I did my own digging. Would you like to know how much security camera footage of you I've scrubbed? How much chatter on online forums I've shut down?"
Bella stared at her with a dry mouth.
"I know what you promised Rosalie. I know you'll do your best. But can you honestly guarantee you'll never go back out there? That you won't ever need to…do what you do?"
She could feel the stillness overtaking the house and she absolutely hated it. Hated being on display. Hated that this woman thought she knew her better than she knew herself, and worse, that it was true. She couldn't lie to Tanya with her damnable gift so she compromised by taking the card and the key and stuffing them unceremoniously into her pocket.
"Thank you," said Tanya, who was watching with the same frustratingly unreadable eyes that had followed her and Rosalie all week. "One more thing I'm afraid…"
Of course. Always one more fucking thing. Bella chose to wait in silence lest her emotions get the better of her and she lashes out at their gracious host.
"Keep the flying to a minimum. I know," she held her hands up placatingly, "that it's something you love. I'm not saying stop altogether, though if I had any sense I would. But you need to be more careful, Bella. If you're seen, it won't be chalked up as another Roswell, not in this day and age. Everyone has a camera and everyone is a journalist. There will come a day when even I will fail to keep up with it. The moment a clip of you goes viral, all bets are off. Do you understand?"
How could she fault her logic? Her stomach was dropping with the knowledge that, yes of course Tanya was right.
"We haven't stayed hidden for a thousand years without learning a few things. Take my advice for what it is, Bella," Tanya said gently. "I'm simply trying to protect you."
And Rosalie. And her coven. That was what she really meant, wasn't it, and Bella nodded her understanding.
"Don't let another year go by before we see you again," Irina whispered warmly in her ear as they hugged their last goodbye. Tanya's car stood at the ready for Rosalie, who would be taking the wheel (much to Bella's relief) to the airport.
"And try to keep it in your pants till you get on the plane at least," added Kate. "The roads are slippery."
Bella couldn't help but chuckle and embraced them both. Despite everything that had just transpired, she looked for Tanya to give her a proper goodbye too.
But she was already gone.
She wasn't in the least surprised to discover their plane was in fact a private jet, and that the pilot, after running through emergency procedures and pointing out the kitchenette and its well stocked amenities, closed the door on the cockpit and didn't make a peep till their descent. Another demonstration of Tanya's power and money, and the discretion they can buy.
"Are you alright?" Rosalie asked as they swept past Anchorage.
"Mm," she replied automatically. But then she remembered they were alone and paused. "No, not really," she admitted.
Rosalie didn't push, and Bella's heart warmed slightly at how patient she was being with her.
"It was a weird week," Bella started to explain. She paused, the words still formulating from the thoughts she was only just piecing together herself. How to describe it? It was like a glimpse into a future she had never imagined for herself. A future without guilt or worry...where she could just be. How to describe that sense of weightlessness, but also the overbearing guilt that flooded her senses the moment she stopped to think just how happy she was?
"It was nice. It was weird."
"Yes, you said that already," Rosalie teased with a smile.
"Can I take a crack at it?" Rosalie asked when Bella fell silent. She nodded.
"You had a great week, but you're mad at yourself for having a great week. This is the time of year you ordinarily punish yourself, and instead you spent it with your girlfriend, with friends, having a nice time. In fact this is probably the most fun you've had in your entire life, and you don't think you don't deserve that. Am I warm?"
She rolled her eyes. "Sounds like me, I guess."
"I suppose you wouldn't be you if you didn't feel that way," Rosalie sighed. "Bells-"
"Wait, wait. It's my turn," said Bella with a self deprecating grin. "Bella, the fact that you're feeling like this is proof enough that you deserve to move on. You're a good person who's been trying her best to do good. Punishing yourself forever won't change the past."
"You forgot something."
"Oh?"
Rosalie squeezed her warm hand in hers. "That I love you. That a lot of people out there love you, and that we can't all be wrong. You're perfect just the way you are."
Well then. What retort could she possibly use against that, she thought with both a blush and a hard roll of her eyes. She settled on kissing her, slowly and surely, lingering past the point of propriety had they been on a commercial airliner with people to gawk at them.
"I'm scared that this week was just…a pause, you know?" Bella admitted when they broke apart. "That things will go right back to how they were when we return."
"You're talking about Seattle?"
Bella nodded. All the anger inside her…all that rage…would it really subside now that Rosalie was back at her side? She wanted to believe it. Desperately. Rosalie's departure was what triggered her downward spiral, so it made sense that her return would bring balance back to her life. But…what if she was wrong?
Worse still, what if the fire was a mere symptom of something much, much worse? She shuddered thinking of the satisfaction she felt after every encounter with a lowlife in the streets. Or coaxing a furious orgasm out of a complete stranger. Or…
God help her…how good it felt taking her own pleasure from a bound, panting and utterly wanton Rosalie. What does it say about her that of all the times they lay together last week, the scene that kept replaying in her mind was of her helpless girlfriend tied up…begging for more…begging, period.
"Hey," Rosalie cupped her cheek gently and tilted her head so she had no choice but to look at her. "Wherever your mind is taking you, slow down. I told you I'd help you, Bella. You're not going through this alone again."
She nodded, letting her cool hands sooth her overheated skin. But the apprehension remained. The red haze that had begun to cloud her vision remained, barely perceptible but right there in the peripheral along with the faces from her notebook. Despite all of Rosalie's reassurances, Bella wonders if more notebooks would inevitably follow...
It was Esme who greeted them at the small airport, and the warm hug that envelope her and Rosalie both was the best possible way to resume her life in Forks. Probably the best thing for Rosalie too.
"We're not going home?" Rosalie asked when they passed the hidden turn to their house.
"We're dropping Bella off first."
"But—"
"No buts, Rosalie. Charlie's expecting her."
Rosalie's eyes flashed with worry much to Bella's confusion…until she remembered how much had changed in her absence.
"It's ok, Rose," said Bella gently. "Charlie's a lot better. You need time with Emmett anyway. And Alice and Jasper will want to see you."
And as much as she was glad to spend every minute with her after months apart, Bella needed some alone time and a chance to sort herself out.
Waving goodbye to a reluctant Rose and a strangely conspiratorial Esme, Bella walked up Charlie's steps. She was tired but the least she could do was say hello and thank him for letting her stay in Alaska for so long.
"Hi Charlie," she said when he opened the door.
He looked good. Bella half expected he'd be gaunt from fatigue; the September slump was something she was quite familiar with after all. But if his spirits had sunk in the week since the anniversary of his wife's death, there was no trace of it now. He looked energized. Excited, even.
"Welcome back," he greeted her.
"Thanks," she said. "I just thought I'd say hi and uh, thank you for being so cool about everything."
He nodded and opened the door wider. "Did you want to come in?"
She shook her head. The gesture was kind of him but even this brief exchange was awkward for her, and she knew it was awkward for him too.
"Honestly, I wouldn't mind a nap right now. Didn't sleep at all on the plane. I'm gonna head to bed."
"Oh, yeah...I'll walk you back. Here, let me..."
"K..." She looked on confusedly as he took her perfectly manageable backpack from her and walked on ahead to the shed.
But when they crossed the expansive backyard, the shed was no longer there.
Bella didn't register this fact until she was a stone's throw away, but when it hit her she stopped in her tracks and just stared.
The shed was gone. A house stood in its place.
It was tiny, but a house nonetheless. There were no frills. Nothing like Esme's cottage that spared no expense. Her practiced eye could see it was well constructed though, down to the simple but effective skid foundation.
"I called in a few favors," admitted Charlie. He opened the door and gestured for her to come inside. She followed, numbly.
Later, Esme would tell her of the phone call she received immediately after Charlie hung up with her a week ago. Of the strings (and vampire strength, unbeknownst to Charlie) she pulled to get the kit delivered in record time. And while Charlie would downplay his role, he had taken all his remaining days off work to assemble it, enlisting the help of every tradesperson from Forks to Port Angeles who owed him a favor.
"I know you'll be off to college soon," he muttered. "But I thought, well...I wanted you to have a proper place while I still had you."
Bella couldn't speak. She trudged through the small but homely space, taking in every detail all the while her heart constricted until she thought her chest might implode.
"Anyway, I'll let you rest. Happy birthday, Bella."