There will be a lengthy authors note at the end of the chapter. This particular chapter hits very close to home and some of the things that happened to Bella in her past is what happened to me not to long ago. You will need a crap load of tissues for this chapter trust me, cause I needed them through the whole chapter. And I will warn you there are some gory description at some parts in the story. I'm just warning you. Enjoy the story.
I stared at Edward waiting for him to say something, anything. Cause I was starting to get really scared. Trying to move away from him to give him space to think, but when I tried moving his hold on my didn't loosen, it tightened.
"What do you mean, you killed a human being?" Edward asked.
"I killed my unborn child before I moved to Regina." I said slowly.
Edward looked at me with nothing but disgust on his face. With that one look I got up and ran for the door, not even hearing Edward run after me, which he didn't.
Once I was down the stairs and out the door without realizing that Carlisle was at home and that I had just ran right past him. After running through Esme's garden I reached a fountain in the Cullens backyard and sat down on the grass against the fountain and just cried my eyes out without noticing that Carlisle was sitting beside me.
Feeling a hand on my shoulder and someone pulling me to their chest I just gripped the shirt and let it all out. I think I cried for about a good 10 minutes before I finally stopped. When I looked up I saw that it was Carlisle that had come after me. Wiping my tears away Carlisle asked me." What's wrong Bella? I've never seen run that fast out of the house so fast."
"I just told Edward that I was pregnant before I came here and that I had an abortion. He didn't react well and that's what made me run. Cause the look that I saw on his face made me scared that he was going to break up with me." I mumbled while looking down.
Lifting my chin up Carlisle had tears running down his face and that made me cry all over again. "Carlisle why are you crying?" I asked
"I'm crying Bella, because that's what happened to my younger sister."
I looked at him with sadness in my eyes. "Does anyone know this?"
"Yes both Edward and Esme know this. But Bella I have to ask why did you get rid of your baby if you don't mind me asking?"
"I had gotten into this relationship with a family friend a guy named James White. Everything in the beginning was wonderful, he would treat me like a princess in the first year together. But after that everything turned horrible. First off James would control me with what I did, who I hung out with and so on. It was one month away from our two year anniversary, when I had went out with a couple girls from school. We had went to this bar and went underage drinking. Nothing was every said about our age and that night I went home drunker then a stuffed pig. I had walked through the door when James saw me. I don't remember much that night cause I was so drunk. I had gotten up that morning naked and my private parts were really sore. As I moved I noticed that there was blood on the bed and James was naked as well. I got really scared and ran to the bathroom locking myself in there." I paused for few minutes remembering every detail that happened. "Months had gone by when one day I had gotten sick and the smell of food. I didn't think any of it when It continued on for a few weeks. Without telling James I got a home pregnancy test. I did what the instruction said and waited. It had hit the 3 minute mark. I looked at the symbols and saw that I was pregnant. I had failed to notice that James was standing right behind me, and when he noticed this he had started beating me senseless. After the beating he demanded that I get an abortion. I told him no. He beat me again and after that I said yes. I had gotten an abortion with him watching me to make sure that I did. After that incident I went to my mother and she told me to come here to started over. So that's more or less what happened before I came to Regina." I told Carlisle with a blank look on my face and tears just cascading down my cheeks.
Carlisle had told how strong I was till we both heard a sound coming from the opening of the garden. Looking up we both saw that Edward and Esme were there, with Edward being supported by Esme as he was crying.
Standing up with the assistance of Carlisle I ran towards Edward. Before I had reached him he fell to the ground in a heap and I fell to my knees in front of him when I had reached him. Opening my arms I beckoned him to me. He crashed right into me and with the force of his body colliding with mine I fell to the ground with him on top still crying. We stayed in that position till he had calmed enough so that we both could talk again.
"I'm so sorry Bella. I should have acted the way I did when you told me you killed someone. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me." Edward pleaded.
"You are forgive Edward even though there is nothing to apologize for. Lets go up to your room and continue this talk okay." I said with him as I rubbed his back. I got a nod from him as my answer.
I was lying on the bed with Edward curled around me afraid that I was going to leave, even though I had no intention on leaving him. I sighed and started thinking about had occurred outside and what was going to happen after we have a very much needed talk about what I had said outside. I hadn't noticed that Edward was leaning on his elbows and was stroking my cheek with just the knuckles of his hands.
Coming out of my daze I placed my hand on top of his to stop his stroking but to keep contact with him at all cost. I turned my head after doing that and just looked at him for a while before I finally spoke.
"We need to talk about what I said out to your father Edward." I whispered.
"I know angel; I would have to apologize profusely for how acted earlier."
I glared at him and started to get a bit upset with him apologizing again after the hundredth time. I smack him upside the head. "If you ever apologize again for something that didn't understand at the time I will leave and not come back for a week." I told him a bit to harshly, and by the panic look on his face I knew I had cross a very dangerous line that I know I created. "I'm sorry love. I didn't mean it to come out that harsh, I just don't want to hear you apologize again okay?" I asked quietly and with a nod of his head I was forgiven.
Bringing his head to my chest I cradled him to me for dear life. I was scared out of my mind. I didn't know why I just was for some odd reason.
After sometime Edward had fallen sleep so while I had the time I was going to run us both a bath.
Walking into the bathroom I turned on the tap and set the water temperature. As the water was running I took my top of and looked at the scar that was on my abdomen from the abortion. I sighed heavily feeling the scar and jumping when I felt an extra pairs of hand on mine.
"That's the scar from the abortion wasn't it? I thought abortions were not done that way?" Edward asked.
Nodding my head before I turned to the tub and turned the water off. "I set us a bath up. Would you like to join me?"
"I would love nothing more at this moment angel." I smiled slightly at the nickname.
Taking the rest of my cloths off and putting them in the hamper I started to get very self cautious about my body. I covered my breasts up as I looked down, but felt this feather of a touch on my hands and on my chin. Gently pushing my hands off my body and my head up Edward mutter beautiful over and over again. By this point my whole body was beat red of blushing at the complement.
"Don't ever hide yourself from me angel, cause you know why. I find you to be the most beautiful creature on this earth. I love you Bella. Never forget that. You literally are my life." Confessed Edward as he leads me to the tub; helping me in before he joins in behind me.
Still nervous for some stupid reason I moved sitting from in-between Edward's legs to right on his lap curling my myself around him, much like he did to me on the bed not to long ago. Sensing that I needed comfort at that present moment, he wrapped his arms around me and tucking my under his chin resting his chin on top of my head.
"Edward I have to tell you about the abortion part of the story that I know you heard earlier when I was talking to Carlisle along with the after math of it." I took a deep breath before I even started.
"The day that I had the abortion, it wasn't done at a clinic. It was done at where I was living. It was a home abortion and it was the worst pain that I had ever went through. James had me lay down on the kitchen table. I did was I was told cause I was scared out of my mind that I was going to be beaten again. He had strapped me down on the table so that I wouldn't move. James had gotten all the instruments that he was going to use for the procedure..."
"What do you mean he had gotten the instruments? I though it was done through the 'you know what'?" Edward asked.
"Yes that is how it was done, but you see James was a surgeon at the hospital so he knew all about the body, and he was going to be doing it himself the way he wanted to." I simply told him. With a 'O' look on his face I continued on.
"Once I was prepared how he wanted me to. I was frozen from the chest down and was awake the whole fucking time it was done. First he cut into my skin then when he got the bleeding under control he went straight for the uterus, cutting into it and took the fetus out. You could tell that the baby was starting to form, cause you could tell that there was tiny little legs and arms. I had started crying my eyes out and he just grabbed a garbage bag throwing the body into in and then the bag in the fire place, lighting in. I was bawling my eyes out when he started to stitch me back up. As you can tell the patch job he did wasn't very good. " Taking a breather before I started again. I looked up at Edward and he was crying I wiped the tears away.
"I just have question for you brave girl. Are you still able to have kids?"
"I can still have kids, cause he managed to patch me up perfectly on the inside but not the outside. I can have kids but not without some complications though." I answered the best that I could. With Edward nodding telling me that he understood me I continued on once again.
"Once I was completely healed James decided that I needed to be punished once again. So he took me to the basement and chained me up to the wall. I was facing the wall naked from the waist up waiting for the punishment, when I felt this hard leather hitting my back hard and fast. I later found out that he used a whip on me. He had whipped me at least 20 times before he finally stopped. He had rapped me as I was bleeding out chained up to the wall. After that day was done James was out of town and I went to my mom told her everything. We took action and James was put into jail that month before I came here. If you feel down my back you can kinda feel the bumps of the heal wounds." I gently grabbed his hand placed it on my back showing the scars that were almost all gone except a few that were still there cause they didn't heal properly.
I had turned my head and with Edward still not talking I started to move away, but not before he grabbed me around the waist pulling me towards him again.
"Don't ever more away from me again Bella, I want to know that you are the most strong, brave, and beautiful that I have ever met." I shook my head no but was stopped by one glare from him. "If you ever put yourself down again I will have to spank you missy, you hear me. I will tell you everyday what I said before and much more till you believe me."
I looked at him and was turned on when he told me was going to spank for acting that way again. I know this was the time for this but I filed it away for future reference. "I will probably believe you after a while of you telling me, but for now it will be hard for me.." After confessing him my story I knew that our relationship was going to be strong that it ever will be.
I looked at this man before and kissed the hell out him for what he had just said to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I plunged placed my tongue to the entrance of his mouth asking him for entrance. He granted me that entrance and I took it. After a while we had to stop for air. I clung onto him for the rest of the night, we had talked about the future; kids, getting married. The works. We knew we were to young to get married yet, but it was still nice talking about it though.
Sitting on the bed curling up to the man that meant the whole world to me, besides my daddy of course. With Edward sleeping I started thinking at how the day had went. With me confessing my past to this beautiful man. I couldn't believe that he still loved me after the horrible past that had. But it proved to me that there are men out there that will love you no matter the shit that we women go through, that they will still love us no matter what. With that final thought I closed my eyes dreaming of little green eyes and bronze haired babies and the loving husband that I will get soon in the future.
AN:I would like to thank Keith Urban the artist for his wonderful songs that helped me with this chapter, most the songs called 'My Heart Is Open', 'Tonight I want To Cry', and the band Within Temptation with their song called 'Frozen'. So you got the horrible thing that Bella had to go through to get to the love of her life. Next chapter we will skip a head a few months and meet some people that you will not expect. I welcome feed back on my writing, but when you do please let me know it a nice way, not a harsh way, cause if you do then I will let you know how I feel about. Leave a review on what you guys think and other thinks. Until next time.