Disclaimer : Nope, don't own Inuyasha-tachi.

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A Talking Parrot

By : Lafine

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Inuyasha was sitting on the Kaede's house roof, scowling. 'She's late. She said she'll be here by sunset.' Inuyasha maybe never said that he loved to have Kagome's around but his attitude surely gave it away.

Shippou who sat beside Inuyasha voiced Inuyasha's thought with innocence. "Kagome is late. Didn't she say she'd be here by sunset, Inuyasha?" Then the cute kitsune looked up at the hanyou with wide innocent eyes.

Only to get a bop on the head.

"ITAI, Inuyasha. Stop that."

Before Shippou could gnaw his ears, Inuyasha leaped off the roof.

"Inuyasha, where you're going?"

"Keh, to pick up the wench."

Inuyasha ran all the way to the Bone Eater's Well and dive in with ease. At the other world, he leaped out and started to go to the house. Only to be stopped by something.

That something was a bird with colorful feather. Dominated by red, its wings have green and yellow feathers and black feathers on the head. The bird was snoozing quietly on its perch.

Inuyasha poked the bird awake. He never saw a bird like this. The bird woke up with a foul mood, having its peaceful nap interrupted. It stared at the funny looking human, opened its beak and said.

"You're ugly."

"What?!"

"Damn you."

"What the hell?!!"

Inuyasha never knew that a bird could talk, let alone throw insult at people. A bird youkai could but how come a mere bird can. Well it's a mere bird isn't it?

Inuyasha sniffed the bird and the bird countered it. He pecked on Inuyasha's nose and made the hanyou yowled in pain. The bird chose that time to laugh.

"Ha ha ha ha ha."

Inuyasha was pissed. Not only the bird bit him, he too laughed. Ooh the nerve of the bird. Inuyasha readied his claws to shred the bird to pieces only to get another surprise.

The bird hopped from its perch to Inuyasha's shoulder. Inuyasha almost shoved the bird off his shoulder but the bird started scratching gently with its beak at his hair. Bewildered at the sudden change at the bird attitude Inuyasha let the bird continue the scratch.

It used Inuyasha's hair to climb to the top of his head. There it continued it's scratching at his ears. Inuyasha sat and enjoyed the scratching the bird provided. It felt nice he almost purr.

'Sigh, if only Kagome who scratched my ears, I would…" Inuyasha stopped his daydreaming when the bird, already bored of its activity, chose to bite the tweaky ears rather than scratching it.

"Oow you stupid fucking bird. That's it I'm gonna skewer you." Inuyasha rubbed it's abused ears and shoved the bird off his head.

The bird agilely landed on the cement floor and started laughing again.

"Ha ha ha ha ha."

Inuyasha had had enough with the bird, his claws ready to slice the annoying bird which still laugh. Fortunately for the bird and unfortunately for him, Kagome came home at the moment Inuyasha's claws was raised up his head.

Sensing the danger that would be fallen to the innocent bird (in Kagome's mind, of course), Kagome said the only thing that would make Inuyasha stop all of his actions.

"OSUWARI." It also make our dear hanyou plastered his face unwillingly to the hot, rough cement floor. Ouch.

Inuyasha swore.

Kagome picked up the bird and put it back on its original perch and start to admonished the still swearing dog demon.

"Inuyasha, what did you think you were doing? You almost killed my cousin's pet."

"It bit me. TWICE."

"What did you do to him? It won't bit you if not provoked."

"I did NOTHING. That damn bird bit me out of blue."

"Stop swearing, Inuyasha."

"That damn bird swore too. What kind of youkai is that?"

Kagome stopped at that. She didn't know that Inuyasha never saw a parrot before. She knew the bird has a lot of colorful vocabulary, maybe not as much as Inuyasha but it still has. Her cousin already told her about it. But, it's just like Inuyasha to actually feeling insulted by the bird. She smiled.

"Inuyasha, it's not a youkai. This is a parrot, it has an ability to talk."

Inuyasha still looked pissed.

"Sorry I 'O' word you, but trust me this bird doesn't understand a thing it said. Well, uh, it was taught that way by my cousin."

Still grumbling.

Sigh. "So where it bit you?"

Inuyasha flattened his ears, pouting. By his reaction, Kagome found that the bird bit her Inuyasha's cute ears. Cough cough she meant Inuyasha's ears. She didn't mean that Inuyasha was hers. Absolutely didn't.

'Yeah right.' An annoying voice came to Kagome's mind but she dismissed it.

Without thinking, Kagome raised her hand and start petting his ears. Inuyasha tensed for a moment then relaxed when Kagome start scratching it. After a minute, Inuyasha's purr could be heard. Kagome stopped her scratching after two minutes to Inuyasha's disappointments. But before Inuyasha pouted again, Kagome caught Inuyasha's face with two hands before lowered his head and gave a small kiss on his ears. Inuyasha blushed different hues of red.

"There, I kiss it better." Kagome smiled sweetly while inwardly fighting her blush. Her heart ran a mile an hour. 'Why did I DO that?! Well I get to kiss Inuyasha but … Arrgh and why does he look at me that way?'

Inuyasha placed his hand over one of Kagome's hand that still held his face and watched, as Kagome blushed redder than he (if that is still possible). He closed the distance between their faces, nose to nose with Kagome. He could hear her rapid heartbeat and her breathing was starting to get funny. He smirked inwardly.

"It bit my nose too." He said huskily.

"Uh um." Kagome's mind couldn't comprehend anything beside the closeness between her and Inuyasha.

"Shouldn't you kiss it better too?"  While his brain screamed 'Oh my God, I'm turning into Miroku!!'

Okay Kagome breathe in breathe out. You heard it wrong. Inuyasha didn't ask you to kiss him. 'No he did.' The annoying voice made itself known again.

"Kagome?" he could feel her hands trembling. Did he scare her with the question?

"Inuyasha, I …" Kagome didn't know what to say. Her mind was in a jumble so she just followed what the voice inside her head said. She timidly kissed the tip of Inuyasha's nose.

 She blushed again and Inuyasha couldn't resist to kiss Kagome's lips which just two centimeters away from his lips. But as he moved his head closer … the bird said another profanity completely breaking the romantic situation.

"Bastard."

Inuyasha and Kagome separated themselves, blushing. When Inuyasha found that it's the bird that took his chance of kissing Kagome away, he growled and readied his claws again.

"That's it stupid bird. DIE."

"Inuyasha, stop it. Osuwari."

The sound CRASH followed with a string of curse.

And of course, being the innocent bird it was, it started to laugh again.

"Ha ha ha ha ha. Take that."

End

AN : I know, I know. The ending is kinda silly. But trust me, I had a bird (a nuri) who could said a lot of profanities and insults like that. Well of course the bird said it in Indonesian. My father's friend gave it to me two years ago. The bird acted more like a dog than a bird. Liked to be near human and loved to be petted like a dog. Hell, he loved it if we scratch its tummy. If you gave it a big bowl full of water, it would happily squeak and dove head first to the water. Even while it's bathing it still spoke profanities and insults. Thankfully, it knew normal birds songs too.

I named it 'Ugly' because almost every time he spoke it always started with "Jelek lu" (The Indonesian slang word of 'You're ugly').  And yes, after it bit people (it seemed that I'm it's favorite biting subject) it's always laugh insanely, made me want to throttle that little thing and throw it away as far as possible from me. But after it died a half of year ago, I missed that bird. You will never found a bird as fun and as tame as Ugly. By the way, what is 'uke' means ?_?

So anyway, please review.