A/N: Hello there, Legend of Korra fandom! How are you all? I just finished the first season last night, and I about died, so I decided to write (I can't wait for the second season, hopefully fan fiction can hold me over). I have loved Avatar: The Last Airbender since I was a child, and I'm older now, it's been about seven years since I saw the first episode, so I thought I'd just contribute to the fandom I've been in love with for years.
I don't want to say reviews equal chapters, but reviews do propel me to write faster, and depending on the success of this first chapter, I may continue it, or wait a while to update. I just need feedback, ya know? Ya feel me?
This story was inspired by Lana Del Rey's song "Burning Desire."
There's something about the way her hair falls over her face when she sleeps. Like the grass I used to run in as a child, it sways and moves as she breathes. Something about the way the sun shines through our curtains, and the way I want touch her so, so bad, but I can't, something about these wooden floors, and the frozen water outside our little room. Something about her pulls me forward, a desire I've never felt before.
I mean, it consumes me. And like a fucking moth to a flame, I walk forward into emotion I don't know how to handle. I'm a selfish man, and she's a desired woman. Between the neighbors, Tenzin, my brother, and the world — I don't know how I manage to share her. But, I guess I have no choice, so I just continue. I mean, I shouldn't complain. I knew what dating the Avatar would entail. But, again, I'm selfish. I want her to myself — in moments like these — where she's in my bed, wearing my nightshirt — it's a very masculine and territorial thing, that I'm sure if she knew she'd have my balls.
But she's just so fucking beautiful. I lightly run the pads of my callused thumbs over her eyelids and they move rapidly beneath my skin — deep in sleep. And this shirt she has on — too much, and too little all at the same time — the way it settles over her hips and the way it bunches at the back. The way her chest rises and falls, and the way I have to force my eyes away because I know if I look to hard, I'll start calling them breasts, and not just her chest.
And like, goddamnit, I did it again.
This lust that has been consuming me for the past couple of weeks, I don't know how to handle it. I want to tell my body, stop, calm yourself, you're not twelve anymore. But my body never listens. I mean, I'm a fire bender, I'm used to the heat. I live off the sun and I live off the constant spark beneath my skin. But this heat that shoots straight from my heart to my dick and completely ignores my head is starting to get out of hand.
I turn against the scratchy cotton sheets, and face the ceiling instead of my beautiful girlfriend beside me. I wish there were designs or some shit like that, because there is nothing to look at except the stark white, and the small chandelier in the center. And it's not like a fancy one either, the more I've come to look at it. It's classic Southern water tribe wood, — simple, and no bullshit.
Just like my girl.
See? This is my problem. Every thought I have somehow gets traced back to her. It's like a disease, a chronic issue that I apparently can't handle. I push my palms to my eyes and try to clear my eyes of the images. I guess it's not a problem if you look at it innocently enough — I think about my girlfriend a lot. Not a problem, you know? She's gorgeous, perfect, kind, and caring, who the fuck can blame me?
But it's the fact that I literally can not stop thinking about her body, her smell, and how soft her hair is after a bath, or how smooth the skin at her thighs are. It's a problem when I get too physical, and lack the emotion. Bolin says that I have way too much emotion, and I guess I can agree with that — I've been serious and moody since I was a child. But these new things like lust, desire, and wanting every male in the room to know Korra is mine — it's getting out of hand.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and put my elbows to my knees and palms to my eyes. I mean, fuck, can I just be a normal human being for two fucking minutes? I stand up and try not to move the bed, and I don't look back over my shoulder even though every fabric of my body is screaming to turn back and look, look, make sure she's there, breathing, in my clothes.
So I force my feet to push forward into the tiny bathroom of my bedroom. Korra decided she wanted to move back to the Southern water tribe, and after hearing Katara wasn't in the best health conditions, so we decided to move back here for the time being. We've been here for about a month, and Korra has spent every night in my room, claiming hers is too empty. I'm not complaining though, I love it when she curls in beside me once she hears everyone is asleep. The way she'll sneak out before everyone wakes in the morning.
But that's the problem. I don't want her to be a secret. I want everyone to know she's in my room at night, that I'm the one who protects her when she is unconscious. People know we're together. We don't kiss in secrecy, or hold hands to ourselves. But this primal thing wants to claim her, make her body mine and make it curve into my touch.
I shut the door to the bathroom and start to run the water, knowing it will take a good while before it heats up. So I look in the mirror and pull on my unruly eyebrows, and look at the way my nose is still kind of crooked to the left after my first fight at eight years old. I look at my scarred hands that I try so hard to cover up, because they are evidence of a fight, a battle I lost.
I don't know how long I stand there, but when the mirror starts to fog up, I know I need to hop in so I do, and the water should be a horrific shock from the cold I was just standing in, but all it does is soothe my muscles, and make me feel the heat I have in my heart. I feel dirty sometimes after what I do in the shower.
I mean, sometimes I'm sad that Korra leaves every morning from my bed, but a part of me is glad, because how can I face her after imagining her naked, moaning, and sweaty. I mean, I'm a fucking dirty bastard. I let my hand go where it needs to, and I just think of her this morning. Her lower back, the dimples there, and the dip it makes. Her tan skin that looks like desert sand, and creamy chocolate. I bet she tastes as sweet as her skin looks. She'll taste like water, cherry blossom cake, and passion tea.
And when she moans it's not like Asami's or the other fan girl's moans. It'd be distinctive, like the my scars. Defined, and rough, sweet, and smooth. Just like her personality. She'll moan my name "Mako. Mako. Mako." and I'd push forward and feel her wrapped tight around me like heat, and the fire that I push with my hands.
I come undone quick and childish, like a little boy. But that's what this woman does to me. She makes me unravel, and fall apart, like string, and unknowing like a bird from a nest. I want to pull myself together, but there's something about this desire that makes me desperate to please.
I step out and warp a towel around myself. It's cold and icy, so I dry off quickly, running my fingers through my hair, trying to get it to stay put like it's supposed to. I get fed up quickly and just close my eyes and try to calm down. It's so fucking complicated when it should be so simple. I mean, Amon's dead, I'm with the girl of my dreams, she's safe, Bolin and I are stable. But there's something about this unquenchable thirst. I mean, I just fell apart in the shower, I should be able to handle the next day, but I feel bound and complicated.
I pull the door open, and when I look up, Korra is staring at me, her hand on the doorknob, and the sun is still trying to peer it's way through the blinds, to catch a glimpse of this gorgeous girl. I wish she would say something, anything, because I'm kind of afraid that she heard my moans, and somehow, my thoughts. But, I'm just paranoid 'cause I thought her naked and bare, and here she is in my t-shirt with, ah hell, no undergarment on. Like, really? Really?
"Mako," She breathes, eyes on my torso. And I know I should feel maybe modest, or some shit like that, but all I feel is my chest swelling up in pride. She thinks I'm attractive, and she likes it.
"You leaving?" I ask.
"Yeah," she says and let's go of the handle. She turns toward me and I look down quickly to catch a glimpse of her bare feet, toes small, skin tan, and I my eyes travel quickly over her legs before I get carried away, and back up to her face. She's smirking now, and I know she saw that glance I gave her. I wonder if she still thinks this is innocent flirting, because if she just felt a quarter of what I feel for her, she would probably never look in my direction again.
As she takes her hand off the doorknob, it travels to my wrist, and then I'm on fire, fire, fire. I want to breathe this heat out, I can't contain it anymore, I feel like I'm detonating from the inside out. Her fingers trace desire up my arm to my elbow where she grabs the crease, and applies pressure to my vein there. I feel the blood slow, and it's pulse; bum, bum, bum.
She's still smirking as she pulls my shoulder down to her level. I know what she wants, and like some well-trained slave, I close my eyes and start our kiss at the upper corner of her mouth. She tastes like fucking toasted marshmallows, and ton of other delicious shit I can't begin to describe. She parts her lips and I move my mouth so it rests just above hers. I hover there for a second, and I know it's killing her because she sort of whines, and then slams her mouth onto mine.
I laugh in my chest, because this is what I love about her the most: her impatience, her lack of control with me. She's like a predator, and I will willingly serve as her prey. I don't open my mouth at all in the kiss. I want her to just stay still and kiss me with a closed-mouth kiss because that's about all I can handle at the moment, considering I'm in a fucking towel.
And I guess the spirits are watching out for me because she presses her lips more forcibly onto mine one last time, and then pulls away with a smirk.
"Bye, Mako. See you at breakfast," She turns away and I close the door behind her and hold onto my towel at the same time. This isn't some problem that happened overnight. Every time I kiss her, smell her, I get turned inside out, my body open, and exposed. She's so fucking hot.
So I walk over and throw on my clothes, and boots. I drape my scarf across my shoulders, around my neck, and look in the mirror one last time. I mean, what am I doing? I'm probably going to go to breakfast and have Asami be moody as shit, as usual. And Tenzin, who I'm pretty sure knows something's up, but believes ignorance is bliss so says nothing. And then there's Bolin who's just pure ignorant. And then Korra, who either thinks nothing's wrong with me, or defiantly knows something's up figuratively, and literally.
So I walk out of the room and put my fucked up hands in my pockets, and walk down the hall and pass everyone's room. Bolin's not in his, the door is open and he has probably already started stuffing his face. Korra's door is closed, I know she's getting ready, and then I pass Asami's room. Her door is slightly ajar and I turn over and see her slipping on her shirt over her chest and as a man, I guess it should stir something inside my body, because let's face it, Asami is beautiful. All angles and soft edges, and big eyes. I mean, I felt like a king when I was with her.
But I don't feel anything now. I feel like I just saw a woman half naked, and she should have probably shut her door, but it doesn't surprise me that Asami is doing this. She's been doing shit like this for awhile now, being promiscuous and desirable. I know it's not for me, thank the spirits.
General Iroh, though.
It surprised me first. I mean, the first time I saw them they were under the lamppost outside our apartment. All lips, heat, and tongue. I didn't feel jealous though, not in wanting Asami. I was jealous because I wish I could man up and handle my tensions like a man and be able to kiss Korra like Iroh could Asami.
Being with a woman isn't foreign to me. I've had a woman in my bed before and I've had sex. But I've never felt inside out — raw, and shattered — like I do with Korra. Because she's not just a fan girl or a seductive woman. She's the love of my life, the reason I breathe, and the Avatar.
So I can't just sleep with her, because I know she's never done that with anyone before, and to be honest, I don't want to force anything on her when she's not ready. That would be the worst. So I walk around with x-rated thoughts, and desires for a girl who probably doesn't know what she's doing to me when she sticks her tongue in my mouth.
"Good morning, Mako," Tenzin says, sitting at the table. I enter the room and watch the grief that sits on the wise Monk's shoulders.
"Good Morning, Tenzin. Any news on Lady Katara's health?"
"I'm afraid not," He says sipping his tea and eyeing his children around him. I sit down next to the young boy and grab food. "She's stabilizing, but will be getting progressively worse."
Katara's health came to a hault one day. We don't know why, or what happened she just was ill, and got so bad she almost became catatonic. So we all traveled from Republic City where we were naturalizing the government, to the Southern water tribe.
I look over across from me where Bolin sits, finishing probably his second plate of food. If there's one thing my brother's god at, it's eating.
"Good morning, Korra!" Bolin shouts, food spraying everywhere. I give him a look and he looks back.
"Morning, Bolin. How are you?" She sits down next to me and I just become hyperaware of everything going on around me. I don't know when my body decided to become a little bitch all of the sudden, but now I'm aware of Korra and her muscles, and hard lines, and I want to lick her collarbone. Like, legitimately, I have an issue.
"Great! These water scones are delicious! You should try them!"
"If you'd stop eating them all, maybe she could," I say sickly. Korra playfully slaps my arm and turns to Bolin.
"I'm okay, Bolin. You enjoy," Like, how selfless can she get? She's a prophet. "How's Katara, Tenzin?" She turns to the Monk.
"As I was telling Mako, she's stabilizing, but her heath is diminishing. I'm concerned for her this upcoming week with the cold front coming in."
"Avatar Aang will watch over her," Korra responds.
"I agree," Tenzin says regrettably, and turns back to his food. With that, the conversation is over and Korra turns to me and scoots closer until our crossed legs are touching. I mean, ugh.
"Do you want to go out today, Mako? We could go to the springs," She asks. I look down at her, the excitement in her eyes — the prospects of going to her favorite childhood spot making her giddy. The simplest things make her happy.
"Sure babe," I smile down at her and wrap my hand around her hair and bring her closer so I can kiss atop her head. My fingers are tangled, and woven, and I want to grab roughly, this animalistic thing aching inside me.
But I let go, and turn back to my food and eat. Bolin is starting his third serving, and we hear the door slide open, and I know it's Asami because her boots are stiletto high, and noisy. I hear the deep bass of Iroh's boots as well and I am so full of jealously I can't see straight. I close my eyes and try to calm down because I'm a grown fucking man, but all I see is red.
I mean, they probably just had great morning sex, and I'm here, with a girl I don't want to make love with, but want to all at the same time. I mean, she doesn't know anything, how can I possibly know if this is what she wants, when she doesn't even know what she needs yet?
I just want to slam my head against the table 'cause I'm just a fucked up sex-crazed man, when I should be worried about Katara, and the silent Equalist activity, and the world. But no, I just want to make love to Korra slowly, and passionately into the night. I mean, damn.
Korra finishes eating, and I know I haven't finished my food but I grab her hand and we leave the despair of Tenzin, the boyish nature of Bolin, and the two lovebirds.
"Are you okay?" Korra asks. "You were quiet today at breakfast."
"I'm fine," I say with a smile down at her. "Just upset about Katara," I am upset. It's a sign of a generation lost, and a message to ours that our time has begun. We're ready for the responsibility, I know we are. But, something deep in my heart tells me that we're still just children. I've aged a lot in my twenty years, in the streets you were forced to grow up fast, and survive, or else that city would swallow you whole.
But, It's not just me and Bolin anymore. It's Iroh, Asami, Naga, Tenzin, and Korra. I can't afford to be selfish anymore. It's my heart on the line.
The air is cold and harsh outside, but the sun is bright and I feel my body soak it up like it's supposed to. Korra's warm fingers weave though mine, and she presses her body slightly behind mine, protecting herself from the cold and collecting body heat. I'm so strung up on her I want to grab her hips and press mine flush up against hers.
Instead I walk forward towards Naga, and just clutch Korra's hand like it's a lifeline.
"Hey there, girl," Korra croons and let's go of my hand. The lack of contact is making me want to pout like a little bitch. I watch as she swings her body over the polar animal, and I eye the way her back curves, all muscle and spine, and I swing my leg over Naga, and wrap my arms around Korra's waist.
"I like it when you grab me," She murmurs, and I want to go back, have her repeat it for me, because she only says shit like this once and awhile. Instead of saying something back I move my hands so they grab her hips and I know it hurts, but my girl likes it rough — which is part of my problem — so she just moves Naga into movement, and with every move forward we go, her backside presses up against me.
And this is my problem, see? It's like I seem to have the upper hand on some occasions, but my body betrays me and makes me all boy and no man. So I just grab her hips more and try to get her to stay in place. This was never a problem before. I mean, we've ridden on Naga together all the time, but recently these rides have become both pleasurable and hated all at once.
I like them because I'm close to my girl, but I hate them because I am forced to sit through agony and behave like an good little boy. All I want to do is swing her around, it's be so easy too. Just straddle her across my lap, wouldn't be anything new. But this time I'd thrust upward.
Like, damnit, I did it again.
We're traveling fast and we aren't slipping or sliding, Naga's paws having been made for this cold climate. So we continue forward in our destination, and in the distance I see the one spring in the Southern water tribe. It's small, made for small groups, and I imagine a little Korra slipping and sliding on the ice, into the water. It brings a smile to my face.
We come to a stop and hop of Naga. Korra grabs my hand and eagerly pulls me forward, she's so excited. She makes me run to the edge of the water and let's go of my hand, and I peer down into the dark pool of water.
"Heat it up," I hear behind me. I turn and watch as Korra strips. My mouth is falling open, I know it.
"Wh- What?" I stutter. Come on man, grow up.
"Heat it up," She says more slowly, as if talking to a child. She takes off her jacket and her pants and then she's in her undergarments, and like, fuck, they're lace and shit. No white, or bindings. Just lacy and, ah hell, I'm staring again. "Come on Mako," She says "I'm getting cold here."
The last thing I want is a frostbitten, hypothermic girlfriend, so I bend down on my knees and lower my hands so they barely skim the water, and push the heat from my body into the water. And it feels like a release this fire bending. Maybe because I know what's going to happen, or because I know that she's half naked, but something about this — bending the icy water — is making me release all my tension. I heat it up quickly, making it a little hotter than normal because I know it will cool down very quickly.
I turn to where I think she is standing, but all I see is a flash of tan skin, and dark hair, and then Korra dives into the water, smooth and angelic. I watch her swim through the water for a short while, showing off how long she can hold her breath, and watch as she swims to the surface.
"You coming in, hot stuff?" She smirks at me. And I should stop now, go back, and meditate and try to control this, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what she's doing to my body. But being the hot-blooded male that I am, I accept this challenge and start to take off my jacket slowly.
"Yeah, babe, give me a moment."
Two can play at this game.