What if: Ana left after the playroom 'incident' with the belt (End of FSOG), Christian wanted to try again but when Ana reveals that she's pregnant he decides to cut all ties with her and his un born child, What will happen 5 years later? Will Christian decide that he wants to be a father or is it all just too little too late?


Ana

"Dear Diary,
It's been 8 weeks, 8 painful weeks since I walked away from the only man I've ever loved, The only man I ever want to love, Christian Grey. I left because...Well we're just too different, I see that fully now, 2 weeks ago I got news that would change my life forever, I, Anastasia Rose Steele am pregnant, I'm going to be a mother, It was the biggest shock of my entire life, I was happy, Excited, Scared, Oh so many emotions came out to play that day, I couldn't believe it... I was going to have a little baby, I'm 21 years old and I'm going to become a mother... Saying i'm shitting myself would be an understatement.
I love Christian but I also love this little baby too, Christian has already told me that he doesn't want anything to do with 'IT' as he put it, Yes I've seen him, I've told him and he wasn't over joyed, I knew he wouldn't be but I didn't expect him to react as badly as he did..."

Tear drops hit the page and the ink smudges, I reach up to wipe my face and didn't even realise I was crying, rummaging through boxes from Mine and Kate's old apartment always upset me but I needed to unpack, My little angel would be home soon so It needed to be done, I found one of my old diary's in an old box of baby clothes I was giving to a very pregnant Kate, I wanted to keep it was it had memories of my pregnancy in it, Happy and sad memories, My sons first scan, 2nd scan, First flutter of movement, First kick... Everything is all dated and recorded in diary's and baby books, I kept them as memories from a very special time but I also kept them incase Christian ever decided to be the father i know he would be if he ever wanted to be and then I could give them to him so he would read about the experience... Ha I'm kidding myself, Its been 5 years and you've not seen nor heard from him in all that time, Not since that night 7 weeks after I left him...


7 weeks after the playroom

Holy shit! I'm pregnant, I can't believe it, I don't know how this happened... Wait, I read that if your sick that can sometimes make the pill ineffective, Shit when I was in Georgia I had food poisoning the last couple of days, I was constantly throwing up, I had taken my pill but what if they didn't work? The first thing me and Christian did when I came back was have sex in the shower... Oh fuck! They must not have worked and that's how I fell pregnant, How am I going to tell Christian? Do I need to tell him? Of course you do you stupid girl, He's the baby's father he has a right to know My subconscious sneers as she shakes he perfectly manicured finger at me, I'd hate to admit it but she's right, I do need to tell him, Kate left her old laptop here, I wonder if it still works, I could email him... Or you could phone him? You know actually speak to him as an adult? There she goes again, I really do wish I could just bitch slap her and make her shut up... Fuck what am I going to do? Don't you think you need to get to work? You're going to need every single penny once this baby arrives! If I could banish her I would but she's right again, I do need to get to work, Every penny counts for me and my little blip.


Work was uneventful, I don't know what I was expecting, Surly people couldn't tell I was pregnant, I didn't run off and throw my guts up in the ladies and I don't think there was a neon sign following me saying 'Expectant Mother Walking' so why did I feel like people knew?

Getting home all I wanted to do was change in to something more comfortable and relax, I'm only a couple of weeks gone, I didn't realise that it the early stages are so exhausting, I can't even have a glass of wine but I can have a cup of tea, Yes that's what I need a nice hot cup of English Breakfast to help relax me and maybe a bubble bath.

I boil the kettle and run my bath, I undress and pull my hair up in to a messy bun, The buzzing noise at the door startles me, I'm not expecting anyone, Kate is with Elliott and she's already messaged me saying she won't be home tonight, I pull my robe tighter around me and lift the receiver

"Hello?"

"Anastasia" I feel as though all the wind has been knocked out of me, Christian? He's here? What does he want?

"Christian" I whisper and I hear a sharp in take of breath through the intercom,

"Ana let me in I need to talk to you... Please" He begs, I almost see him pacing outside, Running his hands through his glorious copper hair, Oh how I want him, But will he want you after what you have to tell him? My subconscious brings me back to the here and now, I wanted a way to tell Christian I'm pregnant with his child and now I have it, I unlock my door and open it ever so slightly, I walk back and allow him to enter and to close it behind him, In a single swoop my back is pressed up against the wall and his lips are on mine, Oh god how I've missed him, His toung brushes my bottom lip and asks for entry, I open willingly and soon we are a battle of lips, Teeth, Toungs and hands, We part with the desperate need to breathe, Our foreheads meet and our eyes close both breathing heavily

"Oh Ana I've missed you" He whispers

"I've missed you too" I whisper back, His hands run down from my face, Down my breasts, Down my stomach and I feel myself freeze

"You've put on weight" He points out and just like that my inner goddess flops down on the floor in a huff, Nice way to kill my mood Grey!

"Christian we need to talk" I whisper as I gently push him away from me, He looks like I've just punched him, Shock runs across his beautiful features but he quickly recovers,

"I know we do" He sighs whilst running his fingers through his hair, I walk to the couch and sit, Christian walks to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine, He takes two glasses and begins to pour

"non for me please" I say as he frowns, I need to keep a clear head to have this conversation even if I would kill for a drink, He comes to sit next to me and places his glass on the table, He turns his body so he's facing me, Taking my hands in his he starts

"Ana, I'm so sorry for what happened when you left, I don't know what came over me, I should have stopped and I regret that I didn't, I want to try again, I want you back, I've missed you, I can't function without you, Please come back to me... Please" I see tears well in his eyes and my heart shatters even more, Oh my poor fifty, Please don't cry.

"Christian, I've missed you too, I don't know how I survived this long without you in my life, but nothings changed, I can't be what you need, And it's not just about me anymore" I whisper, I can't look him in the eyes, I stare at our joined hands sitting on his knee

"Yes, Yes you can Ana you are what I want what I need, Please you... Wait what do you mean it's not just about you anymore?" I hear confusion and a hint of fear in his voice, I need to do this, Quick like ripping off a band-aid. Right?

"I'm Pregnant" I whisper,

"What?"

"I'm pregnant" I almost shout, Christian pulls his hands away from mine like he's been burnt, He gets up and starts pacing, Running his fingers through his hair, I sit there frozen, I know he's pissed but I don't know how pissed, After what feels like hours but is only a few minuets, Christian turns and stares at me

"How? You...You were on the pill" He asks quietly, I take a minuet to remember what Dr. Greene told me

"Ana!" He glares

"I was sick the last couple of days in Georgia, I took my pills at the right times but Dr. Greene says that cause I was sick they must not have worked, And then we had sex when I came back and Dr. Greene thinks that's when I got pregnant" I mumble staring down at my fingers,

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have taken precautions?" He spits, I can hear his control slipping and I know it's probably scaring the shit out of him

"I didn't know, Not until it was too late" I whisper, Tears fall freely down my face and I can do nothing to stop them, I feel the couch dip and strong arms engulf me, Christian presses me against him and tries to sooth me as I cry

"Shhh...Shhh... C'mom Ana don't cry, It's not to late" He whispers, I pull away from him at look at his beautiful face,

"Of course it's too late, I've already lost you" I sniff, Christian sighs and then takes my hands again

"Do you want me Ana?" He asks as he scares in to my eyes, My soul...

"Of course I do" I answer quickly, Is he stupid? Does he really think I need to think about that?

"Good cause I want you too" He smiles and I feel a flare of hope in my chest, Is he accepting the baby? Our baby?

"What about the baby?" I whisper

"It can be easily sorted" He waves his hand dismissively

"What do you mean sorted?" I frown

"I can book you in to the clinic, We can sort this mess out and then we can be together again" He smiles, Is he saying what I think he's saying?

"You... You want me to have a termination?" I whisper, I feel like my throat is closing, Christian brings my hands up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles, He flashes me a sly grin and nods his head, I can't believe what he's just said, He wants me to kill our baby? My baby? No fucking way!

I rip my hands away from his mouth and stand, I walk away from him and now it's my turn to pace, He can't be serious, I know he's shocked and pissed but he can't expect me to kill this baby?

"Ana?" His soft voice brings me back to the here and now, I will not terminate my baby!

"You can't be serious Christian" I glare as he frowns, He gets off the couch to stand in front of me, Placing both his hands on my shoulders he looks me straight in the eyes

"Ana, Il take care of you if that's what your worried about, Don't worry, Once this is over it will just be us again and all this shit will be just a bad memory" He smiles, He is fucking serious

"I am not having a termination Christian" I say softly, I hear a sharp in take in breath, He steps back and he visibly changes in front of my eyes, He turns from sweet Christian in to Christian Grey CEO, Christian Grey Dom,

"You will have a termination Ana, Either that or I walk out of that door and we never see each other again... Your choice" His voice is calm and controled and it scares the shit out of me, Usually I would bend to his will when he is like this but not now, Not today, It's not just me anymore, I have to protect the little blip growing inside me and I will not put anyone before my child even if that person is Christian Grey.

"The get out" I whisper, I keep my eyes locked on his, Cold, controlling Gray to Protective Blue, I am not budging on this...

"What?" He breathes, I don't think he expected that, I think he expected me to regain the Sub position and beg for forgiveness and the earliest appointment to murder my child

"GET. OUT! I AM KEEPING THIS BABY CHRISTIAN WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! YOU WILL NOT FORCE ME TO KILL MY BABY!" I grit out as he stands there in shock, He soon recovers and there it is once again, His 'I am master of the universe CEO' persona, He takes a step closer to me and I feel like stepping back but I don't I stand my ground

"Your choosing it over me?" He asks coldly, I can only nod

"Say it, Say you're choosing it over me!" He glares,

"Yes I am choosing MY baby over you" I say each word carefully so they can get through to him, He looks down at where my hand is resting on my stomach and smirks

"You've made your choice Miss. Steele" He turns and walks over to the door, He opens it and walks out but before closing it he has to have the last word

"Don't come crying to me when you wake up one morning to a screaming brat and shitty diapers, Cause I won't give a fuck... Good luck Anastasia, Your gonna need it"

The door slams behind him and I slump and slide down the wall, Tears fall again and I place my hand on my stomach

"Don't worry baby mommy loves you, Even if daddy doesn't"