Waking up after my sleep, Fainting fiasco which ever one you want to call it, I realise I am in a bed next to my baby boy, He looks so peaceful, So pale but then again he's always pale he takes after me for that unfortunately.
"Hey, Your awake" Elliott whispers as he walks back in to the hospital room, It's then that I realise that Teddy's in his own private room... Typical, Christian Grey strikes again, I don't know why I am so surprised but for some reason I am
"How long have I been asleep?" I whisper back, I don't want to disturb Teddy so we keep our voices low
"A couple of hours, Mom came as soon as I told her that you fainted and she had another bed brought in for you to stay with Teddy" He smiles as he sits in the chair next to Teddy's bed, He gently picks up Teddy's small hand and holds it with parental like care
"Thankyou, Has anyone been in while I've been asleep?" I feel so guilty about fainting and sleeping while my little boy is lying next to me fighting for everything
"Mom, dad , Kate and Mia have all been in, They left a little while ago" Elliott says as he brushes some of Teddy's hair away from his head, I want to ask the question that's on the tip of my tongue but I won't
"He hasn't been in, He hasn't asked to come to see Teddy, Not that I would have even if he would have asked" I breathe a sigh and feel myself relax, I don't know what to do about Christian yet, For now I don't really care
"Thankyou" I whisper again as Elliott gives me a weak smile, I get the feeling he wants to ask me something but somethings stopping him
"Elliott are you ok?" I frown
"No Ana, I'm sorry to ask but mom told me you were with him when Teddy was brought in to hospital, Can I ask why?"
"He served me with custody papers, He wants full custody of Teddy" I feel the need to squeeze my eyes shut so I can't see his reaction but I don't, Elliott's eyes widen and then they harden to a steel-blue, I chew on my and hope he won't go on a killing rampage through the hospital
"Over my dead body is he getting anywhere near Teddy" He spits out, He balls his fists and his breathing becomes heavy, I know he's mad but it's not Elliott's choice it's mine
"Elliott I know you are looking out for Teddy but it's not your decision to make whether or not Teddy meets his father" I mumble as Elliott looks at me like I've grown two heads
"His father? His father? How can you say that in the same sentence as his name? He doesn't deserve a son like Teddy, He doesn't a shit about Teddy Ana, I know deep down you still love him but after the way he just walked away from you both I don't understand how you can think about giving him another chance"
"Wow, Wait! Who said anything about me giving Christian another chance? Is that what you all think? That I would jump back in to something with Christian because Teddy's sick? Elliott, Teddy has a right to meet his father regardless what you and the rest of the family think, I love you all you know that and I am so happy and thankful to you all for standing by me and Teddy all these years but Christian is Teddy's father and I have to do what's right and what is right is Teddy knowing Christian"
"I guess you are right but I swear Ana, If he so much as hurts one hair on Teddy's head I will kill him myself"
"I know Elliott and thankyou" We hug quickly as I lean over my baby I feel him stir, I move away from him and see his beautiful baby blue eyes open and I have never felt so much relief and joy ant the same time in my entire life
"Teddy" I whisper as tears prick in my eyes,
"Hi mommy" He smiles and I feel the tears fall down my cheeks, I hug him the best I can without crushing him and I feel his little hand play with my hair
"Hey dude how you doing?" Elliott smiles and Teddy's little face lights up, He loves his uncle Elliott more than anyone else in this world
"Uncle Elliott" Teddy shouts as he untangles himself from me and lunges at him, I guess he's feeling a little better, I can't help the giggle that escapes my throat at the sight of my little boy feeling better
"Hey little man I'm just going to tell Grandma and Grandpa that your awake, I know they would love to see you, Il be back in a min ok" Elliott asks as Teddy gives a small nod and let's go to cuddle in to my side, Elliott winks at me and gives me a small smile and leaves the room, I curl up with my little boy careful not to snag any of his wires, Teddy snuggles in to my chest and soon his breathing becomes soft and shallow and I know he's sleeping again, I hold on to him a little tighter as we both fall asleep.
"Ana? Ana?" Someone's shaking me awake gently and I pry my eyes open to see that it is Grace, She looks at me and the to Teddy, He's still fast asleep tucked in to my side breathing deeply, I feel myself smile
"How are you feeling darling?" Grace says as she moves the hair off my forehead the same as Elliott did to Teddy earlier, Speaking of earlier what time is it? I look towards the window and realise the sun has already set
"What time is it?" I frown as Grace checks her watch
"It's after 8pm darling" Holy shit! I slept most of the afternoon, I feel my eyes widen and panic set in, I didn't realise I was so God damn tired,
"Ana, Ana calm down it's fine, Everyone's been in to see Teddy and they are all just thankful that he is ok, Thant's all that matters to us, I woke you because I have Teddy's results and thankfully it's not a serious form of meningitis, Teddy has Viral Meningitis, Viral meningitis usually isn't serious for patients with normal immunity, and typically runs an uneventful, albeit potentially uncomfortable, course with little to no complications, Early symptoms, which may develop over several hours or even days, can often be mistaken for the flu. They classically include high fever, headache with a stiff neck, nausea and vomiting, confusion, sleepiness or difficulty waking up, light sensitivity, a decreased appetite, and, rarely, seizures, Teddy had a few of these which is why we suspected Meningitis, Luckily he only has a mild case which he's being treated with antiviral medication to treat the infection, He'll be kept in for a couple of days and then he can go home but he is to be on strict bed rest and lots of fluids." Grace smiles as she tells me the good news and I feel my face is wet once again, I feel so lucky that my little boy is ok, I don't know what I would do without him.
"Thankyou Grace, Thankyou" I gush as I hug her tightly, This woman has been there for me through everything and now she's making my little boy better, I cannot thank this woman more if I were to say thankyou everyday for the rest of my life.
"I'm just happy Teddy will be ok sweetheart, Now I have a matter to speak to you about..." She trails off as her eyes lock on Teddy and I know she's going to ask about Christian
"You want to talk about Christian?" I mumble
"Yes sweetheart, He hasn't moved from the waiting room, He refused to go home until he found out Teddy's results, He's still there now" That means nothing, Maybe he's found those horrible hospital chairs extremely comfortable and he's decided to stay there, Or God forbid he's trying to charm a pretty brunette nurse to sign and NDA and to meet him in his playroom for him to be able to play 'master of the universe'
"Is he?" I sigh, I really don't want to deal with Christian tonight, I don't want to talk to him I just want to curl up with my little boy and thank my lucky stars that he's going to be ok,
"What would you like me to do Ana? It's your call" Grace says calmly but I can see it in her eyes, She's pleading with me to allow Christian in to see his son, I don't want this to happen right now
"Not right now Grace, Maybe tomorrow" I whisper as my eyes focus on the quilt covering my body, All I want to do is fall back to sleep with my little boy by my side, Grace must sence this cause she smiles sadly then kisses both mine and Teddy's heads and then walks towards the door, She turns just before leaving and whispers
"Il tell Christian to come back in the morning, It will be ok dear" She smiles and leaves, I release the breath I didn't realise I was holding and slide back down the bed, Wrapping my Teddy up in my arms and I hold him close to me, Nothing and know one mean more to me than the little boy in this bed with me.
My face feels warm, light flows through the windows as I stir in the waiting room, My mother came to see me before she left last night, She told me that she had asked Ana if I could come and see Teddy but apparently Ana said no, Mom told me that I could visit in the morning, What time is it? I find the clock hanging on the wall to my right, 5.30 am Teddy and Ana won't be up at this time in the morning surely? Maybe I can just pop my head around the door to check on them then it dawns on me that I have no idea where Teddy's private room is, I asked the hospital to step up his room cause they are family... What else was I ment to say? Teddy has no obvious links to me from just reading his name, Ana has even given him her last name is stead of mine so I have no out right connection to him, If anyone were to ask then we could just say that Ana and Teddy are friends of the Grey family.
I rise and stretch, I feel my back crack from sleeping in those uncomfortable chairs all night, You would think that the amount of money I donate to this hospital would be enough to provide some decent seating for family's and relatives but sadly no, Fuck what the hell do they do with my donations? It must be something damn good or something top secrete cause they sure as hell don't spend it on seating, Beds or food.
I glance around and realise im alone once again, Non of my family have been partly happy to see me and to be quite honest I don't blame them, After the scuffle with Elliott yesterday everyone basically went their separate ways well apart from me, I stayed right here in this waiting room in that very uncomfortable blue, leather effect chair, They only people I saw was Taylor, Gail, Mom and Dad, Taylor spoke about business and waiting upon my orders, Gail was here for Taylor, Mom was working but kept coming back to the family updating them on Teddy's progress and Dad was there for everyone else, know one was there for me, Yes ok I know I sound childish and I shouldn't but I can't help it.
I open the door and pear out looking for anyone who could stand in my way from getting my way, Luckily I don't pass anyone on the way to the nurse's station, A young blond nurse most probably in her early 20's is standing on the other side of the station looking through some paper work, I ding the bell and she jumps 10 ft in the air, She spins on her heel and she gasps, Her eyes move up and down my chest and finally settle on my face, She blushes and I suppress the urge to roll my eyes and snap at her but then I think maybe I can use her attraction to me for my own advantage, I lean on the work top and flash her my panty bursting smile, she bites her lips and slowly walks over to me, Nope sorry love doesn't have the same effect as it does when Ana does it.
"Hello Sir" She purrs "My name is Becky, How can I help you?" She flutters her eyelashes at me and pushes her blue tunic chest out towards me
"Good morning Becky, You can help me I'm looking for a room of one of your patients" I'm pulling out all the stops on this silly girl just for a room number, I'm sure I could easily ask Taylor and he would tell me but then it would get back to my mom and the rest of the family and I would rather not have another angry Elliott in front of me.
"Who are you looking for Sir? Il see if I can do my very best to assist you" Beck winks and I really need to throw up
"Theodore Raymond Steele, He was brought in yesterday but he was moved to a private room, Could you tell me when he is please?" I smirk as she flushes and nods as she turns to the computer, I keep up the appearance of being interested in her but really I have no desire to get anything from her other than Teddy's room number
"Sir Master Steele is in the ICU, Private room number 50, Anything else I could help you with?" She says as she brushes her fingers across my hand, I withdraw from her grasp quickly and stand straight
"No thankyou Becky, You've been a great help" I smile, turn and walk to the elevators quickly, Stupid little girl, She didn't even ask me if I was family, If she is willing to give hospital room numbers out to every pretty face then this hospital has a real privacy problem, I may have to do something about that, but how to do it without drawing attention to myself? Il have to think on that.
The ride up to ICU feels like it takes forever, I don't know why I feel nervous but I am, I am Christian Grey I don't do nervous, The elevator doors slide open and I walk in to the hallway, The private rooms are down the other side of the hall, I walk quickly but feel myself freeze just outside door number 50, I don't know whether or not I should knock just in case Ana is awake, If I knock and she tells me to go to hell at least I've been polite enough not just to walk in but what if I knock and they're both asleep? I could wake Ana or Teddy or both and then I will definitely be in the shit... Uhhh I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling so out of control... Just bite the bullet Grey, Knock quietly and then walk in ok I can do that...
I push the door open slowly and my breath hitches at the sight before me, Ana is curled up on her side, She has her arm wrapped around the tiny little figure on the bed, I can just see his mop of unruly copper hair, He looks comfortable, A little hot but still comfortable.
I walk in to the room and sit on the chair close to the bed, The chair is on Teddy's side, From where I sit I can see both him and Ana clearly, Ana's arm is wrapped around Teddy's waist and Teddy cradles his mothers hands on top of hers, They both look happy and peaceful and I am the outsider once again, I place my head in my hands and think of everything that's happened in the last few years, After Ana told me she was pregnant I was so full of rage, At her , At me... At everyone, I said some truly horrible things to her and tried to make her choose between Teddy and myself and I realise now I should never have done that, Of course she was going to choose him why wouldn't she? She's his mother and she loves him, I always thought Ana would make a wonderful mother one day but I didn't realise that that day or time in her life would actually come sooner than I expected, I mean sure I wanted a life with Ana but that started with marriage and then maybe a kid a few years down the line but it was all in hindsite really, I have never thought about having kids, Not in any great detail and then just as I realized that Ana was the one thing I wanted, She was the thing that would have given up everything for, I told her just as much that I would give up everything for her but really it all ment shit cause when push came to shove I chose to lose Ana and our son over what? What do I have now that's better than them? Fuck all that's what, My life has stayed practically the same apart from one very large detail, I have not had a submissive in my playroom since Ana, Well I don't really have a playroom anymore, After I came home from Ana's I destroyed basically everything in that room, I took my anger out on myself and I took the battle wounds to prove it, The lashings I took from the canes and whips felt good for a short time and then I realised that Ana was never coming back to me, I broke down, The only part of me that worked was my business brain, I stayed in my bedroom and sunk in to depression even more, The drinking started again until Taylor had hand enough I guess and called Flynn, I told him everything that had happened, Everything I said to Ana and that I destroyed my playroom.
"What do you want to get out of this experience Christian" Flynn asked as he walked around my distorted playroom, I stayed on the threshold, Not wanting to go back in to that God awful room where my life took it downward spiral
"Christian?" Flynn called again and I felt I needed to give him an answer but I just didn't have one, What did I want? What was the reason for doing this? I know I did it in pure anger but Flynn says there must be another reason why I did this... Why did I destroy my coping mechanism?
"I don't know" I mumble as he sighs, I know he thinks im just being obtuse but I'm really not, I don't know
"Yes you do Christian, Tell me how you felt when you were destroying your playroom and beating yourself"
"I... I don't know" I sigh as I run my fingers through my hair, I know I need to do all this shit but I really have no answer, Or I think I have no answer " I felt angry, Angry at Ana for getting pregnant, Angry at me for losing control and for hurting her the last time she was in here"
"Why are you angry that Ana's pregnant with your child?" Flynn must be losing his mind, Is he fucking serious?
"Why the fuck do you think I'm angry?" I sneer, If he's here to take the piss and to be able to leave thinking he's done a good job giving himself a fucking pat on the back he can think again
"I don't know Christian you tell me" I know the bastards trying to gode me, Even with his back to me I can tell the fuckers smirking
"Fuck sake Flynn, I'm angry because... because, I... I'm not in control, She wanted to be punished, She wanted to know how bad it could get so I showed her, She never once used the safe words, Fuck if she had then we wouldn't be in this mess, Ana would still be here with me"
"Well that's good but that's not what I asked Christian and you know it, I asked 'Why are you angry that Ana's pregnant with your child'" I clench my jaw and dig my nails in to my palms, The mantra that flashes through my head is 'DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN, DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN' I repete it over and over but it does nothing to calm me, I close my eyes and count to 10...20...30... By 55 I'm calming, by 79 I can think again, Flynn is standing waiting patiently for me reply, My reason... I think and think but apart from the whole loss of control thing there's nothing really in my mind to back up my anger, Ana told me she was ill her last few days in Georgia with her mother I phoned Dr. Greene and asked what he professional opinion was on that and she told me the same thing as she told Ana, That she probably fell pregnant because her pill did not cover her when she was ill, If I had known, If she had thought to inform me that she was ill in the first place I could have looked after her, She could have flown home and I could have been there for her, I could have also used protection until we knew she was completely covered again but she was too stubborn to let me know and I was to pig-headed to think about using protection...
"So really your both at fault for Ana falling pregnant then" Flynn asks as I look to him, Shit did I just say all of that out loud?
"Yes Christian I heard everything you said" The overpriced charlatan states as I glare... Not only is he an expensive bastard but he's a fucking mind reader now aswell
"Answer the question Christian, Are you both responsible for the life growing inside of Ana or was it an immaculate conception?"
'DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN, DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN'
"Christian?" He presses
"YES! WE ARE BOTH AT FAULT ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" I yell as my anger and frustration gets the better of me, I advance on the good doctor only to freeze as I think about what I've just admitted, We are both at fault for the baby growing inside Ana's beautiful stomach at this hour, minuet, second. I am just as much at fault in the making of this child as Ana is, I blamed her for everything that's happened, I blamed her for getting pregnant, Almost like she tricked me but really she didn't know and neither did I, This baby was, Is a mistake but it's a mistake that Ana has chosen over me and I have to respect that.
"I am very now... What are you going to do about it?" Flynn asks as I frown in confusion, What does he mean? I can't do anything
"I mean now you realise that Ana isn't the only own at fault how do you want to proceed with all of this?" Flynn gestures to the now destroyed red room and I sigh, I don't know I really don't I'm lost again, I realise that I miss Ana... Maybe I can start with that
"I...I miss Ana" I whisper
"Ok and what do you want from Ana?" He probes again
"I want Ana back... I need her"
"And the baby?" I stay quiet, "Christian, How do you feel about the baby? Your baby?"
I hang my head, I don't want the baby, I'm not ready to be a father, I want Ana that's for sure but I can't be a father, I...I just can't
"I...I want Ana" I mumble ashamed of myself
"But not the baby" I nod, I feel like a total shit, Know wonder Ana chose the baby over me, Look at what I want, I want the mother but not my child, My flesh, My blood...but I don't want it...
"Christian, If you ever want Ana in your life again you need to accept and love this child as your own, Ana is protecting her child from danger and if that means choosing between her love for you and the love for her child, I'm sorry Christian but there should be no competition, The baby should win every time"
I took Flynn's advice to heart, I learnt that I would have to deal with my own shit before I could accept Ana's child- MY child in to my heart, It took nearly 2 years before I could look at Teddy's baby pictures without feeling jealously run through my veins, I know pathetic isn't it, I was jealous of my own child for taking his mother away from me, I know now that Ana didn't choose Teddy over me, She let her mothering instincts kick in and she was protecting him, Just like my birth mother should have done for me but she never did Cock Sucking Coke Whore!
"Excuse me Mister" A small voice pulls me from my thoughts as I raise my head from my hands to see big, clear grey eyes staring in to my own, I swallow hard, He's me but with little bits of Ana, He has Ana's little button nose and her sweet pouty lips not to mention her big clear eyes the only difference is Teddy's are Grey and Ana's are blue, My mom's right he is a little carbon copy of me...
"Yes" I whisper, I don't think my voice will hold if I speak louder
"Could you take me to the toilet please" He whispers as a subtle blush settles over his little cheeks, I feel myself smiling at the simple flush, He looks so much like Ana when she's embarrassed... It's so...Cute?
"Um... I'm not sure I'm the person to ask, Il wake your mom" I mumble as I move around the bed, Just as I'm about to put my hand on Ana's should a little hand clasps on top of mine halting my action, His warm hand feels so warm on top of my own
"Please don't wake my mommy Mister, She doesn't get a lot of sleep and I worry about her" Teddy whispers as his eyes fly to Ana, I glance over her and see that he's right, Ana's pale face is more pale, Almost translucent, Her big beautiful eyes have darkening circles under them and she looks very thin and fragile, My heart clenches in my chest, Is she looking after herself? Is she sleeping properly? Obviously not from the look of her, I look back to Teddy and his Gray eyes plead with me not to wake her and I sigh and nod as I walk back round to his side of the bed.
Teddy moves his mother's arm and holds his arms up to me, I gentle slide my arms under him and lift him from the bed, He shivers slightly due to only being in a thin hospital gown so I hold him closer to my chest hoping my body heat will warm him, Just as I move his IV drip it squeaks on the floor and we both freeze as Ana stirs, This is not good, I hope and pray that she doesn't wake cause I know she will over think this, I know what it will look like to her I have Teddy in my arms and I'm wheeling his IV stand away from the bed, She's going to think I'm kidnapping him.
Thankfully Ana doesn't wake she just sighs and rolls over, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as I feel Teddy relax in my hold
"I need a wee" He blushes again and I chuckle as I walk him in to the en suit bathroom, I deposit him on the toilet and turn my back, I hear a tinkling and I know he's going
"Are you done?" I ask when everything's quiet
"Yes Mister" He whispers back as I lift him from the toilet and walk him back to the bed, Placing him down gently as to not hurt him, I cover him back up and sit down
"Thankyou for taking me to the toilet Mister" He whispers as he looks from Ana to me, probably making sure she's still sleeping, I smile and nod
"My names Theodore but everyone calls me Teddy" He introduces himself as he holds out his hand
"My names Christian" I shake his little hand and he smiles
"I know, You came to my birthday party" He mumbles "You didn't bring me a present"
My smile fades as I remember peaking around the corner at my parent's home watching him happily open his presents from his loved ones
"Yeah sorry" I whisper as I don't know what else to say to him
"It's ok, I forgave you" He smirks and I see he has my facial expressions, It's strange but a good strange
"Thanks" I chuckle again as he giggles, His laugh is so similar to Ana's, I guess it did take both of us to make him
"Do you know my mommy?" Teddy asks looking from her to me
"Yes, Me and your mommy were friends" I mumble
Teddy gasps and his beautiful Gray eyes widen
"Are you my daddy?" He whispers as I hear another gasp
AN: Hi guys, I'm sorry for deserting you all again I've been in hospital for the last couple of days so I haven't been able to post anything without my computer, I'm really sorry for keeping you all waiting so here is an extra long chapter for you all... Please read and review I love reading them all...