This is very loosely based off of the Friends episode where Monica buys boots that kill her feet. I haven't seen the episode in forever, so all I remember is Chandler carrying her piggyback because she couldn't walk in them anymore. Any other way that this is like the episode is just out of luck. Enjoy!

"Anyway, it's not like it was that big of a deal, I just wish they would have listened to me a lit-" Blaine stopped as he looked over to see that Kurt was no longer walking beside him, "Kurt?" He questioned, looking around until he spotted his boyfriend practically licking the glass window of a store.

Blaine sighed, then turned and walked back over to Kurt, "I was talking, you know?"

Kurt seemed frozen for a moment, then glanced over at Blaine, slowly coming out of his trance. "Oh, I'm sorry, Blaine, I just..." He turned back to the window, "I saw those boots and I... I need those boots, Blaine."

Blaine looked at the boots, and inwardly agreed that they were very nice boots, although he'd never say it out loud because that would mean actually having to buy the boots. They were black leather, with five silver belt buckles that went across them. They had a slight heel in the back, although not much of one compared to some of the shoes Kurt had worn in the past. They didn't look wide though, which was the kind of shoes Kurt always had to buy, because no matter how much he hated it, he had wide feet.

"Kurt, we've been in that store before. Everything is crazy expensive in there."

"But," Kurt whined, beginning to pout.

"But nothing. I know that one day, according to your three year plan, we will be mega rich, but today is not that day. Today we had to decide whether we wanted to go out for a nice dinner and live off of hotdogs for the rest of the month, or buy real groceries... And now we'll be eating hot dogs for the rest of the month. In hindsight, it's really not one of our better choices-"

"But, Blaine, I have my shopping money that I've been saving up to-"

"To buy a new outfit for when we go back to Ohio for your dad's birthday-"

"I could use it on this instead and-"

"And freeze to death in Ohio? Your jacket's getting old-"

"But my feet would be warm!"

"They're not even wide, Kurt. They'll kill your feet."

"Will not!"

"Will so!"






Blaine sighed. "The store's closed, Kurt. Let's just go home, get ready for bed, and if-"

"Oh, there's an 'and if?'" Kurt asked, his eyes lighting up.

"And if you still want the boots tomorrow, you can get them. I just hope you don't mind getting frostbite in Ohio, or having blistered feet, because if either of those things happen, the only thing I will do is say I told you so."

Kurt clapped his hands together excitedly, apparently only hearing the part where he could get the boots tomorrow, then hooked his arm through Blaine's and began walking down the street with him. "I can't wait for tomorrow."

"You're gonna dream about the boots, aren't you?" Blaine asked, inwardly groaning because Kurt always kicked when he dreamed of fashion items.

"Most likely."

The next day found Kurt sitting outside of his and Blaine's apartment door, changing out of his shoes to put on his new boots before going inside. He would have changed sooner, but he didn't want the bottoms to get scuffed yet, so he decided to wait.

Smiling happily with his new purchase on, he stood up and dug his key out of his pocket.

"I'm home!" He exclaimed as he opened the door, placing the bag- which now held his old shoes- beside the door, and closing the door behind him.

"Kurt," Blaine began, walking out of their bedroom, "you kicked me really hard last night," He said, his shirt lifted as he looked at his side. "I don't know how you even got your leg up that high, but I have this huge bruise and- you got the shoes," He finished, his eyes moving to Kurt's feet, then up to his smiling face.

"I got the shoes!"

In his mind, Blaine was shaking his head. "How much were they?"

Kurt sighed, his shoulders drooping, "That's the first thing you say? Not 'They look amazing, honey!' or 'You were right, Kurt.'"

Blaine sat down on the couch, and Kurt walked over, sitting down on the other side.

"How much?" Blaine asked again, ignoring what Kurt had said.

"Twhndrddolls," Kurt mumbled.

Blaine leaned forward, "You sounded like you were having a stroke, Kurt. How much?"

"Two hundred dollars."

"Kurt! That's all of your clothes money!"

"I know! But they were on sale, and they're so cute, and I love them!"

Kurt turned, leaning his back on the armrest and placing his feet on Blaine's lap. "Come on," He said, clicking the toes together, "You know you love them."

Blaine stared at them for a moment. "They are cute. I just hope they don't cost you your life in Ohio. Or cause your feet to become raw, skinless bones when you realize they're too tight."

"Such a pessimist, Blaine."


"Ow!" Kurt hissed as his shoe squeezed his foot. Once he realized what had come out of his mouth, his eyes widened and he quickly looked around him, making sure that Blaine hadn't appeared on the street out of nowhere.

He hadn't felt any pain until that moment, and he'd been wearing the shoes at work for eight hours. That was why he felt the pain. Who wouldn't feel pain after walking to work, standing practically all day, then walking home from work? That had to be the problem... Except, Kurt thought as he continued on his way home, purposefully ignoring his slight limp, for that one moment, around nine o'clock, when I had to kinda twist my ankles around to get the feeling back in them... And the other time I had to take a 'bathroom break' just to sit in a stall and rest my feet... And that other time I had to go back into the bathroom, take off the shoes, and stuff toilet paper into the sides so my feet wouldn't rub right up against the edges.

It was that moment that he realized something. Something he never wanted to realize. Something he immediately decided would never let anyone know.

Blaine. Was. Right.

"Ugh," Kurt moaned, shoulders slumping as he turned toward his apartment building.

He thought about taking off the shoes before walking up the stairs- because, of course, the elevator was broken- then he remembered that Blaine had the day off... Which meant he was in the house, and he knew Kurt had worn the boots today, so he'd expect them to still be on, because, as far as poor, innocent Blaine knew, they were not the spawn of Satan. "And he never will," Kurt murmured to himself as he made his way up the last flight of stairs, holding tightly onto the railing, his boots digging into his flesh with every step.

Sighing in relief when he reached his door, he quickly unlocked it and made his way inside. And, of course, Blaine had to be right there, sitting on the couch with a magazine.

"Hey! How was work?"

"Great!" Kurt exclaimed, putting on his best smile. "Fantastic! How was home?"

Blaine laughed, getting up and walking over to Kurt, who was still standing in front of the door. "Home was great too," He said, leaning in and giving Kurt a kiss on the lips. He looked down and tapped Kurt's boot with his bare foot, and Kurt had to bite his lip to not cry out in pain. "How'd the boots go over with everyone?"

"Oh, they loved them," He replied, which was not a lie. "A lot of them wanted to know where I got them," Again, not a lie. "A few people were going after work." Wow, three sentences out about the boots and not one lie. This could go okay.

Blaine smiled, then walked over toward the kitchen to get a drink. Kurt took this opportunity to quickly- though no less miserably- walk over to the couch and sit down. "And they were comfortable?"

I so brought that on myself.

"Of course. I told you they would be," He called back to him. He unbuckled each buckle on both boots, which made them wide enough for him to slip his feet out of, sighing in relief when they were free. His heart pounded a few times when he saw the toilet paper inside of them, but he speedily grabbed it out and stuffed it into his pockets.

He had just settled back into the couch when Blaine arrived, a glass of Pepsi for each of them.

"Oh, thank you," Kurt said with a smile as he took his glass from Blaine.

"No problem." He plopped down on the couch, patting his lap for Kurt to rest his feet on.

Fearing that Blaine would try to rub them, or even just try and take off his socks, Kurt set his glass down and turned, lying his head on Blaine's lap instead.

Blaine laughed a little, then set his own glass down and ran a hand through Kurt's hair. "So, I have something to tell you that I think will make you happy."

"Oh!" Kurt replied, his eyes widening in interest. "And what would that be?"

"Well, I know it's kinda last minute, but they didn't actually know until right before Aaron called me... Anyway, tomorrow night, after work, we're having this After-Christmas Party thing, where we bring a gift we didn't like or need, and we all trade our crappy gifts and stuff. I know how you love getting dressed up for parties, and dressing me up for parties, so I thought it might be fun to go. Plus, I know you want to get rid of those scarves Finn bought us for Christmas."

"They were from Wal-Mart, Blaine. Wal-Mart. And it does sound fun. What time?"

"Like sevenish. Hey! You can wear your new boots! Show them off to my work friends too."

"Oh, I- I don't know. I don't want them getting too scuffed up too fast."

Blaine laughed, "Kurt, I know you treat your clothes and shoes and everything like their your children, but going to one party won't scuff them up. You spent a lot of money on those things, it would be a waste to not wear them to this party. You'll get to wear them for like four hours." Blaine's phone started to ring, "I left it in the kitchen," he said, bending over and kissing Kurt's forehead before getting up to get his phone.

Kurt moved back into a sitting position, inwardly whimpering. He looked down at the boots, which were now resting on the floor. They looked so cute there. So painless too. No one would ever know that they were truly demons sent to earth to attack and destroy the feet of nice, innocent males.

Glaring at them, Kurt stood, looked back to make sure Blaine wasn't looking, then limped his way to the bathroom.

Once there, he shut the toilet seat and sat down. He crossed his left foot over his right leg and removed his sock, wincing when he saw just how red and raw they were. One spot, just below his big toe, was so raw that it looked extremely close to bleeding. He put his foot down, then did the same thing with the opposite foot. It wasn't as raw, but there was a blister on his little toe, and another one on the side of his foot, right by his heel.

Reminding himself to put medicine on his feet when he got his shower, and to bring new socks to change into in the bathroom, and to make sure the door was locked while he showered so Blaine couldn't come in, Kurt put his socks back on, while mumbling to himself, "Yup. I'm an idiot."

They took a taxi to the party, for which Kurt was extremely thankful. He also found that, if he just kinda stood by the punch bowl, he didn't really need to move around too much. Of course there was a few times where Blaine- kind, unknowing Blaine, Kurt would have to remind himself so he didn't think of pulling his gelled hair out- would call him over and Kurt would have to suck up the searing pain and walk over to his boyfriend.

Just have to get into a cab. Just have to get into a cab, Kurt chanted over and over as they left the party to head home.

"It's such a nice night out. Let's just walk home," Blaine said, smiling at Kurt as he gripped his hand a little tighter and began walking down the road.

"Okay," Kurt replied, smiling back. I can make it home.

They made it ten steps before- "No! No, I can't do this!" Kurt exclaimed, stopping abruptly and pulling away from Blaine.

"Do what?" Blaine asked, looked extremely concerned.

"You were right, okay? You. Were. Right! You suck and you were right! Happy?"

"I... I don't know. I think I'm mostly confused," Blaine replied, cocking his head slightly to the side. "What are you talking about?"

"These boots, Blaine! The boots from hell! They're killing me! I have blisters, and my feet are raw, and they're not even a little bit insulated so my feet are turning into ice chips! Stick 'em in hot chocolate and the chocolate is hot no more!"


"It's painful, Blaine! I can't walk home! I can't!"

"Kurt! Calm down, okay? Just... Just take the boots off. We'll walk until we find a cab. It shouldn't take too long."


Blaine nodded, "It's better than your feet falling off."

Blaine heard Kurt let out something close to a whimper as he placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder for balance so he could quickly take off the boots.

"I just don't understand why you didn't tell me," Blaine continued.

"Because, Blaine, I'm stubborn and stupid. I wanted to be right about the boots, but I wasn't, and I just... I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me," Blaine said, shrugging as Kurt sat his one boot on the ground and worked on taking the other one off. "You do, however, owe your feet a huge apology."

Kurt sighed in relief as his boot slipped off. His feet were finally free! "So much better," He said, smiling.

Blaine laughed, "Come on. Let's go find us a cab."

Kurt took Blaine's hand once again, his boots in the other, and they began walking.

"Oh... Owe... God, bad!" Kurt began when they were only three steps in.

Blaine stopped them, "They still hurt, don't they?"

"Boots from hell, Blaine. I told you."

Blaine sighed, looking around them as he thought for a moment. "Okay, hop on," He said, turning his back to Kurt.

Kurt paused. "What?"

Blaine patted over his shoulder. "Hop on. I'll carry you."

"You can't do that, Blaine!"

"Why not?" Blaine asked, half turning around so he could look at Kurt.

"Cause I'm bigger than you."

"You're taller, yes. But I can still carry you."



Kurt just stood there, not making any movement toward Blaine.

"Look, Kurt, it's either this or you walk, and at the rate you're walking, we'll still be on our way home tomorrow morning. Just," He turned his back toward Kurt again, "hop on."

Kurt let out a deep breath, then wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders and lifted up his legs, Blaine hooking his arms underneath them.

"See? Not so bad," Blaine said, smiling as he began making his way down the road.

Kurt was quiet for a while, hiding his face so no one could see him. Then, after about a minute, Blaine felt a soft kiss to the back of his neck. "Thank you," Kurt whispered, ignoring the other people on the street.

"For what?" Blaine asked.

"For carrying me... and for not saying 'I told you so.'"

"I'll always carry you, Kurt... and I'd never say 'I told you so' when you're in pain... I would, however, think it. Which I am. Right now."


"It's just on repeat in my head. I'm singing it too."


"I'll hum you the tune and you can fill in the words."

"You're a jerk."

"Hey! You made the song stop!"

"Thank God."

"...Nope, there it is again."


I know I need to get back to writing my other stories, but I had to get this out first. I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

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